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TERRIBLE JOKES!

StupidAndy

By StupidAndy
in Forum Games!

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  • 3 weeks later...
Jeb1969

Jeb1969

Posted
Posted (edited)

Two Airline mechanics named Gary and Tim get off work at New York's La Guardia Airport, one night La Guardia gets fogged in heavily so there is not any aircraft movement. So that night they do not have any work, usually after Gary and Tim quit the two hit a nearby bar, so Gary said to Tim. "I have heard you can get a buzz off of drinking jet fuel." So they roughly drink a quart a piece and return back home. The next morning Gary calls Tim and says "How are you feeling?" Tim says he is fine, Gary asks Tim if he has a hangover which Tim responds with no, Tim then says to Gary "This is great we can drink all we want and we will not get hung over," Gary then says "One small question, Tim" Tim says "what is that" Gary responds with "Have you farted yet?" Tim answers "no, why?" "Well don't because I am calling from Phoenix, Arizona."  

Edited by Jeb1969
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  • 2 weeks later...
StrandedonEarth

StrandedonEarth

Posted
Posted

(from http://aviationhumor.net)

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa’s flying skills to the test…

rudolf.jpgThe examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolph’s nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa’s weight and balance calculations for the sled’s enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa’s surprise, a shotgun.

“What’s that for?!?” asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, “I’m not supposed to tell you this ahead of time,” as he leaned over to whisper in Santa’s ear, “but you’re gonna lose an engine on takeoff.”

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WinkAllKerb''

WinkAllKerb''

Posted
Posted (edited)

i remind the last time i changed my signature, i think it was because when i was posting stuff outside the community subsection i got so much ban and warning that i decided to make it easier for people to report me, also this isprolly why i rarely post anywhere but the game forum or lounge

"some things changes an some things don't"

Edited by WinkAllKerb''
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ProtoJeb21

ProtoJeb21

Posted
Posted

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?

Spoiler

It was dead.

Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree?

Spoiler

It was married to the first one and didn't want to live without it.

Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree?

Spoiler

It thought it was a game.

Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?

Spoiler

Because trees aren't designed to hold fridges.

Why did Susie fall off the bike?

Spoiler

She was hit on the head by three squirrels and a fridge.

 

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Xemina

Xemina

Posted
Posted

Hahaha:

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

Spoiler

Because he as sat on the deck!

Why are frogs so happy!

Spoiler

They eat whatever bugs them!

What do you get when you cross a breath mint with a bear

Spoiler

A Polo Bear!

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  • 1 month later...
WinkAllKerb''

WinkAllKerb''

Posted
Posted (edited)

[no 6, no pole it tick, no real higgs ion ]

did i ever told you thoose peop's in the science and spaceflight sub forum, always come to bring money at some point in a thread ... find the glitch ... oh well ...

Edited by WinkAllKerb''
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