Make up a Florida Man story

[Butterscotch]

On 12/23/2019 at 10:41 PM, cubinator said:

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Florida Man, presumed dead after falling off bridge, found again by family after building hundreds of illegal weapons in his garage

spoiler is legitimate

Is "Florida Man" Rick Sanchez?

[cubinator]

21 hours ago, Butterscotch said:

Is "Florida Man" Rick Sanchez?

No, he's Too Weak.

Edited January 3, 2020 by cubinator

[TheKSPBeginner]

Florida Kerbal with foot-long mustache hijacks abandoned space station, blows up Mun

[Dirkidirk]

florida man fist fights florida panther, attempts to sell it to mcdonalds in kansas after knocking it unconscious.

"those people needed the meat!" he said.

[StrandedonEarth]

Florida Men arrested after partying on beach in defiance of physical distancing order...

[XB-70A]

After Many Failed Attempts to Capture Crocodile by Himself, Yucatán Man Hires Florida Man, Who Catches It in a Couple of Hours

 

 

The hunt for a fugitive American Crocodile in the Cancún Park Lagoon is over.

More than a week after it was first spotted by drunk tourists, the reptile was captured overnight two hours after the city hired Florida Man to find it. The Sunshine State Hero was brought in after several attempts to capture “Croczilla” failed.

"I had walked a single loop around the lagoon and surrounding areas before I finally “saw” him. I say “saw” because I was a bit high that night. But it turned out it really was Croczilla! It was one cast, one cast and done", Florida Man said at the Tecate Cerveza news conference, while still being under influence.

The crocodile was hiding near the fence of the Turista Borracho hotel swimming pool when he was captured.  Reptiles Care, Control, and Coaxing Federal Agency said closing the pool to drunk people was key to tracking down the croc’.

Shortly later, Florida Man showed off the crocodile at yesterday’s Ethanol Friends and Lovers party, with cameras rolling and fans snapping photos. Earning nicknames like “Croco Cold” and “Rough ‘Dile”, the croc’ has captured the hearts of Cancún and gained Yucatán’s attention, too.

Animal control said they believe the crocodile was someone’s emotional support pet, and they dumped him in the lagoon, sadly.

However, Croczilla is expected to go to a zoo, where he will meet other friends.

 

As for Florida Man, we have been without news from him ever since. The last person who saw him said he was trying to insert a key in what he probably thought was his room door’s lock, when it was the local police office.

Edited April 9, 2020 by XB-70A

[Butterscotch]

*Uses magical powers to revive the chat*

[Lewie]

Florida Man Marries Alligator

Last week, A Floridian man by the name of Kleetus Jones was found in his mother’s basement making love to an alligator.

After seeing her son with an alligator in bed, kleetus’s mother was somewhat surprised, as even though he was with an alligator that was more then she expected.

Two days later, Kleetus proposed to the gator, and the gator accepted. 

Twenty minutes later, they were wed in the ‘chapel of love’ on I-24

Kleetus and his lovely alligator wife now reside in the everglades. 

[Iapetus7342]

Florida Man attempts to go to the Moon using a explosive oil drum; ends up on Mars instead.

[TwoCalories]

Florida man grills and eats entire wooden meter stick without side effects; scientists baffled.