The Conspiracy Game!

[Misguided Kerbal]

This game goes like this: first, you find some tiny disruptance/problem/whatever, and turn it into a conspiracy theory. Then, you have to answer the person above's thing with a perfectly logical explanation.

For example:

Person A: A cockroach skittered over my desk, and since a cockroach is flat, the Earth must be too!

Person B: No way, because the Earth's gravity is enough to pull itself into it's sphere. Unless Cockroaches have the ability to Manipulate spacetime, this is impossible.

...

 

I'll start it off:

Today, my rice was a bit undercooked. Well, that must mean that the CIA sabotaged my rice cooker through the Government's 5G Skynet and is trying to kill me!

Edited July 15, 2020 by Misguided_Kerbal

[HansonKerman]

I don’t understand. What do you mean by “logical response?” Can you give an example?

[Misguided Kerbal]

27 minutes ago, HansonKerman said:

I don’t understand. What do you mean by “logical response?” Can you give an example?

Like, the best, most reasonal, rational response. I'll edit the OP.

[HansonKerman]

I see.

ok...

15 hours ago, Misguided_Kerbal said:

Today, my rice was a bit undercooked. Well, that must mean that the CIA sabotaged my rice cooker through the Government's 5G Skynet and is trying to kill me!

Of course not. You probably just have a bad rice cooker, or you accidentally undercooked it. Also, how would sabotaging a rice cooker kill you?

BUT yesterday I tripped on a rock and almost fell. THIS MEANS THAT ROCKS ARe being placed around me by an assassin to try to kill me! AAAAAAA

[Misguided Kerbal]

2 hours ago, HansonKerman said:

BUT yesterday I tripped on a rock and almost fell. THIS MEANS THAT ROCKS ARe being placed around me by an assassin to try to kill me! AAAAAAA

Why would an assasin want to kill you? And why would they do it by placing rocks?

Last night, I got some glue on my hand on accident. THE CIA MUST HAVE ENGINEERED IT TO FALL ON MY HAND, AND THERE'S POISON IN IT. AHHHHHHHH!!!!

[HansonKerman]

How would you make poison (noun) /poison (verb) glue that kills you when it falls on your hand, and why would it be done through glue?

 

I saw a dot travelling along the sky today. When I asked what it was, they said “an airplane”. BUT I KNOW WHAT IT REALLY WAS. IT WAS PART OF THE GLOBAL LIE THAT THE EARTH IS FLAT, and tHE SYMPATHIZERS ARE SHOOTING PAPER AIRPLANES INTO THE SKY TO TrIck us!!11111111

Edited July 15, 2020 by HansonKerman

[Lewie]

10 minutes ago, HansonKerman said:

I saw a dot travelling along the sky today. When I asked what it was, they said “an airplane”. BUT I KNOW WHAT IT REALLY WAS. IT WAS PART OF THE GLOBAL LIE THAT THE EARTH IS FLAT, and tHE SYMPATHIZERS ARE SHOOTING PAPER AIRPLANES INTO THE SKY TO TrIck us!!11111111

It was actually propaganda pamphlets dropped by Penginuats! They were passing by on the Clark, and their mission was to fake the Mun landing(on Duna)

[HansonKerman]

2 hours ago, Lewie said:

It was actually propaganda pamphlets dropped by Penginuats! They were passing by on the Clark, and their mission was to fake the Mun landing(on Duna)

No, this isn’t how you play the game

[DunaManiac]

6 hours ago, HansonKerman said:

How would you make poison (noun) /poison (verb) glue that kills you when it falls on your hand, and why would it be done through glue?

 

I saw a dot travelling along the sky today. When I asked what it was, they said “an airplane”. BUT I KNOW WHAT IT REALLY WAS. IT WAS PART OF THE GLOBAL LIE THAT THE EARTH IS FLAT, and tHE SYMPATHIZERS ARE SHOOTING PAPER AIRPLANES INTO THE SKY TO TrIck us!!11111111

It was a speck of dust floating right in front of your eyes, or maybe a jet from really far away.

Today, I was in my room in the morning and it was cold. IN SUMMER. ALL THE SPACE AGENCIES OF THE WORLD HAVE CONSPIRED TO LOWER THE EARTH'S GLOBAL TEMPERATURE THROUGH SOME TWISTED EXPERIMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!1!111!

[Misguided Kerbal]

Just now, DunaManiac said:

Today, I was in my room in the morning and it was cold. IN SUMMER. ALL THE SPACE AGENCIES OF THE WORLD HAVE CONSPIRED TO LOWER THE EARTH'S GLOBAL TEMPERATURE THROUGH SOME TWISTED EXPERIMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!1!111!

Isn't it better to cool the Earth? Also, if we had that technology, we'd probably be using it already.

Today, I booted up KSP, and I tried to search something. It was SO SLOW! This must mean that THE CIA IS HACKING MY INTERNET AND EVERYONE ELSES, SPREADING PROPAGANDA AND SLOWING DOWN INTERNET TO RETURN US TO THE DAYS OF COMMODORE 64!!!!!!!!

[DunaManiac]

34 minutes ago, Misguided_Kerbal said:

Today, I booted up KSP, and I tried to search something. It was SO SLOW! This must mean that THE CIA IS HACKING MY INTERNET AND EVERYONE ELSES, SPREADING PROPAGANDA AND SLOWING DOWN INTERNET TO RETURN US TO THE DAYS OF COMMODORE 64!!!!!!!!

It's just because a lot of people are using the internet at the same time.

One of the biggest Twitter hacks happened today.

IT'S A HOAX BY THE ILLUMINATI SPACE LIZARDS, AND THE REAL TWEETS WERE TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT THEM!

[HansonKerman]

I honestly have no idea what you mean.

THIS MUST MEAN THAT THERE IS A BRAIN WASHING EXPERIMENT GOING AROUND THE WORLD! I’M SLOWLY FORGRTTING EVERYTHING ABOuT twitter and soon I will be a mindless slave to the fish people that rule the world!!!

Edited July 16, 2020 by HansonKerman
No, but seriously I know nothing about Twitter. What happened? I’m interested!

[Misguided Kerbal]

36 minutes ago, HansonKerman said:

I honestly have no idea what you mean.

THIS MUST MEAN THAT THERE IS A BRAIN WASHING EXPERIMENT GOING AROUND THE WORLD! I’M SLOWLY FORGRTTING EVERYTHING ABOuT twitter and soon I will be a mindless slave to the fish people that rule the world!!!

Fish People!? You mean bureaucrat, right?

I wanted to scream AAAAHHHH fro no reason, SO THE FBI MUST HAVE IMPLANTED SOMETHING IN MY HEAD! AHHHHHHHHHHH

[Guest]

No way you have no reason to have something implanted into you

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I saw a comet last night. They're so bright and fluffy. So THAT MUST MEAN THAT ALIENS HAVE ARRIVED TO INVADE US .

[Misguided Kerbal]

11 hours ago, The Doodling Astronaut said:

No way you have no reason to have something implanted into you

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I saw a comet last night. They're so bright and fluffy. So THAT MUST MEAN THAT ALIENS HAVE ARRIVED TO INVADE US .

Why would aliens invade us? We humans suck as a species.

I tried to draw on a paper, but the paper had a big dot on it! IT MUST BE A CIA RECORDER!!!!! AHHHHHHH

[DunaManiac]

It's a blotch of ink, possibly a spill, or maybe a period.

Everyone hates Comic Sans. THAT MEANS THAT THERE IS A MASSIVE GLOBAL CONSPIRACY AGAINST COMIC SANS. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh god, real conspircy theorists must be getting so annoyed looking at this

[Lewie]

On 7/15/2020 at 1:22 PM, HansonKerman said:

No, this isn’t how you play the game

PENGINAUT SYMPATHIZER!!!

[kerbiloid]

@Lewie is trying to derail the thread already twice. Obviously, he's worried that it can reveal his secrets.

[Lewie]

5 hours ago, kerbiloid said:

@Lewie is trying to derail the thread already twice. Obviously, he's worried that it can reveal his secrets.

Nope, I am actually just really bored.

Today during drills, I saw heard a siren going off. I also heard a fire alarm, and I know that when toast gets burnt it sets the alarms off...IT MUST MEAN THAT THE TOASTERS ARE GOING TO RISE UP AGAINST HUMANITY!!

[kerbiloid]

1 hour ago, Lewie said:

Today during drills,

Spoiler

1 hour ago, Lewie said:

I saw

Spoiler

1 hour ago, Lewie said:

heard a siren going off

Spoiler

1 hour ago, Lewie said:

I also heard a fire alarm

Spoiler

 

Toasters can't win everywhere because we here usually don't have toasters. And you should learn the difference between a drill and a saw.

***

Once I had thought about the new fountain. the city starts building the new fountain exactly at that place.

(And no, I'm not in the administration.)

 

 

 

Edited July 23, 2020 by kerbiloid

[DunaManiac]

It's just a coincidence.

Some conspiracy theorists say that the ILLUMINATI is real. But it isn't. So THAT MEANS THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY AGENTS OF THE KITTEN EATING CANNIBAL CATPEOPLE OVERLORDS TO TRICK PEOPLE INTO BELIEVING CRAZY THINGS TO HIDE THEIR TRUE EXISTENCE!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!1111!!!!1

 

 

 

Edited July 25, 2020 by DunaManiac

[catloaf]

No, the kitten eating cannibal is a conspiracy theory. It is not a real thing. Nevermind, this exists. The world is ending!!

[Misguided Kerbal]

1 hour ago, catloaf said:

If that's your conspiracy theory, then the answer is no.

 

AHHH KSP TAKES SO LONG TO LOAD THE CIA IS TAKING OVER MY COMPUTER AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[catloaf]

13 hours ago, Misguided_Kerbal said:

If that's your conspiracy theory, then the answer is no.

 

AHHH KSP TAKES SO LONG TO LOAD THE CIA IS TAKING OVER MY COMPUTER AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

No you downloaded 500 more mods than you should have.

Mojang removed block hitting 1.9. ALIENS abducted notch, brainwashed Jeb, took Microsoft money and RUINED MINECRAFT!!!!!!!! Because"one-point-eight PvP is just spam clicking duh everyone who hates 1.9 is a nooob #1.9masterrace" (in an obnoxious voice.) It must be ALIENS because WHY ELSE would Mojang change a system THAT IS A GOOD SYSTEM THAT EVERYBODY likes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited July 27, 2020 by catloaf

[Commodore_32]

17 hours ago, catloaf said:

Mojang removed block hitting 1.9. ALIENS abducted notch, brainwashed Jeb, took Microsoft money and RUINED MINECRAFT!!!!!!!! Because"one-point-eight PvP is just spam clicking duh everyone who hates 1.9 is a nooob #1.9masterrace" (in an obnoxious voice.) It must be ALIENS because WHY ELSE would Mojang change a system THAT IS A GOOD SYSTEM THAT EVERYBODY

1.9 added shield which make PvP just holding right cclick

From the last 3 days my ping on games is STRATOSPHERICAL!!

500ms of ping IN AVERAGE! AND PEAKS OF 20,000ms!

MY ISP SUCKS!!!