TwoCalories Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 (edited) Inspired by the meme/series on YouTube called "The Raptor Roasts the [insert fighter jet]", your goal is to roast the above user's fighter jet of choice. Posts will include the name of the fighter jet, a picture of the said fighter jet, and then a roast to the fighter jet above you. Example below: Spoiler F-15E Strike Eagle "Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my 104:0 K/D ratio." Just for clarity: you are allowed to reuse planes. Before we get into this game, keep in mind that this is all for fun, and not to take anything personally, and to not get too deep into the realm of politics. I'll start off the game by roasting the F-15E in the example in the spoiler. *** F/A-18F Super Hornet "That's nice, but I've yet to see one try and land on an aircraft carrier." Edited January 9 by TwoCalories Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimera Industries Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 (edited) Sukhoi Su-35 "Imagine needing drop tanks to get any kind of range." Edited January 6 by Kimera Industries Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted January 7 Author Share Posted January 7 (edited) F/A-18E Super Hornet "You're one to talk about range, since all you do is go to airshows and pull Cobras in front of a crowd." Edited January 7 by TwoCalories Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimera Industries Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 @TwoCalories do you pick a new plane each time or stick with the same one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted January 8 Author Share Posted January 8 (edited) On 1/7/2024 at 3:51 PM, Kimera Industries said: @TwoCalories do you pick a new plane each time or stick with the same one? You can do either. Edited January 9 by TwoCalories Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimera Industries Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Convair F2Y Sea Dart "Who needs an aircraft carrier to land on water? Oh wait, you do, ha!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted January 8 Author Share Posted January 8 F/A-18E Super Hornet "I really don't understand why water landings are such a priority for you, because to do a water landing you need to be able to take off from the water in the first place." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimera Industries Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 B-2 Spirit "You can't reach your target if the enemy spots you first, which it will!" Spoiler Yours actually made me laugh really hard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormpilot Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 F-15e strike eagle ”Imagine costing several MLB teams per unit” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted January 8 Author Share Posted January 8 F/A-18C Hornet "Well, if it isn't the F-15 Eagle, coming here to brag about their spotless 100:0 K/D ratio. Well, has anyone ever told you that your ego (and airframe) is so huge that they completely overshadow the F-16s and F-18s that had to do the SEAD missions to allow you to even approach enemy airspace?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerbalsaurus Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 (edited) North American X-15 "Your one to talk. The most dangerous flyby you've ever done is over football game." Spoiler 3 hours ago, TwoCalories said: F/A-18C Hornet You're obsessed with that plane. Edited January 9 by Kerbalsaurus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimera Industries Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 1 hour ago, Kerbalsaurus said: You're obsessed with that plane. What gave you that idea? F-22 Raptor "The only thing you've ever killed as a 'fighter' jet was your pilots." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted January 9 Author Share Posted January 9 F/A-18E Super Hornet "Well, well, well, the F-22 Raptor. Wanna know what the '22' in F-22 stands for? It stands for how many millions of dollars it takes to fly you a single time. You think you're awesome and stuff because you've got 2D thrust vectoring, outdated stealth coating, and an entire subreddit who worships you as their god. 'I'm the most lethal plane to exist!' I hear you cry. Well, usually lethal means you've killed something. The only thing I've seen you kill is a spy balloon. I'm honestly surprised they didn't just bring out an F-16 to do the job, since if there was a slight wisp of cloud that day, they'd have to keep you in your temperature-controlled hangar while your custom-formula jet fuel brews. Hopefully there's an airshow soon, because if not, you're gonna stay in that hangar for a long time, buddy." Spoiler I had no reason to roast the F-22 that hard, but I did it anyway. *** 3 hours ago, Kerbalsaurus said: You're obsessed with that plane. Well, actually, I'm more obsessed with the F/A-18E/F Super Hornet. The one showcased was a F/A-18C Legacy Hornet. You see, the difference is *writes enough about the F/A-18 Super Hornet to fill the Library of Alexandria three times* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimera Industries Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 1 minute ago, TwoCalories said: Well, actually, I'm more obsessed with the F/A-18E/F Super Hornet. The one showcased was a F/A-18C Legacy Hornet. You see, the difference is *writes enough about the F/A-18 Super Hornet to fill the Library of Alexandria three times* Like I said, obsessed. F-16 Fighting Falcon "Can't exactly be so good at missions with lower visibility." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted January 9 Author Share Posted January 9 (edited) F/A-18F Super Hornet "Well maybe not, but try this, hot shot!" *turns off one engine* Edited January 9 by TwoCalories Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstroWolfie Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 I don't know if this one would count but: CFA-44 Nosferatu "Imagine needing to conserve your missiles" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted January 11 Author Share Posted January 11 F/A-18F Super Hornet (Osean Air Defense Force) "Imagine not existing in real life." Spoiler I don't even play Ace Combat 7, I just know some of the lore. Also, I promise I'll stop using the F/A-18 all the time... probably... hopefully... probably not... okay, definitely not you know me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimera Industries Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 23 hours ago, TwoCalories said: Also, I promise I'll stop using the F/A-18 all the time... probably... hopefully... probably not... okay, definitely not you know me No need to apologize, we've all got that one aerospace vehicle we defend to the very end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 Just gonna put a new fighter to get the game moving along again... F-14 Tomcat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted February 16 Author Share Posted February 16 (edited) F/A-18F Super Hornet eww a watermark in the photo "I'm quite surprised to see a Tomcat flying. I thought they were all scrapped by the Navy to prevent the other side from using you for what you did best: spare parts. You act all tough shooting down MiGs and pretending you dogfighted them when in reality you just went BVR. The moment something equal to you shows up on the battlefield you're out of there faster than your wings tearing off when you pull a slight turn. You did better in Hollywood then as a fighter. I especially loved your performance in Interstellar as the Endurance space station, especially during the docking scene. And yet somehow you overshadow literally almost every other fighter jet, probably because you're a literal flying tennis court. Like, look at that airframe! Look at those wings... Those high maintenance variable sweep wings that make you more expensive than an F-22 Raptor. Your pilots probably pump copium into their pressure masks instead of oxygen based on how they act. You can only dream of high AOA turns and AMRAAMs. You were supposed to be the Navy's multirole, but you let them down like your hydraulics on your second test flight. I sincerely hope you can actually land at base, instead of landing in the #1 Most Dangerous Aircraft to Fly list." Spoiler Sorry to double post, but I really, really wanted to vent about the F-14 today for some reason. Edited February 16 by TwoCalories Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimera Industries Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 On 2/16/2024 at 4:12 PM, TwoCalories said: I especially loved your performance in Interstellar as the Endurance space station, especially during the docking scene. That was delightful. To be fair, all planes deserve a good roast now and then to keep their hubris in check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimera Industries Posted September 8 Share Posted September 8 F-16C You wish you could be mass produced like me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted October 11 Author Share Posted October 11 MiG-21 Fishbed "Don't even try and MENTION mass production you unstable twig of an airframe." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mars-Bound Hokie Posted October 14 Share Posted October 14 MiG-23 "Flogger" You may outnumber me 2 to 1, but numbers mean nothing when you're an inferior design. I can fly faster, farther, and higher than you, not to mention I can sweep my wings for speed as well as style. If you're still foolish enough to try and fight me, I should warn you that it's not going to happen because I can blow you up before you get close enough to even see me. And on the off-chance you do manage to evade my beyond-visual-range missiles, all I have to do is fly below the horizon and I become invisible to your radar-guided missiles. Don't think about using that trick on me, because I never go anywhere without my look-down/shoot-down radar system. So, basically, all I have to do against a horde of you is to shoot down as many as possible from beyond visual range, get below the horizon so you cannot lock on to me, and mop up the rest of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoCalories Posted October 14 Author Share Posted October 14 F-14D Tomcat "Yeah, well that's great but nothing can fix a central fuselage with the durability of overcooked pasta. 4G limit? That's almost as short as your engine lifespan. Even an F-4 could outmaneuver you! And if you want BVR maybe check out an actual air superiority fighter... oh wait you can't because you'll get immediately destroyed since you're just another single use ground attack plane. You're not even fit to be called a fighter!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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