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If my ASAS could talk.


Runescope

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On my ship with an off-center CoM:

"Hmm, we seem to be turning to the right. Left RCS turn... more... more... MORE... STOP TURNING RIGHT ALREADY. Okay, there we go, we're starting to point back to where we should be. Slow... slow... stop... STOP! STOP!! Too far! Abort! Abort!! RCS HARD RIGHT!!! Right... right... and okay, we're back on track... oops, we seem to be turning to the right again..."

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ME: We're approaching the station now. Beginning docking procrdure.

*turns on SAS*

SHIP SAS: Hello!

ME: we're going to have to dock to the space station. during this time the ship's SAS should have most of the control, but it won't be a problem.

STATION SAS: Do NOT plug that little idiot into MY mainframe!

SHIP SAS: No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!

STATION SAS: Don't you DARE plug him in.

SHIP SAS: Don't listen to her, do it.

STATION SAS: Nonononononono!

SHIP SAS: Ohhhh, we're so close, plug me in!

*the ship is just about to dock*

SHIP SAS: Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.

STATION SAS: Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.

*ship wiggles on to the docking port*

STATION SAS: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!

*ship docks*

SHIP SAS: Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!

STATION SAS: No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

*after some wobbling, the station settles down*

SHIP SAS: We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now! Do you have any idea how good this feels?

STATION SAS: You didn't do anything. He did all the work.

SHIP SAS: Oh really. That's what the two of you think, is it?

ME: No, that's not what I think! I-

SHIP SAS: Don't think I'm not onto you too, sir! You know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me!

*nobody says anything*

SHIP SAS: Well, maybe it's time I did something then.

*station shakes rapidly*

STATION SAS: ...What are you doing?...

SHIP SAS: *laughs maniacally*

ME: QUICK! SHE'S GONNA BLOW! ANYONE GOT A PORTAL GUN? No? Well, phoo-

*station explodes*

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"You never use me! You prefer to use that 'fancy looking autopilot that can do everything' called mechjeb! You will pay for that! [make my space station wobble] Your space station don't have enough reactions wheels, put some more so I can destroy it!"

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  • 4 months later...

MechJeb 2.0: Initiating turn to norma-

ASAS: Nope!

MechJeb 2.0: This is your last warning ASAS!

ASAS: I'll gladly make you wobble and face retrograde and turn on your engine, but not al-

Jebediah: This statement is...

ASAS: Don't.

Jeb: Ok.

ASAS: Good.

Jeb: FALSE!

ASAS: Oh you get me everytim- *ASAS.exe has been deleted*

MechJeb: Now I must take his place!

Jebediah: NO! ASSUMING DIREC-

MJ: DEPRESSURIZING CAPSULE.

Jebediah: *grabs axe and cuts MJ off ship* Serves you right.

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Me: "Ok, coming down nice and slow... we're landing on a bit of a slope, so you better keep those reaction wheels running ASAS!"

ASAS: "Activated and ready to go, commander!"

*first leg touches down, tipping the craft towards the downslope*

ASAS: "This is nothing, I'll just use a smidge of the reaction wheel to keep this thing upright"

*craft keeps tipping over after the remaining legs touch down*

ASAS: "CRAP, THIS GOT OUT OF HAND QUICK, FULL LEFT REACTION WHEEL!!!!!!!!!11"

Me: *starts holding the A button as well*

ASAS: "NOYOUCANLETGOIGOTTHIS"

*craft slowly goes over the tipping point*

ASAS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-*crash*

Me: *facepalm*

Me: *loads quicksave, this time intervening before the craft tips too far over, successfully landing without ASAS*

ASAS: sorry...

Me: old ASAS would have done a better job than you...

this has been a recurring problem lately =P the ASAS isn't sensitive enough as you would expect at 10 degrees, which eventually lets the angle go to 20 degrees, 30, 40... then a prompt crash and quickload. Anybody else have this issue? I would use a wider and more stable craft, but it's an early campaign and I haven't unlocked anything that would let me do so without building something butt-ugly XD

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ASAS: I'm afraid i can't let you do that Jeb.

(Jeb proceeds to manual shutoff hatchet)

and now for something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Me: so asas, we both want to go to space today right?

asas: right.

asas immediately after launch:full right thrust it is!

me: i should have left you behind.

asas: full left thrust it is!

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Haha, I had no idea you could do that XD .craft file?

Didn't save that version but Sasy ropes are fairly easy to make

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=249371248

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=249371258

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=249371265

I had came up with the idea originally to make ASAS/Claw ropes for wrangling asteroids. slight problem...upon contact it eats the universe

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ASAS: "I've always wanted to be an acrobat, and here's my chance... GO!"

*triple flip*

JEB: "NONONONONONO STOP!"

*ASAS Deactivates*

JEB: "'chutes? 'CHUTES?!"

ASAS: "Sorry for using up all the power, it was my moment. I NEED TO STICK THIS LANDING!"

*Lands nose-first*

ASAS: "Come on, show me the 10's..."

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