Things that NASA never said at a press conference.

[Kermunmus]

"Well, we got bored of building and destroying rockets today so we quit the space program and opened up minecraft instead"

Fun Fact: Revert flight is actually just hiding the evidence that people died, we have stunt doubles take their place

[55delta]

"We have heard confirmation of a large asteroid on a collision course with Earth, but administration has decided that it is not our concern."

"We would like to announce our new contractor for rockets...Rick Sanchez!"

[Speadge]

the earth IS NOT flat. KSP proves it!

[kerbiloid]

The problem of space radiation is solved. Before the Martian flight starts, we'll disable radiation in Kerbalism settings.

Edited June 21, 2017 by kerbiloid

[Joseph Kerman]

We are here to proudly announce that the TRAPPIST-1 system had been moved closer to our star system. Now we have to only traverse 20 light-years less to get there.

[TheEpicSquared]

On 3/30/2017 at 11:49 PM, munlander1 said:

We have plenty of money to develop the sls in a short amount of time.

[SAS123]

"Civilians of the World! You may use our landing pad for anything that isn't higher than 2 metres."

[55delta]

"Take a can of your gasoline. Say this can of gasoline is the sun. Now, you spread a thin line of it to a ball, representing the earth. Now, the gasoline represents the sunlight, the sun particles. Here we saturate the ball with the gasoline, the sunlight. Then we put a flame to the ball. The flame will speedily travel around the earth, back along the line of gasoline to the can, or the sun itself. It will explode this source and spread to every place that gasoline, our sunlight, touches. Explode the sunlight here, gentlemen, you explode the universe. Explode the sunlight here and a chain reaction will occur direct to the sun itself and to all the planets that sunlight touches, to every planet in the universe."

"After watching War of The Worlds again, we decided to nuke the surface of Mars rather than take any chances."

[WinkAllKerb'']

NASA recruting spreadsheet:

step 1: avoid biped (mostly thoose known as "human" others biped are often cooler) contact as much as possible 
step 3: avoid mass effect medias news network
step 4 : back to step 1
step 2.02: sometime let's admit you will be forced to not follow the step 1 & 3
step 8: your eventually recruited

this document is classified

[kerbinorbiter]

Step 9: go back to step one and replace it with al human but Kristina Pimenova 

this document is still classified 

[ChrisSpace]

"We're finally getting sufficient funding."

[StupidAndy]

"we have submitted to the flat earthers, and we have admitted that the Moon landings were faked, and the earth is actually flat"

"todays Press conference is about the shape of the earth, neither us or the flat earthers are right, turns out the earth is a dodecahedron"

[kerbiloid]

"Earth is flat, but we live on its rounded bottom. That's why satellites fly."

[kerbinorbiter]

Don't click this is locked (it actually isn't )

[kerbiloid]

31 minutes ago, kerbinorbiter said:

Don't click this is locked (it actually isn't )

Caption on airlock?

Edited June 29, 2017 by kerbiloid

[WinkAllKerb'']

On 29/06/2017 at 5:53 AM, StupidAndy said:

"we have submitted to the flat earthers, and we have admitted that the Moon landings were faked, and the earth is actually flat"

"todays Press conference is about the shape of the earth, neither us or the flat earthers are right, turns out the earth is a dodecahedron"

+1 xDr 

[0111narwhalz]

On 6/28/2017 at 8:53 PM, StupidAndy said:

"todays Press conference is about the shape of the earth, neither us or the flat earthers are right, turns out the earth is a dodecahedron"

But is it rhombic or pentagonal?

[Ultimate Steve]

"Oh, yeah, some billionaire agreed to double our budget if we can go get Voyager 2 and convert it into a display. The mission should launch before 2045 if we're lucky."

[55delta]

"...decided that there are significant time and cost saving in focusing our efforts in disproving the theory of gravity..."

"The protestors decided to camp underneath the rocket and we decided not to postpone the launch."

[WinkAllKerb'']

we found that most human(being "") emotions (let's say emotive field) have an infinitesimal magnetic/electrical disturbance signature carried per a large range of other wave lenght signal

of course we can guarantee everyone that so far no human (or any other being) known is sensitive a way or another to that kind of thing,  and anyway if it was the case it would be an abomination and we will just call thoose people sick for the sack of gauss normal distribution law and make all possible effort to make them disapear from darwin tree

furthermore the most annoyin about this is that the sum of carried signal in a single ponctual location is quite a  "very massive" mess to decipher "accurately", so the previous and above

did we ever told you that "matter is full of void ?"

Edited July 10, 2017 by WinkAllKerb''

[55delta]

"This new program is to educate the public on how to avoid the dangers of black holes that they encounter in day-to-day life."

"This new paper, the result of several weeks continuous work and many liquid lunches, describes a method of accelerating faster than light,"

[kerbinorbiter]

nothing (thats what they wont say)

[goldenpeach]

"We just want to reassurance the public and say the movie " Apollo 18" is not a real depiction of the Apollo missions. In reality, the rocks looked more like some kind of flying lobster."

[cratercracker]

"Jet fuel can melt steel beams"

[kerbinorbiter]

"booster is go"