Survive That Attack!

[legoclone09]

I blame King Arthur.

The next poster is attacked by the Black Knight.

Edited September 29, 2016 by legoclone09

[0111narwhalz]

I sustain only a flesh wound.

A potato flies around the next user's room, inadvertently striking them several times and generally making a mess of things.

[legoclone09]

Luckily, most damage is to computers.

I delete the next poster's profile.

[ZentroCatson]

Who needs internet profiles when you can have real life friends 

An african swallow drops a coconut on the next users head.

Edited September 29, 2016 by ZentroCatson

[TopHeavy11]

I block it with another coconut.

 

I drown the next user in flubber.

[legoclone09]

Yummy whales!

I revoke @ZentroCatson's statement.

[TARDISES]

I'm not a target of the attack, as a result.

 

I send a probe-guided SRB in the next poster's direction. And I'm not running 1.2.

[legoclone09]

1.1.3's instability causes the game to crash.

The 'Guess Who Will Reply Next' thread stops asking for @HoloYolo and asks endlessly for the next poster.

[ZentroCatson]

I'm not affected, so I run away ignoring the explosions behind me.

I challenge the next user to a sword fight.

[kerbiloid]

I cowardly infiltrate into your castle and put a contact poison into your battle gloves.

Then I drop on the floor a neckcloth stolen from the next poster's hut.

[RocketSquid]

What hut? What neckcloth? For that matter, what neck?

I throw a rock. Critical hit.

[kerbiloid]

I roll the dice and get invulnerable saves.

Rock bounces from the head, doubles the critical hit and flies to the next poster.

[RocketSquid]

Cephalopod nature: immunity to bludgeoning damage.

Magic missile!!

[Just Jim]

45 minutes ago, RocketSquid said:

Cephalopod nature: immunity to bludgeoning damage.

Magic missile!!

Easily blocked with a shield spell...

I counterattack with a massive Kirk Chop to the neck!  

[0111narwhalz]

My neck noodles out of the way.

I initiate a metastable vacuum collapse.

[kerbiloid]

Reaching the critical density, the vacuum gets stable, then overstabilized, and the next poster gets imprisoned inside solid vacuum.

[KAL 9000]

I melt it; it is now liquid vacuum!

I know both the Ultimate Question and 42.

[cantab]

I'm born into the new, even more strange and incomprehensible, Universe.

I tinbur a mociro-tipped estet at the next poster's sobaju.

[RocketSquid]

I don't even have a sobaju...

I deploy an infinite improbability drive in an already ridiculous universe. What could go wrong?

[cantab]

Everything. Poor next poster...

[RocketSquid]

I use the experimental Murphy Reverser!!! Now everything that can go wrong will go right!!!

If I threw a rock at someone, would it go well from my perspective or their perspective?

[njmksr]

1 hour ago, RocketSquid said:

I use the experimental Murphy Reverser!!! Now everything that can go wrong will go right!!!

If I threw a rock at someone, would it go well from my perspective or their perspective?

It goes well for them.

I matrix-dodge the rock and it hits the next poster's face.

[cantab]

Ouch. I survive.

I blast 120 decibel rock music 24/7 where-ever the next poster goes.

[RocketSquid]

Good luck getting your speakers to work underwater.

I throw a waterlogged speaker system at the next poster.

[kerbiloid]

The offended speaker stands up and goes away to dry his clothes. He even forgot to speak about his system.

I cast a spell on the next speaker: trying to speak, he/she always pronounces the letter names instead of their sounds. [Keii:wai] instead of "key"

Edited October 4, 2016 by kerbiloid