Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[LABHOUSE]

Granted but self assembly is required and fuel and batteries are not included.

I wish to think of a wish quicker.

[Tery215]

Granted. The Communist Fairy decided the only way this is possible is to stuff an extra soul inside of you.

You're stuck with two half-souls constantly fighting over your body, since not even Communist Fairy can fit two souls in.

I wish that my video games played themselves when I'm not playing them.

[Anister]

Granted, but they suck at it. big time.

I wish for 64-bit support in KSP (Im looking at you Unity!)

[Tery215]

Granted. After technological advances (that nobody but Squad and Unity have), their bit system is so epic. They ONLY support 8192-bit.

I wish I knew what the benefits of 8192-bit computers were.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. But you have to use Linux to get it. Edit: Was aimed at the 64-bit request.

I wish more drivers were courteous.

[Anister]

Granted, but now the pedestrians are such big d*ckholes that Hitler looks like a saint

I wish that i could Space Boost (Check Tyranicon's Youtube Series, Space Scumbag)

[Shna_na]

Granted, but you tear a hole in space and time.

I wish we knew 100% about how many alien civilisations there are and where they are, as well as how to get to them fast.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. There are none.

I wish electric cars were more affordable.

[Tery215]

Granted. They're cool literally, but not cool enough socially. Also, electric cars are one thirtieth as efficient as the least efficient non-electric, and slower than snails.

I wish for docking ports & rope.

[IcarusBen]

Granted, but the ports have a crash resistance of 0.3m/s, and the rope is actually poorly made twine.

I wish for my wish to be horribly corrupted.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. Your wish is horribly corrupted. So it is not corrupted. So it is%$th48( [DEBUG CONSOLE: KERNEL PANIC, REBOOTING]

Oh, hello there.

I wish the present was as good as my nostalgic memories of the past.

[cziken20]

Granted. But the nostalgic memories of the past are strange and you are stuck in endless nostalgia.

I wish i had some ice cream now.

[Tery215]

Granted. It's an ice slime from Terraria, except it's cream instead of water.

You get devoured horribly.

I wish for a pet pseudoplant.

[Souper]

I have no idea what is is, i give you a pedoplant instead.

I wish for Orange Kitties everywhere.

[Guest]

Granted, But the kitties are violent.

I wish for a Space station for everyone on this forum!

[IcarusBen]

Granted. Everyone has to climb into a three-man station.

I wish for [REDACTED]

[Guest]

Hell No.

I wish for a Space Station for everyone on the forum. AND It's a 180000 man station.

[Tery215]

Granted. The space station gets picked up by the Deep Space Kraken, and is thrown into intergalactic space.

Everyone gets killed when the DSK picks them up.

I wish deep space was safer than a rock in a rock museum.

[TheDarkStar]

Hell No.

I wish for a Space Station for everyone on the forum. AND It's a 180000 man station.

Granted. Everyone now has their own 180000 man station to themselves. Unfortunately, they are on all suborbital trajectories going at 4000 m/s. At that speed, I estimate the energy output to be about 10²⁵ joules, or 10 times the amount of energy that strikes the earth each year or 100 times more than the energy of the Chicxulub Crater. Humanity is entirely wiped out.

I wish that I could fly.

EDIT: Granted. Rock museums are now the most dangerous places for rocks.

[Tery215]

Granted. You can now fly airplanes, but you're terrible at it. Your aviation license is revoked.

I wish TheDarkStar corrupted the wish I posted before his post. (corrupt this)

Edited May 26, 2014 by Tery215

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted, but it isn't granted, and the resulting paradox causes you to try and teach the Space Sphere to walk.

I wish for Crusader Kings 3.

[Guest]

Granted! It is released early and is buggy as hell.

I wish for KSP Multiplayer.

[IcarusBen]

Granted, but only you play it.

I wish for my wish to be granted.

[Tery215]

Granted. You now have one less wish.

I wish that Icarus_Vice was real.

[IcarusBen]

Granted. I'm Freddy Kruger.

I wish for somebody to click the link in by signature.