Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but it only obeys itself. It also uses its coolness to make everyone grovel at its cute little feet.

I wish for a cheese cannon.

[redwolfy]

granted it exploads throwing cheese everywhere

i wish for MANY BANNANAS

[Kerbal01]

Granted, many is 2

i wish for a army of guinea pigs to do my evil bidding.

[POTKC]

Granted. I make them turn against you and they kill you.

I wish I could live forever, with my family and friends all living forever with me.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but now "living with someone" means that you both live on the same planet. In that case, you all are as far away as possible from eachother, and you live in a closed off underground bunker, never to see eachother again.

I wish for a Tsar Cannon.

[classyjakey]

Granted, you blow your self up.

I wish for more space buddies

[redwolfy]

granted they hate ksp

i wish for really long hair

[Festivefire]

granted, but it always gets stuck on doorknobs.

i wish for campaign mode.

[Kerbal01]

Granted, but you are broke after only static testing a SRB, Also since no one cares about your minor space program, you get very depressed and commit suicide by standing in rocket exhaust.

i wish for a GSK for a pet

[Rockcoole]

Granted but... um.. what's a GSK?

I wish that other people didn't turn the volume on the TV far to loud so I am forced to hear it.

[Pigbear]

Granted, But now you turn into a spruce goose if you hear television.

I wish that nobody every wished for uncorruptable wishes.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but now YOU have to be the one to corrupt all of the wishes.

I wish that my data rate was faster.

[Trekkette]

I have only the slightest idea what that means. Soooo... Granted. But now your browsing device is too slow to use it effectively.

I wish I understood tech talk.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but it bores you to death. Well, more like it causes you to bore a hole in your head with a drill from boredom, which causes your death.

I wish for a fancy suit.

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

Granted. You were buried in one at your funeral]

I wish for a Tardis

[Trekkette]

Granted. It's inside out.

I wish to drink a reasonable amount of alcohol and not get a hangover.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but it is isopropyl alcohol, and that reasonable amount of it that you just drank is enough to kill you due to isopropyl alcohol's toxicity.

I wish for a magic wand.

[Sirrobert]

Granted. It corrupts every spell you do with it.

I wish to be able to kill mosquitos with my thoughts

[Henri von Braun]

Zap, zap, granted.

I wish for KSP NOT to lag.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, it just plays at 2-3 fps naturally for you now.

I wish for some good headphones.

[Weegee]

Granted, but they fall apart when you put them on.

I wish I could rescue my Mun crew (working on it... Jeb is too valuable to leave, obviously. :3)

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but you crash the rescue vehicle, and the next one that you send, and the next one, and the next one, and the next one, and the next one... and so on.

I wish for Weegee to have a epik battul with Malleo.

[SuperWeegee4000]

Granted. There goes another new user.

I wish for more of Danny's messing-around-in-KSP videos.

[Weegee]

Granted, but your internet goes down so you can't watch them!

I wish I could be the ONLY weegee. Muhahahaha!

[deker13]

granted. but you get lonely, so lonely you don't have someone to copy, then you commit suicide.

I wish for a disgusting cookie.