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Suspiciously Affirm Your Status As A Human


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58 minutes ago, ProtoJeb21 said:

I of course am a human. Why else would I have 2 sets of extremedies, eat cow meat,  and be able to type this up?

5/10 It's not called cow meat Steve. It's called raw beef. You get it from punching cows. 

I am a human because I am. I play Minecraft and KSP so I must be a human. =D

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9/10
Of course, you are a human. Just living in the place with bad environmental conditions. That's why you are eating iron.

 

17 hours ago, monstah said:

I type with my human hands, instead.

Whose else hands are installed in your system, except the human ones?

 

My self-check procedure returns 100% similarity with a human unit.

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This only means that you are a neural network trying to apply the empiric regularities of your training set to the whole world and getting shocked when some predictions really match.

A quick field test shows that all local attendees are recognized as quantum units of the human continuity, so-called: "humons". Like: photons, phonons, codons, etc.

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  • 1 month later...
36 minutes ago, KerbalSaver said:

I am a normal human typing with my human hands. After this, let us go to my house and cook bread and talk about our internal skeletons!

11/10

A typical speech of a post-human from future.
Augmented with a pair of mechanical hands in addition human ones.
Daily checking his internals in a multi-purpose sensor chair.
Cooking bread as a part of team building and human cosplay.

Spoiler

zardoz-bread-oven.jpg

 

I remember old human mvies. Why would AI do this?

23 minutes ago, monstah said:

Heh. This reminds me so much of this thread:

Isn't this that guy from Star Trrrrck?

Edited by kerbiloid
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5/10 Convincingly human. But probably half furry.  (For the record nothing against furries here.) 

I am very human. I memorized all of the U.S. presidents and the 2-3 scenes of zootopia. Also, I [REDACTED] Why would a human A.I. do that? 

 

 

 

Okay I think I fooled them!

Edited by ThaZeus
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4/10 that stuttering at the end sounded a little suspicious. (Yes our full species name is Homo Sapian Sapians. Homo Sapians is just a shortening.)

Ah yes the old are you an auton, robot, android or human question. I mean what is the definition of human? Homo Sapien Sapien is the species name but a human is the idea of a person that is Homo Sapien Sapien. For any definition I am human because i have the ideology of a human. but could you tell the person next to me is human or not? It is asking the same question as "If the universe is a simulation, would escaping it prove it's a simulation? Possibly but remember that it could also be part of the simulation so a robot or android could be peeked inside and seen as those two things but the intelligence of it is so human you have to wonder if a human mid was uploaded to it or not which would be near-impossible to prove. So for all explanations given, i am human. No word about it.

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3/10
Elementary attempts of a lawyer's robosecretary to realize itself.

Also, im the world is simulation, then your belonging to the humans is either stored in the database as a field value, or is dynamically calculated from your parameters similarity with "humans" cluster and is indistinct.

The understanding of his makes me think that I'm a 100% human in sense which I put into this term.

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