Hilarious scam email: Nigerian astronaut stranded in space

[razark]

52 minutes ago, RizzoTheRat said:

... surely it'd be cheaper if we didn't want him back.

Why do we need the Russians?  Blue Origin has demonstrated a reusable system for getting stuff up to space.  That should make it even cheaper.

 

I mean, sure, it's not orbit, but there's already enough space junk now.  We wouldn't want to clutter up LEO more than we need to, would we?

[Matuchkin]

We can also make this cheaper by removing the climate systems. Cargo like Justin does not need to be pressurized, we can easily put him in a depressurized cargo container.

[Atlas2342]

Obviously, the writer must have thought this through...oh wait...

----------------off-topic----------------

But the question is, are we strong enough to stop the avalanche of angry fangirls? 

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Edited May 11, 2016 by Atlas2342

[razark]

8 minutes ago, Atlas2342 said:

But the question is, are we strong enough to stop the avalanche of angry fangirls?

How many more rockets do we need?  Remember, New Shepard is reusable.

[StrandedonEarth]

On May 10, 2016 at 9:41 PM, James Kerman said:

They are going about it the wrong way, I would pay money to strand Justin Beiber in orbit.

And send Kanye West with him!

[insert_name]

13 hours ago, Atlas2342 said:

Obviously, the writer must have thought this through...oh wait...

----------------off-topic----------------

But the question is, are we strong enough to stop the avalanche of angry fangirls? 

-----------------off-topic----------------

 

Simple, accuse another waste of biomass celebrity of sabotage

[kerbiloid]

On 05.05.2016 at 8:44 AM, razark said:

On 05.05.2016 at 8:41 AM, kookoo_gr said:

14 YEARS IN SPACE?!

2016 - 1990 != 14

Is this message old, or stupid?

Twelve other years he was inside the station.

Edited May 11, 2016 by kerbiloid

[KAL 9000]

On May 10, 2016 at 9:57 AM, RizzoTheRat said:

Do you reckon it would violate the rules of Kickstarter?  Used to be between $20-40M when the Russians were sending up tourists in the 1990's, surely it'd be cheaper if we didn't want him back.

Don't forget we're not sending up any life support either!

[Matuchkin]

Needless to say, this is actually the most well-formatted scam emails I have ever seen. Usually, one would expect "Helo, i'm de hed of a bank and I vont to transfer paiment of 300000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 tons of diamonds to yu, if yu do this:".

[Guest]

17 hours ago, Matuchkin said:

Needless to say, this is actually the most well-formatted scam emails I have ever seen. Usually, one would expect "Helo, i'm de hed of a bank and I vont to transfer paiment of 300000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 tons of diamonds to yu, if yu do this:".

That's actually heavier than the Earth.

[cubinator]

19 hours ago, Matuchkin said:

300000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

300 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000

300 unvigintillion tons. 3 x 10⁶⁹ tons.

1 solar mass = 1.989 × 10²⁷ tons.

1.989 × 10²⁷ x 4 x 10⁶ = 7.95600 x 10³³ = 7 956 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 = 7.956 decillion tons, the mass of Sagittarius A*. Hm. We need to find something bigger to compare.

Estimated mass of the Milky Way: 6 x 10³⁹ tons. Still too small. Let's see:

https://people.cs.umass.edu/~immerman/stanford/universe.html

Quote

This yields a total mass of the visible matter of about 6e51 kg

Ok, so the Universe weighs 6 x 10⁴⁸ tons. Your mass of diamond is 500000000000000000000 (500 quintillion) times heavier than the ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

Well, that's if you're using metric tons. I'm not sure about the exact number in American tons.

1 hour ago, Aperture Science said:

That's actually heavier than the Earth.

It's actually a lot heavier than anything we know of. You're welcome. 

Edited June 7, 2016 by cubinator

[Raven Industries]

I'm not completely sure, but I think that might slightly lower the market value of diamonds.

[Matuchkin]

19 minutes ago, KerbalSaver said:

I'm not completely sure, but I think that might slightly lower the market value of diamonds.

Yeah, just a tid-bit. You know, make a small dent in it.

[razark]

34 minutes ago, KerbalSaver said:

I'm not completely sure, but I think that might slightly lower the market value of diamonds.

Don't worry, I'm sure De Beers would fix the price of diamonds.

[cubinator]

1 hour ago, KerbalSaver said:

I'm not completely sure, but I think that might slightly lower the market value of diamonds.

More like heedlessly swallow the whole damn thing into its event horizon instantly.

[OrbitalBuzzsaw]

Just... WUT?

[Guest]

2 hours ago, KerbalSaver said:

I'm not completely sure, but I think that might slightly lower the market value of diamonds.

In case of emergency, turn diamonds into coal.

In case of second emergency, turn the coal you made back into diamond.

Rinse, repeat.

Infinite profit, guaranteed.

[DDE]

On ‎06‎.‎05‎.‎2016 at 7:39 PM, RainDreamer said:

I imagine conspiracy theorists might fall for this and talk about how they have military space station and secret space missions

Oh, the Soviet Union did have military space stations masquerading as three of the Saluyts. And then there are the numerous secret space missions:

But Intercosmos didn't involve Soviet African allies. Vietnam, Syria, Afghanistan, East Germany, but no Africans.

In case someone needed convincing this is fake.

[Astrofox]

Somehow reminds me of several contracts I get in my Career mode...

Or the 419 scam song. That too (I go chop your dollar...).

[Tw1]

8 hours ago, Astrofox said:

Somehow reminds me of several contracts I get in my Career mode...

Or the 419 scam song. That too (I go chop your dollar...).

Someone make this a contract mod.

[Guest]

17 hours ago, Tw1 said:

Someone make this a contract mod.

I think it would be nicer to have a "Scamming" strategy.

"KSC starts a massive scamming program, ranging from messages involving deposed Kerbal princes to KSC employees making calls saying that you have a virus on your komputer. This will give the KSC a lot of money, but will make our reputation go down. A lot."

 

Wait, now that I think of it...

What if all of these scamming emails are NASA's? What if they're doing this in order to get more money because they have a small budget?

NASA SCAMMING EXPOSED

[Tw1]

12 hours ago, Aperture Science said:

What if all of these scamming emails are NASA's? What if they're doing this in order to get more money because they have a small budget?

NASA SCAMMING EXPOSED

Squad forbid, but should KSP ever include extrakerbestrials....

[kerbiloid]

21 hours ago, Tw1 said:

Squad forbid, but should KSP ever include extrakerbestrials....

And a Spore-like creatures editor, with mods.

Or NPC Kerbals with another suit, moving on their own.
Extended version: Leave your lander without safeguard — and they will either unscrew its landing leg, or joy-ride it to another planet.

Edited June 17, 2016 by kerbiloid

[Slam_Jones]

I doubt I'm the first one to say this, but this needs to be a movie.

Not a good movie either, mind you.  I'm thinking a super low-budget ScyFy original, somewhere around the quality of Sharknado.  Or those awful parody movies...

Edited June 18, 2016 by Slam_Jones

[RainDreamer]

11 hours ago, Slam_Jones said:

I doubt I'm the first one to say this, but this needs to be a movie.

Not a good movie either, mind you.  I'm thinking a ScyFy original, somewhere around the quality of Sharknado.  Or those awful parody movies...

Someone can probably make it using KSP.