Unhelpful Life Hacks

[cubinator]

Tired of all those grass snakes in the kitchen? A couple of hawks will take care of that!

[quasarrgames]

12 hours ago, Deddly said:

• Kitchen overrun by frogs? It's easy to fix! Just release a few Grass Snakes and they will take care of the problem for you.

-Tired of having grass snakes all over your house? Feel like you live in Snakes On A Plane? Simple! Just catch some owls, release them inside your house, sit back and relax.

-tired of getting ninja'd by faster posters like @cubinator? Just take some self defence classes from your local Samurai.

Edited October 3, 2016 by quasarrgames

[cubinator]

Are those hawks and owls making a mess of your house? You can get rid of them for good with just one lion!

[0111narwhalz]

20 hours ago, ZentroCatson said:

Do you have tons of annoying little flys in your kitchen? Don't worry, just catch some frogs and let magic happen!

 

15 hours ago, Deddly said:

• Kitchen overrun by frogs? It's easy to fix! Just release a few Grass Snakes and they will take care of the problem for you.

 

3 hours ago, cubinator said:

Tired of all those grass snakes in the kitchen? A couple of hawks will take care of that!

 

3 hours ago, quasarrgames said:

-Tired of having grass snakes all over your house? Feel like you live in Snakes On A Plane? Simple! Just catch some owls, release them inside your house, sit back and relax.

 

3 hours ago, cubinator said:

Are those hawks and owls making a mess of your house? You can get rid of them for good with just one lion!

Noone knows why she swallowed the fly...

[kerbiloid]

Swallowed the fly and don't know why?
Tired of grass snakes in your kitchen and don't know what to do?

Ask Mr. Noone and get a fast answer.
Hotline (555).......

[Deddly]

Scared of going into the kitchen because a lion has taken over? Here's a simple trick to make it leave and never come back. Collect some urine and excrement from another lion, and when your lion is sleeping, sneak into the kitchen and spray the urine and spread the excrement all over the cupboards and on the floor. If you can reach, put some on the ceiling as well. When the lion wakes up, he will think that another lion has claimed the territory and he will just leave. Don't forget to leave the door open!

A few flies will probably come in, but get some some frogs and they will take care of that nicely.

[kerbiloid]

If you are lion, you can skip the "collect" step.

[Rath]

Or, alternatively, you could get a herd of elephants to get rid of the lion!  It'll be "Self Defense"  But in the PMC way where you go stand by the enemies hill with helicopters and tanks and let them take the first shot!

[p1t1o]

Not enough hours in the day? Never find enough time for those essential tasks? KSP is the game for you!

[kerbiloid]

Herds of elephants are chasing lions right in your kitchen?

Tanks and helicopters are making a battle around your table?

Stop playing Jumanji and remember about your classes. You should be in your school two hours ago.

[The Raging Sandwich]

Tired of those pesky door-to-door salesmen coming to your house uninvited? There's a simple solution! Just bulldoze your house! There won't even be a house for them to go to!

[Deddly]

8 minutes ago, The Raging Sandwich said:

Tired of those pesky door-to-door salesmen coming to your house uninvited? There's a simple solution! Just bulldoze your house! There won't even be a house for them to go to!

Or, alternatively, fill your house with lions, elephants, tanks and helicopters. Nobody will want to get close.

[RocketSquid]

Ruining shirts with grease stains? Just coat the whole thing in grease so the stain won't stand out.*

 

 

*We are not liable for severe burns gained after following this advice.

[insert_name]

Sick of paying for trash collection? Use your sink's built-in garbage disposal.

[Firemetal]

Are you dirty? Jump under a lake and sit there for a few hours!

[njmksr]

Leaks leaving stains on your ceilings? No problem! They can typically be easily removed by burning them out!

[insert_name]

viruses slowing down your computer? rub a magnet against your hard drive to delete them all

[Andem]

Have a cockroach problem AND an annoying neighbor?

 

Pour powdered sugar all over his lawn, and watch a mass exodus of annoying neighbors and roaches!

[kerbiloid]

Your computer with Intel CPU is cool?

Replace it with (3-letters abbr.) and it gets warm.

[The Raging Sandwich]

Are you cold but your heating bill is too high? Just send a nuclear reactor into Jupiter, and voila! Another Sun to keep you nice and toasty.

[Deddly]

Need to lose weight and you're getting jealous of your slim neighbours? Bake some delicious cake and give it to them regularly. Problem solved.

[Ethanadams]

Getting fat from al, thise cakes? Insert some tapeworms and watch those pounds fall away.

[The Raging Sandwich]

How do you get those nasty zits off your face? It's easy! Just take the saw, and...

Edited October 5, 2016 by The Raging Sandwich

[Dman979]

Hate your face? Cut off your nose!

[kerbiloid]

Still hate your face without nose? Sew it back.