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Help with Relationships Thread

NSEP

By NSEP
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  On 12/19/2017 at 7:25 PM, Ultimate Steve said:

Question: How exactly would one ask someone out? And any date ideas? I'm stuck in a small town without a driver's license, so...

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You just ask. Here is an example of what took place for me just this week.

At my favorite Wednesday night haunt I ran into an aquaintence of mine. She has visited infrequently over the last year or so but we have a repore. That night she and I had a lot to talk about. Even at the end of the night she and I were continuing to have a conversation; standing outside in the parking lot talking. So I decided to asked if she wanted to go to a nearby diner for bite to eat and continue our conversation. It was totally impromptu but the situation seemed right to ask. The worse she could say was "No Thank You". She said yes. We had a wonderful time.

 I assume there is a level of repore between yourself and the person whom you wish to ask out. If your two are already comfortable with one another simply ask to hang out at a local coffee shop or eatery. Cliche suggestions?; perhaps, but they are the perfect venues to relax and interact. Let the situation and the temperament of the person you wish to ask out be your guide to know when to pose the question. Above all; don't be afraid to ask. The worse that can be said is "No thanks".

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NSEP

NSEP

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Okay, my crush said she already has a boyfriend and acted as if i already knew (i didn't know that by the way).

No i can finally stop worrying about the girl i like and now i can start worrying about the girls that (probably don't, but that doesn't really matter if not) like me.

There are these 2 girls that keep talking about me (i think) and they are calling me weird names. I barely know them,and its really annoying me. How do i get rid of them? Skunk spray? Baking Soda? Vinegar? Talk to them? Ignore them?

Also, there is this girl that i (luckily) know better and see as a friend-ish person, that keeps walking to me and sits next me (when possible). She has two other dude-friends so i wouldn't be surprised if she sees me as another dude-friend rather than a crush. Those other dude-friends aren't into girls however, but she knows that i am into girls...

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Piatzin

Piatzin

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Posted (edited)
  On 1/14/2018 at 7:46 PM, NSEP said:

Okay, my crush said she already has a boyfriend and acted as if i already knew

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Craaaaaaaaaapppp :(

  On 1/14/2018 at 7:46 PM, NSEP said:

No i can finally stop worrying about the girl i like and now i can start worrying about the girls that (probably don't, but that doesn't really matter if not) like me.

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Hooray?

  On 1/14/2018 at 7:46 PM, NSEP said:

There are these 2 girls that keep talking about me (i think) and they are calling me weird names. I barely know them,and its really annoying me. How do i get rid of them? Skunk spray? Baking Soda? Vinegar? Talk to them? Ignore them?

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Baking soda + vinegar. Make a rocket and launch them to Venus. Or Mars, since they'll eventually get company there. Interplanetary might be too hard though. It'd be safer to just make some sort of ICBM-type thing and send them to Australia or something.....

  On 1/14/2018 at 7:46 PM, NSEP said:

Also, there is this girl that i (luckily) know better and see as a friend-ish person, that keeps walking to me and sits next me (when possible). She has two other dude-friends so i wouldn't be surprised if she sees me as another dude-friend rather than a crush. Those other dude-friends aren't into girls however, but she knows that i am into girls...

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Try the alluring eyebrow maneuver ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(I doubt anyone will get this reference since it's from a relatively little-known book but oh well :D)

Edited by Earthlinger
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Ultimate Steve

Ultimate Steve

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  On 1/14/2018 at 7:46 PM, NSEP said:

No i can finally stop worrying about the girl i like

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  On 1/14/2018 at 9:19 PM, Earthlinger said:

Hooray?

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This might seem counterintuitive, but the exact second I knew I wouldn't ever get anywhere with my crush was also one of the most relaxing seconds of my life.

  On 1/14/2018 at 9:19 PM, Earthlinger said:

Baking soda + vinegar. Make a rocket and launch them to Venus. Or Mars, since they'll eventually get company there. Interplanetary might be too hard though. It'd be safer to just make some sort of ICBM-type thing and send them to Australia or something.....

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When I was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band I made a comic/newspaper thing about a space race between 3 teams using only vinegar and baking soda rockets. This was before I knew about "specific impulse" and how little VABS had.

Also update on my front, there's actually a girl I like who I think (65% sure?) likes me back... So now I just need to actually try to ask her out. If I can stop being a coward in that department.

 

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qzgy

qzgy

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  On 1/14/2018 at 7:46 PM, NSEP said:

Okay, my crush said she already has a boyfriend and acted as if i already knew (i didn't know that by the way).

No i can finally stop worrying about the girl i like and now i can start worrying about the girls that (probably don't, but that doesn't really matter if not) like me.

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Oh well. That solves one mystery, and you can start to move onto other things. Probably also quite relaxing as Steve said.

  On 1/14/2018 at 7:46 PM, NSEP said:

How do i get rid of them? Skunk spray? Baking Soda? Vinegar? Talk to them? Ignore them?

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Ignoring them should probably work. If not, ask whats going on and interrogate (I guess).

  On 1/14/2018 at 10:52 PM, Ultimate Steve said:

there's actually a girl I like who I think (65% sure?) likes me back... So now I just need to actually try to ask her out. If I can stop being a coward in that department.

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tenor.gif

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Ultimate Steve

Ultimate Steve

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  On 1/14/2018 at 11:36 PM, RoadRunnerAerospace said:

 

What did he say to you? Did go along the lines of "when you grow up...."

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Will you be the savior of the broken, yahta yahta yahta. He went on and on telling me to carry on.

After a while I started tuning out whenever I heard him start a sentence at 784 hertz...

 

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Piatzin

Piatzin

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  On 1/14/2018 at 11:51 PM, Vanamonde said:

How about being mindful of the fact that they are human beings with feelings, just like yours? 

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Yes

  On 1/15/2018 at 1:03 AM, NSEP said:

It was a joke btw :D

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Yeah, I wasn't seriously suggesting they go to Mars/Venus, what with the lack of appropriate conditions for human life.

And also because they're hard to get to.....

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Spaceception

Spaceception

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So, gonna keep this brief. I really want to tell my crush I like her near Valentine's day. I'm not really good with subtly steering the conversation, so saying something indirectly may not work; so I think I'll be more direct. And also say that if she doesn't feel the same, I still want to be friends. I know she's single, so there's not a problem there, but any ideas on how I should tell her? I know I should be myself though.

Also, I heard talking about our futures is good? She and I talk about what we want to do with life, and careers and have sometimes suggested that we could meet each other in person (In passing). Is that a good sign?

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Piatzin

Piatzin

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@Spaceception Greetings. This is the Professional and Totally Approved Official/Approved Psychologist Earthlinger reporting for duty. Did I mention official and approved?

Cough cough

Erm, moving on before we get to the details of my qualifications....

Telling her on Valentines day is a nice idea, and telling her directly might be the best way too, though I suppose it also depends a bit on her personality.

  On 1/19/2018 at 7:42 PM, Spaceception said:

Also, I heard talking about our futures is good? She and I talk about what we want to do with life, and careers and have sometimes suggested that we could meet each other in person (In passing). Is that a good sign?

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If you talk about meeting, then yes, that should be a good sign. It sounds like you two are close and still miss each other at times. (You used to be living in the same city/attending the same school, right?).

Telling her about your feelings directly directly though, might be a tad.....forwards....I guess. It really depends on how the conversation goes and whether there is an opening where you can tell her. Like, if the conversation gets steered towards the nostalgia of when you two were still living closer/could see each other, then you could say something like "I used to like you a lot back then.....and still do like you/miss you a lot."

But that's your decision.

Keep in mind that even if she does like you, she might not be willing to enter a long distance relationship out of fear that it will be rocky and fraught with difficulties...

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Spaceception

Spaceception

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Posted (edited)
  On 1/19/2018 at 7:53 PM, Earthlinger said:

@Spaceception Greetings. This is the Professional and Totally Approved Official/Approved Psychologist Earthlinger reporting for duty. Did I mention official and approved?

Cough cough

Erm, moving on before we get to the details of my qualifications....

Telling her on Valentines day is a nice idea, and telling her directly might be the best way too, though I suppose it also depends a bit on her personality.

If you talk about meeting, then yes, that should be a good sign. It sounds like you two are close and still miss each other at times. (You used to be living in the same city/attending the same school, right?).

Telling her about your feelings directly directly though, might be a tad.....forwards....I guess. It really depends on how the conversation goes and whether there is an opening where you can tell her. Like, if the conversation gets steered towards the nostalgia of when you two were still living closer/could see each other, then you could say something like "I used to like you a lot back then.....and still do like you/miss you a lot."

But that's your decision.

Keep in mind that even if she does like you, she might not be willing to enter a long distance relationship out of fear that it will be rocky and fraught with difficulties...

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7

Yeah, that's kinda what I was thinking too :) Well, er, she's an intro/ambivert.

We met each other over a teen writing contest, she's native to her country.

I was thinking, 'Hey, can I tell you something important' or similarly along those lines. I liked her well as a friend, and felt close to her, but over time, I realized I developed a crush on her too.

Yeah, that's what I'm worried about too. I think we could make it work... but yeah, I agree, it would likely be rocky if she and I become a thing.

Edited by Spaceception
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Piatzin

Piatzin

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Posted (edited)
  On 1/19/2018 at 8:00 PM, Spaceception said:

Well, er, she's an introvert.

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Then an outright "I LIKE YOU" probably wouldn't be the best idea....

  On 1/19/2018 at 8:00 PM, Spaceception said:

I was thinking, 'Hey, can I tell you something important' or similarly along those lines.

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That would work better.

Give her some time to think things over, too. Don't pressure her, respect her, and your friendship shouldn't suffer. If you want, you could phrase the statement as something 'minor,' in passing, and say that you just felt like you needed to mention your feelings to her. Depending on how things go, you could reveal more or move away. (Though that could be seen as a bit deceptive)

Edited by Earthlinger
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Ultimate Steve

Ultimate Steve

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Posted

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

^Excited but nervous screaming^

Picture of Mars Rover

My crush gave me one of these things yesterday (it's a model you have to cut out the pieces to and assemble, very time consuming, and tiny, infuriating to build, but that's besides the point)...!

Earlier in the week she also gave me a cookie with some jam/jelly in the middle that looked like it had been made in whatever the school calls cooking class now. Upon closer examination, you could see that the spot of jam looked like a heart... Not sure if that was intentional or not.

However, responding to this and maybe asking her out isn't my strong area by a long shot. I need to do something, but I just don't know how to do it... And also the semester changed so I only have one class with her, and that's lunch on Fridays...

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Spaceception

Spaceception

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  On 1/19/2018 at 8:06 PM, Earthlinger said:

Then an outright "I LIKE YOU" probably wouldn't be the best idea....

That would work better.

Give her some time to think things over, too. Don't pressure her, respect her, and your friendship shouldn't suffer. If you want, you could phrase the statement as something 'minor,' and say that you just felt like you needed to mention your feelings to her. Depending on how things go, you could reveal more or move away. (Though that could be seen as a bit deceptive)

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I edited, it's more intro/ambivert, but I see what you're saying.

Okay. Keep it short, and relaxed?

Mention it as something small that I like her? Or am I lost? :/

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Piatzin

Piatzin

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Posted (edited)
  On 1/19/2018 at 8:12 PM, Spaceception said:

Okay. Keep it short, and relaxed?

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Yes

  On 1/19/2018 at 8:12 PM, Spaceception said:

Mention it as something small that I like her? Or am I lost? :/

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Er, no that's not quite what I meant :D

The suggestion was to mention it in passing, and leave things up for question/further conversation. E.g, "I used to like you/still do at times" or "I feel like I should tell you that I've had a crush on you." Depending on what she says, you could reveal more, or tell her something like "it's just that I miss hanging out with you and I tend to feel nostalgic."

The latter would indirectly tell her you like her, but it would......................................................................

Um

  Reveal hidden contents

............................it would spare you from fully committing to the act of full-out confession, I guess. It wouldn't phrase your feelings as something minor, I don't think. I hope.

EDIT: I need to attend to some family business/thingy. @Ultimate Steve I'll get around to responding in an hour or two :P

EDIT 2: Quick note before I disappear completely, @Spaceception I don't want to push you/influence you into doing something rash. If something I say doesn't feel right and you don't think it would go well then don't hesitate to dismiss the idea :)

Edited by Earthlinger
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Spaceception

Spaceception

Posted
Posted
  On 1/19/2018 at 8:30 PM, Earthlinger said:

The suggestion was to mention it in passing, and leave things up for question/further conversation. E.g, "I used to like you/still do at times" or "I feel like I should tell you that I've had a crush on you." Depending on what she says, you could reveal more, or tell her something like "it's just that I miss hanging out with you sometimes and I tend to feel nostalgic."

The latter would indirectly tell her you like her, but it would......................................................................

............................it would spare you from fully committing to the act of full-out confession, I guess. It wouldn't phrase your feelings as something minor, I don't think. I hope.

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1

Alright... maybe saving it until Valentine's day would be a good thing. Idk. I definitely don't want to keep it bottled up.

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qzgy

qzgy

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  On 1/19/2018 at 8:11 PM, Ultimate Steve said:

-snip-

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2 things

A) Cool model! I tried to make a tank once... didn't work Broke something while making it. Needle nosed pliers are your friend if you do try. Also do know that it is possible (father made an apollo and pirate ship one of those.)

B) See spoiler above, but maybe gift her something back? Seems like it would be a nice gesture as she has gifted you something (presumably.)

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