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What if you rub sunscreen on a kerbal?

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Kerbals are green, and they do photosynthesis. So what if you rub sunscreen on a kerbal? is it like rubbing sunscreen on a plant?

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NSEP

NSEP

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It will feed itself slower, and the Kerbal will probably get weaker, but it won't die within a few months.

Just don't do it, killing Kerbals in an explosion is fine because they die instantly, but you don't have to make them suffer. Its cruel.

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Lisias

Lisias

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Posted (edited)

IMO Kerbals being green is not related to Chlorophyll. They would had not survived underground if that would be the case.

I think they use copper as oxigen-carriers (Hemocyanin), and the green color is the result from the blue blood colour on a yellow flesh.

Edited by Lisias
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adsii1970

adsii1970

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2 minutes ago, Dman979 said:

Oh no you don't!

Let's get back on topic, namely horrific sunscreen experiments on Kerbals.

hahahaha! Muhahahaha!

Um, yes. No, Kermen don't need sunscreen. They need Kerbolscreen.... :D

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katateochi

katateochi

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21 hours ago, Mudkip909 said:

is it like rubbing sunscreen on a plant?

You say this like it's something common-place and with a known outcome.  Maybe I've missed a craze, but I'm not sure what the results of rubbing sunscreen on plants are (I can't imagine they'd be overly enamoured with it).

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qzgy

qzgy

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6 hours ago, katateochi said:

You say this like it's something common-place and with a known outcome.  Maybe I've missed a craze, but I'm not sure what the results of rubbing sunscreen on plants are (I can't imagine they'd be overly enamoured with it).

Actually.... IIRC, given my high school bio classes, as long as the sunscreen is not opaque to visible light, just UV, the plants should be fine (from a photosynthesis perspective). The chlorophyll and other light absorbing pigments work within visible light (again, IIRC) so it should be ok. Whether the additives and stuff helping the sunscreen be the liquid jelly paste form actually harms plants IDK. Probably shouldn't though.

So.. my guess is that they'd be totally fine!

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Vexillar

Vexillar

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Hmmm... from the Kerbals' point of view...

Once, many, many years ago, when Kerbals were a simple folk who rarely ventured above ground, a few of the braver souls among them went out of their homes in the black mountains to view the strange little lights that appeared in the sky each day when the big hot light disappeared behind the mountain tops.  There was much discussion among kerbalkind as to what these lights might be.

On this particular evening, they noticed that one of the small lights was moving rapidly in a way they had not seen before.  The light became brighter and brighter, and then came a deep rumbling sound.  Some kind of object was falling from the sky trailing red flames.    The object approached at frightening speed until it suddenly sprouted some huge mushrooms, whereupon it slowed its descent and floated down to the ground on a large, flat, rectangular area near the big water a few thousand metres from the mountains.

One of the kerbals was very excited.  He thought that at last they could finally settle the question of what the lights were.  So he and a couple of the others that he had persuaded come along  set off to see what it was.

Three hours of walking through the near darkness (kerbal's big eyes and underground habit meant that there was enough light to see, even by the small lights) brought them to the place.  There, on the flat area of land, was a strange metallic object, glinting in the first rays of light from the big light that was about to rise over the sea.  The intrepid explorers went to see what this object was.  It was whitish, though blackened by the flames.  It stood on four flimsy-looking legs, and underneath were some funnel-shaped appendages.  Some distance away, the wilted remains of the mushrooms flapped languidly in the morning  breeze.

On the side of the object was a construction made of struts attached to each other in a series of rectangles.  The lead kerbal cautiously ventured over to the object and pulled at the struts.  Unexpectedly, they began to move - to expand - and extended themselves down to reach the ground.  But before our heroes could flee, a door opened in the side of the object and something - someone? - began to emerge.  Yes, it was a kerbal!  But a very large kerbal, with long legs - that meant, very impactically, that its arms reached nowhere near the floor - and an oddly spherical head with one huge shiny eye!  Fortunately, the large kerbal was emerging backwards and had not apparently seen the open-mouthed trio below.

Rooted to the spot with fear and elation, the three investigators watched as the visitor reversed itself down the assembly of struts, backed up a few steps and produced another rod from a pouch in its rather bulky clothing.  It then stuck the rod in the ground, from which unfurled a piece of fabric, on which was a design of some sort.

The visitor continued to perform some unfathomable tasks, all the while with its back to the wondering kerbals.  From time to time it made sounds - very muffled, but one of the three kerbals felt sure it was speech - very strange speech - almost like one of the widely spoken western kerbal dialects, but, but... well, backwards.

Then suddenly, the visitor paused.  It reached up, and - with a click and a slight hiss - pulled off its own head!!

All three kerbals emitted a silent scream of horror.

Still unaware of the welcoming committee, the visitor turned and began to place its head carefully down on the grassy surface.  To their combined relief, the kerbals realised that the visitor had only doffed a sort of a hat that had been attached to its clothing.  But then they saw its real face.

Pink.  Weird, indistinct pink.  With two tiny eyes, a strangely small mouth and above it an ugly lump pierced with two holes.  The kerbals screamed again.

The visitor suddenly became aware of the intrepid threesome.  "Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"! It said, in a loud, high-pitched voice, staggering backwards against the sky-object.  For what seemed an eternity, no-one breathed.

The big hot light had now risen above the sea, and its heat was gaining strength.  The alien exhaled deeply, folded its legs and lowered itself to the grass.  The kerbals gulped the warm morning air and looked at one another.  They began to talk excitedly.  The interloper snapped its head up, its hair, gathered in a bunch at the back of its head, swung sharply.  "Krot nak ooy!" it said.  The kerbals goggled.  "file tnejiletni"; this time to itself.  "Lbidercni!!". 

The visitor slowly rose to its feet, and climbed back inside the object.  Moments later it reappeared with a bag and a couple of devices that the kerbals could not identify.  It began to speak excitedly while pointing one of the devices at the scenery, the kerbals, the sky, the mountains, the object it had arrived in.

The kerbals were beginning to feel hungry.  It was past breakfast time.  Fortunately, one of them had stuffed his pockets with snacks before they set out.  He handed some to the others and they nibbled at them.  The visitor noticed the snacks and seemed interested.  The eldest wondered what these big pink kerbals might eat and gingerly held one out.  "ooy knath ho", said the visitor, carefully taking the snack.  It held the snack up to its device, then to the protuberance above its mouth.  It inhaled sharply.  Only after speaking into its other device for some moments, and peering closely at the snack, did the strange visitor cautiously taste the snack.  After a couple of tentative licks, it bit off a small corner, chewed and looked pensive. "sisylana erthref rof sith peek erteb" it said, and put the delicious morsel into a pouch.  The visitor then went back inside the sky-object and emerged a few minutes later having removed the large bulky clothing it had first been encased in, wearing now lighter and more practical clothing.  The kerbals could now see that the alien appeared to be uniformly pinkish and had one too many fingers on each of its hands.

Conversation was impossible, but the kerbals felt that there was some kind of rapport in the facial expressions - if the small, ugly, lumpy visage of the visitor could be considered a face.  The three kerbals agreed that their strange new friend seemed harmless enough.  But what was it doing here, and where did it come from?  And most of all - how had it travelled here?  They watched the newcomer going about some tasks.  Attending to various attachments on the sides of the sky-object.  Talking into one of its devices.  Pointing its other device at things.  Digging up bits of grass, soil and rock and putting them into containers and making marks on the containers with a sort of stick.

Down by the edge of the sea, the visitor was collecting more samples.  The big light was high overhead now.  The kerbals enjoyed the warmth and light.  But the alien had begun to change colour.  It was now looking distinctly red in places.  It pulled out a small bottle and squeezed some goo out onto its odd, hyperdactylous hand.  It then proceeded to smear the goo all over its exposed skin.  The eldest kerbal had a sudden realisation.  He explained to the others - this must be how the big pink kerbals feed themselves.  They absorb this alien gloop through their skin!

Seeing the kerbals watching, the alien looked up at they big light, back at the trio and offered them the bottle.  One of them took it and examined it closely.  It had many strange, alien markings on it.  "ekyl sith", the visitor said, taking back the bottle.  It again squeezed some onto its hand, and, after establishing steady eye contact and smiling broadly, began to gently spread the goo over the kerbal's face, neck and hands.  It felt cool and soothing - restful, as if the early evening had come.  The kerbal licked the back of his hand.  Disgusting!!  No wonder they didn't put it in their mouths!

The alien went to put the bottle back in a pocket, but the kerbal held out his hands and tried to convey an imploring expression.  The visitor frowned, thought for a moment, and handed him the bottle.  "ti tnow ooy fi";  "retho-na vah eye".

-----

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