Kerbal Death Note

[ColdJ]

Beta Kerman's phasing technology outfit failed just as a player was placing a part on the floor. Instead of walking right through it he was crushed.

 

Maria Kerman, Test Pilot.

[Watermel00n]

Maria Kerman was flying a test airliner when she tried to lower the gear. However she hit the thurst reversers instead, causing the plane to stall and crash, killing her.

 

Aeiou Kerman - Kerbal Konstructs. (It's a mod, search it up.)

[ColdJ]

Aeiou Kerman forgot the golden rule of not standing where you are spawning in a static and got launched violently in to space to drift for eons until they finally fell into Kerbol.

 

Jason Kerbal: Amnesiac Secret agent.

[Singhnaut]

13 hours ago, ColdJ said:

Aeiou Kerman forgot the golden rule of not standing where you are spawning in a static and got launched violently in to space to drift for eons until they finally fell into Kerbol.

 

Jason Kerbal: Amnesiac Secret agent.

Jason Kerbal was Kirrim Kerman's rival. One day, he forgot that, and reached to hug Kirrim. Kirrim was hiding a pistol in his coat and shot Jason.

Summer Kerman: Seasonal depression.

[ColdJ]

Summer Kerman once removed a large tree from their property, this left a large hole, Summer filled in the hole and forgot about it. As the seasons passed, rain soaking and ground drying slowly eroded the dirt from underneath, leaving a thin crust. One day Summer walked over the spot and the ground gave way. Summer fell into this seasonal depression and died.

 

Clive Kerman: Expecting the unexpected.

[Rutabaga22]

51 minutes ago, ColdJ said:

Clive Kerman: Expecting the unexpected.

There were 2 groups within the ksc, the expected and the unexpected. Clive was part of the expected and no one was surprised when he entered the room. One day he was really expecting the unexpected. He was nervous when he walked around corners, he was scared when the VAB opened, he even sabotaged an Ike bound rocket so the abort button and stage button were switched to stop the unexpected from landing there. Later that day he was on the pad ready to launch, excited for a nice ride to Gilly, but then when he launched the rocket shook, then it rattled, he was so scared that the unexpected had sabotaged him that he triggered the new experimental launch escape system. The SRBs fired throwing him at 75 Gs turning the IVA camera view to a fine green mist.

Matt kerman - Lithobraking SSTO 

[Maria Sirona]

Matt had made careful calculations for his badS lithobraking maneuver near the Duba base, which would blow up everything except the cockpit. Unfortunately, those calculations were made with the assumption that the fuel tanks were full, but during the flight Matt had used over half of the SSTO' fuel. The whole thing 'sploded

 

Johanssen Kerman: investigator

[Singhnaut]

9 hours ago, Maria Sirona said:

Matt had made careful calculations for his badS lithobraking maneuver near the Duba base, which would blow up everything except the cockpit. Unfortunately, those calculations were made with the assumption that the fuel tanks were full, but during the flight Matt had used over half of the SSTO' fuel. The whole thing 'sploded

 

Johanssen Kerman: investigator

Johanssen Kerman was a detective but found himself in the first horror movie made by AI. Because of this, bad dialogue and acting caused his wife to die and he tripped and died from 
"drunkness"

Maverick Kerman: Ku-57 did a Cobra maneuver. 

[Catto]

24 minutes ago, Singhnaut said:

Johanssen Kerman was a detective but found himself in the first horror movie made by AI. Because of this, bad dialogue and acting caused his wife to die and he tripped and died from 
"drunkness"

Maverick Kerman: Ku-57 did a Cobra maneuver. 

Maverick realized he had no idea what he was doing, panicked, and hit the self destruct button.

Catto: Explorer of Kerbin

Edited June 21, 2022 by Catto

[Singhnaut]

Just now, Catto said:

Maverick realized he had no idea what he was doing, panicked, and hit the self destruct button.

Catto: Explorer of Kerbin

Catto was an explorer of Kerbin. They were very famous, but often made jokes about Coin Kermun Kerman and Paperplanes. Coin Kermun and the Paperplanes charged him down.

Goddard Kerman: Liquid rocket fail

[ColdJ]

Goddard Kerman was very poor at reading and accidently filled his rocket with liquid fail rather than liquid fuel. When he attempted take off, nothing happened. So he went out through the hatch. Unfortunately his rocket was so finely balanced that his weight on the side caused the rocket to start to tip over. First he fell to the ground, breaking everything, then the rocket fell and crushed him to death.

 

Sally Kerman: Searching for Sunshine.

[Watermel00n]

Sally Kerman went to a cavernous planet orbiting a pulsar. When she was exploring its caves, she bumped her head and lost her memory. Thinking she was on kerbin, she explored the cave for a way out. But when she found the exit, she took off her helmet to take a deep breath, but was instantly vaporized due to radiation.

 

Ioioio Kerman - Steam power

[Maria Sirona]

Ioioio was a big fan of steam-powered vehicles. When hearing about a steam power exhibition, with real steam-powered vehicles, Ioioio was of course elated. While there, Ioioio couldn't resist the urge to climb on top of a steam locomotive when presented with the chance. A puff of really hot hot steam totally fried Ioioio. Oof.

 

!utfk!g Kerman - spontaneous combustion

[Rutabaga22]

!uftk!g Kerman was sitting in his command module drinking the "Engineer lemonade" a new drink he found left in the materials bay. Later he had to test the oxidizer tanks in the back of the spacecraft. He found a leak, but accidentally inhaled some of the oxidizer. In the span of 2 seconds !utfk!g realized what "Engineer lemonade" was as he combusted from the inside out.

 

Icarus kerman - solar antics 

Edited June 22, 2022 by Rutabaga22

[Watermel00n]

Icarus Kerman was on Moho when he ran out of Kerbol-Baked Kerfish, his favourite snack! This snack was cooked in a special factory where a giant magnifying glass cooked each fish to perfection. Icarus tried it in his pod, causing the pod to overheat, cooking Icarus.

 

Fiiiiii Kerman - Building underground secret bases in his backyard.

[ColdJ]

Fiiiiii Kerman was obsessed with digging underground tunnels in his backyard on Kerbin. He kept digging further and further down till suddenly he broke through to a grey void of nothingness, he fell in and fell/floated away from anything solid. At some point, which may have been the centre of Kerbin, he started to vibrate violently until suddenly he was somehow in the corona of Kerbol. He enjoyed the view for a microsecond before exploding into a puff of spores that also got burnt away.

 

Jeeves Kerman, Jeb's Butler.

[Singhnaut]

Just now, ColdJ said:

Fiiiiii Kerman was obsessed with digging underground tunnels in his backyard on Kerbin. He kept digging further and further down till suddenly he broke through to a grey void of nothingness, he fell in and fell/floated away from anything solid. At some point, which may have been the centre of Kerbin, he started to vibrate violently until suddenly he was somehow in the corona of Kerbol. He enjoyed the view for a microsecond before exploding into a puff of spores that also got burnt away.

 

Jeeves Kerman, Jeb's Butler.

Jeeves Kerman once saved Jeb from getting scammed from a lady who pretended to be his girlfriend (remember that?). The lady convinced Jeb that Jeeves was the scammer, and Jeb pushed Jeeves away, unknowingle causing his head to get stuck in a self-sealing wine bottle, which he later drowned in.

Hubble Kerman: A spider was on his telescope lens

[Watermel00n]

Hubble Kerman was a janitor at Mission Control. One night, he was stargazing on the roof of Mission Control when a spider crawled on his telescope lens. He was so shocked that he fell off the roof and was promptly crushed by a unmanned stratolauncher while landing.

 

Poor Kerman - Being rich

[Singhnaut]

1 hour ago, Watermel00n said:

Hubble Kerman was a janitor at Mission Control. One night, he was stargazing on the roof of Mission Control when a spider crawled on his telescope lens. He was so shocked that he fell off the roof and was promptly crushed by a unmanned stratolauncher while landing.

 

Poor Kerman - Being rich

Poor Kerman pretended to be poor for attention. One day, he decided to jump in a trash can because he was stupid. Unknowingly, it was an old lander can, and he was shot into the Mun.

Skout Kerman: learning that Spy Kerman is his father

[Rutabaga22]

Skout kerman was always a happy kerbal, he had been to ike and back, done a year on the joolian prison station, everything! Legends say that he even fought the kraken on pol! But, one thing he never did was meet his father. Over the years he had many father-like mentors, one was even the great Jebediah! One day he "made a visit" to the prsion colony over the mohole(they use it for executions).  He was sitting in the courtyard when he saw a kerbal who looked VERY similar to him. Two different sized eyes, a short smudge looking haircut, green skin, even the same massive grin. He walked up to the guy and introduced himself. "Hi! I'm skout Kerman!"

The guy replied "Hello skout! I am spy!"

The two talked for hours until spy mentioned his mother's name. A miss Mom Kerman. Then Skout realized... Spy was his father! He then asked "Did you ever have a son?"

Spy replied, "Yes, his name was-"

Spy stared into space. He began to talk, "What planet were you born on?"

"I-I'm from the mining colonies on ike." Skout told him. 

"Y-your my son, skout!" Spy said with a look of wonder on his face.

They spent the rest of the day together, catching up. Then Spy asked a strange question.  "Do you mind taking my number?'

Skout and spy switch number tags and continued on with their day.  The next morning the guards opened his cell. "Spy, it's time for your execution!"

"N-No! you've got the wrong guy!" Skout said knowing what his father had done.

"Go on! You can't lie to us!" The guard yelled.

An hour later Skout sat over the mohole, wondering what mistakes he had made, why he had been so stupid. He thought about his kids, and his wife. He then remembered, non of that mattered. He realized that his only tru need in life, were snacks. The guards let go and he plummeted down the mohole, then he turned on his EVA pack. The propellant pushed him up, the guard were surprised as he was. "That worked!" He thought to himself as he touch the bottom. Then he shook, then twisted, then he stretched, then puff! He turned into a dust cloud. The kraken had finally vanquished him. 

 

Beardy kerman - Playing with weapons

Edited June 23, 2022 by Rutabaga22

[Singhnaut]

Just now, Rutabaga22 said:

Skout kerman was always a happy kerbal, he had been to ike and back, done a year on the joolian prison station, everything! Legends say that he even fought the kraken on pol! But, one thing he never did was meet his father. Over the years he had many father-like mentors, one was even the great Jebediah! One day he "made a visit" to the prsion colony over the mohole(they use it for executions).  He was sitting in the courtyard when he saw a kerbal who looked VERY similar to him. Two different sized eyes, a short smudge looking haircut, green skin, even the same massive grin. He walked up to the guy and introduced himself. "Hi! I'm skout Kerman!"

The guy replied "Hello skout! I am spy!"

The two talked for hours until spy mentioned his mother's name. A miss Mom Kerman. Then Skout realized... Spy was his father! He then asked "Did you ever have a son?"

Spy replied, "Yes, his name was-"

Spy stared into space. He began to talk, "What planet were you born on?"

"I-I'm from the mining colonies on ike." Skout told him. 

"Y-your my son, skout!" Spy said with a look of wonder on his face.

They spent the rest of the day together, catching up. Then Spy asked a strange question.  "Do you mind taking my number?'

Skout and spy switch number tags and continued on with their day.  The next morning the guards opened his cell. "Spy, it's time for your execution!"

"N-No! you've got the wrong guy!" Skout said knowing what his father had done.

"Go on! You can't lie to us!" The guard yelled.

An hour later Skout sat over the mohole, wondering what mistakes he had made, why he had been so stupid. He thought about his kids, and his wife. He then remembered, non of that mattered. He realized that his only tru need in life, were snacks. The guards let go and he plummeted down the mohole, then he turned on his EVA pack. The propellant pushed him up, the guard were surprised as he was. "That worked!" He thought to himself as he touch the bottom. Then he shook, then twisted, then he stretched, then puff! He turned into a dust cloud. The kraken had finally vanquished him. 

I feel bad, but I will continue the story since you didn't give an answer. One day, a certain somebody named thompberry kerman found him. He took his brain and put it in another probe core. Together, they found spy kerman and forced him to watch eternity of Kraken Komedy.

Nail Kerman: Someone thought he was screw kerman

[Rutabaga22]

Just now, Singhnaut said:

I feel bad, but I will continue the story since you didn't give an answer. One day, a certain somebody named thompberry kerman found him. He took his brain and put it in another probe core. Together, they found spy kerman and forced him to watch eternity of Kraken Komedy.

Nail Kerman: Someone thought he was screw kerman

I put a name in

 

Just now, Singhnaut said:

I feel bad, but I will continue the story since you didn't give an answer. One day, a certain somebody named thompberry kerman found him. He took his brain and put it in another probe core. Together, they found spy kerman and forced him to watch eternity of Kraken Komedy.

Nail Kerman: Someone thought he was screw kerman

Wdym, I did finish it, he was killed by the kraken

 

[Singhnaut]

4 minutes ago, Rutabaga22 said:

I put a name in

 

Wdym, I did finish it, he was killed by the kraken

 

You never said who would die next and from what

[Rutabaga22]

Just now, Singhnaut said:

You never said who would die next and from what

I realized an I added a name! 

You must not have read far enough! 

Beardy kerman - Playing with weapons!

[Singhnaut]

Just now, Rutabaga22 said:

I realized an I added a name! 

You must not have read far enough! 

Beardy kerman - Playing with weapons!

oh, sorry. Beardy Kerman was a Kerbal spy on a Darbel ship. One day, a darbel noticed that when he walked, he kept his hand close to his holster. Turns out Beardy pocketed experimental tech.  When the Darbels caught him, he fired the weapon, but it was so futuristic looking that he actually was pointing it at himself. His body was never found at the end of the Great Kerbal-Darbel war.

Nail Kerman: Someone thought he was Screw Kerman