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Things that NASA never said at a press conference.


FlamedSteak

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"No, no one has stolen our rocket, we...just...have...a surprise guest pilot, that's all."

"So we were having a big party, getting drunk and while watching A Trip to The Moon and we asked why we didn't do that ourselves?"

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"we were looking on the Kerbal Space Program forums and we saw a thread named "things NASA never said at a press conference" and there was a TON of things we never said, so we will say them all! this is going to be a LOOOOOONG press conference, and no escaping this time Fil!"

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Reporter: "Well you see, what we are searching for in this mission is an answer to a long-debated question on exactly how life on Earth formed-"

*worker sprints in and grabs microphone*

"HELP, WE HAVE TO WORK 168 HOURS A WEEK AND IF YOU MISS TEN MINUTES YOU ARE EATEN ALIV-"

*worker is dragged away, screaming*

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"So, the night before the launch, all the astronauts went to a MASSIVE party. None of them showed up for the launch, so we'll just pick some people we don't like and accidentally make sure that we don;t have enough fuel. No, this doesn't violate any laws or legal things!"

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Contracts

"Every once in a while astronauts just appear in space without a rocket, just a command pod, for no apparent reason, and we have to rescue them all the time!"

"That recovery of the empty flea booster in orbit was worth the money!"

"We would like you to move this satellite, no we do not care that it is out of fuel"

"We would like you to build a massive base here, here, here, oh and here, hmmm maybe here too..."

"We test our engines by putting them on the launchpad and pressing space. If it turns on it is safe."

"Please go to this random spot on Kerbin Earth and gather temperature data. We are a space program after all."

Other Stuff

"Yes, we use SSTO's all the time!"

"We now mine Mun Moon rock to make anything we want out of it!"

"BTW we have a 2nd moon, don't any of you have telescopes!?"

"One of our astronauts phased through the ground while walking to the rocket and decided to become a rocket himself. He is now 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999KM away from the sun and scientific readings suggest that everything orbits in shaking squares now.

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