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Things that NASA never said at a press conference.


FlamedSteak

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Anchor: "And now, we look at what's happening in Miami. On to you, Brad..."

Brad: "The MARS-1 mission, launched just over a week ago, is now being sent back to Earth. The communication engineers tell us that one of the crew members allegedly forgot to go to the washroom before liftoff, and that no convenient bushes or ditches were found on the way to the Red Planet. In a speech to the public, NASA Administrator Charles Bolden stated 'dammit, Fred'. All in all, this affair is moot, so I'll contact you back when I get more info. Thanks, CNN".

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Astronaut at Q&A session: "The ISS is actually quite a place to be, but after a few months you really do get bored. So we have this game with our NASA boys on the ground: it's like a riddle game, except up to a score of ten. If they lose, NASA has to ask for money from the U.S. Government. If we lose, our water filtration system is turned off for a month. It's very exciting".

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A public conference at NASA...

Reporter: "One final question: what happened to the International Space Station-"

Bolden: "It blew up. Oh well, s_ happens. Any other questions?"

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On ‎5‎/‎25‎/‎2017 at 9:04 PM, kerbiloid said:

"Our attempt to find an electron in the Earth orbit failed."

Out of likes, so you get a quote.

"Our launch was delayed twelve hours because during the daytime our computers are too laggy to perform the launch."

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"The earth is flat, the government lies, we never landed on the "moon" (it doesn't exist), and your entire life is a simulation of reality. Thank you."

Wait that's actually true? :P *Triggered flat earthers make profiles and join forum to "correct" us

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"We want to make it clear that no astronauts were lost when the astronaut complex exploded today. They had all resigned yesterday."

"We are not cloning our astronauts. It's just that today's sudden explosion of a manned rocket was actually an elaborate simulation and the pilot will be back on the roster in a few hours."

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"Jeb died, again, but Val, Bill, and Bob were pretty happy about it, so they could steal the attention."

"The astronauts now have SAS for their head due to the high centre of mass, which makes the little green guys tip over."

"The Earth is not flat. It's Kerbin shaped."

"The mun landing was not a hoax."

Edited by SpaceEnthusiast23
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"For the final part of the solar probe's mission, it will use all remaining fuel to increase speed as much as possible. Then it will attempt a 'slingshot maneuver' that we recall seeing once in a movie.

"In the interests of international co-operation and because of a massive budget surplus, we have decided to build our own copy of the N1 design..."

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