Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[NewtSoup]

Granted:  Whatever you turn it into is made of the same cardboard as the box and it goes "Boink" every 5 seconds, continuously.

I wish for a Star Trek Runabout Class Starship and enough fuel to power it for 100 years.

[TheKSPBeginner]

Granted, but you're still Kerbal Soup from making your account.

I wish for Jeb to not die.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. Jeb is undead.

I wish for Kerbal ghosts around KSP.

[Confused Scientist]

Your wish is granted... but then the Ghostbusters show up and accidentally cause a spacecraft with the Origonal Four onboard to go diving into mission control. They're dead, but you must go to space at any cost, so it's no big deal, right? Well... you're bankrupt, so you can't rebuild it, and since you have no active contracts, no active kerbals on the roster and no probe cores, you can't make any money. Your space program is dead. Its ghost roams the KSC.

[Spacetraindriver]

Granted. Nothing happened because you didn't wish.

I wish school didn't start tomorrow.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You get a call. The school starts today afternoon.

I wish Cersei had a dragon, too.

[Xemina]

Granted, but the dragon gets killed by a volcano in Pompeii.

I wish I could go to space.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You begin building stairs.

I wish Pathologic _{aka More.Utopia.} remake would be released soon.

Edited August 17, 2017 by kerbiloid

[Guest]

Granted. It does, but you get hit by a car and die before you can see it

i wish for a pet unicorn 

[Kermunmus]

Granted, but as soon as it comes a car runs it over

I wish homework would do itself, without me working, PROPERLY (no saying it does a horrible job, now)

[kerbiloid]

Granted. Your homework does itself, so now have a lot of time for your home work duties.

I wish FTP servers were faster.

[StupidAndy]

granted, they're so fast that you can do anything immediately, and eventually the FTP servers outpace you, and you run out of ideas, get discouraged and give up

I wish I knew why I clicked on this thread

[Xemina]

Granted you now know you have no life and have become a machine.

I wish I could go outside at 1AM

[ChrisSpace]

Granted. It's cold, you're tired and there's nothing to do.

 

I wish I could see into and travel through 4-dimensional space.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You can.
Nobody have seen you since then.

I wish they were using UTF-8 since the very beginning, with no other code systems.

[Bubbadevlin]

Granted. You now however live in the 1800s.

I wish summer wasnt so humid.. 

[Tux1]

Granted. Now you need to go out in a winter coat so you don't freeze to death.

I wish my computers drivers would fix themself.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. They do. As well s your computers janitors, porters, guards,
(Your mobile data center is a thing!)

I wish I hadn't limited my yesterday download speed and forgotten to release it

[AlamoVampire]

On 8/20/2017 at 10:50 PM, kerbiloid said:

<snip>

I wish I hadn't limited my yesterday download speed and forgotten to release it

Granted, but, you can only make downloads via a 56k dial up system. Good thing now for you as you cant limit it any more.

 

I wish I was a more capable SSTO designer.

 

op 23:42:30

[Tux1]

Granted. All you're SSTO's are rocketships though, and can only carry a 1 kg payload.

I wish I understood all the Minecraft mods.

[John Cochran]

Granted. You're now officially insane.

I wish for Jeb to stop stowing away on all my new designs.

[Xorth Tanovar]

Granted. He now stows away on EVERYONE'S designs.

I wish for a nice NY Strip Steak, medium-cooked with a baked potato.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You happily get it.

Spoiler

But it's made of meat with mirrored chirality, and is inedible for you.

 

I wish there were more vanadium in Venusian core.

[Xorth Tanovar]

Granted. Good luck in getting to it....

 

I desperately need a Gin & Tonic.

[John Cochran]

Granted, you're now the proud owner of a cotton gin that's been tuned to have a frequency of  261.63 Hz when operated.

I wish for a faster laptop computer.