Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[ShachonianX]

Granted. You're the only one who dies.

I wish for BIG SPACESHIPS OF DOOOOOOM.

[Designer225]

Granted. You had the model of SPACESHIP OF DOOM. (It's a model, it does NOT do anything!)

Granted, it's Wikipedia article is now a stub.

I wish that worms were made out of gummy substances.

I sort of expected that. And worms made out of gummy substances? Now the worms should be classified as protists...

I wish that the universe explodes.

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted, but you are the only one who is destined to meet your antimatter counterpart, thus annihilating both of you and everything within a 2000-km radius.

I wish for implosion.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted. The universe suddenly undergoes the "Big Crunch".

I wish that I was the king of the kerbals.

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted, but you have been cursed to become an inefective, charmless, and powerless leader. Because of it, you have been overthrown by the kerbals in a massive uprising they have orchestrated after just a year of assuming into throne. They have then given the crown back to Jebediah the Thrillmaster instead, making him the king of kerbals once more.

I wish for pie.

[satcharna]

Granted, but it's a cucumber pie.

I wish for croissants.

[AeroPelican]

You burn your hands when you pick it up.

I wish for everyone to read homestuck

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted. Now everyone is stuck in their homes, and you are to blame why.

I wish for a kilogram of saffron.

[satcharna]

Granted, but it's spoiled.

I wish for skill.

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted. You're now skilled in failing at life.

I wish for an ability to fly for extended time.

[chobit-389]

Granted, but the flight pill wears off over a swimming pool and you comically fall into it

I wish for more crown polish

[satcharna]

Granted, but someone steals your crown.

I wish for a hamburger.

[tstehler1]

Granted, but the meat is rancid and the bun is moldy.

I wish for a large, terminator-esque, robotic version of Jeb.

[Flixxbeatz]

Granted, but you will be its first target to be eliminated.

I wish for a space center on my backyard.

[satcharna]

Granted, but your first launch is a misfire, and your house is destroyed.

I wish for some good hard sci-fi.

[Rage097]

Granted. The movie is the first one to use correct orbtal mechanics in this decade as well as being entirely feasable to occur.(i.e. no sound in vaccum, ect.) However, it is bashed by movie-goers and critics for being "Unrealistic" and is hated on the level of twilight by the internet. Because you find this movie enjoyable, you are written off as a lunatic for life.

I wish to be able to ignore pain.

[POTKC]

Granted. You get cut in half, and, as you ignore the pain and do not go to a hospital, die of blood loss.

I wish I lived in New York.

[(An Original Name)]

Granted, but you get one of those really tiny Manhattan apartments.

I wish that KSP worked with virtual reality stuff. (Like the Oculus Rift)

[Rage097]

Granted. My god, it's full of stars!

I wish for more meta jokes.

[SLAMS]

Granted, but the resulting jokes are so Meta they exceed all know levels of Cuil theory and can only be understood by hamburgers.

I wish I had a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster...

[LeonG17]

Granted, you die from the taste.

I wish to be able to defeat chobit's Lathye defences.

[SLAMS]

Granted, you forget why you wanted to and your gender is reversed for no apparent reason.

I wish I hadn't murdered that family for a Klondike bar.

[POTKC]

Granted. They murdered you instead.

I wish I could mind-read.

[SLAMS]

Granted, you are now a mind reading badger.

I wish Cthulhu and Godzilla were real and fighting each other.

[satcharna]

Granted. The battle is over far too rapidly however, as Cthulhu is powerful beyond our wildest imagination, and Godzilla is just a giant lizard.

I wish pacman -Syu wouldn't crash in the middle of updating Gnome for no reason whatsoever.