Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[adsii1970]

Granted, but you cause your video card to overheat and catch fire, destroying your motherboard in the process.

I wish my coffee cup auto-filled itself.

[Xorth Tanovar]

Granted, but you can't turn it off....ever. The room fills with coffee, then your house, soon the town is flooded....

 

I wish for whirled peas.

[TopHeavy11]

Granted, but your allergic.

 

I wish for you to get a million dollars (it's my wish, so you HAVE to turn my wishes asunder! >:D)

[kerbiloid]

Granted. A court addicts you to pay one million dollars. Thanks.

I wish I had my own international airport.

[StupidAndy]

granted, but its right next to a superior Airport, that has more area, more landing strips, more fuel for less money, and the total amount of money you have to pay to land is less

I wish I had a billion dollars to donate to the next posters career mode space program

[kerbiloid]

Not granted, as such money inflation would be terrible even for a game.

I wish KSP had dungeons and dragons.

 

[ThaZeus]

Granted but the D20 is entirely covered with 1s 

 

I wish to stop being obsessed with zootopia.Seriously, please help me.

 

[kerbiloid]

Granted. Distemper comes, Zootopia gets devastated, you're taken to the quarantine.
A month later you get out with one wish: to get away as far as you can.

I wish Zootopia to stop ignoring fleas, acarids and ascarides. This is a vertebral chauvinism. Zootopoia would be full of them.

[cubinator]

Granted, but cephalopods are still underrepresented and create a superweapon to destroy the entire city.

I wish I could create time at will.

[0111narwhalz]

Granted, but the ability requires lots and lots of mass, so you have to live with your mom to use it.

()

I wish for moar lens.

[Kosmonaut]

Granted. You get all of the lens from all universes and worldlines (They are separate things)

I wish for a fish

Edited January 4, 2017 by Kosmonaut

[SAS123]

Granted but So long, and thanks for all the fish. *takes fish and leaves earth's atmosphere*

I wish for a Coca-Cola that the next poster cannot say kills me because death is boring.

Edited January 5, 2017 by SAS123

[0111narwhalz]

The soda, rather than killing you, imbues you with eternal life. And insomnia. Also immobility.

I wish for the return of either Macey Dean or Josh Parnell.

[cubinator]

Granted, you get one half of each, stitched together by Doctor Moreau.

I wish for a pun.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You buy a car and get pwned.

I wish for kishmish.

[Samniss Arandeen]

Granted. Merry kishmish, @kerbiloid!

I wish I were chibi.

[Kosmonaut]

Granted. You become a Chibi. Except you are always a Chibi, on the most successful show ever, in all of the  universes and worldlines, and you are never allowed to stop.

[TopHeavy11]

404: Corruptible wish not found.

 

I wish that everyone would remember to make corruptible wishes!

[Kosmonaut]

Granted. Every waking moment of your life, everyone around you is making corruptible wishes

I wish that I could remember to make corruptible wishes

[TopHeavy11]

Granted, but not right now.

 

Oops, I forgot my wish!

[kerbiloid]

(And the next poster's wish reverts to you.)

[Program Kerbal Space]

I wish to OWN THE INTERNET! And I wish for a strong wifi signal.

[Slam_Jones]

Granted.  You wi-fi signal is incredibly strong, but also unprotected, and as such the entire neighborhood is using it, constantly, all the time.  Consequently, it's very slow for everyone using it.

I wish I had a battery that would never run out of charge.

[cantab]

Granted. It's currently powering the Oxford Electric Bell and that's about the only thing it's capable of providing the current to run.

I wish my finger would heal.

[ChrisSpace]

Granted, but it takes hours to heal even a small scratch, and you have to press your finger on the wounded area the entire time.

 

I wish I didn't have any more Writer's Bloc.