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Whirligig Girl

By Whirligig Girl
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Deadpangod3

Deadpangod3

Posted
Posted (edited)

Back story:

friend is streaming prison Architech (Fleet :P)

Fleet: NOOO!! their digging tunnels through the toilets to escape!!

Me: wait, wat? how the hell do you dig through a TOILET?!

Fleet: I don't know.

Me: How do they fit down the pipes? Like, are they kerbals or something?

Fleet: *laughs*

Me: in any case, its gotta be a really "Crappy" way to escape. *Kappa*

badum tsshhhh

ill see myself out now.

(this isnt exactly how it went but i cant remember the details)

Edited by Deadpangod3
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Thomas988

Thomas988

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Posted

A hilarious Roblox story with my best friend:

Me and my friend are raiding a French reenactment group's fort all on our own. The only weapon we're given is a musket with a bayonette.

As the French rush forward, I target a guy hiding way on the other side of the map behind a wall. I take aim and manage to blow his head off.

I scream to my friend as we witnessed my epic kill, "I thought these were the most inaccurate weapons in history!"

He replies, "They are!"

Anyone? Anyone? It was funnier in person, I swear!

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InterCity

InterCity

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Posted

You want bad jokes? I have a collection of those:

A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

The bartender says: For you, free of charge.

For a pessimist, the glass is half empty.

For an optimist, the glass is half full.

For an engineer, it's twice the size required.

Q: If you crash a dive bomber, what's the last thing that flies through your head?

A: Your rudder.

Q: What's the purpose of a propeller in a plane?

A: To keep pilot cool. When it stop spinning, the pilot will start sweating...

Q: Do you know what NASA means?

A: Need Another Seven Astronauts.

Don't envy the birds. You can buy a plane and fly - and you most likely won't get sucked into a jet engine.

Aviatic definitions:

Glide range - the distance to the nearest equipped airport minus 10 miles.

Engine failure - the event when your fuel tanks get mysteriously filled with air.

Artificial horizon - the instrument that makes you fly in the ground when you fly in goo.

Goo - A mist so dense (in cockpit or outside) that makes it impossible to see the runway until you are flying over it.

Dead Reckoning - Reckon correctly or you'll be dead.

Cone of uncertainty - an area about 20 miles from the runway ILS beacon that is not on any map.

ILS - The system that crashes the plane instead of you!

Death - Nature's way of telling you "Watch your airspeed."

ASL - The reason why your altimeter reads "1600" when you crash into that mountain.

Throttle - The black stick that needs to be always as far from you as possible.

Good landing - The landing you can walk away from.

Great landing - the landing after which you can reuse the aircraft.

Stall - When you want to go up so badly that you go down.

747 - The big fat scary thing behind you in the landing queue.

Runway - a strip of tarmac that is trying to dodge you as you approach.

I Can come with more, but I'd need a TLDR if I did.

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sumghai

sumghai

Posted
Posted

Here's one that partially inspired the name of a KSP add-on I authored:

On a cruise to Alaska, I saw my very first glacier in the magnificent Inside Passage. Excitedly, I asked the ship's officer what it was called.

"It's some dumb glacier," he replied.

Disappointed by his attitude, I bought a map to figure it out myself. I spotted our location and found the name of the ice mass.

It was called, just as he'd said, "Sumdum Glacier."

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Whirligig Girl

Whirligig Girl

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Posted (edited)
You want bad jokes? I have a collection of those:

A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

The bartender says: For you, free of charge.

For a pessimist, the glass is half empty.

For an optimist, the glass is half full.

For an engineer, it's twice the size required.

Q: If you crash a dive bomber, what's the last thing that flies through your head?

A: Your rudder.

Q: What's the purpose of a propeller in a plane?

A: To keep pilot cool. When it stop spinning, the pilot will start sweating...

Q: Do you know what NASA means?

A: Need Another Seven Astronauts.

Don't envy the birds. You can buy a plane and fly - and you most likely won't get sucked into a jet engine.

Aviatic definitions:

Glide range - the distance to the nearest equipped airport minus 10 miles.

Engine failure - the event when your fuel tanks get mysteriously filled with air.

Artificial horizon - the instrument that makes you fly in the ground when you fly in goo.

Goo - A mist so dense (in cockpit or outside) that makes it impossible to see the runway until you are flying over it.

Dead Reckoning - Reckon correctly or you'll be dead.

Cone of uncertainty - an area about 20 miles from the runway ILS beacon that is not on any map.

ILS - The system that crashes the plane instead of you!

Death - Nature's way of telling you "Watch your airspeed."

ASL - The reason why your altimeter reads "1600" when you crash into that mountain.

Throttle - The black stick that needs to be always as far from you as possible.

Good landing - The landing you can walk away from.

Great landing - the landing after which you can reuse the aircraft.

Stall - When you want to go up so badly that you go down.

747 - The big fat scary thing behind you in the landing queue.

Runway - a strip of tarmac that is trying to dodge you as you approach.

I Can come with more, but I'd need a TLDR if I did.

Pls more!

Rapid Unplanned Disassembly - That thing that happens to model rockets. Also your plane and the model rocket if the rocket hits you.

Model Rocket - Surface to Air Missile in the previous joke.

Bad landing - The landing you can limp away from.

Crappy landing - The landing you can't get away from. Ever.

Edited by GregroxMun
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vexx32

vexx32

Posted
Posted

An optimist, an pessimist, a nihilist, and a physicist are sitting around a table.

On the table are three glasses half full of water.

The optimist states that they're clearly half-full. The pessimist argues that they must be half-empty.

The nihilist sighs and tells them it isn't going to matter in the end anyway.

The physicist, having seen this situation before, ducks.

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Starwhip

Starwhip

Posted
Posted
An optimist, an pessimist, a nihilist, and a physicist are sitting around a table.

On the table are three glasses half full of water.

The optimist states that they're clearly half-full. The pessimist argues that they must be half-empty.

The nihilist sighs and tells them it isn't going to matter in the end anyway.

The physicist, having seen this situation before, ducks.

Without even clicking the link I know what you're referring to. :D

Q: What did the chemist say when he dropped a gold brick on his foot?

Au!

(Don't hurt me! :()

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