KAL 9000

Sorry it's been a while, I've been busy with other KSP stuff. A Remote Tech comsat network is up and running, and I have decided that Minmus will be the first target.

My science team has made numerous attempts to figure out the Goo, but they have not cracked it yet. Linus (Werner's intern) is currently in the hospital (he was the test subject). The data gathered so far seems to support Yogur&Bob's hypothesis, but no definitive answer yet.

The Lazarus missions were missions for preliminary scouting of a planet. What I don't get is: Why didn't they send probes, and why would they just abandon the astronauts?

I saw this picture online where aliens are scanning Earth. After looking at our TV shows and wars, one alien says to the other, "Sorry, sir. There's no intelligent life on Earth."

We were testing the cloning machine. MechJeb turns on you and won't open the pod bay doors.

When you mix up your last name with "Kerman".

The movie never gives us any good info on it, other than it's habitable and Edmunds and Brand land in a desert. Do you guys know what it's like?

Yes, you got me, I want to hack into Curiosity and find the Face on Mars . Lol

Title says it all. In their microchips, space probes must have an OS they use. What is it? For KSP it's obviously kOS.

I know that the Borg are cyborgs or something, but why do they have a Queen? And what is "assimilating"?

SpaceX teams up with Mars One... I forgot to add: Which happened to be Elon's worst business decision ever, causing everyone to laugh at them, only stopping when SpaceX threatens to crash Falcon 9s into the house of everybody that laughs at them.

My optimistic timeline: 2016-2017: SpaceX and Mars One decide to team up with thier Mars colonization plans 2018: SLS test flight (All Aboard the Hype Train!) 2023: First manned Orion/SLS flight to cislunar space 2025: China's first manned Moon landing/ USA returns to moon 2028: Small Moon base built 2030: Mars Sample Return 2035: First manned Mars mission (HYPE! HYPE! HYPE! HYPE! HYPE!) Indefinite future: Alien life discovered on Mars/Europa/exoplanet; Kerbals arrive at Earth and broadcast this message: "Take us to your snacks" <- Yes, that last one was a joke

I have a new (highly modded) install and I'm planning to colonize every celestial body (except for the Sun, the gas giants, asteroids, and Kerbin), and I have OPM, so even moar places to colonize! It's in Sandbox, because getting enough Funds/Science to do this would take forever.

Yes! It would be rendered like the (drumroll please) Drill-O-Matictm Mining Excavator!

Yep, it would be a spy weather satellite.

Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of the Challenger accident, and NASA had an official Day of Remembrance to honor the Challenger, Columbia, and Apollo 1 crews. They had a moment of silence on the ISS...

The day of the invasion has come... The Kerbals also recently invented Alcubierrie drives, and they were preparing to begin their own exploration of the Galaxy. --Year 2115 (Kerbal time), Day 257, Hour 4; Tracking Station, KSC, Klathuu, Kerbin-- "Sir, we've detected a group of large unidentified spacecraft dropping out of warp. They are proceeding towards the inner Kerbol system at 1,500 km/s. They appear to be using nuclear fusion drives. They are also moving directly towards Kerbin." Bob was reading A Jool Odyssey, the third installment to the Kerbfleet series, written by system-famous author Kuzzter Kerman, when the message came through that their ship was to greet the unidentified ships and establish communications. He was startled out of his chair and floated to the ceiling. "What's wrong, buddy?" questioned Bill as he floated by. Just then, the ship came within 100 km of the alien ships, and Val, having been chosen as the temporary Diplomatic Officer (after a heated game of Rocket, Paper, Scissors) started transmitting to the alien ships. "Hello? Hello? Anyone hear me?" "Val, you forgot to turn on the antenna." "Oh, ok, it's on now." "Hello? Hello?" The alien ship responded by shooting a missile at them. "We're losing power! Engines are offline! Reactor is overloaded! Life support is failing!" Jeb frantically slammed the ABORT button and announced over the Klaxon alarms, "Abandon ship! To the escape pods!" The computer calmly stated, "Please proceed to your designated escape pod. Don't forget your snacks, and remember, panic is advised."

How could I forget? I'm just translating the quotes. The poor Kerbals will have little time to prepare if they realize they are going to be invaded.

MOAR, you say? MOAR you shall have! "Approaching the unidentified object." "Be careful, Jeb." Jeb flew over and saw some strange symbols. One of them looked like NASA and another looked like UNITED STATES. He took out his kPhone and snapped pictures of them, and he emailed the pictures to KSC. Wernher and his team began to decipher them. He jetted over to the probe's camera (although he didn't know it was a camera) and poked it. Nothing happened visibly, but the probe's antenna had transmitted that it had discovered the alien species. Val, controlling the shuttle's robot arm (©Infernal Robotics) and moved its "hand" over to the equipment rack in the cargo bay. Bill, on EVA as well, secured a KAS electromagnet to the arm's "hand". Val piloted the robot arm to the probe, some 10 meters away, and grabbed it with the electromagnet. The probe was carefully moved to the cargo bay, and Bill used some duct tape to secure it. After the shuttle had landed, engineers took the probe over to the lab. Thier plan was to bring me the probe back to orbit where it had been found as soon as communication had been established. Meanwhile, the president was furious. Those little alien things were on HIS invasion target, and they had captured the probe-turned-spy-sattelite! He called out orders to construct an invasion fleet. To be continued...

Not just Americans. It's probably what humanity would do. We're jerks.

What about THE GREY GOO? Just put a milligram on the planet, turn it on and watch the destruction!

The probe flew towards the system's sun, designated K-3R-B0L. It discovered 5 inner, rocky planets, 4 outer gas giants, and a small icy dwarf at the edge of the system's planetary part. It also discovered several moons. Interestingly enough, the third planet, K-3R-B0Ld, and the first moon of the sixth planet, K-3R-B0Lg I, appeared to have liquid water on thier surfaces. As the probe flew closer, Mission Control ordered it to enter orbit around K-3R-B0Ld. It flew into a circular 250km polar orbit around it. --Meanwhile-- "Jeb, we have detected an unidentified object entering orbit around Kerbin. It performed an orbital insertion, a plane change, and a circularization. We need you, Bill, Bob, and Val to investigate." "Roger that." "We have the space shuttle Explosion waiting on the pad, but before you investigate, Zaltonic needs you to repair their communications satellite in keyosynchronus orbit." The Explosion lifted of the pad, its four enormous SRBs shooting it up like a... like a rocket (which it was). "SRB sep. 30 km up, 45 km downrange. Beginning roll program." This was the most dangerous part of the mission, other than reentry. Gene hoped the little shuttle would make it into space, remembering the Khallenger disaster. "We are in orbit and proceeding to the comsat. Cargo bay doors... open. Solar panels... extended." --At the probe-- [Radar]: Unidentified object detected taking off from the surface of K-3R-B0Ld. [Antenna]: Reporting to Mission Control. --Back on Earth-- "It appears that there is an intelligent race on that planet." "Hello, you've reached the President of the United States- You've found WHAT!?!?" "Ms. Secretary of State, please get me the heads of the army and NASA." "So, gentlemen, we've found an alien race. NASA Administrator-" "My name is Todd." "-Erm, Todd, could you please explain where this planet is. And General, draw up plans for an invasion of this planet." "Wait, WHAT?" interjected the scientist administrator. "You can't just invade inhabited planets wildly-nilly!" "Nonsense! This planet, um, what was it again?" "K-3R-B0Ld." "Yes, that's it! This planet, K-3R-B0Ld, will become the 51st state!"

The Kerbals would only need a month to prepare. Humans... Maybe 75 years?

In this story, I will be describing the first contact between humanity and Kerbalkind. Pretend that the Kerbol system is scaled up to real size, while still having the same planets. I am also including the OPM planets. Date: 7/25/2077 Location: Low Earth Orbit Interstellar Probe 37 was docked to the carrier ship that contained the reactors and Alcubierrie drives. It flew to a newly discovered solar system and released the probe. To be continued...

Can't wait for Ununoctium 1! LOL