A Thread for Writers to talk about Writing

[Mad Rocket Scientist]

On 2/7/2016 at 10:28 AM, Kuzzter said:

[...]
Here's an exercise--you might even call it a challenge! Let's see how different artists approach the same page layout problem...what if we start with Jeb and a craft consisting of (from top to bottom) a Mk16 parachute, a Mk1 capsule, a decoupler, an FL-400 fuel tank and a T-30 engine. Tell the story of his suborbital flight, without words. There are no points, there are no winners. Just post your version of the story here for open discussion.
[...]

Ooh, sounds fun!  I'll take a shot at it soon.

Also, what do people think of KK & the moons of Jool?

It doesn't have much in the way of characters or interaction, it's more technical.  Should it be more character-driven? 

[CalculusWarrior]

On 3/2/2016 at 3:46 PM, Kuzzter said:

Nice! You told the whole story with great pictures, and I particularly liked the "anticipatory" zoom-in on Jeb as well as your use of the other two kerbs to 'bookend' his flight. 

Now I wonder--if you absolutely had to get rid of those "arrows" directing the reader to the correct next panel, how would you do it? What could you re-arrange, re-size or remove to make it work without a pointer? No need to resubmit of course, just as a discussion point  

I'm looking at it again, and honestly the arrows may not be needed! Perhaps a couple of panels could be slightly lengthened to draw the reader's eye, but looking at it again a few days later, it does flow alright.

[Starhawk]

On 2016-03-02 at 4:51 PM, Mad Rocket Scientist said:

Also, what do people think of KK & the moons of Jool?

It doesn't have much in the way of characters or interaction, it's more technical.  Should it be more character-driven? 

I think you should keep going and see what feels right and fun you as you write.  Character development choices seem to me like they are very personal.

I've been just dipping my toes in to character development while starting my KRRAKC mission reports.  Like yours, they are largely technical and full of no-name whitesuits.

Not sure how it is for you, but I feel more comfortable with the technical part of my mission reports and have to stretch my boundaries a bit to write dialogue.  But it has been fun!

Happy landings!

[Spaceception]

This my work in progress "The Void"

Plot:

The year is 2030, and scientists discover something unusual within the Oort cloud, a black hole, heading straight for the inner solar system, traveling at several hundred kps, they don't know how it got there with no one noticing, but shortly after the discovery, the worlds space programs decide to unite to build a spacecraft capable of saving humanity by launching it to a nearby star, and colonizing one of its planets, they have less than a few decades to build an launch it before the black hole enters the solar system, so they need to work fast, but everyone is asking the same question; will humanity go extinct?

The first chapter is on the 7th page I have proofreaders, and I am getting writing tips from them, but It'd be nice to have some more feedback.

Now, before you read, I have a couple things to add to it, and I know it's a bit fast-paced, but I wanted to get it done and over with so i could move on to the more interesting stuff

Btw, please quote me so I can see you replied

Edited March 9, 2016 by Spaceception

[Just Jim]

On the subject of character driven stories... I'm going to take a huge chance and from this point onward go all out on characters in mine.  Two chapters ago (chapter 33) I posted one that seemed mostly just mission report, and after reading it, I was hugely disappointed with it.  It just felt lifeless to me.

So the chapter I posted last night jumped ahead a couple years, totally glossed over the technical aspect of it, and went right into the continuing story my main "super-villain", Thompberry.  Totally character driven chapter this time.

I'll be honest... I'm not sure it's the right move or not, but it feels right to me, so I'm going for it. 

But one thing I'm trying very hard to do is limit the number of characters I'm introducing, and coming back to them as often as possible instead of introducing so many new ones it's hard to keep track of them all.  So far I think I have maybe 10 characters besides Jeb, Val, Bob & Bill, and the crew in the KSC (Gene, Dr. von Kerman, Mort, etc...)  And I don't think I'll be introducing any more, unless they're vital to the story. 

As for Thompberry, my "super-villain" I am reminded of something I saw Stan Lee say recently.  This is not a quote, but what he said was basically the best adventure stories are the ones where you think the villain has won, the end is at hand, and there's absolutely no hope in sight for our hero this time......

And I think he's right.... 

 

[Mister Dilsby]

11 minutes ago, Just Jim said:

On the subject of character driven stories... I'm going to take a huge chance and from this point onward go all out on characters in mine.  Two chapters ago (chapter 33) I posted one that seemed mostly just mission report, and after reading it, I was hugely disappointed with it.  It just felt lifeless to me.

Just read the most recent chapter and I think this is a very good move. Not that your "mission report" chapters weren't great, but like we've said before on this thread every story needs to have some kind of unique brand. I think you're finding yours, and the 'super-villain' angle is excellent.  

Also I think you're right to limit the number of characters. It can be hard for people to keep track of a big cast, especially when most of them are 'whitesuits'. I think I'm not too far off the mark if I say that my comic has one of the longest-lived, most loyal reader bases on the forum, but even I think I'm stretching the limit with a crew of 12. Uniforms and specific job descriptions seem to help a lot, as do the "personality quirks" that many characters display (and which Gregmore tried in vain to develop when he realized he was in danger of slipping to the B-team  )

I think in your case though, with a very character-driven story, you'll have more opportunities to make each one memorable. Whether it's about the plot or about the characters, the key is to give everyone in the story something important to do in driving it. Looking forward to seeing where your characters take this one.

[Just Jim]

1 hour ago, Kuzzter said:

Just read the most recent chapter and I think this is a very good move. Not that your "mission report" chapters weren't great, but like we've said before on this thread every story needs to have some kind of unique brand. I think you're finding yours, and the 'super-villain' angle is excellent.  

Also I think you're right to limit the number of characters. It can be hard for people to keep track of a big cast, especially when most of them are 'whitesuits'. I think I'm not too far off the mark if I say that my comic has one of the longest-lived, most loyal reader bases on the forum, but even I think I'm stretching the limit with a crew of 12. Uniforms and specific job descriptions seem to help a lot, as do the "personality quirks" that many characters display (and which Gregmore tried in vain to develop when he realized he was in danger of slipping to the B-team  )

I think in your case though, with a very character-driven story, you'll have more opportunities to make each one memorable. Whether it's about the plot or about the characters, the key is to give everyone in the story something important to do in driving it. Looking forward to seeing where your characters take this one.

Thanks!  I've noticed you also are keeping your characters limited.... and now you have the added benefit of colored suits... nice touch, BTW.

I've been thinking of the really successful Sci-fi shows, like Star Trek... really doesn't matter which series, in every one you had a ship or station (DS-9) with crews of hundreds, or even thousands, yet in each there were only a few main characters and some re-occurring supporting characters.  And off hand I can't think of any that had more than maybe a dozen or so.  I think this is wise.

I also agree with giving them personalities and "quirks".  It's not enough to just say "so-and-so was the pilot"... what kind of pilot are they?  Do they scream in excitement on takeoff, or are they maybe a bit of a coward who doesn't grin until they make orbit?  A funny thing I've noticed in my story is how people are reacting to my twins, Gem and Theo.  A few times now I've gotten comments of how cute they are, which is great... except, technically, they don't look any different than any other Kerbal.  But get a good picture of the two of them in a Doodlebug, and suddenly everyone recognizes them and knows they're "the twins".

As for where they're going... yeah, I'm curious as well... lol.   What I mean is I know how this is going to eventually play out, but every time I turn around, the game itself gives me something new to work with.   The best example is the floating rocks.  The reason my last chapter took a little longer is I never expected to find one on Bop, and when I spotted it, I almost fell over myself... this makes number 4, and in the most perfect spot I could have asked for... and it was total chance! 

I'm finding this is the most fun part... I know my ultimate destination, but the game itself keeps offering me new detours and side paths getting there. 

[Andem]

I've always loved writing, And I've found ways to slide it into my job! I've written a KSP story, but looking at it now it's a bit sloppy in comparison to my other writings. I like a happy ending just as much as a crushing ending, so It can go either way with my stories. I used to write page-long slices of life stories, and I plan on posting them here or on another thread SoonTM!

[Spaceception]

Tips pls?

 

[Deadweasel]

One thing I did to help guide me in creating personalities for the cast was to use the Kerbalizer to play with different looks.  That gave me the basis on which to build their initial mentality, and the events they deal with would flesh it out from there. 

I've also made sure that some individuals have unique speech patterns as well. Mackenzie has a tendency to drawl and twang like an American southerner (think Rogue from the X-men comics, sugar), while Karnin, a spiritual leader and equivalent of a professor of sorts, speaks extremely eloquently and "proper". 

Beyond their lingual style, it is also important to develop a sense of their personalities in your head as you write, because you want their actions and reactions to be consistent unless there's a demonstrated reason for them to change.  For example, Nelnie is somewhat shy and reserved, so she's not really prone to outbursts, where her sister is quick to jump to conclusions and sometimes act impulsively on them, but each has stepped outside their normal "level" state in reaction to some critical event. Keeping a baseline personality intact makes it that much more powerful when they break away from it (if there's a good explainable reason for it).  Jeb wavered between cocky and almost mentally broken as a result of experiencing the loss of most of his people, but stabilized drastically when he found evidence of hope in other survivors. 

Also, if your story is episodic in nature, it helps to have a point where one or more individuals get some focus time. That's how you can really get readers to identify with your characters: not just in how they act individually, but in how they relate to one another as well. Star Trek: The Next Generation did this with an episode called "Data's Day", following that character almost exclusively through his day and exposing much more depth to his character in the process.

Which brings me to the topic of relationships themselves. Don't shy away from presenting something deeper than "just friends or coworkers".  Whether it's an enemy conflict or a romantic interest, expounding on their relationships will give your characters an aspect that makes them more easy to identify with to the readers. 

I'm not talking about graphic levels of detail here: you can let the reader infer what they want without turning your story into a steamy Harlequin romance novel or zombie horror romp. In my story, Jeb and Nelnie are simultaneously dealing with survival issues and caring for their baby. How that baby got there should already be obvious to the reader, but presenting intimate (kissing) or violent (even deadly) moments without going into great unnecessary detail can go a long way to getting the reader to develop a favorite among the characters to laugh with, feel sorry for, or generally support. 

Give the characters a conflict to overcome. It can be internal or external, but they need some kind of reason to rise or fall, and it also gives you some substance on which to develop them further. Jeb believes in the Kraken of Karjuum (aka The Great Breaker), and is angry with himself for neglecting to perform the Rite of Safe Passage on a new vehicle, which (as far as he believes) nearly resulted in Bill's death. For him, the conflict was both internal (self-loathing for indirectly putting his friend at risk) and external (the unseen force that seems to cause their krap to break down if it's not properly presented to the Breaker for his blessing). It can also of course be a personality conflict between two characters, but however it comes, the characters need a challenge to overcome in order to develop further, whether it's a simple argument about a course correction or even a natural obstacle like a cliff or asteroid. 

Try to build your story in the form of acts. Introduction, conflict, climax, resolution. It doesn't have to happen all in one chapter, but the flow of those steps is the core of the story. The conflict forms the reason for the story, the acts present the events in a meaningful and methodical way that readers will subconsciously expect to see. 

Through the flow of the story, don't shy away from introducing multiple smaller conflicts.  This gives you the opportunity to follow a series of escalating mini climaxes that will make the reader shout "yes!" or get goosebumps when the big final climax actually happens.  George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg are masters of this technique, and it's why ET, Indiana Jones and Star Wars are well-known and well-loved stories.

That's it for me for now, but I'm absolutely happy to answer questions or discuss alternative viewpoints any time. 

[Just Jim]

4 minutes ago, Deadweasel said:

One thing I did to help guide me in creating personalities for the cast was to use the Kerbalizer to play with different looks.  That gave me the basis on which to build their initial mentality, and the events they deal with would flesh it out from there. 

I've also made sure that some individuals have unique speech patterns as well. Mackenzie has a tendency to drawl and twang like an American southerner (think Rogue from the X-men comics, sugar), while Karnin, a spiritual leader and equivalent of a professor of sorts, speaks extremely eloquently and "proper". 

Beyond their lingual style, it is also important to develop a sense of their personalities in your head as you write, because you want their actions and reactions to be consistent unless there's a demonstrated reason for them to change.  For example, Nelnie is somewhat shy and reserved, so she's not really prone to outbursts, where her sister is quick to jump to conclusions and sometimes act impulsively on them, but each has stepped outside their normal "level" state in reaction to some critical event. Keeping a baseline personality intact makes it that much more powerful when they break away from it (if there's a good explainable reason for it).  Jeb wavered between cocky and almost mentally broken as a result of experiencing the loss of most of his people, but stabilized drastically when he found evidence of hope in other survivors. 

Also, if your story is episodic in nature, it helps to have a point where one or more individuals get some focus time. That's how you can really get readers to identify with your characters: not just in how they act individually, but in how they relate to one another as well. Star Trek: The Next Generation did this with an episode called "Data's Day", following that character almost exclusively through his day and exposing much more depth to his character in the process.

Which brings me to the topic of relationships themselves. Don't shy away from presenting something deeper than "just friends or coworkers".  Whether it's an enemy conflict or a romantic interest, expounding on their relationships will give your characters an aspect that makes them more easy to identify with to the readers. 

I'm not talking about graphic levels of detail here: you can let the reader infer what they want without turning your story into a steamy Harlequin romance novel or zombie horror romp. In my story, Jeb and Nelnie are simultaneously dealing with survival issues and caring for their baby. How that baby got there should already be obvious to the reader, but presenting intimate (kissing) or violent (even deadly) moments without going into great unnecessary detail can go a long way to getting the reader to develop a favorite among the characters to laugh with, feel sorry for, or generally support. 

Give the characters a conflict to overcome. It can be internal or external, but they need some kind of reason to rise or fall, and it also gives you some substance on which to develop them further. Jeb believes in the Kraken of Karjuum (aka The Great Breaker), and is angry with himself for neglecting to perform the Rite of Safe Passage on a new vehicle, which (as far as he believes) nearly resulted in Bill's death. For him, the conflict was both internal (self-loathing for indirectly putting his friend at risk) and external (the unseen force that seems to cause their krap to break down if it's not properly presented to the Breaker for his blessing). It can also of course be a personality conflict between two characters, but however it comes, the characters need a challenge to overcome in order to develop further, whether it's a simple argument about a course correction or even a natural obstacle like a cliff or asteroid. 

Try to build your story in the form of acts. Introduction, conflict, climax, resolution. It doesn't have to happen all in one chapter, but the flow of those steps is the core of the story. The conflict forms the reason for the story, the acts present the events in a meaningful and methodical way that readers will subconsciously expect to see. 

Through the flow of the story, don't shy away from introducing multiple smaller conflicts.  This gives you the opportunity to follow a series of escalating mini climaxes that will make the reader shout "yes!" or get goosebumps when the big final climax actually happens.  George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg are masters of this technique, and it's why ET, Indiana Jones and Star Wars are well-known and well-loved stories.

That's it for me for now, but I'm absolutely happy to answer questions or discuss alternative viewpoints any time. 

wow.....  yes....  I couldn't have said it better!  

[Mister Dilsby]

44 minutes ago, Deadweasel said:

• Beyond their lingual style, it is also important to develop a sense of their personalities in your head as you write, because you want their actions and reactions to be consistent unless there's a demonstrated reason for them to change.  . 
• Also, if your story is episodic in nature, it helps to have a point where one or more individuals get some focus time. 
• Which brings me to the topic of relationships themselves. Don't shy away from presenting something deeper than "just friends or coworkers".
• Give the characters a conflict to overcome. It can be internal or external, but they need some kind of reason to rise or fall, and it also gives you some substance on which to develop them further. 
• Try to build your story in the form of acts. Introduction, conflict, climax, resolution. It doesn't have to happen all in one chapter, but the flow of those steps is the core of the story. 
• Through the flow of the story, don't shy away from introducing multiple smaller conflicts.  

Snipped an bulletized. This is really good advice. I agree with @Just Jim, couldn't have said it better. But I will elaborate nonetheless  

On lingual style and personality--yes, yes. This is especially important for stories that don't use Kerbalizer or somesuch, as there may not be a clear visual way to tell characters apart. Even in mine, where different specialties wear different color uniforms and speak with different color balloons, I don't rely on that alone to differentiate for the readers. I always mention a name at an appropriate point in the dialogue, or use a 'portrait window' with the name labeled. And then I make sure that character is unique. The one time I realized I was not succeeding in doing that, I put a lampshade on it and Gregmore was born.

Relationships--REALLY really important in any fiction. Why should a reader care deeply about characters if they don't care deeply about each other? Good writing tells readers what to pay attention to, by sharing attention unequally. Good writing tells readers what to care about, by caring unequally--the same way a photographer intentionally leaves the background of a portrait out of focus.

Focus time on individuals--Critical with a large cast, absolutely critical. It's the 'selective focus' thing all over again. Sometimes you just have to get Picard and Riker out of the way, and tell a story about someone else. Then when that someone else comes back into the mainstream he adds so much to the fabric of the main cast. An idea like this was the beginning of the Kenlie interludes.

Conflict--No story is complete without it. When I see a story on the Forum that isn't achieving orbital velocity, it's usually because the conflict isn't clear, or isn't believable enough that there are stakes the reader will care about. Fighting against the destruction of all Kerbin? Brain in a jar that hungers for the flesh of worlds? Now we're getting somewhere.

Structure-- Another tripping point for a lot of stories. You need a beginning, a middle, and an end. One might think the beginning's the easiest, but it's rarely any good if the author doesn't have any idea of what the end will be. The middle's tough as well, especially if there are subplots to execute and resolve in time for the big finish.

Chess master Rudolf Spielmann said, "Play the opening like a book, the middle game like a magician, and the endgame like a machine."  I think this goes for writing as well. Many might object to writing any part of the story like a "machine". But I think the analogy holds, in a way.

The beginning of the story sets expectation. It needs to stay familiar to the readers, and more or less gently tell them what kind of story this is going to be. So we stay with some tried and true formulae, there's some innovation, sure, but no deep shocks before they're ready. Just like executing a recipe "from a book". Once they're hooked, play the middle of the story "like a magician". Now is the time for innovation and daring. Now's when you really show why your story is different from anything else they've ever read before. Surprises! Tragedy! Joy! Terror! Leading to ..the end. "Like a machine"-- as a story winds up we know it's winding up. Listen to the last 16 bars of any symphony and tell me it doesn't sound like the last 16 bars of a symphony. We prepare the reader for the ending. Subplots are resolved. Loose ends are tied up neatly, but not "deus ex" neatly. We lay the groundwork for a future story, sure, but make it clear that we have done everything we set out to do in this one, leaving the reader thrilled, satisfied, and wanting to read another Beginning very soon.

Edited March 16, 2016 by Kuzzter

[SaturnianBlue]

The talk about relationships and conflict and etc makes me wonder about my story. I've tried to some extent to separate characters by speech style,  but I'd like feedback about the personalities of my characters, I wonder if their ok or potentially in danger of blending into each other. Relationships in The Asteroid Sentinels haven't really gone to much extent, sure the occasional debate and dialogue might demonstrate things, but I don't know if this really goes to show. Obviously the conflict between the kerbal public and the KSC/Kerbonauts is the main thing, but many of the romping around the kerbonauts do doesn't really show much in the conflict, though perhaps that conflict is more or less between the KSC. Conflicts also make me wonder about character development, and I feel as if the graphic novel hasn't been great at the interior though of my kerbals.

Now here's the thing: The Asteroid Sentinels has had multiple stories through the times. However, the story sort of blends into the earlier stories, which would make a "beginning" to the current story hard to really pin down, as stories overlap.

[Mister Dilsby]

1 minute ago, SaturnianBlue said:

Relationships in The Asteroid Sentinels haven't really gone to much extent, sure the occasional debate and dialogue might demonstrate things, but I don't know if this really goes to show. Obviously the conflict between the kerbal public and the KSC/Kerbonauts is the main thing, but many of the romping around the kerbonauts do doesn't really show much in the conflict, though perhaps that conflict is more or less between the KSC.

This is a really good insight. I have to say that not a lot sticks to me from reading Sentinels. I get threads of conflict--kerbals versus asteroids versus Mort, for example, but what I think I'm not seeing is a real arc with a beginning, middle, and end. Your Kerbals do tend to "romp" (great word!), rather than develop along with their role in the conflict. You might pick one relationship, or personal struggle for a single kerbal, and focus on that--let that one thing play out as the conflict happens. Make sure that relationship or struggle changes in some irreversible way--for better or worse--in the course of that arc. Think of a beginning, middle and end to the arc and keep at it until you like what you're reading  

[CalculusWarrior]

Very well-said, @Kuzzter! I've taken a hiatus from writing my story to really work on establishing a structure with, as you say, a solid beginning, middle, and end. I find a sort of 'fractal' approach works best.

Essentially, I begin with the three most key ideas/themes I want to tell (i.e. what the audience ought to take away from the beginning, the middle, and the end of the story), then choose 3 or so points which make up each of those points, and so on. Eventually, I wind up with a large document with many nested lists of bullet points after a while, and it becomes easy to start tweaking things so I can have setups and payoffs throughout the story and such that everything is connected, rather than just writing each chapter in a vacuum.

Still working on exactly how to flesh out characters, though looking at the overall themes, my story's really more about the two overarching nations, as opposed to individual kerbals.

[SaturnianBlue]

On March 17, 2016 at 11:04 PM, Kuzzter said:

This is a really good insight. I have to say that not a lot sticks to me from reading Sentinels. I get threads of conflict--kerbals versus asteroids versus Mort, for example, but what I think I'm not seeing is a real arc with a beginning, middle, and end. Your Kerbals do tend to "romp" (great word!), rather than develop along with their role in the conflict. You might pick one relationship, or personal struggle for a single kerbal, and focus on that--let that one thing play out as the conflict happens. Make sure that relationship or struggle changes in some irreversible way--for better or worse--in the course of that arc. Think of a beginning, middle and end to the arc and keep at it until you like what you're reading  

I've tried to somewhat establish kerbal roles in the newest episodes, and and have their relationships be looked at from their own perspective, but perhaps I've made it too direct. Also, what do you think about the kerbal characters in general? What has worked in series 7 so far, and what hasn't?

[Butterbar]

Have a short rough draft of an idea here.  Interested in seeing if anyone thinks it's a good idea.

"The apocalypse arrived at roughly six o'clock in the evening as the day shift workers of Kerbin were returning home.  It took the form of several dozen thermonuclear warheads reentering the atmosphere in streaks of light that might have been mistaken for stray meteors had the circumstances been normal.  But they were far from it - the Atomic Crisis had extended into it's third week and tensions between the great powers of Kerbin were at an all time high.  So when Armageddon came knocking, it took few by surprise - that is, if there was anyone left to be surprised.  

In great flashes of light and fire, the great cosmopolitan cities of Kerbin were snuffed out.  Chadoly City, Eldrin, and the Capitol were the first to go.  Next came the military bases and the spaceports; Kerman Spaceport on the Psystar Pennisula was the worst hit, taking three atomic blasts for good measure.  After this came the secondary targets - transportation hubs, small ports, naval fleets, power plants, optic fiber centers, and finally, the space infrastructure that had enabled Kerbal expansion to the Min and Minimus.  Space Station III, the glowing center of the fledgling interplanetary empire that had once belonged to a nation, survived the first blast and destroyed its second ring and limped onwards before being finally dispatched through kinetic missiles.  The Geosynchronous Station was more fortunate; sending an on-board EVA pod to intercept the incoming missile, it survived the first hour of the Atomic War - then it drifted into a EMP cloud that had been the result of a less fortunate military satellite and all communications ceased.  And with that, the last signs of civilization on Kerbin disappeared forever."

Edited March 21, 2016 by Butterbar

[steuben]

1 hour ago, Butterbar said:

Have a short rough draft of an idea here.  Interested in seeing if anyone thinks it's a good idea.

"The apocalypse arrived at roughly six o'clock in the evening as the day shift workers of Kerbin were returning home.  It took the form of several dozen thermonuclear warheads reentering the atmosphere in streaks of light that might have been mistaken for stray meteors had the circumstances been normal.  But they were far from it - the Atomic Crisis had extended into it's third week and tensions between the great powers of Kerbin were at an all time high.  So when Armageddon came knocking, it took few by surprise - that is, if there was anyone left to be surprised.  

In great flashes of light and fire, the great cosmopolitan cities of Kerbin were snuffed out.  Chadoly City, Eldrin, and the Capitol were the first to go.  Next came the military bases and the spaceports; Kerman Spaceport on the Psystar Pennisula was the worst hit, taking three atomic blasts for good measure.  After this came the secondary targets - transportation hubs, small ports, naval fleets, power plants, optic fiber centers, and finally, the space infrastructure that had enabled Kerbal expansion to the Min and Minimus.  Space Station III, the glowing center of the fledgling interplanetary empire that had once belonged to a nation, survived the first blast and destroyed its second ring and limped onwards before being finally dispatched through kinetic missiles.  The Geosynchronous Station was more fortunate; sending an on-board EVA pod to intercept the incoming missile, it survived the first hour of the Atomic War - then it drifted into a EMP cloud that had been the result of a less fortunate military satellite and all communications ceased.  And with that, the last signs of civilization on Kerbin disappeared forever."

Right now you have the key event... a pretty stock one. It depends on when you're setting the story, pre-event, during event, post-event, and very post-event, and what the story is. for example the movies "7 Days in May" and "Thirteen Days" except things went wrong for pre-event. "Threads" and "The Day After", not "The Day After Tomorrow", for during event (book some therapy after watching those). "On the Beach" for post-event, might be a good watch/read given the description you've given. Very post-event depends on how long after "Nausicaa" and "Wizards" for several centuries/millennia, and "Postman" the book for several years/decades.

[Mister Dilsby]

2 hours ago, Butterbar said:

Have a short rough draft of an idea here.  Interested in seeing if anyone thinks it's a good idea.

This is really only the setup. The interesting part of a story like this is what happens after the apocalypse. So, what happens?  

[Ten Key]

50 minutes ago, steuben said:

 "On the Beach" for post-event, might be a good watch/read given the description you've given. 

Seconding this. On the Beach is a very good read.

[Butterbar]

Alright, here's more.

"Thousands of kilometers away from the radioactive wasteland that once had a name, tucked into the relative safety of the far side of the Mun, a computer whirred to life.  It was a simple computer, and only intended for the mundane purpose of Kerbal Resources.  But now it's mission, now under unexpected circumstances, was very important.  

Scanning through a list of onboard personnel in less than a nanosecond, the computer found no officials in the designated list of Presidental successors.  It extended its search to high-ranking military personnel, and so settled upon one Bill Kerman.  Bill was a Brigadier General in the Marine Corps, which was, at best, small preparation for governing the last remnants of his country.  The reason he was stationed upon the Munar surface was far different from the task he was about to undertake; he had been trained to lead disciplined Marines and kerbalonauts, not masses of civilians.  But he would have to do.

_______________________

Bill Kerman dug his boots into the Munar soil as he strode to the ladder.  The silent solitude of the night shift was eerie, but relaxing.  Here was no support team behind his every move, or the constant stream of orders from Kerbin.  It was simply himself versus the harsh conditions of space.  Climbing the rungs of the ladder, he looked upwards toward the stars.  

"The stars haven't changed for ten thousand years, and they won't change for another ten thousand", came the ancient saying.  He stopped for a second, contemplating his place in the universe.  When I die, when my children die, and when Kerbalkind dies, these stars will still be there, and to them our histories have lasted for a second.  Bill continued his climb, before reaching out his arm to grasp the handle of the airlock.  Then, in one swift motion, he swung his leg up into the handle and tumbled inside.  With a hiss, the airlock closed, slowly pressurizing itself to the Kerbin atmospheric pressure.  Opening the second hatch into the habitat, he removed his helmet.  

"Hello, Mr. President"

Bill ignored the computer as he headed for his quarters.   The computer probably malfunctioned again.  I'll have to call Kerbin to send a replacement. The computer continued.  

"Under the designated succession protocol, you have been appointed Commander-In-Chief of the armed forces."

He paused, his hand frozen on the doorknob.  

"The government awaits your orders, Mr. President."

General, now President Bill shrugged off the idea that this was one elaborate joke.  The penalties for hacking nowadays were much too severe for even minor offenses to occur.  And the computer had multiple failsafes; "overengineered", as the Kerbinside personnel would call it.  But for him, a military officer stationed on the Munar farside, to be promoted to the highest office in the nation, was far too unprobable an event.  Unless...

"Computer, call Kerbin."

"Call failed.  Error Code #5271.044"

"Call Kerbin", Bill repeated, in a much harder tone.

"Call failed.  Error Code #5271.044"
 

still working

Edited March 21, 2016 by Butterbar

[Andem]

1 hour ago, Butterbar said:

Alright, here's more.

"Thousands of kilometers away from the radioactive wasteland that once had a name, tucked into the relative safety of the far side of the Mun, a computer whirred to life.  It was a simple computer, and only intended for the mundane purpose of Kerbal Resources.  But now it's mission, now under unexpected circumstances, was very important.  

Scanning through a list of onboard personnel, the computer found no officials in the designated list of Presidental successors.  It extended its search to high-ranking military personnel, and so settled upon one Bill Kerman.  Bill was a Brigadier General in the Marine Corps, which was, at best, small preparation for governing the last remnants of his country.  But he would have to do.

_______________________

 

Bill Kerman dug his boots into the Munar soil as he strode to the ladder.  The silent solitude of the night shift was eerie, but relaxing.  Here was no support team behind his every move, or the constant stream of orders from Kerbin.  It was simply himself versus the harsh conditions of space.  Climbing the rungs of the ladder, he looked upwards toward the stars.  

"The stars haven't changed for ten thousand years, and they won't change for another ten thousand", came the ancient saying.  He stopped for a second, contemplating his place in the universe.

Bill continued his climb, before reaching out his arm to grasp the handle of the airlock.  Then, in one swift motion, he swung his leg up into the handle and tumbled inside.  With a hiss, the airlock closed, slowly pressurizing itself to the Kerbin atmosphere.  Opening the second hatch into the habitat, he removed his helmet.  

"Hello, President Bill."

Bill ignored the computer as he headed for his quarters.   The computer probably malfunctioned again.  I'll have to get Kerbin to send a replacement.

The computer continued.  

"Under the designated succession protocol, you have been appointed Commander-In-Chief of the armed forces."

He paused.  

"The government awaits your orders, Mr. President."

Still working on this passage

 

 

Instead of president Bill, I would open with Mr. President, just my two cents

[steuben]

*takes off greek fisherman hat, puts on writer's hat*

@Butterbar okay you've got your start. now figure out where you're going, and how you're going to get there. If you layout the pieces in between like a 22 ep season of a TV series it'll help you as you go along. You don't have plan out every detail, but a rough frame work will prevent future plot holes or a where did that come from.

That being said there are those who do take a much more stream of writing approach. Write it as it goes let the story find its own channel. You can, but you have to keep a much tighter leash on the characters and have a good reference file to prevent holes and ex machina moments.

As for your original question. I can't really answer that. But what ever story you end up with will be the answer.

*takes off writer's hat, puts on greek fisherman hat*

[Mister Dilsby]

"takes off cavalry hat... puts cavalry hat back on"

Ok, now we're getting somewhere @Butterbar. The "hook" of this story is that somebody who did not expect to be in charge is now in charge. That could work--but there are some questions you need to answer for yourself first. What will President Bill's main conflict be going forward? Is it to survive post-apocalypse (i've been typing that word a lot lately) or to defeat whatever enemy nuked his government? Are you sure you want to make Bill a Marine general and not, say, Secretary of Billitude? Because if you want the story to be about his struggle to handle something bigger than he ever dreamed handling, that may be a better direction. I would imagine that commanding a brigade of Marines is quite good preparation for all sorts of things, especially in a story that starts with everything getting nuked. Also, how does a general officer not know there's a war on? And what is he doing on the far side of the Mun, unless there is also a brigade of Marines there? Etc.  

[Ten Key]

2 hours ago, Butterbar said:

"Thousands of kilometers away from the radioactive wasteland that once had a name, tucked into the relative safety of the far side of the Mun, a computer whirred to life.  It was a simple computer, and only intended for the mundane purpose of Kerbal Resources.  But now it's mission, now under unexpected circumstances, was very important.  

Scanning through a list of onboard personnel, the computer found no officials in the designated list of Presidental successors.  It extended its search to high-ranking military personnel, and so settled upon one Bill Kerman.  Bill was a Brigadier General in the Marine Corps, which was, at best, small preparation for governing the last remnants of his country.  But he would have to do.

_______________________

 

Bill Kerman dug his boots into the Munar soil as he strode to the ladder.  The silent solitude of the night shift was eerie, but relaxing.  Here was no support team behind his every move, or the constant stream of orders from Kerbin.  It was simply himself versus the harsh conditions of space.  Climbing the rungs of the ladder, he looked upwards toward the stars.  

"The stars haven't changed for ten thousand years, and they won't change for another ten thousand", came the ancient saying.  He stopped for a second, contemplating his place in the universe.

A lot of this is going to depend on what kind of story you're looking to tell, and this probably won't help you in the slightest if you're looking to tell a war story, but. . .

Move Bill over to the Munar nearside. Maybe he's active military, or maybe retired. Low ranking, or perhaps his promotion to flag officer was mostly honorary, a result of his space flight experience. But, now he's just an engineer, and if the work is hard at least the solitude suits him. And one day he comes back to the hab, and the computer cheerfully announces a promotion notice, and spits out a form letter that reads like standard HR boilerplate-- right up until the new job title, which reads President with a capital P. 

So Bill chuckles to himself, and sets about trying to figure out this particular software bug. And the more he digs, the more it seems like it's not a bug. . .but surely it must be? Either his honorary promotion bumped him way up the line of succession by accident, or some programmer calculated it out to a bajillion places out of sheer boredom. I think the later works better, but the honorary promotion may work better if you are looking to tell a war story. 

And Bill, still sure it's a hilarious glitch (it must be, right?), decides to get on the radio and share a laugh with mission control. But try as he might, he can't raise them. Or anyone else. 

Well the radio's out then. At least the quiet's nice.

And so Bill suits back up and goes back outside to fix the radio. But try as he might, he can't find anything wrong with it. And somewhere along the way he pauses to look up at Kerbin. And after a while, the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. But why. . .

And then he realizes. . .there are no lights on Kerbin's night side.

What happened? Bill doesn't know. Maybe he finds out at some point. Maybe he doesn't. Lots of interesting directions to go here.