A Thread for Writers to talk about Writing

[KSK]

I liked it.

The 'rebooting the space program' angle was good, you told a nice contained story but there's clearly a lot of backstory to explore in future stories (if you felt so inclined) and that last line was very effective. I liked your mix of familiar and new characters and I thought your Val in particular was an interesting contrast to her depiction by other fanfic writers. Also, any world with djan chips and Kerm in can't be all bad.  

Beyond that - I would echo @steuben's comment - how much feedback do you want? And would you prefer to take it to private messages rather than hashing it all out in public on this thread? There's also the question of what you want to do with the story. If you wanted Jeb's Ride to be a one-off short story, then I'd probably offer fairly detailed comments of the kind I look for myself when revising my own work. On the other hand, if you were planning to make this the first chapter of a longer story then, without wishing to be harsh, I'd be more inclined to hold back on further comments and just let you tell your own story in your own way. If you're anything like me,  I'd expect your writing style to evolve anyway (probably rendering most of my initial comments moot) and because of that I'd be wary of loading you down with too much feedback right at the start. 

Of course, if you did decide to go for the longer story, I'd be happy to read along, offering encouragement and 'likes' as I go.  

 

 

Edited October 31, 2017 by KSK

[SiriusRocketry]

Just general, thanks.

Whoops, I was replying to @steuben

[steuben]

You've got the background plot hook with the question of what happened to Malmy. I'm half hoping a twist on the reveal of those events.

A little bit heavy on the K-nouns for my taste. But, that's a cooked carrots issue.

"In fact, Bob would reference this exact moment when he, along with six other kerbals, aerobraked in Jool’s atmosphere to slow their interplanetary approach...but that is a story for another day. " The emoticon sticks out a fair bit since there aren't any used elsewhere in the story. You'll also want to drop  the "in fact" and " a story for another day." It doesn't look to fit with the rest of the narrative focus that you're using. I've only seen it used decently once. "The Neverending Story" by Michael Ende. I'm going to have to reread it to figure out the setup for that phrase.

Keep the story going though.

[Ten Key]

Okay, with a day to think on it (and an actual keyboard in front of me) I'd like to circle back and expound on the "theme" thing a bit. According to ye old internet, theme is "an idea that recurs in or pervades a work of art or literature". Theme is often treated as something you'd only see in English Lit classes, but for me it provides the essential threads that hold a story together. It provides continuity, and helps to focus the story in the reader's mind. 

Much of my writing consists of rather long chapters broken into smaller scenes, and I've had several instances where I felt each individual scene was good, but the chapter itself was not. . .the scenes did not work well together, did not flow naturally from one to the next. The chapter felt "boneless", like a collection of wind chimes with nothing to hold them together. Something to communicate to the reader, sometimes subtly and sometimes not, that all these scenes go together, all these scenes work together to communicate something beyond just basic plot.

Longer works will typically have several themes. . .short stories will have just a handful, perhaps just one. Trying to write with a theme in mind is difficult, but I think it's useful to go back through a draft and try to find the threads that might help tighten up the writing. This will then inform the editing process-- the writer will have a better idea of which things need to be cut and which ones need to be reinforced.

So, with all that in mind, I am seeing a useful thread in your story. . .

Quote

Bob allowed himself the luxury of a small grin, but nothing else. He hadn’t truly smiled in the six years since he had left the Mun, and he wasn’t going to start now. 

Here we have Bob. He is still angry about his experiences, for reasons he surely feels are justified. But, he's having to work at that anger, isn't he? Something is calling him back, calling them all back, despite their better judgment. 

Reading through your story, I'm reminded a bit of this, and I think that's your theme. "Why we do what we do", or "What drives us", or whatever you want to call it, this is the thread that could tie your whole story together. 

 

For general feedback. . .your story is generally well paced and engaging. It doesn't skip over critical details, nor does it linger needlessly. It does a good job conveying a sense of camaraderie between the characters. There are places where it seems like the story can't decide if it wants to be funny or serious, and there are some parts that could be cut to improve flow, but as a first draft this is a solid effort.  

 

Quote

Bob Kerman grumbled as he drove along the rutted, dirty dirt path. The faded red truck he was driving, scarred from a thousand hours of driving, sputtered as the uneven track pushed its suspension to the limit.

Try to avoid repeating words. In the first case, you could cut "dirty" out entirely. In the second, you could change that second "driving" to "use". 

 

Quote

Bob allowed himself the luxury of a small grin, but nothing else.

There is nothing wrong with this sentence. But I might change it to something like "Bob felt the corners of his mouth pulling upwards, and he fought the urge to smile." Reinforce the idea that Bob is having to fight against his own nature, and play a bit to that theme. 

In contrast. . .

Quote

The mention of the Mun stirred old memories in his head. An explosion. Tears. Salty, running down his face, fogging up his helmet…

 

No, he chided himself, that was before. Now I’m strong. Am I?

Am I?

 

Shaking his head to remove the incriminating thoughts, he was distracted by a shout. Jeb, the jumping kerbal, had almost been hit by the truck in Bob’s moment of absentmindedness. He stopped the truck and leapt out, fearing the worst, but Jeb was rolling on the floor laughing.

. . .the underlined portions don't really support the theme. They suggest that Bob is forcing himself to come back, rather than being drawn back in spite of himself. I would probably cut those lines, and change up the first part of that last paragraph to smooth the transition.

I don't want to tell you how to write your story-- I'm just offering the above as an example. Do you see what I'm talking about? Find the threads you like, the ones you want to focus on, and then use them to help you during the editing process.

 

Quote

Bob cleared the phlegm from his throat and spoke croakily:

I'm not sure the "phlegm" thing is working. 

And I think steuben is right. . .the "k" words are getting a little deep.

 

Quote

A smart-looking Kerbal in a business suit was knocking pool balls around on a table with a female scientist Bob vaguely recognized as Cadina Kerman, Wernher’s secretary assistant and the one who had suggested the efficient flight path for Iris 1, the first Mun probe.

 

Quote

“Welcome, all, to the Astronaut Complex!” Gene cried, throwing his arms wide. Someone booed, so Gene shot them an evil glance and carried on. “May I introduce Bob, Bill, Jebediah and Wernher Kerman!” Several kerbals clapped, One looked slightly starstruck, dropping the biscuit he had been dipping in his koffee. Gene cleared his throat, and resumed;

“Bill, Bob, Jeb and Wernher, may I introduce you to Tomster Kerman, our booster tester.” A kerbal with scorched pants waved at them- “Rebold Kerman, our experimental technologies designer.” A kerbal in a maroon checkered flannel grinned- “Brendal and Felipe Kerman, our astronauts in training-” A messy-haired kerbal in a white suit smiled, while the other white suited kerbal gaped (he was the starstruck one) “and last but not least, Valentina Kerman, our trainer and tracking station expert.”

The parenthetical explanation is a little awkward. I think it would be better to move the "starstruck" description down to the second paragraph and only do it once. 

 

Quote

“Why in Kerm’s name are we even here? You’re not thinking about restarting the space program...are you?” His comment was greeted with a profound silence. A mug smashed. The two trainees looked heartbroken, while Bill looked down at his boots. Jeb swore. Gene opened his mouth timidly and started to say something, but Bob cut him off.

I don't think the underlined quote is working. . .based on the preceding paragraphs, Gene is obviously trying to restart the space program. 

To clean this up a bit, and to play again with that "in our nature" theme, I might have Bob's tirade interrupted by that snark cart. Scene break. Then we come back to find Bob still unhappy, but the hot anger has been cooled into something closer to resignation by the snacks in his belly. Give the reader a bit more of what happened to Malmy, but maybe keep it in Bob's head. 

 

Writing something that is serious and funny at the same time is an art I have yet to master. And there are places in this story where the humor and the "weight of the moment" are kind of tripping over each other a bit. Maybe, a little more like this. . .

Quote

“Welcome, all, to the Astronaut Complex!” Gene cried, throwing his arms wide. Someone booed, so Gene shot them an evil glance and carried on and Gene chucked a billiard ball in the direction of the noise . “May I introduce Bob, Bill, Jebediah and Wernher Kerman!” Several kerbals clapped, One looked slightly starstruck, dropping the biscuit he had been dipping in his koffee. Gene cleared his throat, and resumed;

Quote

“One large Kerbretti pizza, one large koobish and onion pizza, three garlic krunchies, eleven bottles of Ker-wizz-fizz, an Extra-Extra large plate of djans with a jumbo chegg dip bucket and a sniggleberry sorbet for the special lady... He winked suggestively, Val stood up and went over to him. Bob was aghast… until she booted him in the sensitive parts. He staggered backwards and in a much higher voice pitch whined something about krakens and insane female kerbonauts before closing the door behind him. Wernher turned to Bob. and had just enough time to regret his words before catching a billiard ball with his face. 

 

Quote

“Can we fly it now, pleeeease?” Jeb pleaded.

Still on the subject of balancing humor and seriousness (and theme ), the above line feels like it should be the "outro" for the "introduce the rocket" scene. I think there is some room for a little bit of cutting here, but I think the joke works best if it sharply contrasts the rest of the scene. Our heroes take in the decrepit VAB, the cobbled together rocket, Wernher's seeming obliviousness to all the problems. And then maybe one of those birds lands on the rocket and something falls off of it. There's a moment of stunned silence, and then. . .

“Can we fly it now, pleeeease?” Jeb pleaded.

Scene Break.

I would cut out the crawler ride entirely. Open the next scene with Bob and friends in the final part of the countdown. You could maybe add some more thoughts about Malmy here. . .any tidbits you feel like dropping, this is a good place. And then a final sound off. . .Jeb, as the pilot, reports on the guidance system. Bill, the engineer, reports on the environmental systems. And Bob maybe has a bit of a moment. "Wait a minute, this is a suborbital flight! I'm a scientist, why am I even here!?" And Jeb makes a comment about not being able to reach the snack locker from the pilot's seat. Bob glares at him. Jeb turns serious, says "No, really, I can't reach the locker." and makes a grabbing motion. Bob hesitates a moment and then relents, and we get a bit of humor while giving Bob an opportunity to let go of his reticence. And from here on out, Bob's attitude improves markedly. 

 

Quote

Bob was thrown flat on his back, with a great view of the Mun in the darkening sky. He gazed up, and made a silent promise to the grave that he knew contained a kerbal with a smashed EVA visor and rips in the suit leg.

 

We’re coming back, Malmy. When or wherever I am, I’ll drop everything to get to you.

 

I promise.

^ This is good. It brings the story full circle, and leaves the door open for more if you're so inclined. But it also stands on it's own if that's where you decide to end the story.

[SiriusRocketry]

Wow! Thank you @Ten Key, It'll take me a good while to analyse all that stuff I'll keep my chapters as they were written, but will take your advice in for future edits/chapters.

 

Thank you guys, you are a great helpful group and one of the best writing communities I've discovered.

[SiriusRocketry]

Just something I forgot: We could continue the discussion about Jeb's Ride in its thread or PMs. No need to clog up this thread.

 

Also second chapter coming soon! 

[SiriusRocketry]

@steuben @KSK @Ten Keyis this thread still alive?

[steuben]

always alive. just sometimes it sleeps is all.

[SiriusRocketry]

Well, the thread's been asleep for a bit, so I decided to wake it up. 

I had an idea for a story, in which The Original Four get teleported to Saturn's rings after crashing into the 'floating platform' on Jool. They then land on Mars where Earth scientists mistake them for 'movie aliens' and send a manned mission to Mars to make contact.

 

If this has been used before, please let me know. Whaddya think, guys?

[Guest]

On 11/29/2017 at 1:11 PM, SiriusRocketry said:

Well, the thread's been asleep for a bit, so I decided to wake it up. 

I had an idea for a story, in which The Original Four get teleported to Saturn's rings after crashing into the 'floating platform' on Jool. They then land on Mars where Earth scientists mistake them for 'movie aliens' and send a manned mission to Mars to make contact

Why not? Go for it!

[CatastrophicFailure]

So, is this thread dead? 

Here’s a stylistic question: when beginning a sentence with a large number, a sentence that cannot be greacefully rephrased, should the number be written out or in digits? ie:

81,512 people did the hokey-pokey. 

Eighty-one thousand, five hundred and twelve people did the hokey pokey. 

“The hokey pokey was done by 81,512 people” just sounds awkward, as does, “done by 81,512 people, the hokey pokey was,” unless your speaker is short and green, that is. 

Which, come to think of it, actually does include most of our speakers... 

[SiriusRocketry]

Hey, CF. The thread has been hibernating for AGES now that you mention it. 

 

Maybe (hopefully) @KSK @Kuzzter @steuben and @Just Jimcan reboot the thread.

 

And to answer your question, I reckon spelling the digits out is more impressive from the reader's standpoint.

[KSK]

2 hours ago, CatastrophicFailure said:

So, is this thread dead? 

Here’s a stylistic question: when beginning a sentence with a large number, a sentence that cannot be greacefully rephrased, should the number be written out or in digits? ie:

81,512 people did the hokey-pokey. 

Eighty-one thousand, five hundred and twelve people did the hokey pokey. 

“The hokey pokey was done by 81,512 people” just sounds awkward, as does, “done by 81,512 people, the hokey pokey was,” unless your speaker is short and green, that is. 

Which, come to think of it, actually does include most of our speakers... 

Inconsistent with this I am. Trust my feelings I do.

"T minus twelve...eleven....ten...nine...." reads better to me than "T minus 12...11...10...9", possibly for the reason that @SiriusRocketry mentioned - it's a big moment, so spelling out the numbers is more impressive. On the other hand:  "Pioneer copies - go at 36." (again, to me) reads better than "Pioneer copies - go at thirty six." The first seems more clipped and to the point, which seems more appropriate for a quick status report.

For your example, if you absolutely need an exact number, I think I'd go with writing it out in digits. Otherwise, I'd fudge the exact value a bit and spell it out: i.e. over eight thousand people did the hokey-pokey.

Dig out my copy of Strunk & White this evening I shall and see what wisdom it may impart.

Edited January 10, 2018 by KSK

[steuben]

The rule that I've always followed is write the number out as words... unless it is math or a year. 

But yeah, it is the number more than the style that's tripping that example up. A precise number like that is a Chekhov's Bullet. It's isn't the gun itself, but it should point to the presence of the gun.

[Just Jim]

3 hours ago, KSK said:

Inconsistent with this I am. Trust my feelings I do.

"T minus twelve...eleven....ten...nine...." reads better to me than "T minus 12...11...10...9", possibly for the reason that @SiriusRocketry mentioned - it's a big moment, so spelling out the numbers is more impressive. On the other hand:  "Pioneer copies - go at 36." (again, to me) reads better than "Pioneer copies - go at thirty six." The first seems more clipped and to the point, which seems more appropriate for a quick status report.

For your example, if you absolutely need an exact number, I think I'd go with writing it out in digits. Otherwise, I'd fudge the exact value a bit and spell it out: i.e. over eight thousand people did the hokey-pokey.

I have to agree... I really don't have any hard and fast rule about numbers. I just trust my instincts on whether using actual numbers, or spelling them out, looks right in the context of what I'm writing.

 

[Guest]

My medium has certain space constraints--that is, I need to fit everything in word balloons, and I need to fit word balloons into panels without covering up anything important So,  I tend to spell them out--unless I'm out of room in which case I use numerals.

Countdowns are a special case, of course--and I agree that the "gravity" of the situation helps determine whether to use numerals or words. Also, in comics or in prose, part of the art is determining the pace the reader feels. Here are two countdowns, both from Chapter 4 of Eve: Order Zero:

--First, the launch of Val and Lisa in the Mortingale. I wanted to get it all on one page, and I wanted the reader to process everything relatively quickly because there are other things happening in parallel--Jeb and Bill are in a different craft, and are on their way to commit a long list of (alleged) offenses. So, I use numerals, and I even put several of them in the same balloon--but note that when we get to the really important numbers, I spell them out AND add punctuation. Yes, #itsthelittlethings...

---and then later in the same chapter we have the launch of the M7 Eve Ascent Vehicle from KSC2. In this sequence EVERY number is important, and I also wanted to have it ticking off urgently, building the moment while Bill and Mort argued. So--every number as a word, in its own balloon, punctuated. Also note the parallel placement, and which balloons/panels I chose to overlap and which I didn't.

"...NO ONE GETS LEFT BEHIND!!!"  

Theoretically both countdowns are happening at exactly the same pacing, one second per printed number. But all the choices I described make the reader feel them at entirely different paces--in the case of Mortingale, getting the ship off the pad smoothly and competently. In the case of the M7, building (I hope!) tension and excitement to prepare the reader for the big moment on the next page following.

So, whether to spell out or not?  "It depends" is the ALWAYS the answer... but what that really means is, "It depends on what you want to make the reader feel at that moment"...and that's what makes the craft of writing an art.                                                                                                

                                                     

[DarkOwl57]

If anyone wants to help me, I'm open to ideas on how to make my story better. For me, I think my problem is the intro and the middle, as well as trying to figure out fillers. See, I know kinda sorta what I want to happen like in 2060, but no clue as to what I'm going to do like tomorrow (In the story, obviously. Tomorrow IRL I've got 2 basketball games). I want to get the story out, but then my timeline would go crazy (2035, 2036, 2037, 2040, etc.). Overall it's just a big mess. Also, the intro and middle. Any help? At all???

 

(Story)

 

[steuben]

Short of reading what you've written, which I'll probably have to do to give you a specific answer.

Are you looking to define a general story time line from 2000 to 2060? Or specific events and place them relative to each other?

 

[DarkOwl57]

18 minutes ago, steuben said:

Short of reading what you've written, which I'll probably have to do to give you a specific answer.

Are you looking to define a general story time line from 2000 to 2060? Or specific events and place them relative to each other?

 

Basically, the story (Part 1) is the story of Jeb being a K1 (The kerbal equivalent of IRL F1) driver. He was born in 2017, First career K1 race in 2035, and (I'm planning) a career lasting (spoilers) about 26 years. 

[steuben]

I think you'll want to establish two timelines. The first is the general 'verse time line. Major events, tech changes, etc. You'll want this one to extend beyond Jeb's career in both directions. The second will be the Jeb timeline, this one will layout all his wins, loss, shows. The didn't finishes, to quote Pratchett, "Highly skilled at achieving results, when [Doughnut Jimmy] treated 'Dire Fortune', it didn't fall over until the last furlong. A miracle perhaps, considering the fact that the horse had, in fact, died coming up into the starting line." Assuming he's that good. The other stuff in his life. Extend the line a few years beyond the end of the story, unless you're going for a hard now what ending.

For the actual process, I'm going to recommend getting a bunch of index cards. Write out the event, some details, and roughly date them. For example quarter 2020. Lay them out in order. Now put in the fine detail dates. This will let you see if there's any places where you've got things clumped up, or large gaps in the time line. You can use Excel for it as well, but it doesn't have the same kind of visual thing going for it. And it is easier to shuffle around events.

 

[KSK]

@steuben - I like the index card idea. I'll have to give that a try for the rest of First Flight, where I'm currently trying to rein in and tie up a number of story threads. It seems that story threads are rather like greased eels in that regard.

@DarkOwl57 To some extent I think this is a problem with episodic writing - unless you want to fix any timeline errors by retconning earlier chapters, then you're kind of stuck with what you've already posted, which means that you need to do more planning than if you were just writing a first draft and then editing it. I can also sympathise with your particular comment about knowing the ending but not knowing how to get there! More generally, I've seen it said that writing is an art form where you can knock out an epic battle scene in a couple of hours and then get stuck for days on the best way to describe two characters crossing a room. Sometimes writing the filler is the hardest part of all.

I would give @steuben's index cards a go (or something similar) but with one caveat - don't get too hung up on following the timeline right to the end. If you think of a better direction for the story mid way through  - go for it! And if that means that everything else (including the ending) needs to be rethought, then so be it. As mentioned, I think planning is important for episodic writing but, speaking personally, too much of it can leave you feeling like you're writing on rails, which gets a bit soul crushing.  Especially if you get part way through and realize that your plan isn't as good as you thought it was!

Sooo - planning is important but too much planning is bad? Not the most helpful of answers, but as  @Kuzzter said - it's one of those things that makes this craft an art.

Finally, this might not be exactly the right thread for this but if anyone hasn't read Life at the Top - it's definitely worth a look! I was a bit skeptical about a  Kerbal style Formula 1 story but I'm very glad I decided to give it a go.

Edited January 10, 2018 by KSK

[SiriusRocketry]

3 hours ago, DarkOwl57 said:

Basically, the story (Part 1) is the story of Jeb being a K1 (The kerbal equivalent of IRL F1) driver. He was born in 2017, First career K1 race in 2035, and (I'm planning) a career lasting (spoilers) about 26 years. 

26 years! Wow! The longest career of any F1 driver IIRC was Rubens Barrichello (19 seasons) so Jeb is gonna be in it for the long run. I'm a F1 fanatic, so the idea of a Kerbal             F1-based story sounded too good to pass. @DarkOwl57

[KSK]

Okay. Strunk & White recommend not spelling out numbers unless a character is using them in speech.

So Jeb could be a reservist in the 305th Air Squadron but presumably might refer to it in conversation as the three-oh-fifth.

Not completely sure I like that but the source is impeccable.

 

[Just Jim]

5 hours ago, DarkOwl57 said:

See, I know kinda sorta what I want to happen like in 2060, but no clue as to what I'm going to do like tomorrow

I think I spend most of my time thinking about this as well. I agree with @steuben... Emiko has two timelines... three actually. The overall timeline and plot, and several smaller ones, both sub-plots and timelines, on both Kerbin and Earth. It can get a little confusing at times, so I would also recommend either index cards, or a large loose-leaf notebook, with lots of extra paper, to keep notes.

One thing with Emiko is I've introduced lots of characters and situations, and try to keep the main characters busy with one thing or another... Preferably a couple groups of characters, doing two or three different things, so I can bounce around when I'm writing. 

For example, I'm currently doing an Elcano style road-trip, combined with the Groundstation challenge. This is just a sub-plot I added in because... well, just because I wanted to do it.  It's actually something you could think about.. a long road-rally style race, or a complete circumnavigation race... But anyway, worked into this are a couple even smaller sub-plots, like the scientists on-board trying to solve the riddle of Emiko's DNA, and young Theo, who's experimenting with starting a hydroponic garden... And let's not forget Jeb and Val, who think they're hiding the fact they've become a couple.  

Little details... these are how I fill out the chapters.... And honestly, half the time I don't know I'm going to add in something new until it happens to feel right. Again, it can get confusing, and you have to be careful not to contradict something you wrote earlier, like @KSK so wisely pointed out. So I keep a large notebook, and I'm constantly going back and re-reading stuff, so I'm sure my facts are (more or less) straight.

Edited January 10, 2018 by Just Jim

[adsii1970]

6 hours ago, DarkOwl57 said:

If anyone wants to help me, I'm open to ideas on how to make my story better. For me, I think my problem is the intro and the middle, as well as trying to figure out fillers. See, I know kinda sorta what I want to happen like in 2060, but no clue as to what I'm going to do like tomorrow.

This is the thing with most writers - and not just you. And as @Just Jim said, in his well-put observation, write yourself some notes or something to help you keep track of things. I have a lot of little loose ends from the first few chapters to fix because I didn't begin keeping track of things, characters, events, until Chapter 7 of Kerny's journal. Many readers will not even realize the lose ends out there, but when I re-read what I've already written, the loose ends stare me in the face. So, I've started cataloging those as well.

Also, find someone you can trust that you can throw ideas at and get feedback. For me, I use @Just Jim. He is a dear friend who I trust not to spill the beans. There are times I will throw an idea at him and if the feedback I get isn't what I expected, then I simply shelve that idea (on an index card) and revisit it later. There are even times he has given me gentile nudges about something I might have forgotten about.

As for the timeline, where @Just Jim has two to worry about (Earth and Kerbin), I only have one - and I am grateful. The only other timeline remotely possible would involve Ralph, but well, he's harmless. And I think I did a good job explaining him and his origins. But other than that, I have one timeline and only from Kerny's point of view. And this made it necessary for me to adapt some unique ways to relay information to the reader, such as the expository entries. They provide the background information needed without clogging up the story.

 

1 hour ago, Just Jim said:

One thing with Emiko is I've introduced lots of characters and situations, and try to keep the main characters busy with one thing or another... Preferably a couple groups of characters, doing two or three different things, so I can bounce around when I'm writing. 

I do this too. After all, in real life, we come across folks all the time. Some stick around, and others we never see again. So this is where fiction can benefit from a lesson in real life.

The thing is you have to put value on the characters you create. Karloff, for instance, has become a favorite of mine. He's a no-nonsense kind of Kerbal, proficient at what he does, and is an over-achiever. But he also knows how to have fun. Then there are those minor characters we see once in a while. Maybe I didn't like the facial expressions they made in response to something. Maybe they just didn't cooperate, or I had a difficult time getting them in the screen capture just right -- then well, they fade into the background. And sometimes, a background character that I only planned to use once or twice works out better than what I intended - and they end up sticking around. This is the case of Ensign Triy. I received a couple of private messages from readers NOT wanting to see her go. They were "impressed" by the way her character, in spite of an approaching anomaly, decided to become a stowaway on the original Excursion. And to be honest, she gave me an opportunity I hadn't thought of before (to be revealed later).

Spoiler

Did you really think I'd tell you here?

 

1 hour ago, Just Jim said:

Little details... these are how I fill out the chapters.... And honestly, half the time I don't know I'm going to add in something new until it happens to feel right. Again, it can get confusing, and you have to be careful not to contradict something you wrote earlier, like @KSK so wisely pointed out. So I keep a large notebook, and I'm constantly going back and re-reading stuff, so I'm sure my facts are (more or less) straight.

Yes, this. I put a lot of detail in my story as well as in the screen shots I capture. It adds dimension to the story and allows you to have a way to bring some depth to your characters. Could I simply slam another ship into orbit, launch Kerny and his crew back into space, and go from there? Sure, I could. But we have all heard the term, refit, enough to know exactly what Bones meant in this video:

 

But anyhow, you get the idea. In Kerny's journal, not only does he have his chief engineer working on the refit, but he has Dr. Angelo and the rest of his staff of engineers. It will be another two chapters before Kerny is back aboard his ship... But as @Just Jim said, it is the small details like this which makes the reader want more. I've had a few comments on mine where readers have actually responded rather well to the little details I've included.

Anyhow, that's my two cents.