A Thread for Writers to talk about Writing

[SiriusRocketry]

4 hours ago, KSK said:

Ahh - I hadn't considered that. Might be best to ask one of them - they're an understanding bunch. If they turn out not to be happy with you running an alt, then please do restart the story as Sirius!

If that helps?

It's not running the alt that's the problem - after certain memories associated with said account I'd be happy to let it die. However, the first two chapters were published under that account and if I republish my work on this main account then there may be complications - accusations of copying the original thread, etc.

I'll see if I can contact the moderators and hopefully work out a solution. I'm really inspired to work on KSP fiction after re-reading Clarke's 2001: a space odyssey for the fourth time (never seen the film) and rewatching Interstellar for the sixth time in quarantine. Right now I'm running a Jool-5 mission report and incorporating a storyline along with the reports; partially inspired by the incredible Titan by Stephen Baxter. I'm looking forward to expanding it.

[RoninFrog]

4 hours ago, SiriusRocketry said:

It's not running the alt that's the problem - after certain memories associated with said account I'd be happy to let it die. However, the first two chapters were published under that account and if I republish my work on this main account then there may be complications - accusations of copying the original thread, etc.

I'll see if I can contact the moderators and hopefully work out a solution. I'm really inspired to work on KSP fiction after re-reading Clarke's 2001: a space odyssey for the fourth time (never seen the film) and rewatching Interstellar for the sixth time in quarantine. Right now I'm running a Jool-5 mission report and incorporating a storyline along with the reports; partially inspired by the incredible Titan by Stephen Baxter. I'm looking forward to expanding it.

I'm pretty sure the moderators can get your IP adress, so you cannot escape.

[KSK]

And on a completely different note, seeing as this is thread for writers to talk about writing, I thought this might be of interest to some folks.

http://www.timclarepoet.co.uk/the-100-day-writing-challenge/

Essentially it's a series of short writing exercises, one per day, each of them lasting about 20 minutes. That tends to be 10 minutes of listening followed by 10 minutes of writing. The exercises themselves start off quite gently, building up to some free-writing sessions and now (at Day 28), things are just starting to get a wee bit more technical.

I'm not sure I completely buy into the theory behind the various exercises but I have found them a nice easy way of getting back into the writing groove after taking a few weeks off after finishing First Flight. Your mileage may vary but, at 20 minutes a day, the Challenge is not exactly a time sink if you want to give it a go, even if you eventually decide it's not really for you.

[KerballingSmasher]

On 6/30/2020 at 12:34 AM, RoninFrog said:

you cannot escape.

that was dark...

[steuben]

Just finished watching "SCORE: A FILM MUSIC DOCUMENTARY", which as of 2021-05-27 is available on Hoopla.  Those of us that build videos, it is a suggested watch. It givens a flying overview by the masters of the OST of scoring a film. Yes, I collect bits and pieces about the craft. I have some delusions of epic grandeur that someday I'll somehow get that call from <insert major industry person>  that it doesn't matter. You. Always. Say. Yes. Most days though it is just delusions of grandeur that I am merely mediocre. 

 

But, when I carve a piece out of that blank sheet of paper; part of what guides me is music, as the Groundbound: OSTs can attest. Sometimes it is the source that piece tells a story, what is it? Sometimes it is the framework for the story, this is the plot, this is the music,  how can I align the beats of the music with the beats of the story? Other times, it is the polish that finalizes the piece.

For example, "Last Flight of a Sow", queue up Audiomachine's Black Sunrise or Sacrifice as you read though it. That one was written from a single line "But, the project was not without cost." The music was the framework which developed the piece.

There is Two Steps From Hell's Sungrazer, queue it up for the first six paragraphs or so of Groundbound 17.5 (chapter number subject to change). You will have to stretch the first paragraph for most of  the track. I had the music for it, but not the text. Still not thrilled with that chapter. It's a triple translation of a 'Nam vet that I read regularly. So I know I have lost a fair bit in the translations.

Lastly there is Approaching Nirvana's Love's Inclination for Groundbound, 26. Start it up when Kalerie walks in front of the panel. Since that chapter is from Linus's point of view the track works, or at least I like to think so. 

Edited May 27, 2021 by steuben

[steuben]

Sigh.. yet another history of Kerbin... eventually... maybe...

 

Quote

"But, for want of a nail;  it seems we would have chosen the other road in the wood."
Forward, "An Alternate Shape of History" by <TBD>

How do you present a Kerbin history that isn't just a list of years and one line descriptions of events? Probably a better question is, how to write it so that it isn't a boring slog? Okay, it's history, so I know that will be an uphill battle against boring.  

I know that part of the answer is slicing out the huge tracks of geologic history and pre-industrial history.  This would leave us with roughly the time between the turns of the centuries. Roughly the English Edwardian Era to the 90s for us.  Not that, with any luck, it would be long enough to get boring. My plan is just a precis of history for reference. I really don't want or need to cover the alternate history.  So I'll end up with just the first few sections of the "book". 

 

Quote

"He said they were tall, lean, with eyes sunk deep into their heads. It was like he was just along for the ride, experiencing what they experienced without control. They were remarkably kerbal, right up until they weren't."
Forward, "An Alternate Shape of History" by <TBD> 

Another part of how I'm thinking of preventing, maybe, some of the  boring bits is stealing using elements of "The Shape of Things to Come" and "The Shadow Out of Time".  But this hasn't been a frequently gimmick, probably for … reasons.  At least I'm not immediately recalling many uses of it.  The complexity and plausibility of it being a couple of reasons. 

A little bit abstract and unfocused. So to focus it a bit.  

I have this sketch of a book, "An Alternate Shape of History", penned by <TBD>, which is based on the notes of an unnamed essayist friend. This essayist collected the notes of a history of a different world, through a series of dreams/visions. On Kerbin; the League of Nations worked, the Cold War started  without WW2, 'Da Bomb was developed in peace time and brown pants everyone ten years later, the MOL program got off the ground because high resolution remote visual sensing took longer to develop, etc. But to wrote a whole history in detail is more work than I'm prepared to put in.  And to spare the slog of having to read through an entire world history only the modern history of the "Western"  sphere is presented at an overview level.  

I've been  chewing on this post for a week and can't seem to get my question  much better than this. So before I make a third loop I am opening the question to discussion. 

Edited March 8, 2021 by steuben

[KSK]

Tricky.  My personal answer turned out to be writing about the recent history of Kerbin, essentially covering Mercury to Apollo in Terran terms, and then onwards to the departure of the kerbal's first interplanetary voyage.  The reasons for that voyage were, ultimately, rooted in ancient kerbal history, so bits and pieces of that history were referred back to as the story unfolded. Although doing it that way ended up being somewhere north of 450,000 words, which (I'm guessing) puts it into the 'more work than I'm prepared to put in' category.

In general though, alternate histories do kind of lend themselves to big sweeping works. Finding a middle ground between that and a list of dates is more difficult.

You could maybe write a story about that essayist friend and how those dreams and visions impact the world they're living in?  You could start with them as a young person, living in London, dreaming about small green aliens flying their first rockets, and being rudely awakened by a V2 attack.  Then the rest of the story becomes a tale of how those visions of Kerbin reshape Terran history and society. For example, he could join the Black Arrow program and become a storied rocket engineer, most of which engineering  he learned from his visions of kerbal rocketry. Because of that, the UK gets its own space program which has other knock-on effects.

Although that would end up being two alternate histories woven into one story. Interesting structure but I can see it being a whole ton of work.

So how about a simpler montage of  shorter pieces showing your narrator getting older,  witnessing various spaceflight milestones in the 60s (culminating with Apollo 11) and then becoming increasingly disheartened during the Shuttle era. All the while he's having these visions of the Kerbals forging ahead with their space program, and other snippets of kerbal history explaining why or how they're doing it?

 

Edited March 8, 2021 by KSK

[steuben]

I'm running the other way.  I'm stealing using as a structural template "The Shape Of Things To Come" by Wells ... my little green essayist's dream-dial would regularly drift, for Reasons!, to our reality rather than the usual zany hi-jinks that dreams entail. His author friend, <TBD>, took the notes of his dreams and managed, with some work, to assemble it into a narrative whole. I've got the forward zero-drafted and the years and events outline of history which will form the appendix. Given the size and variety of kerbal-kind a world wide history is a fair bit of work, so I'm focusing on just the "western" world and KSP specifically after its creation.

[OutInSpace]

Hey all,

I was linked here by steuben, and seeing as I've just finished putting up the first chapter of my story - Network Effect - I figured I'd take the opportunity to ask for some outside opinion on my work!

Take your best shot at anything; as I mention in the thread, this is my first serious attempt at a long-form story, and I'm looking to do my very best. Any tips on formatting would also be helpful - I'm not sure how I feel about the way it changes when I translate it from my Google doc to the forum for posting.

Thanks!

[steuben]

You may have to expand on how the railgun team knows how they've side-stepped relativity. The brief flash, as it were, we've gotten so far seems to point to a fancy mess cleaning machine. 

Barsoom Ave, a shout-out/foreshadow/or just a cool name?

In Bill's introduction if he's doing it, or has done it, you don't need to attach "personally". Shaped charges aren't usually used for stage separation, as best I'm given to understand. Usually it's done with explosive bolts. NASA's design margins start at 50% with broken piece testing, and 100% with paper testing.

 

[OutInSpace]

42 minutes ago, steuben said:

You may have to expand on how the railgun team knows how they've side-stepped relativity. The brief flash, as it were, we've gotten so far seems to point to a fancy mess cleaning machine.

That's planned for the next chapter :)

As for Barsoom, that's just a cool name/semi-obscure reference. Glad someone else got it though.

And whoops, I guess shaped charges *was* wrong after all. Same for that grammar slip up. Off to the edit button I go!

Thank you!

[KSK]

Firstly - and most importantly - that's a great start! The formatting looks fine to me as well.

I have a couple of minor nitpicks but some of those are personal style choices (I'm not big on 'K words' so Space-K jarred a bit) and I think some are probably just 'writer getting into the groove', so I won't focus on those. 

A couple of things that did stick out.

In the prologue, it would have been nice to see the Widget, reappear somewhere, even if that was only a short distance away. At present we just see a very power hungry way of disintegrating something.   Maybe it reappears in the next room or something and then you could have Bill lead Wernher through to see it and watch Wernher's jaw drop as he figures out the implications. Or, it reappears in the right room but not quite in the right place, which segues into Bill's warnings about molecular decomposition and indeterminate end states. (That was top quality technobabble by the way.) After all, if they can't aim their jump drive precisely across a few metres then it's clearly not quite ready for spaceflight yet.

[Side note - was the Widget inspired by the time displacement generator from the T2 novelization? It definitely had that vibe to it.]

The other thing that stuck out was the conversation with the President. It started well but Leon was remarkably slow on the uptake after just being told about an FTL drive.  Maybe tweak that section a bit to have him typing away, not really listening and then replace the 'I'd hardly call you a national security asset' line with a 'wait a minute - did you just say faster than light?' or some such wording. Then have Wernher launch into his speech.

But really, those are minor points. Bring on the next chapter - I look forward to it very much!

Edited March 15, 2021 by KSK

[OutInSpace]

3 hours ago, KSK said:

In the prologue, it would have been nice to see the Widget, reappear somewhere, even if that was only a short distance away. At present we just see a very power hungry way of disintegrating something.  

[Side note - was the Widget inspired by the time displacement generator from the T2 novelization? It definitely had that vibe to it.]

See, I would have done that, except that the Widget is based on the classic FTL Drive Continued mod. If you've never played with it, it's basically a jump drive with some caveats, the first of which is "trying to jump from too far down in a gravity well = being reduced to a cloud of atoms." I'm planning to roll some explanations into the next chapter though. Oh, and I don't even know what T2 stands for, soo

Thanks for your help!

[steuben]

"Terminator 2", I was thinking "Event Horizon" myself.

[jimmymcgoochie]

Hello fellow writers. I'm looking for an outside opinion about a couple of things in my story which I'm hoping will help me with the next few chapters.

Link: https://forum.kerbalspaceprogram.com/index.php?/topic/193699-audacity-memoirs-of-a-kerbonaut/

First of all- did I go too dark with Val's backstory in Chapter 9? I was originally going to go with something comparatively tame-running away from home to join the Space Program or something like that- but then that idea came to me one day and it has subsequently led to quite a complex subplot that I'm right in the middle of now, but which could be a bit too far for what is in the end a story about some little green aliens making rockets.

And second- am I overdoing it with the references to CatastrophicFailure's Krakens trilogy? Reading that was a big part of the reason I started writing my own KSP story, but I don't want to lean too heavily on it; I've also written a short section that copies a poem/song from the second Krakens tale, more or less word for word, which I think would work well in my own story- but not if it's crossing the line between making a reference and blatantly plaigarising/ripping it off.

Thanks in advance!

 

[KSK]

I can't really answer the second question. Since you're not writing new stuff into his story (putting words on his page so to speak), my gut instinct is that it's okay and just making a reference but obviously  @CatastrophicFailure has to be the judge of that.

The first question though, I can answer, and my answer is 'no it's not too dark'. 

In my opinion there's no reason why a story about small green aliens building rockets has to be all fluffy and gee-whiz and anodyne but, personal opinion (and my own work) aside, I would also say that quite a few of the longer running and popular stories on the forum have been distinctly dark. Sometimes in an obvious way, sometimes less so. An early example was @czokletmuss's Grand Tour, which was definitely not a happy tale, then there's the Kraken stories which deal with some pretty dark stuff. Then there's @Kuzzter's stories which are less overtly dark in presentation but end up with a race of pacifists losing their innocence and being introduced to the concept of murder.

Edit:   It also occurs to me that the KSP canon attitude of 'explosions fun, never mind about the crew' is helpful when promoting a rocket building game that's based around learning by failure but would make for an exceedingly dark story if stuck to rigorously. 

Edited March 22, 2021 by KSK

[jimmymcgoochie]

Thanks for the feedback @KSK, it’s good to know that I’m not merrily hurtling along the completely wrong path.

[KSK]

Hey folks,

This has nothing to do with KSP but it's very much to do with writing and this is the part of the forum where the writers hang out so hopefully the powers that be will be lenient.  

As of about an hour ago I'm officially a published author!  

Well, I say 'I' but it's more like 'we'. Huge thanks to @CatastrophicFailure (again!) for proof-reading, editing and generally applying the polish.

It's a short story, titled The Cactus Farmers, and it's been accepted for an upcoming edition of my local science fiction and fantasy magazine. Not sure exactly which edition yet but if anyone's interested, I'll gladly share the link (when I get it) via PMs!

 

Edited April 26, 2021 by KSK

[Just Jim]

11 minutes ago, KSK said:

Hey folks,

This has nothing to do with KSP but it's very much to do with writing and this is the part of the forum where the writers hang out so hopefully the powers that be will be lenient.  

As of about an hour ago I'm officially a published author!  

Well, I say 'I' but it's more like 'we'. Huge thanks to @CatastrophicFailure (again!) for proof-reading, editing and generally applying the polish.

It's a short story, titled The Cactus Farmers, and it's been accepted for an upcoming edition of my local science fiction and fantasy magazine. Not sure exactly which edition yet but if anyone's interested, I'll gladly share the link (when I get it) via PMs!

 

OMG... let me be the first to say Congrats!!!  That's awesome!!!   
How do I get a copy when it comes out?

[KSK]

Thanks Jim!

I’ll sling you a link to their website in the morning. It’s a paid for magazine - print edition comes out twice a year, electronic edition more often than that. Not sure exactly how much more often off the top of my head.

The current edition has a budget version too which is basically ‘if you can’t afford this, write to us here and we’ll send you a coupon to cover your costs.’ Obviously, I can’t promise that they’ll keep that going but I can tell you that it fits with the ethos for their live events which all run on a pay-what-you-can-afford (even if that’s zero) basis. Even for the events with authors you might have heard of, depending on which flavours of sci-fi you prefer.

Edited April 26, 2021 by KSK

[CatastrophicFailure]

7 hours ago, KSK said:

Well, I say 'I' but it's more like 'we'. Huge thanks to @CatastrophicFailure (again!) for proof-reading, editing and generally applying the polish.

I deny any and all responsibility. 

The Story was already there, I just gave it a quick poke to keep it going straight. It’s a good and solid work, and most definitely Worth Seeing. But I shan’t spoil. 
 

Spoiler

It involves... cacti...

....maybe....

 

On 3/21/2021 at 4:45 PM, jimmymcgoochie said:

And second- am I overdoing it with the references to CatastrophicFailure's Krakens trilogy? Reading that was a big part of the reason I started writing my own KSP story, but I don't want to lean too heavily on it; I've also written a short section that copies a poem/song from the second Krakens tale, more or less word for word, which I think would work well in my own story- but not if it's crossing the line between making a reference and blatantly plaigarising/ripping it off.

 Bit late to the discussion, I suppose, my own muse remains on a bit of a hiatus after the last year or so.  I do not (yet) profess familiarity with the work, but I certainly can’t be one to complain about references, given how many I myself have blatantly ripped off word for word um... borrowed.  I would say let The Story lead you where it will, every bit of the same you’ve ever consumed will nudge you along this way and that, whether or not you’re aware of it. For my own mush, I’ve just found it helpful not to resist and just hang a lampshade right on ‘em, imitation the sincerest form of flattery and all that, each blatant plagiarism subtle allusion cast down with love, which I suppose is what makes all the difference. 

...which will probably do nothing to sway the judge and I should have just settled out of court.

I really can’t complain on “dark,” either, life is imitating art a bit much lately. yeesh. 

[KSK]

Quick update after consulting the Powers that Be.

I'm being published in Shoreline of Infinity.  As mentioned, I'm not sure which edition yet (will update this post when I do) but in the meantime, if anyone wants to take a look around and see what they're all about - well there's the link.   

They're good people and worth checking out. I may be a teeny bit biased right now  but I can also honestly say that I would have told you the same thing a month ago!

[Mukita12]

Hello everyone. So i've just wrote the first chapter on my forum story which essentially is a prologue. Can anyone be kind enough to give feedback on it and tell me where to improve?

The link:

 

[steuben]

Quote

All Mosenbly needed now was to wait for another forty days so that his unit and him would be transported back to Heisenburg, the capital and have another unit replacing him.

It feels a bit long for a sentence. Perhaps something along the lines of:
All Mosenbly needed was to wait forty days till him and his unit were rotated back to the capital, Heisenburg.

Steven King once said, "the second draft should be ninety percent of the length of the first draft."  Try to cut out extra words and rework things along those lines. You don't need to be sparse with words, but we aren't paid by the word here either.

 

Quote

(The code)

WE-ARE-UNDER--AT____--BY--THE____--SEND REI___

  Mosenbly placed the paper on the table again which was grabbed by Minley. Could it be a joke? Or was the radar station under attack by the Hartfordian Military and was trying to order Mosenbly and his Company to report it to the HQ. This didn’t sit well with him. The radar station usually sent this kind of joke every now and then but something was off to him.

  “Try to further decode those static, it could be something important” Mosenbly ordered flatly.

Not so much code as message. And you can't decode static, by rough definition. But, you can clean it up, though it does depend a bit on the tech being used. How did the message come in? Coded vs. Plaintext, priority channel vs. regular vs, emergency, etc. Have Mosenbly probe a bit to either feed or quell is unease. As a stylistic thing maybe place a random character before and after each break. Though again it depends on the comm-tech being used.  

Quote

washing their farm with pesticide using a plane.

It's dusting their farm with pesticides.

Which brings us to...

Quote

However, the roar grew louder and louder before it finally became cleared to him. It wasn’t a plane. It was a helicopter.

A chopper and a prop plane, especially a low and slow duster, have different sounds.  A whine/buzz for the duster which is only heard closer in. A deeper heard/felt beat that's heard for a while first. 

[Mukita12]

10 hours ago, steuben said:

It feels a bit long for a sentence. Perhaps something along the lines of:
All Mosenbly needed was to wait forty days till him and his unit were rotated back to the capital, Heisenburg.

Steven King once said, "the second draft should be ninety percent of the length of the first draft."  Try to cut out extra words and rework things along those lines. You don't need to be sparse with words, but we aren't paid by the word here either.

 

Not so much code as message. And you can't decode static, by rough definition. But, you can clean it up, though it does depend a bit on the tech being used. How did the message come in? Coded vs. Plaintext, priority channel vs. regular vs, emergency, etc. Have Mosenbly probe a bit to either feed or quell is unease. As a stylistic thing maybe place a random character before and after each break. Though again it depends on the comm-tech being used.  

It's dusting their farm with pesticides.

Which brings us to...

A chopper and a prop plane, especially a low and slow duster, have different sounds.  A whine/buzz for the duster which is only heard closer in. A deeper heard/felt beat that's heard for a while first. 

Hmmm Alright, thanks for the input, i'll edit it soon after exam