According to the Express, it's dangerous to go to Mars because of deadly bacteria

[NFUN]

You know an article is going to be good when the first words are "Space boffins". Deadly bacteria like perchlorates, iron oxide and UV radiation would prevent us from visiting Mars.

http://www.express.co.uk/news/science/826949/Mars-move-OFF-DEADLY-bacteria-on-Red-Planet

Somebody got paid to write this

[Steel]

21 minutes ago, NFUN said:

You know an article is going to be good when the first words are "Space boffins". Deadly bacteria like perchlorates, iron oxide and UV radiation would prevent us from visiting Mars.

http://www.express.co.uk/news/science/826949/Mars-move-OFF-DEADLY-bacteria-on-Red-Planet

Somebody got paid to write this

And this is why we don't read the express! If you want to get an idea of the kind of people who do read it I'd encourage you to go and read through comments on articles on their Facebook page; if you don't lose faith in humanity within 30 seconds you're made of sterner stuff than I.

 

But in all seriousness, this is a newspaper who regularly publish stories about the impending end of the world, don't take their science section at all seriously.

Just to put this into context, here are four articles that they published TODAY:

END OF WORLD WARNING: Watch biggest explosion EVER on Moon as NASA warns we could be next [1]

ROGUE planet heading towards Earth, shock theory suggests [2]

REVEALED: The shocking reason USA ALLOWED Russia to win Space Race with Sputnik [3]

ALIEN SENSATION: Video of tests being carried out on 'suspected ET being' emerge [4]

 

EDIT: I found a fifth - bear in mind these were all published on the same day:

Extraordinary sight of 'alien UFO disappearing into portal seen across the globe' [5]

 

Edited July 10, 2017 by Steel

[NFUN]

I'm unfortunately well aware of the fact that British tabloids, especially their science sections, cause you to lose IQ. This was just noteworthy in its awfulness, outdoing even itself. You'd think that they'd first report the discovery of loveing life on Mars before fearmongering about it, but, well, it's the Express.

[Steel]

Even to someone as (sadly) aware of the Express as I am, this surprised me. I knew they published a lot of dreadful stories, but five in one day about the end of the world or alien sightings genuinely shocked (and saddened) me a little.

Edited July 10, 2017 by Steel

[Green Baron]

Just browsed through this week's Science issue and now that ... man, that's hard stuff ...

[WinkAllKerb'']

sometime even when i don't want too, windows drop some news pic on my desktop, after all it's my fault i not removed the sticker to stay in touch with the world at least a little

a few week back i have seen a pic about that one guy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_David_Steele

damn where i have thrown my vip backstage card ... i don't remind ... a well i don't have one in fact ^^ so let me guess for the best or the worth or simply the buzz who know xDr

Edited July 10, 2017 by WinkAllKerb''
did he wrote a book lately or wut ? no offense just curious

[cubinator]

Man, if Mars has deadly bacteria then just think how dangerous Earth must be. The whole atmosphere's been oxygenated for a billion years because of all the deadly bacteria there! We should never land there, it's far too awful a place. I mean look at this hellish landscape:

[NFUN]

12 minutes ago, cubinator said:

Man, if Mars has deadly bacteria then just think how dangerous Earth must be. The whole atmosphere's been oxygenated for a billion years because of all the deadly bacteria there! We should never land there, it's far too awful a place. I mean look at this hellish landscape:

Oh god! What is that on the bottom right? That's terrifying!

[cubinator]

Just now, NFUN said:

Oh god! What is that on the bottom right? That's terrifying!

It's full of bacteria!

[linuxgurugamer]

I treat rags like The Express, The Register, and other tabloids as nice fiction, usable for my role playing. They come up with ideas with I could never have come up with in my wildest dreams.

Edited July 11, 2017 by linuxgurugamer

[WinkAllKerb'']

5 hours ago, NFUN said:

Somebody got paid to write this

1700 1900 wut again ? /sarcasm /irony //selfcensored

see some people can write some stuff while some others "choose" not too, most of the time at least ((grumpf 3/4))

Edited July 11, 2017 by WinkAllKerb''

[Scotius]

Wow. How did they made the mental jump from toxicity of perchlorates (which is a fact) to discovery of deadly bacteria on Mars? With no steps inbetween at all? Genius. Pure genius. *hides in the corner to cry quietly*

[YNM]

There's a fair reason why you probably should only read text versions of british TV or radio media. Unfortunately, I only know one...

[kerbiloid]

4 hours ago, cubinator said:

The whole atmosphere's been oxygenated for a billion years because of all the deadly bacteria there! We should never land there, it's far too awful a place. I mean look at this hellish landscape:

Oxygen is one of the strongest oxydizer. Who would be so mad to live in that atmosphere?

P.S.
Maybe the deadly bacteria likes perchlorates, iron oxide and UV radiation?
Then we could populate Mars with it, and a bit later have friends on another planet.

[Van Disaster]

11 hours ago, YNM said:

There's a fair reason why you probably should only read text versions of british TV or radio media. Unfortunately, I only know one...

And people seem to wonder why us who had to grow up with them are so cynical... well, the Beeb has it's moments, but the print media isn't something I'd use if I ran out of toilet paper.

[Skylon]

I imagine these have all showed up on Facebook somewhere, or on a YouTube video with a thumbnail covered in red arrows and circles.

Edit: I mostly only read and watch BBC news

Edited July 11, 2017 by Skylon

[DDE]

@Steel, you forgot my favourite.

Is 14-legged killer squid found TWO MILES beneath Antarctica being weaponised by Putin?

[Steel]

55 minutes ago, DDE said:

@Steel, you forgot my favourite.

Is 14-legged killer squid found TWO MILES beneath Antarctica being weaponised by Putin?

That is outstanding. Sadly published on a different day to the ones above, nonetheless an amazing piece of journalism i'm sure!

Edited July 11, 2017 by Steel

[cubinator]

I never click on clickbait links. Except Don't Click This.

[_Augustus_]

I don't know where I heard this but I think it sums this up:

"If they actually knew anything about the things they reported on, they wouldn't be reporters."

[Van Disaster]

Well, yes - that's along the lines of "those who can't do, teach".

Putin found Cthulhu, eh. Marvellous.

As for news outlets, I tend to use Reuters also; get syndicated news before it's rebranded. Of course that has the problems of generic reporting, but it's another source.

Edited July 11, 2017 by Van Disaster

[NFUN]

Wow. They updated the headline to say "CHEMICALS" rather than "BACTERIA", but the first sentence is still the same, still claiming that we found bacteria on the planet.

[WinkAllKerb'']

next time may be they gonna said they found muad-dib witch eradicated the bacteria in it's stomach using press spice magic xDr oh oh oh this just too much ^^

Edited July 11, 2017 by WinkAllKerb''

[kerbiloid]

41 minutes ago, NFUN said:

They updated the headline to say "CHEMICALS" rather than "BACTERIA", but the first sentence is still the same, still claiming that we found bacteria on the planet.

While they were printing the paper, bacteria died, poisoned with perchlorates.

[Kevin Kyle]

What, they were talking about Mars when Yellowstone is clearly ready to erupt and plunge the world into darkness? What kind of a news site is this? They are apparently behind the times. lol