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What's the funnies/stupidest contract you've received?

Athen

By Athen
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ARS

ARS

Posted
Posted

Bring a rover wheel on Jool's atmospheric reentry altitude to test it out, because testing a rover wheel meant for airless ball of rock on gas giant with no surface to land on makes perfect sense from engineering standpoint

Recover a discarded kickback SRB on the surface of the Mun and bring it back to Kerbin intact. The reward from the contract and from the recovered part itself is ridiculously small compared to expense required to complete it in the first place. If it's an SRB, then I might as well forget about it anyway, since it's dirt cheap

Basically any test contract for part not meant to be used on tested part's environment such as rover wheel on gas giant above, or testing airbrake in vacuum

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AngrybobH

AngrybobH

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Posted
1 hour ago, ARS said:

testing airbrake in vacuum

But no one knew for sure that an airbrake didn't work in a vacuum until one was actually brought up there. Sure logic would dictate that it wouldn't but, without actual real testing it would just be a theory(a good one). The stupidest missions I got lately were station expansions that want me to add more pilots. How many pilots does a station need? I'm glad they accept pilots that go with the station parts and then return home immediately. I did get one for a parachute test on a munar suborbital flight but that was back in 1.2. It made me chuckle enough to accept it.

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FinalFan

FinalFan

Posted
Posted

I haven't had anything as utterly logically pointless as ARS, but I've gotten a contract to activate a Thumper on a suborbital trajectory ... at 210,000m ... and I've gotten it twice now on my first career.  

On the other end of the spectrum, I got a contract for Mun science just as my third Mun mission entered its SOI.  

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Ultimate Steve

Ultimate Steve

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, FinalFan said:

I haven't had anything as utterly logically pointless as ARS, but I've gotten a contract to activate a Thumper on a suborbital trajectory ... at 210,000m ... and I've gotten it twice now on my first career.  

On the other end of the spectrum, I got a contract for Mun science just as my third Mun mission entered its SOI.  

Yes. So I have done two playthroughs of vanilla career mode where I try to go to all of the planets as fast as possible (got 7hr 54m and 6hr 40m respectively, but only the first one is uploaded so far so that's the current official record) and something that's bugged me is that especially early on you don't get contracts to go places until you've already left.

I had one to test a 3.75m decoupler orbiting the sun once. I had not even unlocked any 2.5m parts if I recall correctly, so i had to store it sideways and from the side, once the boosters had jettisoned, the rocket looked like a huge lollipop.

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DJWyre

DJWyre

Posted
Posted (edited)

Do tourist mission for the reputation hike - decline stupid item test/relay probe reposition/observation/whatever-you-can't-be-bothered-with missions until you get what you want.

Edit:
My hardest/stupidest mission was this from a few months ago:
 

Quote

A few hours into a new Career Mode play I get the usual 'Rescue Kerbal' mission.

What was not usual was the orbit parameters the game came up with....

Apoapsis near Kerbin's SOI limit, periapsis at about 7.5Mm, orbit counter-rotational.
Bear in mind that I had only just landed on Minmus and done a Mun orbit, I have most of the level 4 tech and a couple of level 5s.

Several missions are launched but the problem is not actually one of dV, but time. The capsule is on a Mun encounter trajectory, I don't have the funds to upgrade the Tracking Station to see it's post-encounter orbit. I get a craft in LKO and wait for it to exit Mun's SOI, so I can then plot a course and brute force things if necessary.
This also does not work, I can catch it eventually, but it's on course for a second Mun encounter - one that kicks it out of the system.

I'm not abandoning this Kerbal though, so I revert and try to think.
The problem is being in the right place before it's lost to interplanetary space. I don't know where it's going exactly... and then a mad plan forms.... I but I know where it will be.

Craft is launched and heads for the Mun and sets up in a polar orbit to wait for the capsule to skim through. I'm not the best KSP player so I kinda make a bad job of judging the burn to catch it. With fuel limited I get an intercept somewhere beyond Minmus.
Rendezvous seems to go fine at first, but as I get closer the map starts giving me insane new intercepts as I close in even though I'm down to <1km and under 5m/s, then either I press the wrong button or the same glitch makes my target box disappear. Navball says I'm less than 100m away and in a matched orbit, but I can't see the thing since it's a Mk 1 capsule which is black, like the sky. Eventually I spot it against the milkyway and double check it's still targeted, which it is. I get the Kerbal out and target the craft, still no box. I fly by the ball until the suit lamps light up her ticket home. A scientist thankfully.

I carry on with the usual stuff, landing on the Mun, rescuing another scientist from a slightly more sane orbit, building up the comnet, etc.

Truthfully, that was a few days ago.

Then, while on return from a combined, tourist, observation and rescue mission (another scientist!) from the Mun, a world first seemingly popped up at random.
It informed me that congratulations were in order for slipping the bonds of Kerbin's gravity and initiating a flyby of the sun.

I had forgotten to terminate the capsule.

 

Edited by DJWyre
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Kryxal

Kryxal

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, ARS said:

Bring a rover wheel on Jool's atmospheric reentry altitude to test it out, because testing a rover wheel meant for airless ball of rock on gas giant with no surface to land on makes perfect sense from engineering standpoint

Recover a discarded kickback SRB on the surface of the Mun and bring it back to Kerbin intact. The reward from the contract and from the recovered part itself is ridiculously small compared to expense required to complete it in the first place. If it's an SRB, then I might as well forget about it anyway, since it's dirt cheap

Basically any test contract for part not meant to be used on tested part's environment such as rover wheel on gas giant above, or testing airbrake in vacuum

If the part's going to be exposed to vacuum at any point, there's actually a case to be made for testing it there.  Who knows, it could get stuck and spoil your whole day later...

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cubinator

cubinator

Posted
Posted

"Plant a flag on the Mun!"

"Plant a flag on the Mun!"

"Plant a flag on the Mun!"

*nothing remotely related to any body I didn't literally just get back from exploring on my own because the contract system has no inclination to believe I'd ever want to explore further than where I've already been.*

 

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Sharpy

Sharpy

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, cubinator said:

"Plant a flag on the Mun!"

"Plant a flag on the Mun!"

"Plant a flag on the Mun!"

*nothing remotely related to any body I didn't literally just get back from exploring on my own because the contract system has no inclination to believe I'd ever want to explore further than where I've already been.*

 

C'mon. The standard procedure is to station a Kerbal there permanently, with a big supply of flags.

 

Just two days ago... I just finished painstakingly aligning the last of the relay satellites in a clever constellation. Back to Mission Control. "Relocate satellite Relay 1B to a new orbit." Declined with extreme prejudice.

There was "Rescue kerbal", the kerbal in question was orbiting Kerbol somewhere between Jool and Eeloo *in retrograde direction*. Out of several reasonable approaches that wouldn't require absolutely ludicrous amount of delta-V (Jool assist, bi-elliptic), most had to be scrapped because the time limit of 70 years or so would be insufficient. I ended up building a monstrosity that had 8 stages of nothing but Dawn engines for return to Kerbin; a true monster of a rocket for getting there. Never finished the mission in the end.

Not mine, but I remember the thread from old forums, and I loved it. "Please retrieve and land this orbital forest." A player forgot about having a mod with space stations installed. One of these was meant to be hyperedited into orbit, the author didn't ever picture anyone launching it - a huge ring station with a lush forest inside. And of course the game spawned it in orbit with a stranded kerbal. The mission required landing the kerbal and whatever he was in... The player consensus was "accept the mission, save the kerbal, then decline the mission and hijack the station, expanding it using KIS.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
magnemoe

magnemoe

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, Bogen said:

I just got "Extract ore from Eve and deliver it to Gilly".

That one can be cheated on, land an miner with enough ore capasity on Eve, then switch to an mining depot on Gilly. 

I once had to bring down an large aircraft wing from the Mun, I looked at the weight but not the dimensions. 

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Sharpy

Sharpy

Posted
Posted
On 9/9/2018 at 8:46 PM, Bogen said:

I just got "Extract ore from Eve and deliver it to Gilly".

Got that one too. Several times. Abused it with a wild glee, as I had a massive Gilly base at that time, with extensive spacecraft building capabilities (extraplanetary launchpads):

- built a simple lander with a mining rig, landed it on Eve.

- built a minimalistic satellite with an ore tank, filled it with ore (dug up from Gilly, at the massive base), then put it in Gilly orbit.

- landed the lander on Eve, dug up the desired amount of ore, dumped it.

- switched to the satellite. Contract completed. Used the same pair to complete subsequent identical contracts.

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Pascovian

Pascovian

Posted
Posted

This one happened when i was playing GPP.

Mine ore from Ciro and deliver it to Nero.

uh... KSP, go home, you're drunk.

This one on a KSS career.

Rescue Konnor Kerman from Orbit on The All.

i checked on the tracking station and it appeared as "Landed" on Mesmo.

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GrandProtectorDark

GrandProtectorDark

Posted
Posted (edited)

That happend to me back in 1.2.2
A company from one of the Orion Drive mods offered me a contract that looked like this
unknown.png
Except that Kargantua is a Black hole (from the same named Mod)

I put this away as the game just not knowing that you should now be able to get those contracts for that type of place

Until a few Irl days later
IMG_20170725_110112.png
"doesn't seem to be anything we can't handle"
Lich is a neutron star from the Old Interstellar Adventure Revived mod.
Equally as impossible to land on as a black hole

And
unknown.png
"sounds pretty resonable"
Even more days later. K2-3 was a gas giant if I remember right.

Same company, same request, same matter of impossibility

I know myself that this is to blame on the modders for not including a "Don't do this contract for this body = true" but it being the same company every time just made me laugh

Edited by GrandProtectorDark
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HansonKerman

HansonKerman

Posted
Posted

Blame the Konvair Division!

On 9/18/2018 at 7:34 PM, Pascovian said:

Landed" on Mesmo.

Konnor: HEEELP! I'm stuck on Mesmo!

KSC: All right, just so we don't scare the engineers, we'll put you as... lesse here. "orbiting... the... All..." - There!

Konnor: Wait- <transmission cutoff>

On 9/18/2018 at 7:34 PM, Pascovian said:

Mine ore from Ciro and deliver it to Nero.

I'm here to test the new 7892211100000M drill. Where's Ciro Star?

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