Jump to content

101+ reasons why we are not NASA


CaptinKornflake

Recommended Posts

81- NASA does not exist on a planet where the only life exists in a small research laboratory, and astronauts are more or less cloned for use.

82- We launch nuclear projectiles into the sun to "see what happens"

83- There is nothing else in the universe other than an absurdly small star system with absurdly small planets and absurd aerodynamics.

84- We design massive warships to defend ourselves from the wrath of the Magic Boulder.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

86: We exploit the fact that the EVA physics haven't been updated in a while

87: We build rockets reinforced with external struts rather than simply use strong parts

88: We are forced to use cookie-cutter parts

89: Because we are forced to use cookie-cutter parts, we don't fine-tune our delta-V budget

90: It only takes 4500 m/s of delta-V to get to LKO, but it takes OVER NINE THOUSAND!!! to get to LEO

91: We have two moons we can visit

92: We visit our two moons just to test our new experimental designs that haven't ever flown before

93: We launch to orbit befor testing any parts at all

94: We use nuclear thermal rockets

95: We don't use ion thrusters

96: We launch probes without any science instruments

97: We send Kerbals on 5-year missions in a capsule only a couple inches larger than themselves

98: We almost never balance our RCS correctly

99: We launch SSTOs on a regular basis

100: We often overshoot and have to turn around

101: Our RTGs never decay

That makes it 101 reasons why we are not NASA :D

Edited by ruiluth
Link to comment
Share on other sites

... we are not NASA

We aren't?

1 - We build manned ICBM's

A. Redstone: Used to launch Mercury. Was a modified Short Range Ballistic Missile.

B. Atlas: Used to launch Mercury. Was an ICBM.

3. Titan: Used to launch Gemini. Was an ICBM.

D. Saturn I: Used to launch Apollo. First stage was a Medium Range Ballistic Missile, surrounded by 8 Redstones (See A).

No budget constraints. No political bullcrap. No program getting cancelled halfway through. No ground testing. No paperwork. No research. No material failures. No bidding on contracts. No systems testing. No worries of integrating Part A by one contractor with Part B from another contractor, running with System C by an agency in another country, all controlled by software from yet another contractor. No worrying about getting parts on time. No worry on not having parts in stock. No worries about crew health. No worry about the crews' Garn levels. No worry that the oxygen tank might explode. No worrying that the radio won't let you talk between two buildings. No kerbals hanging lemons on the training simulator. No simulator for training. No training. No hatch blowing early. No torque meter to check that each screw is installed just right. No crew selection. No crew getting bumped for having measles. No pissing contest with the another country. No paperwork. No micrometeorites. No congressional committees when the rocket fails. No two year wait when a kerbal dies. No weather constraints. No public relations. No 1201 alarm. No trying SCE to Aux.

Edited by razark
Link to comment
Share on other sites

109. We Single Stage To Orbit, not because it's cost effective, but so we can brag about it.

568. When we encounter a transfer time of several hundred days during interplanetary travels, we experience annoyance of having to wait a minute or so, and disregard the certain death we've guaranteed our kerbonauts.

40 685. We slap our cargoes on the largest available rocket; no matter if it's overpowered, we want to get to space today!

-68. We sacrifice huge amounts of time and resources to rescue a single kerbal who has been stranded on another planet for several thousand days.

4i+7. We often leave kerbals behind on other planets 'accidently' because they annoyed us on the trip over.

114. The acronym of our space program is KSP, not NASA :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

114. The acronym of our space program is KSP, not NASA :P

Totally imagined some NASA guy reading that, ripping off their headset, storming off, shouting obscenities, and the ISS crew just being like 'Uh....Earth....hello? Anyone down there?'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This thread is quite old. Please consider starting a new thread rather than reviving this one.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...