Waiter, theres a _____________ in my soup!

[ColdJ]

If you can lift it, then you can keep it.

Waiter, Some icecream for dessert please.

[kerbiloid]

Your ticket to Minmus, sir.

Bartender! Ask me something.

[ColdJ]

What soup would you like sir?

Waiter, is that a fruit loop in my soup?

[AtomicTech]

Yes, it is. You ordered cereal, one of the more exotic soups.

Waiter, why is my soup glowing?

[kerbiloid]

The Fallout series has started this week.

Bartender! Are you a ghoul?

[ColdJ]

What is it to ya, smooth skin?

Waiter, There are Iguana Bits in my Squirrel stew.

[kerbiloid]

Yes, the squirells now hunt iguanas.

Waiter! Do you have fresh Andale pies?

[ColdJ]

No, but we do have Sweeny Todd pies.

Waiter, that previous customer tried to chew on me.

[kerbiloid]

Yes, we call him Chewie.

Waiter! Don't you have Geiger counters on your tables?

[TwoCalories]

Yes, but the customers complained about the clicking noise.

Waiter, all the old Geiger counters from the tables appeared in my soup!

[kerbiloid]

You should not splash your soup against the counter. A finger, wet of soup, is enough.

Waiter! Which head of brahmin is it?

[ColdJ]

Depends on whether you are left or right handed.

Waiter, is that a glowing finger in my soup?

[kerbiloid]

Better ask, why the steak is blinking.

Cashier! Do you accept foreign currency?

Spoiler

 

[ColdJ]

We don't even accept Sultanas.

Waiter, my spoon melted when I put it in my soup.

[kerbiloid]

Maybe you should not add so much species to it.

Waiter! What's your S.P.E.C.I.A.L. meal?

[ColdJ]

Soup, Pie, Eclair, Calzone, Ice-cream, Anchovies and Lasagne.

Waiter, a bucket to go thanks.

[kerbiloid]

Here you go, sir. It'sour bucket for bucks.

Waiter! Why do you want the tips? Are you an archer?

[ColdJ]

Because cow tipping is all the rage.

Waiter, why are you bobbing for apples, in my soup?

[kerbiloid]

Because this is not waiter! He is Robin the Bobbin!

Spoiler

Robin the Bobbin, the big-bellied Ben,
He ate more meat than fourscore men;
He ate a cow, he ate a calf,
He ate a butcher and a half;
He ate a church, he ate a steeple,
He ate the priest and all the people!
A cow and a calf,
An ox and a half,
A church and a steeple,
And all the good people,
And yet he complained that his stomach wasn't full.

Robin! Where is the waiter?!

Edited April 22, 2024 by kerbiloid

[ColdJ]

Hello Robin, where did all the other people go?

Ah, Robin, why are you looking at me and salivating?

[kerbiloid]

Because you are standing between him and the police car with three inside.

Bartender! Is your bar a statusbar, a progressbar, a toolbar, or a dance bar?

[ColdJ]

Yes to all the above.

Waiter, I have a great idea for soup.

[BA-Forums]

"Waiter, the soup was not good. Please do not listen to me when it comes to soup ideas."

BA-Forums, shortly after horribly attempting to make one of @ColdJ's soups, as I do not know how to make a soup.

[kerbiloid]

We know that now. Happily we still have a chance to try another one.

Waiter! A bottle of radium water, to disinfect and empty the stomach and the belly.

[ColdJ]

Here you go, would you like some RadAway to go with that?

Waiter, Fallout Boy is playing in my soup.