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KAL 9000

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Everything posted by KAL 9000

  1. KAL 9000
    Did anyone die in the crash?
  2. KAL 9000
    Bob is begging Kerty to not let them go down. "I'm sorry, Bob. I'm afraid I can't do that."
  3. KAL 9000
    Awesome reports, dude! You keep referring to the probes as "he"... Do they have sentient AI cores?
  4. KAL 9000
    Why didn't CommNet get a link to Edge of Infinity?
  5. KAL 9000
    To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subj: Funding Program Manager Bobford, I'll put it bluntly: I fear the Board of Directors may cut off funding to the Traveller program. Why? They're bureaucrats. They expect results immediately, or else they get cranky. You know as well as I do the immense long-term importance of the data that will be gathered by this program, especially if we ever want to send colonists outside the Kerbol system. But these stupid, selfish, short-sighted bureaucrats (is there another kind?) don't care. They'll put publicity stunts that advance their own careers over the good of Kerbalkind. It makes me sick. I know the RAIR is temperamental, and failures are just part of the program. But if 04 doesn't make it to Glaretram, they'll definitely shut you down. I hear they're planning to use the money that would go to the Traveller program to build yet another orbital casino. Respectfully, -Chairkerb Geltrix Gregley
  6. KAL 9000
    I think I'm up to speed. I have only one question: Who the heck is Gregmore?
  7. KAL 9000
    The ATV rolled to a stop at the base of the largest pyramid, and Jeb and Bill climbed to the top. "Hello there, Munvey." "Oh, hello. What brings you two Kerbals here?" "Well, I'm Jeb. That's Bill. We're from KSC. We found out about the whole Traveling Circus thing, and we wanted to know if you knew anything more." "What do you want to know? Here, would you like something to drink? Water? Soda?" "No, thanks. Well, here's what we know..." After the conversation with Munvey and thank-yous all around, they left again to find the rest of the crew.
  8. KAL 9000
    I still see pupils. She's OK.
  9. KAL 9000
    RIP Magic Boulder [UNKNOWN] - [UNKNOWN] "Maybe I shouldn't have crashed into the Mün at an incredibly high velocity."
  10. KAL 9000
    Good Guys - 2 (Edgas' punch and Val calling the Kraken a lump of *****) Kraken - 0 I'd say this is going pretty well.
  11. KAL 9000
    Piper'll be fine! I didn't make her a Perry the Platypus-style theme song for nothing! She's BadS!
  12. KAL 9000
    Citizens of the Ussari Union! You are being lied to! Valentina Kermanova did go to Mün! The explosion was a cover-up! Your government is an oppressive totalitarian regime! You must fight for your freed- OH, PЦҐЇЍ! THEY'VE FOUND ME! SAVE YOURS- SҐДLЇЍ'S SШЭДГҰ SФҪҠS! NOT THE RATSQUIRRELFISH! NOOO-
  13. KAL 9000
    @astroheiko Jeb was not allowed to go down because it would double the chances of everything exploding.
  14. KAL 9000
    Of course they can land on Kerbin! We just need to strap on parachutes, heat shields, struts, and prayers!
  15. KAL 9000
    Like "The Twilight Zone" or something? Cool!
  16. KAL 9000
    Yes it would. I don't care about travel times - we have DeepFreeze!
  17. KAL 9000
    Change of plans: The one-month ITS test will just be in Kerbin orbit, not docked to SpaceLab. And I (and my company) are willing to help with getting public interest! STRATEGY: JAI Helps +3 per week +100% from contract rewards +1 per gained after strategy is in effect +1 per 10,000 gained after strategy is in effect
  18. KAL 9000
    Traveller 03's Log: Date: Y2711 D133 Warn: CritFail (Cause: Unknown) Warn: CritFail (Cause: Unknown) Warn: CritFail (Cause: Unknown) Warn: Kraken Detected!!! Assessment: Oh, Kerm. 3$;8,38,3$$diedj -SIGNAL LOST-
  19. KAL 9000
    May I nominate @Kuzzter for this? Check out Kerbfleet: A Jool Odyssey for extensive documentation.
  20. KAL 9000
    Yesterday, an SSTO brought up the final shipment of EL parts and the civilians and crew came in three other SSTO shipments! IT IS COMPLETE! The launch of the ship (transcript): SPACEDOCK CONTROL: Begin final systems check. CAPTAIN JEB: You heard the Kerb. FIRST OFFICER VAL: All systems look good from here. CHIEF ENGINEER BILL: Same here. SCIENCE OFFICER BOB: Although I do have many concerns about this ship, all systems are surprisingly okay. CHEIF MEDICAL OFFICER WILCOY: All systems green. HELMSKERB BILLY-BOBFORD: All systems five by five. CAPTAIN JEB: My systems are okay, too. Spacedock Control, we are GO for departure. SPACEDOCK CONTROL: Roger. You are cleared for launch procedure. CAPTAIN JEB: Bill, activate the reactors. CHEIF ENGINEER BILL: Yes, sir. CAPTAIN JEB: Billy-Bobford, plot a course to JEB-5. HELMSKERB BILLY-BOBFORD: On it, sir. CAPTAIN JEB: Val, switch us from Spacedock life support to internal life support. Same thing with power. FIRST OFFICER VAL: Yes, sir. CAPTAIN JEB: And someone get me some koffee! INTERN GELTRIX: Yes, sir! SPACEDOCK CONTROL: Fueling, power and boarding arms retracting. Stand by for decoupling. CAPTAIN JEB: Roger. Bill, activate inertial dampeners! CHEIF ENGINEER BILL: That's only in Star Trek, sir. CAPTAIN JEB: Oh, right. SPACEDOCK CONTROL: We have undocking!
  21. KAL 9000
    *cough* Sagittarius A* *cough*
  22. KAL 9000
    Poor pilots. Why were they shot down south of the border? And escorting a medical convoy, for Kerm's sake! International law clearly dictates that humanitarian aid, and/or military units protecting/escorting said humanitarian aid, are not to be damaged or harmed in any way, even if a war is happening. This makes no sense.
  23. KAL 9000
    EVA suits have ridiculously high heat tolerance. ETA: This has been confirmed with tests on live Kerbals by Danny2462 Space Industries (partnered with Leyland-Wutani!)
  24. KAL 9000
    It's back! You must go interstellar with Kron 7.
  25. KAL 9000
    Naaah... They can deorbit with their EVA jetpacks. They'll be fine as long as they land on their heads. Or, you know, do it the boring way and install the EVA Parachutes mod.
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