TERRIBLE JOKES!

[StupidAndy]

as the title says, you must think of the worst, worst, most stupid and idiotic joke ever

i shall start (obviously)

what do you name your rocket

DELTA FIVE!

roman numerals people!

[James Kerman]

What's green but turns red at the push of a button?
On kerbin it's Jeb.
On earth it's a frog in a blender.

[NSEP]

Are you guys alright? No you are all left!

[Tex_NL]

What does a frog say when you drop him in water a foot and a half deep?

KneeDeep.

[The Raging Sandwich]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because at 2:30 am his wife startedto suffer a liver failure. He called an ambulance to come and get her and bring her to the hospital. On the way there, his car broke down so he had to walk the rest of the way. While he was walking down a backroad after he temprarily got lost, he was mugged by killer clowns. He continued on for the love of his wife. When he got to the last stretch of the road, he started to cross. As he was in the middle of the road, the green light came on. He was run over and left for dead on the street. Then, several hours later, a man by the name of Harland David Sanders picked him up, and threw him into the oven for a hungry 34 year old man, his wife, and his two children/ His wife, Mrss. Chicken, came to his funeral despite her surgery the previous day.

[NSEP]

Is your awnser to this question no?

A geek at a bar says "Hey can i get some H2O?" The geek number 2 says "Can i get some H2O too?" They both take a sip, geek number 2 dies. Rest in Chemicals.

 

[Tex_NL]

There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary, and those who do not.

[Xorth Tanovar]

There are 2 kinds of people in the world: Those who can interpolate answers.

[cubinator]

What did one astronaut say to the other before starting a dangerous EVA?

"No pressure!"

[StupidAndy]

i built a rocket, but i forgot what its specific impulse was

this was terrible!

[StrandedonEarth]

What do ghosts like to eat?

Booberries

[GDJ]

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they just ARRRR!

[Firemetal]

One of the days in a week is named after a body in Ksp. What is it?

Mun-day.

[StupidAndy]

theres another named after a day!

Jools-day!
(Tuesday)

[Firemetal]

Yeah and the coldest place on Earth is named after a moon in KSP.

The South Pol.

[kerbiloid]

Those who got gilly about the Joolian calendar, understand that better Laythe than never.

[Mycroft]

Here's one of my favorites:

"My girlfriend is dumping me because she doesn't like my overactive imagination... 

 

 

 

Joke's on her! She doesn't exist!"

 

Edited November 27, 2016 by Mycroft

[John22]

Another one of my favorite joke:

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing"

[Xorth Tanovar]

She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.

[SAS123]

What is a Car called when it is red?

Blue

[Xorth Tanovar]

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!

[ZentroCatson]

A sign in a wild west town reads:

Wanted: Schrödinger's Cat

Dead and Alive

10'000$

[LN400]

Let's up the idiocy then:

 

A man walks into a pub.

Ouch.

 

Little Johnny sits on a stone fence chewing chocolate when an old man comes walking by.

The old man stops, looks at Johnny and says: "Young lad, all that chocolate, that can't be good for you"

Little Johnny looks at the old-timer and replies: "My grand-dad lived to become 107 years old, he did"

The old man then says "but he didn't eat chocolate all day now, did he?" to which Johnny answers back:

"Oh..."

[LN400]

When Neil Armstrong took his giant leap for mankind, he was baffled to see cows wandering around the landing craft. That was, until he spotted the moo rocket.

[Spacetraindriver]

Knock Knock

Whos there?

The chicken 

The chicken who?

The chicken who crossed the road. 

So that's why the chicken crossed the road!