The Everyday Kerbal's Rocketry Vending Machine

[Kimera Industries]

(Not to be confused with the forum game with a similar name)

Welcome, to the Astronaut Complex's vending machine! This thread will explore possible rocketry/kerbal-related snacks that could exist in the KSP universe.

As a bonus, this thread is open to any vending machines built in Kerbal Space Program.

Here is the default format for all submissions to the vending machine:

[Snack Name]

Based on or similar to [snack] (optional)

[Short, probably a little funny description]

[Snack Name: Witty phrase on packaging] (optional)

Here's an example based on this format:

Tea-Teb

Energy drink.

The energy drink of choice for kerbonauts. Often explodes after minimal shaking, which is why it has attained such popularity.

Tea-Teb: Putting the "boom!" in triethylaluminium-triethyl"boom!'ane!

 

Submit entries in the comments below for a chance to be entered into the stock of...

The Everyday Kerbal's Rocketry Vending Machine!

Drinks:

Tea-Teb

Energy drink.

The energy drink of choice for kerbonauts. Often explodes after minimal shaking, which is why it has attained such popularity.

Tea-Teb: Putting the "boom!" in triethylaluminium-triethyl"boom!'ane!

Hypergol

Gatorade-like drinks.

Most often sold in a 2-pack of complimentary flavors, like how hypergolic fuels need their counterpart to ignite and combust. One flavor is the liquid fuel, and the other is the oxidizer.

RocketFizz Brand presents these three signature flavors:

Keralox Apple

Comes in our standard grey can with orange accents, like the R-7 rocket. Special editions can look like a Falcon 9.

Hydralox Blueberry

Comes in an exotic orange can for insulation! Based on the Space Shuttle ET.

Methalox Grape

Comes in a fancy and snazzy silver can based on Starship.

RocketFizz's other drinks include:

Xenon Fizz

A very, very fizzy soda. Comes in different flavors.

It's like xenon if xenon were a drink. So fizzy, it's got at least 2000 Delta-V!*

"Xenon Fizz: A little goes a long way..."

*This Delta-V calculation was measured in vacuum conditions. Longburn Inc. is not responsible in any way for any rocket-based incidents involving Xenon Fizz.

Hydrogen Slush

The revolutionary premade slurpee! It's made with [REDACTED - PATENT PENDING].

Comes in many flavors! The bottle is covered with standard gold-looking multi-layer insulation, for your drinking pleasure.

"Drink it before it melts boils off!"

Cold Gas Thruster

A highly pressurized can of cold nitrogen gas, with grape flavour! Spray directly into mouth or inhale it.

"Cold Gas Thruster: No ignitions Required!"

L.A.Y.T.H.E. Mineral Water

Like expensive water on Earth, but it actually tastes good, like blueberries! Has a slight blue tinge. It comes in a cool bottle designed like a seperatron with a high-res picture of Laythe, which is, (at a minimum) 8K resolution.

"Harvested from the shores of Laythe, we at L.A.Y.T.H.E aspire to bring kerbals the cleanest water possible. Straight from the tropics of this moon, to your stomach."*

*Only about 30% of water is from Laythe. The rest is from Vall because our lander had too little delta-v.

Chips:

Honeycomb

Thick hexagonal chips that are fun to crush. Best selling flavor is "Aluminum" (Salt-and-Vinegar). Like the aluminum honeycomb used in many aerospace vehicles for strength and rigidity, unlike KSP 2 rockets.

Max-Q

Based on Spicy Cheetos

Extremely spicy crunchy chips, often mistakenly used as solid rocket fuel.

Baked Goods:

Kraken Munchies

Like Goldfish

Squid-shaped and hard to find. Served free with a luxury stay at the Bop Casino.

ACPC

Based on Nutty Buddy

ACPC is the Space Shuttle SRB propellant, or in this case, Awesome Crunchy n' Puffy Crispers. Crunchy wafer with delicious cinnamon cream filling.

ACPC: "Once you start munchin', you can't stop!"

Grid Fin Wafers

Generic wafer

Shaped like stabilizing grid fins, Falcon 9 or BFR variants.

Grid Fin Wafers: "Guide your tastebuds to deliciousness!"

Regolith Bars!

Similar to granola bars, but more of a sweet snack than an energy snack.

A mix of nuts, oats, puffed rice, and chocolate chips with the bottom coated in a flavored dip colored to look like different planets' regolith.

Regolith Bars!: No spacesuit damage, guaranteed!

Mo-holes

Based on donuts

Usually overbaked pastries with holes stamped through the middle, sometimes dipped in chocolate because most kerbals don't like charred food. Strange because they enjoy charred rockets, but I digress. The idea for Mo-holes came when a kerbal attempted to bake a cake with zero knowledge of how to do so (like most kerbals), and promptly burned his house down and created a dark-brown, crunchy lump. He got so angry that he punched a hole in it, and in that moment it reminded him of the Mohole.

Mo-holes: "We put the hole in Moho!"

Salty Refilling Bars (SRB):

They're filling and once you start eating one you can't stop until you're done! A smaller variant of the ACPC bars.

SRBs: Now 25% taller!

Duna Pebbles:

A crunchy snack inspired by fried chickpea flour balls or the traditional Indian snack Boondhi!

"Ever wanted to taste the planets but couldn't because space is a vacuum? We can get you one step closer to that goal by introducing Duna Pebbles!"*

*This snack does not contain iron oxides from Duna's surface. May contain oxides from Moho, however.

Candy:

Orion Crunch!

Small, spherical, Nerds-alike candy, coated in fizzy sour powder.

They are dispensed out of a cute, environment-friendly, Orion Drive-themed container, which is often used to dispense the candy directly into your mouth.

Orion Crunch: "Now with 97% less nuclear materials!"

Sweet Little Sweets (SLS):

They're sweet, little, and did we mention sweet. Best when paired with a couple of SRB bars.

Sweet little sweets: The Moon's new favorite snack!

RCS

Based on Pop Rocks

Rock Candy Surprise, has lots of quick puffs like RCS thrusters.

LithoBreakers

Based on Jawbreakers

Stupidly hard, just like The Mun. Before purchasing, must sign a waiver freeing us from having to compensate you for damage to your teeth.

Pol-O Mints

Based on Polo Mints

Now, experience the taste of your favorite moon! That same rush of Pol's volcanoes can be felt whenever you drop one of these into a RocketFizz brand soda!

Pol-O Mints: Don't sue us! Please!

Gummy Rockets

Just gummy worms, in the shape of rockets.

Gummy candies shaped like rockets. They are inspired by... well... what rockets do. Contains a soft, gooey center that explodes when you chomp down on one. They come in many different fruit flavors.

Gummy Rockets: "They flex! They wobble! They... shouldn't do that..."

 

EE Rocks (Eve Explodium Rocks)

(Pop Rocks)

They pop in your mouth! Maybe, a little too much. Harvested straight from Eve*! Buy now for the low, low price of 1,000 funds!

*Possibly with some ejecta from Minmus. Also, no refunds, and you can't sue (or any family member) if you explode from EE Rocks.

 

SiliRing Popping Candy

A type of popping candy that tastes like Silicon with a hint of cotton candy, being based off the presumed taste of the rings of Sarnus.

They come in ring-shaped containers and have different flavors for variations of the candy based on Urlum, Havous and Dres.

"Ever wanted to sneak a taste of your favorite planet's rings? Now that fantasy won't be a dream any longer, thanks to SiliRing Popping Candy. Now with less silicon."

Other:

Mint-mus Ice Cream

Fresh mint ice cream harvested directly from the surface of Minmus!

Minty Fresh and Out of this world!

May contain "traces" of silicon monoxide shards.

Rover Fresh Minmus Mints

Tin of mints (think Altoids)

Kerbals can keep these in their rovers on long excursions, like going to the store to buy more Rover Fresh Minmus Mints.

Rover Fresh Minmus Mints: Your breath has to smell great, even when flipping through the air uncontrollably!

That's what kerbals eat and drink every day! If you have any ideas, place them in the comments below! (May edit for clarity.)

Edited August 13 by Kimera Industries
Added Regolith Bars!, Mo-holes, Pol-O Mints, Gummy Rockets, Xenon Fizz, Hydrogen Slush, Sweet Little Sweets, Orion Crunch, Duna Pebbles, L.A.Y.T.H.E. Mineral Water, Mint-mus Ice Cream.

[Mikki]

....! Eggsellent!

Most funny read in a while. thank you! Must have this in KSP"

[Kimera Industries]

Thanks! I'm glad I could give you a chuckle, that's really the whole point of this post. It would be fun to create a picture for each one, then make a mod for a vending machine using them in like FreeIVA or something.

[Mikki]

21 hours ago, Kimera Industries said:

Thanks! I'm glad I could give you a chuckle, that's really the whole point of this post. It would be fun to create a picture for each one, then make a mod for a vending machine using them in like FreeIVA or something.

We need fandom like yours for sure! I`ve added a link to this thread in my mission report, so more people can see it since it is posted in the KSP1 section.

[Kimera Industries]

2 minutes ago, Mikki said:

We need fandom like yours for sure! I`ve added a link to this thread in my mission report, so more people can see it since it is posted in the KSP1 section.

Awesome! Maybe I could try posting this in the KSP2 section as well to garner more attention. 

[Kimera Industries]

The KSP1 and KSP2 versions have been merged.

Edited November 24, 2023 by Kimera Industries
For some reason this comment was an entire old version of the vending machine. Probably an artifact from the KSP1 and KSP2 posts merging.

[Kimera Industries]

58 minutes ago, Kimera Industries said:

Maybe I could try posting this in the KSP2 section as well to garner more attention. 

Done.

[Vanamonde]

Since fans are making this, the thread has been moved to the Fan Works sub. 

Oh, and since there was a second thread on the same subject they have been merged. 

[Kimera Industries]

Sounds good

[TwoCalories]

Here's my go at it:

Regolith Bars! (The "!" is part of the title)

Similar to granola bars, but probably more of a sweet snack then an energy snack.

A mix of nuts, oats, puffed rice, and chocolate chips with the bottom coated in a flavored dip colored to look like different planets that have regolith.

No spacesuit damage, guaranteed!

[Kimera Industries]

20 hours ago, TwoCalories said:

Here's my go at it:

Regolith Bars! (The "!" is part of the title)

Similar to granola bars, but probably more of a sweet snack then an energy snack.

A mix of nuts, oats, puffed rice, and chocolate chips with the bottom coated in a flavored dip colored to look like different planets that have regolith.

No spacesuit damage, guaranteed!

Excellent idea! It's added!

[TheSpaceDinos4037]

I love this lol

Let me add my own:

Mo-holes

Based on donuts and bagels (I don't know the difference)

Usually overbaked pastries with holes stamped through the middle, also sometimes dipped in chocolate because most kerbals don't like charred food.

"We put the hole in Moho!"

The idea for them came when a kerbal attempted to bake a cake with zero knowledge on how to (most kerbals also don't know how), and promptly almost burned his house down and created a dark-brown, crunchy lump. He got so angry that he punched a hole in it, and it reminded him of the Mohole in that moment.

[Kimera Industries]

12 hours ago, TheSpaceDinos4037 said:

I love this lol

Let me add my own:

Mo-holes

Based on donuts and bagels (I don't know the difference)

Usually overbaked pastries with holes stamped through the middle, also sometimes dipped in chocolate because most kerbals don't like charred food.

"We put the hole in Moho!"

The idea for them came when a kerbal attempted to bake a cake with zero knowledge on how to (most kerbals also don't know how), and promptly almost burned his house down and created a dark-brown, crunchy lump. He got so angry that he punched a hole in it, and it reminded him of the Mohole in that moment.

Ah, yet another story to confuse culinary historians on the origin of donuts. Love it! Added.

Spoiler

I think donuts are deep-fried and sugary, whereas bagels are baked and salty/savory.

[jimmymcgoochie]

Pol-O Mints.

Just Polo Mints but with a hyphen for legal reasons, definitely a different thing please don’t sue us…

[Kimera Industries]

3 hours ago, jimmymcgoochie said:

Pol-O Mints.

Just Polo Mints but with a hyphen for legal reasons, definitely a different thing please don’t sue us…

Fun idea! The fact that these make soda explode and Pol is based on Io, the most volcanic body in the solar system, fits well together. Added!

[TwoCalories]

Gummy Rockets

Literally just gummy worms, in the shape of rockets.

Gummy candies shaped like rockets. They are inspired by... well... what rockets do. They come in many different fruit flavors.

"They flex! They wobble! They... shouldn't do that..."

Edited November 24, 2023 by TwoCalories

[Kimera Industries]

8 minutes ago, TwoCalories said:

Gummy Krakens

Literally just gummy worms, in the shape of krakens.

Gummy candies shaped like the Deep Space Kraken (which look like the one on Bop I assume?). They come in many different fruit-inspired flavors.

"Turn the tables and RUD the Kraken! ...Gummies."

Since they are similar to Kraken Munchies, a new brand called Disastrous Foods has been created to cover both of them. I love all the stuff the community has added!

[TwoCalories]

4 hours ago, Kimera Industries said:

Since they are similar to Kraken Munchies, a new brand called Disastrous Foods has been created to cover both of them. I love all the stuff the community has added!

I changed it to something more original, but it can still be the same brand.

***

Xenon Fizz

A very, very fizzy soda. Comes in different flavors.

It's like if xenon was a drink. So fizzy, it's got at least 2000 Delta-V!*

"Xenon Fizz: A little goes a long way..."

*This Delta-V calculation was measured in vacuum conditions. Longburn Inc. is not responsible in any way for any rocket-based incidents involving Xenon Fizz.

Edited November 24, 2023 by TwoCalories

[Kimera Industries]

11 hours ago, TwoCalories said:

I changed it to something more original, but it can still be the same brand.

***

Xenon Fizz

A very, very fizzy soda. Comes in different flavors.

It's like if xenon was a drink. So fizzy, it's got at least 2000 Delta-V!*

"Xenon Fizz: A little goes a long way..."

*This Delta-V calculation was measured in vacuum conditions. Longburn Inc. is not responsible in any way for any rocket-based incidents involving Xenon Fizz.

The similarity is fine. Lots of snacks are like that in real life, too. Xenon Fizz is a fun idea, I like it.

[TwoCalories]

Hydrogen Slush

The revolutionary premade slurpee! It's made with [REDACTED - PATENT PENDING].

Comes in many flavors, and the bottle is covered with gold insulating foil, for your drinking pleasure.

"Drink it before it melts boils off!"

[Kimera Industries]

58 minutes ago, TwoCalories said:

Hydrogen Slush

The revolutionary premade slurpee! It's made with [REDACTED - PATENT PENDING].

Comes in many flavors, and the bottle is covered with gold insulating foil, for your drinking pleasure.

"Drink it before it melts boils off!"

This is one of my personal favorites! RocketFizz has now expanded to cover more of the drinks.

Spoiler

Did you know, it's not actually gold foil on spacecraft? There's this really cool Scott Manley video explaining multi-layer insulation- I think it's a fun watch.

Hope you enjoy learning about it as much as I did!

[Kimera Industries]

On 11/23/2023 at 4:34 PM, TwoCalories said:

Gummy Rockets

Literally just gummy worms, in the shape of rockets.

Gummy candies shaped like rockets. They are inspired by... well... what rockets do. They come in many different fruit flavors.

"They flex! They wobble! They... shouldn't do that..."

Oh, didn't see you edited the old post!  I've updated that. How do you feel about them being like Gushers, i.e. exploding?

Edited November 29, 2023 by Kimera Industries

[dsplaisted]

Sweet Little Sweets (SLS):

They're sweet little and did we mention sweet. Best when paired with two SRB bars.

Sweet little sweets; the moons new favorite snack!

Salty Refilling Bars (SRB):

They're filling and once you start eating one you can't stop until you're done.! 

Now 25% taller!

Edited December 2, 2023 by dsplaisted

[Kimera Industries]

19 hours ago, dsplaisted said:

Sweet Little Sweets (SLS):

They're sweet little and did we mention sweet. Best when paired with two SRB bars.

Sweet little sweets; the moons new favorite snack!

Salty Refilling Bars (SRB):

They're filling and once you start eating one you can't stop until you're done.! 

Now 25% taller!

 

[TwoCalories]

Orion Crunch!

Small, spherical, Nerds-alike candy, coated in fizzy sour powder.

They are dispensed out of a cute, environment-friendly, Orion Drive-themed container, which is often used to dispense the candy directly into your mouth.

"Now with 97% less nuclear materials!"