Things that NASA never said at a press conference.

[TheEpicSquared]

"We have found hard evidence of extreterrestrial life"

^ I soo wish that that'll happen sometime soon  

Edited February 14, 2017 by TheEpicSquared

[munlander1]

There is a large planet heading towards earth that will create huge earth quakes and destroy the earth and civilization as we know it 

[KAL 9000]

"Luckily, we are building a giant spring to deflect the planet when it hits."

[Spaceception]

3 minutes ago, KAL 9000 said:

"Luckily, we are building a giant spring to deflect the planet when it hits."

Your Phineas and Ferb reference doesn't get past me

[KAL 9000]

15 minutes ago, Spaceception said:

Your Phineas and Ferb reference doesn't get past me

What? I just thought it would be the most ridiculous way to save the Earth... had no idea.

[Spacetraindriver]

"After 529 test flights we are SURE this version of the rocket will work."

Edited February 15, 2017 by Spacetraindriver

[munlander1]

We forgot to CHECK YO STAGING and are rocket was destroyed.

[adsii1970]

"Ground Control to Major Tom..."

[kerbiloid]

"Today we can reveal the truth. The Martian Face indeed speaks with us."

[max_creative]

They never said that this was an actual press conference and not just them trolling us.  

[55delta]

"We are pushing forward with congress on funding a mission to send and establish either a slushy or snow-cone machine on the surface of Europa."

"The administration denies all reports that there is a stranded astronaut at the Ares 3 landing site. This topic is closed."

[0111narwhalz]

"We decided that the EM Drive was impractical because of the NaN crash last week."

[kerbiloid]

"We have found DNA traces on Mars. Now we know that Mars is inhabited by cows, tomatoes and lettuce."

[55delta]

"During re-entry, they will also perform an experiment to study the direct effects that re-entry pressure and heating has on the human body."

"We can only establish our radar tracking after radio contact with the capsule has been made."

"The launch was scrubbed today when all flight controller abstained from the go no-go poll. In retrospect, we shouldn't have called the lunch break just before."

[StrandedonEarth]

"We'd like to introduce our newest astronauts: Jebediah, Bob, and Bill!"

[kerbiloid]

"We are now discussing: is it a cheating - to use an autopilot during the flight."

[Benjamin Kerman]

Many of our science experiments are store-bought models with wires stuck to the back

[55delta]

"We have all agreed to set up a golf course for giant robots on the moon."

"We are re-considering the White House's position on building a Death Star..."

Edited February 22, 2017 by 55delta

[Nothalogh]

"on schedule, the vehicle executed a planned transverse roll, before dropping the booster stage and continuing on to orbital insertion"

Edited February 24, 2017 by Nothalogh

[StupidAndy]

"SCIEEEEEENCE!!!!!!"

[55delta]

"Physics, physics, physics, physics, physics, physics, physics, physics. I hope you're getting this all down."

[Benjamin Kerman]

We did a reverse Holman transfer orbit to swing by Mercury at ~12 km/s, did a long burn on the LOXH2 engines to vastly increase the velocity of the spacecraft, and then parked it at L2 of the Milky Way.

[55delta]

"...the life-support aboard the ISS. Fortunately, the crew reversed the polarity of the neutron flow and that seems to have solved the problem. They are now checking through all the systems..."

"The alien ship's captain offered to give us one of their spare shuttles and a mobile communications system. However, we turned the offer down on the grounds that..."

[WinkAllKerb'']

we do not start to think & to think seriously about sanding *censored* in one on the anatratica outpost, no we don't

[Human Person]

"No, we didn't test our new rocket before using it to launch 16 tourists to the moon."

Edited February 26, 2017 by Physics Student