Puns!

[XB-70A]

Honestly, I can't understand why jackhammers still aren't regarded as groundbreaking inventions.

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What one would say if a pun enters a room to kill ten people?

Pun in - Ten dead.

Edited August 16, 2020 by XB-70A

[Nantares]

I rather wearing a kimono than Dres.

[StrandedonEarth]

[XB-70A]

Just leaving this here.

 

[StrandedonEarth]

[Scarecrow71]

I dated a girl who had a lazy eye when I was younger.  I had to break up with her, though; I was worried she was seeing someone on the side.

[ColdJ]

In yet another Thai Dye incedent, a man got strangled to death when his tie got caught in a car door as it was leaving.

[Scarecrow71]

I was walking my dog today when I came across a couple of chickens having a rather loud argument.  They were cursing and swearing at each other at the tops of their lungs.  It didn't bother me, though; it was just a bunch of foul language.

[ColdJ]

I came upon some ponies fighting and calling out rudely but it turns out it was all acting for some horse play.

[AtomicTech]

Jokes written on paper are quite...

Spoiler

TEAR-ABLE

 

[ColdJ]

I man wanted some really fast transport so he combined a Lamb, a wild boar and a Guinea pig together.

Now he has a Lamborghini.

[ColdJ]

This is from the user @Tundra as found in another thread.

Why did the scarecrow win the award?

 

 

Because he was outstanding in his field.

[Tundra]

What is the worst part about ancient history class?

 

Spoiler

The teachers tend to Babylon

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

What are the similarities between a 1997 computer and an air conditioner?

 

Spoiler

The both become useless as soon as you open windows

 

Edited January 7, 2022 by Tundra

[ColdJ]

20 DOGS ESCAPED FROM THE POUND. THE POLICE CAN'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL THEY GET SOME LEADS.

[ColdJ]

This thread has been Expunged.

[StrandedonEarth]

Sigh…

[kspbutitscursed]

i'm in  a very punny mood at the moment

[AlamoVampire]

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

a buccaneer

234009302023

[Nazalassa]

A function  x -> x²  goes for a walk in a wood. When it comes home, it has became  x -> |x| . Why?

Because it tripped on a root.

 

Another one: where do mathematicians go shopping?

At the decimall.

[AlamoVampire]

Im a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite remarkable.

020410012023

[kspbutitscursed]

yeah i  better get cracking on the eggcellent puns

[Scarecrow71]

When I was younger I dated a girl who was slightly cross-eyed.  I had to break up with her after a while.  We just didn't see eye-to-eye.

[AlamoVampire]

What is a tacos favorite tv show? Better call Salsa

why cant you tell a taco a secret? It would spill the beans.

what did the irish wrap say? Taco of the morning to you.

———

puns lifted from todays Beard Meats Food on youtube. “Trying to beat Manchester’s All-you-can-eat taco record!”

152111232023

[Scarecrow71]

After I broke up with the cross-eyed girl, I briefly dated her sister, who had a lazy eye.  Had to break up with her, too.  Why?  I was afraid she was seeing someone on the side.