Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Spaceman.Spiff]

Granted, but they are all stick figures. 

I wish Community got a movie.

[Popestar]

Granted.  They get "The Colony".  Terrible movie to get.  I mean have you seen that?  Uck.

I wish for a towel, and to know where that towel is.

[Spaceman.Spiff]

Granted. The towel is made of Saran Wrap. It is clear and gets stuck to your hand when you try to pick it up.  You don’t get dry, either. It’s not a very good towel. 

I wish for sleep. Good night. 

Edited January 7, 2021 by Spaceman.Spiff

[AlamoVampire]

Granted but while you sleep you dream if being chased by snowgoons!

i wish i had a phial of fantasia (ffxiv reference) in real life.

231201062021

corrected spelling thanks to the post below this one. Thanks @kerbiloid!

edit performed at 000001072021

Edited January 7, 2021 by AlamoVampire

[kerbiloid]

Granted. Now google knows the word "phile".

I want google to duck-duck and go.

 

[Spaceman.Spiff]

Granted, but you now have become a goose. 

I want a new planet in KSP

[kerbiloid]

Granted.  There is a new planet in KSP.
But it is not made visible.

I want Minmus had  a Munmis twin.

[Spaceman.Spiff]

Granted. It is a blob of mint ice cream that was on the floor of the Mun lander. Jeb eats it.

I wish that jet engines worked in space.

[Delta dart]

Granted but now they only work in space.

I wish Kerbals were real.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. Now Kerbals are not integer.

I wish for Minmuntu Linux.

[Popestar]

Granted.  Red Hat owns the code, and it is not made public.  It's also horribly buggy and has memory leaks.

I wish my laptop wasn't dying.

[Delta dart]

Granted it can no longer be dying because it died.

I wish there was a Half Life 3 that wasn't a prequal.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. There was. Until they incidentally had pressed Shift-Del.

I wish Gordon Freeman had shaved his beard because he's wearing a protective suit.

[AlamoVampire]

Granted but his suit is now filled with beard shavings.

i wish we had more srbs.

004501092022

Edited January 9, 2021 by AlamoVampire

[kerbiloid]

Granted. Fuel gets dried in fuel tanks, so now all KSP boosters became srb.

I wish for "pressurized"/"unpressurized" states of the command pods and other modules in KSP.

[LittleBitMore]

Granted. However, the default setting for command pods is depressurized, and kerbals suddenly die upon launch due to oblivious players.

edit: forgot a wish. I wish people didn't forget to put wishes on their posts here.

Edited January 9, 2021 by LittleBitMore

[NutellaSandwich]

Granted. Now everyone remembers, just doesn't do it.

I wish for a better clock.

[GuessingEveryDay]

Granted, however, it's made out of nutella.

[Spaceman.Spiff]

You didn't make a wish! I also see that as a complete win 

I wish for Dres to exist

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You have bought KSP. Dres exists there.

I wish the Dres  canyon had bridges.

[Spaceman.Spiff]

Granted, the bridge is a single strut, and it runs longways along the canyon. It is also the only thing holding "Dres" together.

I wish for NSWRs to be in use as a launch vehicle.

[Popestar]

Granted.  New South Wales Railways (NSWR) allows their passenger cars to be used as launch vehicles, capable of ferrying passengers into space.  They are, unfortunately, not pressurized or even stable enough to be used, so thousands of passengers die before they are sued out of business.

I wish people wouldn't use acronyms when they make wishes.

[Spaceman.Spiff]

denied, it makes it more funny

Granted, but acronyms no longer exist

I wish SLS () wasn't dumb

 

[kerbiloid]

Granted. It's a Dumb Buster.

I wish for moar pictures of Dreamchaser.

[AmericanRocketryRambler]

granted. but they are so ugly your brain melts and your eyes fall out of your head

 

I wish for honest to goodness oxygen, no poison, nothing wrong with it.