Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Scarecrow71]

Granted.  You die, instantly.  Don't need to shovel if you are dead.

I wish for snow.

[Kimera Industries]

Granted. The entire earth is now a snowball, and everyone dies of hypothermia.

I wish for rain.

[kerbiloid]

You two. I hate you. It's snowraining here irl after your wishes.

I wish for dry, cloudy weather.

[ColdJ]

Granted: It is now raining cornstarch.

I wish I could remember what I am doing.

[Watermel00n]

Granted.

You can't remember what you are doing if you never did anything.

I wish for more wishes. 

[ColdJ]

Granted: You get all the wishes that nobody else wants.

I wish a hard reset.

[Kimera Industries]

Granted. A brick flies through your window. Written on it is the word "Reset."

I wish I had the newest-generation laptop.

[ColdJ]

Granted: You now have a brand new baby sitting on you. Make sure to cradle its head and enjoy the next 18 years of protecting it and keeping it healthy.

I wish to focus.

 

[TwoCalories]

Granted, you focus in getting unfocused.

I wish to be refocused into unfocusing from being unfocused due to trying to refocus my focus on being unfocused, which resulted in my focus being that of unfocused, so trying to refocus my unfocused focus focus unfocused refocused unchjfd dfjhadsfjdsa hjdfsjkhsk jhdfhjkdfjhk djsklkfjhdshfljkdshuieriuoewr hdsafiuhowh3dusidfhds

Edited March 9, 2024 by TwoCalories
Real footage of me trying to coherently type that sentence

[ColdJ]

Granted:

I wish for some nice tunes.

[Exploro]

Granted. A woodpecker arrives at your home and proceeds to play the song of its people for hours, drumming, drumming upon your chamber door.

I wish that the 3.5 mm headphone port on my phone would go back to being functional once more, in a way that does not compromise the functionality and utility of the rest of the phone.

 

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You stick a bird feather into it. Now it has a decoration functionality.

I wish for a normal OS instead of Win vs *nix false choice.

 

Edited March 20, 2024 by kerbiloid

[ColdJ]

Granted: You get an SOS.

I wish I knew ahead instead of endlessly experimenting to get things right.

[Scarecrow71]

Granted.  You know a head.

I wish I could erase that show from my memory.  Permanently.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. Now you are dreaming of its return instead of you got instead.

I wish for iWish.

[Kimera Industries]

Granted. In paying for an Apple service, you are now forced to sell your second kidney. (The first was used to pay for your now-obsolete iPhone model.)

I wish I had a sandwich made of bread, mayo, meat, and cheese.

[Exploro]

Granted. Behold a sandwich materializes before you. It is comprised of two slices of bread. So far so good. Each slide is slathered with the appropriate amount of mayo and trimmed with whichever cheese suits your fancy. As for the meat; it is monkey's brain which has the texture of snot but I am told the taste is out of this world.

I wish for a hearty vegetable soup.

[ColdJ]

Granted: You are transported to the "Waiter there is a _______ in my soup" thread.

I wish for a no calorie chocolate cake.

[Scarecrow71]

Granted.  You receive a picture of a slice of chocolate cake.

I wish the picture of the chocolate cake was edible.

[ColdJ]

Granted: It is, but it just tastes like paper.

I wish it tasted like chocolate cake.

[Exploro]

Granted. Difficult aspect of this wish is what "it" was supposed to taste like chocolate cake (wish maker never specified). Thus, you receive chocolate cake flavored motor oil.

I wish for a free oil change for my car.

Edited March 22, 2024 by Exploro

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You pour sunflower oil into the car instead of the super-duper licensed one.

I wish for a pet planet.

[ColdJ]

Granted:You get a plastic planet.

(PET Plastics are some of the more commonly discussed plastics when searching for solutions for drinking water. Unlike other types of plastics, polyethylene terephthalate is considered safe and is represented on water bottles with the number "1", indicating it is a safe option.)

I wish that carrots tasted like chocolate cake.

[kerbiloid]

They do, and this alarms you, as usually they don't.

I wish to understand, why "our" city part, green and having historically cultural objects, situating right on the main and historically first street of this city, the first street with tram, is almost absolutely not depicted on old photos, while others are.
Neighter XIX, nor early XX, nor mid XX...

Edited March 23, 2024 by kerbiloid

[ColdJ]

Granted: You now understand but cannot explain it to others.

I wish a Lego train set.