Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Exploro]

 

39 minutes ago, TwoCalories said:

Granted. You try it and go to the ER with a broken pinky.

I wish pinky toes had a purpose other than get bumped into table legs and causing extreme pain.

Granted. Your pinky toes double as olfactory organs. Thus your world constantly reeks of stinky-feet. This is in addition to the prospect of bumping them into table legs and experiencing the extreme pain that ensues. You're welcome.

I wish future generations are not cursed with accessory nails on their pinky toes.

Edited December 10, 2023 by Exploro

[AlamoVampire]

Granted. All nails get accessory nails.

i wish i understood why the caged fox sings and what the bid said and what exactly the answer to “what the dog doin” is. 

194212092023

Edited December 10, 2023 by AlamoVampire

[kerbiloid]

Granted. The fox brakes the cage and throws out the keys.

Spoiler

(embedded chars prevent embedding)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt7U0-N1mlk

 

I wish someone has noticed when the cloak disappears.

[Scarecrow71]

Granted, but they don't tell you when they do.

I wish the letter L would be permanently replaced with the number 7.

[Kimera Industries]

Granted, but Eng7ish is 7ots and 7ots more 7inguistica77y cha77enging now.

I wish the Eng7ish 7anguage wou7d be fixed forever.

Edited December 19, 2023 by Kimera Industries

[AlamoVampire]

Granted, numbers cease to exist.

i wish you user below me happy holidays!

214212182023

[Kimera Industries]

Granted, but the rest of my life is even better.

I wish everyone Happy holidays.

Edited December 19, 2023 by Kimera Industries

[Scarecrow71]

Granted.  The holidays are happy for everyone.  After the holidays, though, everyone is not happy.  Not even close.  So much sadness.

I wish for all of my New Years' Resolutions to actually come to fruition.

[Kimera Industries]

Granted, but you check your resolutions and it seems they are different from what you expected, in a negative way.

I wish the Earth was not an oblate spheroid, but a perfect sphere.

[TwoCalories]

Granted. To make it a perfect sphere, everything, and I mean everything, on the surface is wiped out or filled in. Every continent. Every island. Every farm. Every city. From Mt. Everest to the Mariana Trench, they are razed to the ground or filled with earth. Nothing is spared in the great purge. By the end, not a single living thing is left. Every human, animal, and fish are extinct. But Earth is now a perfect sphere! And deep down, isn't that what we all want?

I wish to Revert to VAB.

[Kimera Industries]

Granted, but the game crashes mid-revert and you are stuck in the great loading void forever.

I wish I had another wish.

[ColdJ]

Granted: but now you can only wish for another wish in an endless cycle.

I wish for no presents.

(Happy End of Year everyone)

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You get pasts and futures instead.

I wish for hyperdimensional virtually limitless virtual memory.

[AlamoVampire]

Granted. It exists in your imagination but hyper-dimensionally.

i wish to see a v8 powered cow that barks rocket exhaust that launches jeb at bill and bob

131012222023

[Kimera Industries]

Granted, but the sight of such a scene blinds you.

I wish I knew what was going on, all the time.

[AlamoVampire]

Granted. You know what every single quark across the whole universe is doing at every Planck unit of time at all times. Its so much data you become completely paralyzed and cant move or communicate.

i wish to do that

132812222023

[Kimera Industries]

Granted, but there's no longer any reason to. It becomes a useless skill.

I wish it would snow where I live.

[AlamoVampire]

Granted! You get a complete white out blizzard dropping 48 inches of snow an hour and thunder comes with it.

i wish you user below me good holiday meals.

134412222023

[ColdJ]

Granted:

I wish the same to you and everbody else.

[TwoCalories]

Granted. Uh... dang, how am I supposed to corrupt that?

I wish I could pilot an F/A-18E Super Hornet.

[Kimera Industries]

Granted, but you're really bad at it. You can't even figure out how to turn on the engine.

I wish I could have my own runway in my backyard.

[TwoCalories]

Granted. It's the length of the backyard, though, so it's too short for any plane to land or take off from.

I wish for a dog-themed calendar for 2024.

[Kimera Industries]

Granted, it's a dog with a calendar affixed to it. Any attempts to approach it result in it biting you and then running away.

I wish I had a helicopter.

[ColdJ]

Granted: You "Had" a Helicopter, but someone stole it.

I wish you a Happy New Year.

[TwoCalories]

Granted. But it becomes unhappy once the year turns old, or when some tragic/disastrous/cataclysmic thing happens within three months of the new year, as it seems to do in the 2020s.

I wish for 2024 to break this streak.