'Io' movie (2019) - with extra epic wrong science

[kerbiloid]

The balloon cabin (00:50) looks strangely familiar...

[RealKerbal3x]

Pfft.

A toxic wasteland with hundreds of volcanoes spewing acid as the only hope for mankind? Seems legit.

[p1t1o]

Honestly I think the same thing about movies about the Moon or Mars.

[TheSaint]

1 hour ago, p1t1o said:

Honestly I think the same thing about movies about the Moon or Mars.

I can see what you're getting at, but let's be honest: Mars is a sub-tropical paradise compared to Io. We're going to be colonizing Triton before we colonize Io. Whoever wrote this movie is cracked.

[Spaceception]

15 hours ago, lajoswinkler said:

What is wrong with people who make films today? Why do they make the trailers with those awful sounds? DUN DUN DUN! DUUUUUUN!!!11! I'm sick of it.

 

As much as I may agree with the first part, leave that music alone (You would probably hate my writing music playlist)

[ProtoJeb21]

On 1/16/2019 at 11:20 AM, StrandedonEarth said:

Potential major challenge: plugging all those volcanoes 

Considering how much pressure is stuck under the surface due to tidal forces, it’ll be impossible to plug the old volcanoes without leading to new ones forming. Even if you did manage to clog all of them up, you’d just lock up even more pressure and risk causing even worse eruptions, and even if you avoid that, the radiation would cook you alive pretty quickly. 

After the success of Bird Box, I guess Netflix thinks they can get away with lazy writing if their movies have a concept interesting enough to get people talking about it. Just by the fact that they chose Io for their setting confirms that they put in ZERO effort into the research or the writing. 

[StrandedonEarth]

4 minutes ago, ProtoJeb21 said:

Considering how much pressure is stuck under the surface due to tidal forces, it’ll be impossible to plug the old volcanoes without leading to new ones forming. Even if you did manage to clog all of them up, you’d just lock up even more pressure and risk causing even worse eruptions, and even if you avoid that, the radiation would cook you alive pretty quickly. 

I was actually referring to plugging terrestrial volcanoes touched off by a cataclysmic impact. I guess I shouldn’t have started a new paragraph for that line. 

[SnakyLeVrai]

7 minutes ago, ProtoJeb21 said:

Considering how much pressure is stuck under the surface due to tidal forces, it’ll be impossible to plug the old volcanoes without leading to new ones forming. Even if you did manage to clog all of them up, you’d just lock up even more pressure and risk causing even worse eruptions, and even if you avoid that, the radiation would cook you alive pretty quickly. 

There's this theory about Venus, that there is no plate tectonics like there is on Earth. On our planet it allows heat to escape, but the lack of plate tectonics on Venus forces heat to accumulate until everything bursts and covers the whole place in lava, hence the cyclic resurfacing events theorized...

[Shpaget]

7 hours ago, kerbiloid said:

The balloon cabin (00:50) looks strangely familiar...

Also, the balloon looks woefully inadequate.

[DDE]

Scripts like these make me wonder where the authors had heard of Io from... clearly this wasn't a science book. Maybe it's a minor fluff piece in Detroit: Become Human? Yeah, I think it's actually plausible they came up with an entire script since they assumed Io is a better target than Mars if future NASA is interested in it.

Scientific illiterates are weird.

[GDJ]

6 hours ago, TheSaint said:

I can see what you're getting at, but let's be honest: Mars is a sub-tropical paradise compared to Io. We're going to be colonizing Triton before we colonize Io. Whoever wrote this movie is cracked.

The heck with Io. I'd go to Europa first.

[StrandedonEarth]

11 minutes ago, GDJ said:

The heck with Io. I'd go to Europa first.

Maybe because of those, uh, things from Europa Report

[GDJ]

Just now, StrandedonEarth said:

Maybe because of those, uh, things from Europa Report

Phht. Whaddatheygonnado? Take away my birthday!? Theheckwiththem.

[SnakyLeVrai]

7 hours ago, StrandedonEarth said:

(snip)

Maybe because of those, uh, things from Europa Report

 

KILL'EM ALL!

[Bill Phil]

7 hours ago, GDJ said:

The heck with Io. I'd go to Europa first.

Still radiation. Maybe Callisto... 

But dang those are far away. 

[kerbiloid]

1 hour ago, Bill Phil said:

But dang those are far away. 

No problem. They have a balloon.

[TheSaint]

I was actually chatting about this with my wife last night and it occurred to me that maybe the movie is another "bait-and-switch" like Ascension was, and it will turn out that the characters aren't living on Io at all but they're in a VR or in a biodome or something. In which case they will have to be the stupidest people on Earth to believe that the environment they are living in is actually on Io.

In other words: It's the 'B' Ark.

Edited January 18, 2019 by TheSaint

[SnakyLeVrai]

50 minutes ago, TheSaint said:

I was actually chatting about this with my wife last night and it occurred to me that maybe the movie is another "bait-and-switch" like Ascension was, and it will turn out that the characters aren't living on Io at all but they're in a VR or in a biodome or something. In which case they will have to be the stupidest people on Earth to believe that the environment they are living in is actually on Io.

In other words: It's the 'B' Ark.

It doesn't happen on Io it's happening on Earth. Those two were left behind when everyone left for Io and now they're trying to join the rest of mankind. Why they named it Io is completely beyond me. Why those two are trying to join their friends on Io is not making sense either, because it's a hellish place to be.

I guess in the NEAR future, as advertised in the trailer, people are smart and skilled enough to jerry rig an orbital capable vehicle with a team of 2, but not enough to decide of a better course of action than cruising to a certain death.

 

That's quite an expensive way to commit suicide, if you ask me. And it takes patience to get there... Is that 9 years to go to Jupiter? I don't remember...

edit: Ha, yeah maybe this is a B Ark : "LIFE IS BETTER ON IO! FREE SEATS!"

Edited January 18, 2019 by SnakyLeVrai
B Ark :)

[Gapone]

From Wikipedia:

"Io (Jupiter I) is the innermost of the four Galilean moons of the planet Jupiter. It is the fourth-largest moon, has the highest density of all the moons, and has the least amount of water of any known astronomical object in the Solar System. It was discovered in 1610 and was named after the mythological character Io, a priestess of Hera who became one of Zeus' lovers."

"Io (Jupiter I) is the innermost of the four Galilean moons of the planet Jupiter. It is the fourth-largest moon, has the highest density of all the moons, and has the least amount of water of any known astronomical object in the Solar System."

"It is the fourth-largest moon, has the highest density of all the moons, and has the least amount of water of any known astronomical object in the Solar System."

has the highest density of all the moons, and has the least amount of water of any known astronomical object in the Solar System

has the least amount of water of any known astronomical object in the Solar System

has the least amount of water

least amount of water

least amount of water

[kerbiloid]

So, yes, Io was on purpose.
Noone of we has guessed right. A shame.
A shame.

(Not a spoiler, as right the very opening of the movie).

The humans needed energy, they've built a powerplant using "geothermal" (i.e. tidal) energy. Obviously, Io.
When Earth had banned the greedy humans, they've escaped to the powerplant, i.e. to Io.
Shame upon us, as nobody got this.

(Spoiler ahead).

Spoiler

Later they're planning to Proxima.
The girltagonist teaches the GMO bees to make honey _{(toxic??? LOL!!!)}, munchkinizes the shops, studies the studies, and lets the narrators to bring to us the phylosophical wisdom under nice worrying ambient and sometimes classics.
_{пчёлы-мутанты-самогонщики}

Above the toxic mist the air is clear. There she lives.
Why the rain is not toxic and why it doesn't wash out the toxic mist, I don't know.

They eat vegetables with honey. 
No edible beings. I can't get why doesn't she breed some huge GMO bees for meat.

Io and spaceships are not included, as this is not a fanservicing sci-fi, but a phylosophical wisdom.

(Viewing it in background by ears is problematic, as we can hear mostly the ambient, the girl's gas mask gasping, and random inspiring messages about the future expedition and phylosophical wisdom).

P.S.
The ambient itself is nice for me.

 

Edited January 18, 2019 by kerbiloid

[TheSaint]

27 minutes ago, kerbiloid said:

So, yes, Io was on purpose.
Noone of we has guessed right. A shame.
A shame.

(Not a spoiler, as right the very opening of the movie).

The humans needed energy, they've built a powerplant using "geothermal" (i.e. tidal) energy. Obviously, Io.
When Earth had banned the greedy humans, they've escaped to the powerplant, i.e. to Io.
Shame upon us, as nobody got this.

(Spoiler ahead).

  Reveal hidden contents

Later they're planning to Proxima.
The girltagonist teaches the GMO bees to make honey _{(toxic??? LOL!!!)}, munchkinizes the shops, studies the studies, and lets the narrators to bring to us the phylosophical wisdom under nice worrying ambient and sometimes classics.
_{пчёлы-мутанты-самогонщики}

Above the toxic mist the air is clear. There she lives.
Why the rain is not toxic and why it doesn't wash out the toxic mist, I don't know.

They eat vegetables with honey. 
No edible beings. I can't get why doesn't she breed some huge GMO bees for meat.

Io and spaceships are not included, as this is not a fanservicing sci-fi, but a phylosophical wisdom.

(Viewing it in background by ears is problematic, as we can hear mostly the ambient, the girl's gas mask gasping, and random inspiring messages about the future expedition and phylosophical wisdom).

P.S.
The ambient itself is nice for me.

 

Well, yeah, because, you know, there's no place else in the solar system that produces a lot of energy.

Io is the obvious, conveniently-located choice.

Spoiler joke:

Spoiler

Mmmm...bee meat...just like mom used to make....

 

[SnakyLeVrai]

"Let's go to Io!"

"Why?"

"Because geothermal energy is cool!"

"yaaaayyyyyy!!!"

feels like a Don Hertzfeldt animation...

 

 

And they don't even gravity turn when the rockets blast off. That's an awesome tech they got here.

 

I mean come on. To settle on Io, or in orbit of Io even, you'll need to sustain mankind over there. To stay for good. For dramatization's sake, let's just say they Earth got so toxic only a fraction of the population survived. Let's say only 100,000 people survived (that's 1 in 70,000, quite the drama huh?). How do you sustain this amount of people in a hostile environment where :

• thanks to @Gapone doing the homework I was too lazy to do  , we know we have the least amount of water in the solar system there,
• we can't grow anything in the ground - my sources tell me it's even harder to have vegetables grow spontaneously out of VACUUM, unless you wait 10^10,000 years and expect for something to happen out of quantum fluctuations,
• we have no atmosphere outside so we need reinforced hulls to hold the pressure in, pressure that pushes tons against the walls,
• nor do we have a credible ballistic protection against projectiles hurled around screaming, by the biggest slingshot around, save from the Sun itself,
• did I mention RADIATIONS?

There's no safe place to be, only hazards everywhere, that we don't have on Earth. So, we need some sort of super advanced tech to thrive in such a bad place.

Soooo... why not use some of that tech and build a nice mansion with an airlock, decontamination shower, and stay safe from micrometeorites, asteroids, radiations, volcanos, tidal quakes, the vacuum of space, low sunlight due to distance from the sun... Or build a Zen cabin in the Himalayas?

Why do everything we can to put ourselves in more danger than need be? how is it possible that all those epic rocket scientists and biologists and whatnot developped some epic tech, to enable mankind to live in hell like it's a vacation, but none thought about cleaning the darn lawn?

 

Feels like: oh, the bog is clogged and it's starting to smell. Let's abandon house and live in the Gobi desert.

Mind blown.

[DDE]

6 hours ago, Gapone said:

least amount of water

We'll solve the other problems when we get to them (tm)

3 hours ago, SnakyLeVrai said:

Why do everything we can to put ourselves in more danger than need be? how is it possible that all those epic rocket scientists and biologists and whatnot developped some epic tech, to enable mankind to live in hell like it's a vacation, but none thought about cleaning the darn lawn?

Because this is how the brains of laymen work with regards to space colonization. Since the proponents wanna go laces, evidently it's easier to live there.

Worse yet, since it's borderline "cli-fi" (that's apparently a thing), the ability to survive the ecological collapse on Earth gets in the way of the basic premise: anthropogenic degradation of the entire biosphere being an unrevivable doomsday scenario.

[kerbiloid]

Io surface area is 0.082 of Earth surface.

The terrestrial hypsometric curve:

Spoiler

So, they should probably find some highlands as it's said above.

[LordFerret]

23 hours ago, Gapone said:

From Wikipedia:

"Io (Jupiter I) is the innermost of the four Galilean moons of the planet Jupiter. It is the fourth-largest moon, has the highest density of all the moons, and has the least amount of water of any known astronomical object in the Solar System. It was discovered in 1610 and was named after the mythological character Io, a priestess of Hera who became one of Zeus' lovers."

"Io (Jupiter I) is the innermost of the four Galilean moons of the planet Jupiter. It is the fourth-largest moon, has the highest density of all the moons, and has the least amount of water of any known astronomical object in the Solar System."

"It is the fourth-largest moon, has the highest density of all the moons, and has the least amount of water of any known astronomical object in the Solar System."

has the highest density of all the moons, and has the least amount of water of any known astronomical object in the Solar System

has the least amount of water of any known astronomical object in the Solar System

has the least amount of water

least amount of water

least amount of water

Not to mention, it's an astronomical object