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Kerbal Death Note


Mars-Bound Hokie

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  • 2 weeks later...

Kirk was just walking on the streets of Woomerang when suddenly, high above the city, a cargo plane carrying explosive substances was starting to crash. One of the crewmembers' kPhone 5c slipped out through the hole and fell to the ground. It landed on Kirk's head, forcing him to the ground where he snapped his neck on the curb.

 

Jenny Kerman will die after snorting hot tea through her nose.

Edited by Mars-Bound Hokie
Didn't see Kirk Kerman
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  • 1 month later...

Ford Kerman was walking on the street when a giant asteroid made of highly radioactive elements appears nearby Kerbin. The radioactive was so high that everyone is dead. But the elder gods of the Kerbal civilization revived everyone except Ford because an accident wiped out his file on every database. 

Dr. Abel Kerman - coincidence 

Edited by Abel Military Services
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Dr Abel Kerman had just demolished somebodies house. By strange coincidence a Vogon constructor fleet then demolished the planet they were on, to make a Hyperspace Bypass.

Washington Kerman: Wooden teeth.

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Washington Kerman was a molotov scientist who mainly tests things that can make flammable things on fire(AKA molotov). While he's testing a new type of molotov the liquid in the bottle somehow get through an unstable Einstein-Rosen bridge into his mouth. Unluckily, his teeth is made of wood, which is a flammable material. 

Dr. Bright Kerman - Cthulhu

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  • 6 months later...

Dr. Bright Kerman was a weird child with bright dreams and a bright future. He wanted to beat the sea speed record. He was engineering all day, that's why he failed most of his classes. He got rejected from engineering school. So he made his own company to make boats and ships. He started out small and made a wooden boat. He stole some jet engines from the KSC, tested it out, reached 200m/s, but he crashed and was in a coma for a week. He broke the record. However that was not enough for him. He continued making "boats".  300m/s. 400m/s. 500m/s. All conquered. Yet not enough. Until he made a craft to go 600m/s. He reached 550 when he got surrounded by a storm. He hit the emergency brakes and flew out of the front window. He managed to survive but the next thing he saw was Cthulhu. Ok lets just get to the endz he got died. Fin.

Aero Kerman: Reviving a dead thread

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L00ny Kerman learnt about C# coding and decided to make a custom KSP plugin that would spawn space junk in orbit above him. However, he forgot to set them at a proper orbital altitude and the space junk collided into him at orbital speed.

 

revan kerman (why haven’t i changed my name yet) - Kopernicus planets

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Revan Kerman spent three weeks making a mod for Hooman Space Program with Kopernicus. He then tried to load up his mod, but it didn't work. Angered and frustrated, he poofed into smoke, like Kerbals do.

Doyle Kerman - Tidal waves

Edited by TwoCalories
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Doyle Kerman was an owner of a small fishing boat. (Fish in KSP confirmed?) He barely had enough money to live. One day there was going to be a massive storm in the ocean. Dayle was warned, but he ignored it. He sailed into the ocean. Suddenly, a 20 meter wave hit Dayle's boat at 120km/h. He obviously died.

Jar-Jar Kerman - Being clumsy

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Jar-Jar Kerman was preparing the Ranger-1 for launch. The Ranger-1 was an unmanned test mission for an experimental spacecraft. But as they performed the final tasks, Jar-Jar tripped and got locked inside the craft. He was stuck inside as the rocket launched into space. Jar-Jar panicked and started trying to bring the ship down. Unfortunately, he accidentally bumped into the wrong switch, which powered down the spacecraft, sending Jar-Jar to his doom.

Case Kerman - Didn't have time for caution.

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  • 1 month later...

Case Kerman was trying to dock his SSTO to a rotating space station and said "this is no time for caution!" Since he wasn't cautious enough, he smashed into the station and his SSTO depressurized.

Jedebiah Kerman - being confused for Jebediah Kerman.

Edited by TwoCalories
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  • 2 weeks later...

Malgard Kerman was piloting the prototype spacecraft Tutum-4. As he took off expertly, the mysterious force known as the Player stage an SRB randomly a structural linkage between SRB-3 and the main fuselage failed, and the rocket flipped over and ripped apart by the aerodynamic forces. As Malgard panicked, he realized he couldn't find the abort button. As the Tutum-4 tumbled to earth, he managed to find it and start spamming it in panic, before realizing it wasn't set up. So, he started staging rapidly but it separated the abort tower and prematurely activated the parachutes, causing them to rip away, sending Malgard to his doom.

Roger Roger Kerman - Missing his shot.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Roger Roger Kerman was manning the BDArmory turret guarding the airbase at Kola Island, south of the old Island Airstrip. Suddenly, a renegade booster from the KSC came hurtling down upon the airbase. RR Kerman had one shot to take it down before it devastated the base, so he locked on, closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger. In retrospect, closing his eyes was not a good idea, as he didn't notice that the booster shook off his lock just before he fired.

Calor E. Kerman - Rereviving a dead thread.

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  • 5 months later...

Calor E. Kerman, very bored while on a similarly long mission to Eeloo, revives a random HSP forum thread to stir up some conversation with his pals, only to die of a stroke in the MK1-3 command pod by himself after seeing a post that was unrelated to the conversation with untagged flashing lights in it. He was only 1/5th of the way to the frozen dwarf, only being discovered a kerbin day later by his pod mate Halor I. Kerman during a mandatory checkup after Calor failed to return to the on-board science lab.

Javin K. Kerman - Interstellar colony ship failure.

Edited by Iapetus7342
Altered to fit the KSP universe more.
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  • 1 month later...

I think i may have killed the discussion. Let me revive it rq.

Javin was working on the newly launched UKK Spirit of Adventure, a colony vessel outbound to the Rigil Kentarus system, the closest binary system to kerbol. During the mission she was overseeing the Cryonics bay to make sure it didn't fail. She noticed a strange looking panel on CryoPod 2791, and went to investigate it. As soon as she laid her finger on an exposed wire, Javin got a 10Kw shock, knocking her out on the spot. When she awoke, she found that they were placed in that cryopod. The pod's life-support quickly failed, leaving her to freeze to death. Her engineering team found her 5.2 days after she died.

Iapetus Kerman - Aliens.

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Iaptus Kerman was sent deep into space by himself in cryosleep. when he awoke, he was greeted by a Space Marine. Because he was a xeno, the Marine killed him with his holy bolter.

 

Quandale Kerman - gang warfare

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Quandale Kerman was feeling powerful, sure that their faction would win the day. They stepped around a corner and heard a wiz sound, then never thought again.

 

 

Garson Kerman. Historical re-enactment using paint balls

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  • 1 month later...

Garson Kerman LOVED paintball, to the point that every week after work he would drive over to the local arena with his pals and play for a few hours. One day he was alerted to the fact that his amazing skills at paintball and exceptional work at his company had landed him a job at the KSC's interplanetary defense division. He drove over there to celebrate, but a rival of his shot him in the head with some paintballs laced with solid lead. He was pronounced dead at the hospital, and the rival went uncaught for 3 years. Onlookers compared it to an incident that had happened in the late 1960s with the victim dying in a similar way.

Garvey Kerman: Breaking his PC from pure unbridled RAGE

Edited by Iapetus7342
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Garvey Kerman was playing KSP and was right about to complete his landing on Duna when one of the "unexpected" physics glitches happened and threw his rocket out of the in-game Kerbolar System at what would be over the speed of light in real life. He was so angry at his computer that he covered it in liquid rocket fuel then set it alight. As it was burning, Gene Kerman came in and shouted "Garvey, is that our only TWENTY  MILLION  DOLLAR QUANTUM SUPERCOMPUTER?!?!". I expect you can guess what happened next.

Make Linus Kerman collapse into a 2 dimensional plane (if that is too physically unrealistic then hit him with a piece of space debris).

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