Twenty Year School Reunion... What Should I Expect?

[Spacescifi]

It is coming up, I did not go to the first one because I belonged to a high control group religion that uses the BITE model to control members (Behavior control, Information control, Thought control, and Emotion control).

Since breaking free less than a year ago I have not had any IRL friends. I just work and survive.

I broke free because I learned they were keeping information from me and whitewashing their history to make them look as pure as the wind driven snow when they are in fact.... not.

The cost is you lose virtually all contact with anyone still in the high control group, since the only contact they will give is trying to get you to rejoin.

I could have gone to the first school reunion but of course the high control group forbade it because I was still part of it 10 years ago.

 

Now that I am free I want to go to the school reunion but do not know what to expect.

 

What should I expect?

Edited October 6, 2022 by Spacescifi

[AlamoVampire]

I wish I could say. I myself am class 2001 and I dont recall getting an invite to my 10 or 20 year reunions… but, if i had to guess, probably alot of reminiscing about “the glory days” and the like. I would say it is a chance to network with former classmates and friends and reestablish old friendships. Could be a good time. 
183910062022

[Spacescifi]

8 minutes ago, AlamoVampire said:

I wish I could say. I myself am class 2001 and I dont recall getting an invite to my 10 or 20 year reunions… but, if i had to guess, probably alot of reminiscing about “the glory days” and the like. I would say it is a chance to network with former classmates and friends and reestablish old friendships. Could be a good time. 
183910062022

 

I was randomly informed out of the blue by a former classmate who recognizsd me and stopped me in the store.

Opportunities come and go and at times you can never get them back... so chances are I will take and tell you guys how it goes.

[Superfluous J]

It will suck. Sorry to say but it will.

Everybody there will be people you barely remember who you didn't remain friends with for a reason. Either you didn't care enough to remain friends with them, or they didn't care enough to remain friends with you, or both.

Several people will be way better off than everybody else and are there just to rub it in whomever's nose they can, and most everybody else will be just normal people with jobs and families and stuff. I personally wouldn't want to hang out with either set for very long

 

[Spacescifi]

8 minutes ago, Superfluous J said:

It will suck. Sorry to say but it will.

Everybody there will be people you barely remember who you didn't remain friends with for a reason. Either you didn't care enough to remain friends with them, or they didn't care enough to remain friends with you, or both.

Several people will be way better off than everybody else and are there just to rub it in whomever's nose they can, and most everybody else will be just normal people with jobs and families and stuff. I personally wouldn't want to hang out with either set for very long

 

 

That was how yours was? Which one? The ten or 20 year?

[Superfluous J]

30 minutes ago, Spacescifi said:

That was how yours was? Which one? The ten or 20 year?

I actually never went to mine, I live 2000 miles from where I went to high school and that's too far to travel just to not have a good time.

I did though help out at my older brother's 10 year (before I moved away) and knew a lot of the people he was friends with in High School. Every one was either sad or surprising. From the honor student working at the K-mart gun counter to the quiet kid nobody talked to showing up in a suit and at least pretending to be a rich stock broker.

[Spacescifi]

26 minutes ago, Superfluous J said:

I actually never went to mine, I live 2000 miles from where I went to high school and that's too far to travel just to not have a good time.

I did though help out at my older brother's 10 year (before I moved away) and knew a lot of the people he was friends with in High School. Every one was either sad or surprising. From the honor student working at the K-mart gun counter to the quiet kid nobody talked to showing up in a suit and at least pretending to be a rich stock broker.

 

I have no intention of pretending or showing off.

 

My life is more or less starting just now it seems.

The only thing I could possibly show off is that I still look young  despite 20 years and I reckon at least some may be nothing like their past selves.

[Nuke]

i burn my bridges with nuclear fire, so no. also my best friend from high school is dead. 

[kerbiloid]

Rarely someone whom you want to see is present (deeply married, abroad, too busy), but always a straight flush of cards you could with pleasure avoid seeing.

[Caerfinon]

20 hours ago, Spacescifi said:

What should I expect?

At the best, unfulfilled expectations. At the  worst,  unfulfilled expectations and some amount of animosity. 

[JoeSchmuckatelli]

Actually - you will find out you don't really care.  You will meet some people there you enjoy catching up with, see a few you used to like and others you did not... but when its over, you'll be left with something as meaningful as a conversation you once had with someone while waiting for an elevator.

I'd say go - if you are interested.  And it's convenient.  However, if you think you'll run into a bunch of people from your old Church who will grief you or proselytize the whole time... just be ready for that.

[kerbiloid]

In the epoch of internet, the ones who want to meet do that. Then they run a private chat and are happy with each other without a random crowd.

So, unlikely a post-school meeting can be anything but random people meeting.

[Spacescifi]

2 hours ago, JoeSchmuckatelli said:

Actually - you will find out you don't really care.  You will meet some people there you enjoy catching up with, see a few you used to like and others you did not... but when its over, you'll be left with something as meaningful as a conversation you once had with someone while waiting for an elevator.

I'd say go - if you are interested.  And it's convenient.  However, if you think you'll run into a bunch of people from your old Church who will grief you or proselytize the whole time... just be ready for that.

 

It's just curiousity really... the old church members won't be there because they they only associate with non-members at work and school, anything else is either discouraged or forbidden in the church.

 

Which means this will be the first time I have ever gone to a purely social event with non-church members.

 

To go where no man has gone before and all that... it's just a novelty for me besides the fact that on some level think I need friends since I have had none since my exit of the church.

 

I may get nothong out of this than curiousity satisfied and a free meal, and that will be good enough for me.

[TheSaint]

Well, I guess I'm going to be the outlier then. (Again.) I've had tons of fun at my reunions. They weren't earth-shattering, life-changing experiences, but I wasn't really expecting them to be.

10-year I went back and it was a nice dinner and drinks party at a hotel on Friday night, and then Saturday we all got together at the school campus with the families and a bunch of the teachers who showed up. It was great. I was still single at that point, and if I had a mind to I could have totally gotten a date or two out of it. Yeah, there were some folks there who were really trying way too hard to impress everyone. (One guy showed up with two dates, bragging to anyone who would listen about how he had just been accepted to medical school. Um, okay, dude...) But I thought it was really cool to find out how everyone was getting along. I think what I found most interesting was how many people I had not interacted with at all in high school I wound up sitting down and chatting with. Like the girl who had been super overweight, who was now super fit, married, two kids. I didn't even recognize her. We talked for a while about really deep stuff she went through after high school. We had one guy who had been busted for selling cocaine on campus right before graduation, it had been this huge scandal. He showed up married, one on the way, working in real estate, going to church, had really turned his life around. It was really inspiring, actually. 

20-year was even better. I was married at that point, my wife was three months along with our first, so she went home early. A lot of the same folks were there, but some others showed up who hadn't been there for the 10-year. Amusingly, I had like three ex-girlfriends show up, and two of them were divorced and very disappointed that I was now married. LOL Best part was afterwards. So one of my best friends from HS, who graduated a year ahead of me, decided to crash the reunion. He's one of those guys that everybody knows and loves, so he was immediately the life of the party. When the doors of the actual party closed at 11:00, a couple of us and him walk down the street to the Hard Rock Cafe. We walk in the bar, and the bartender is another guy from the class ahead of me that we had all been friends with. We had no clue, complete random chance, none of us had even seen him in years. So suddenly we're all hanging out together and he's not letting us pay for drinks. We closed that place down, and then wound up at some pirate dance club down in West Hollywood for a couple of hours. It was so much fun.

I wanted to go to my 30-year reunion, but they scheduled it for the same weekend that they hold the homeschool conference down in Phoenix, and that was the one weekend a year that my wife had to be able to get away by herself without the kids. So I missed that one. We'll see what the 40-year looks like.

[Spacescifi]

2 hours ago, TheSaint said:

Well, I guess I'm going to be the outlier then. (Again.) I've had tons of fun at my reunions. They weren't earth-shattering, life-changing experiences, but I wasn't really expecting them to be.

10-year I went back and it was a nice dinner and drinks party at a hotel on Friday night, and then Saturday we all got together at the school campus with the families and a bunch of the teachers who showed up. It was great. I was still single at that point, and if I had a mind to I could have totally gotten a date or two out of it. Yeah, there were some folks there who were really trying way too hard to impress everyone. (One guy showed up with two dates, bragging to anyone who would listen about how he had just been accepted to medical school. Um, okay, dude...) But I thought it was really cool to find out how everyone was getting along. I think what I found most interesting was how many people I had not interacted with at all in high school I wound up sitting down and chatting with. Like the girl who had been super overweight, who was now super fit, married, two kids. I didn't even recognize her. We talked for a while about really deep stuff she went through after high school. We had one guy who had been busted for selling cocaine on campus right before graduation, it had been this huge scandal. He showed up married, one on the way, working in real estate, going to church, had really turned his life around. It was really inspiring, actually. 

20-year was even better. I was married at that point, my wife was three months along with our first, so she went home early. A lot of the same folks were there, but some others showed up who hadn't been there for the 10-year. Amusingly, I had like three ex-girlfriends show up, and two of them were divorced and very disappointed that I was now married. LOL Best part was afterwards. So one of my best friends from HS, who graduated a year ahead of me, decided to crash the reunion. He's one of those guys that everybody knows and loves, so he was immediately the life of the party. When the doors of the actual party closed at 11:00, a couple of us and him walk down the street to the Hard Rock Cafe. We walk in the bar, and the bartender is another guy from the class ahead of me that we had all been friends with. We had no clue, complete random chance, none of us had even seen him in years. So suddenly we're all hanging out together and he's not letting us pay for drinks. We closed that place down, and then wound up at some pirate dance club down in West Hollywood for a couple of hours. It was so much fun.

I wanted to go to my 30-year reunion, but they scheduled it for the same weekend that they hold the homeschool conference down in Phoenix, and that was the one weekend a year that my wife had to be able to get away by herself without the kids. So I missed that one. We'll see what the 40-year looks like.

 

Wow... I just saw a recent pic of of one of my classmates and boy oh boy do they look older.

Nobody is going to look the same lol probably.

[TheSaint]

4 hours ago, Spacescifi said:

 

Wow... I just saw a recent pic of of one of my classmates and boy oh boy do they look older.

Nobody is going to look the same lol probably.

LOL. None of us are getting any younger...

[Spacescifi]

21 hours ago, TheSaint said:

LOL. None of us are getting any younger...

 

So for a quick update... I just got back from my reunion.... and was pleasantly surprised.

I could have shaved and would have looked a lot closer to my high school self... since aside from my beard I look much the same.

I was surprised to see how everyone looks older but some still look much the same

 

Spoiler alert! Those living single without kids often look younger than those with kids. I think I know why.

 

One girl I had a crush on in high school has.... a lot of kids. Almost ten!

I look back at my high school days and I am talking more with kids I barely knew in high school than I ever did when I was in.

I look back and think of what could have been and what I could have done.

 

Some of it would have been a bad idea anyway or really difficult... thanks largely to the high control group... only way would have been to leave them decades ago which I would not have done since I was unaware of their errors and mishandling of child abuse at the time.

 

I guess the main lesson I take from my reunion going forward is... life is short, so chase your dreams... it's not as if you will always have an opportunity.

 

Indeed... some of our students have died and I saw a memorial with their pictures on it.

[tater]

Didn't go to mine. All the way across the country, and the only person I wanted to keep in touch with (my buddy I backpacked around Asia with for almost a year), I still keep in touch with.

My wife went to one, musta been 10 year, it was before we had kids, and I went. Some of her friends we actually see (one will be in our guest room in less than a month). Wasn't a huge sales pitch for me to care, course I was not terribly social in HS.

[Spacescifi]

24 minutes ago, tater said:

Didn't go to mine. All the way across the country, and the only person I wanted to keep in touch with (my buddy I backpacked around Asia with for almost a year), I still keep in touch with.

My wife went to one, musta been 10 year, it was before we had kids, and I went. Some of her friends we actually see (one will be in our guest room in less than a month). Wasn't a huge sales pitch for me to care, course I was not terribly social in HS.

 

Neither was I.

 

The ten year is the one were stuff is more likely to be juvenile or about impressing others

 

At twenty years so many have kids they no longer care about impressing or showing off and they already have a husband too so the likelihood of pairing off kinda dims.

 

In fact there were only two girls I saw at my twenty year come without a partner, one I never really was attracted to, the other I never knew in high school... not even her name, and just did not feel motivated either since at best she was I don't think I even had classes with her.

At least others I knew.

[Gargamel]

The thing that bothered me the most at my 20th was the number of people with grand kids.    I wasn't ready for that. 

I'd say go if there are some people you'd like to see, if not, it's no great loss.  

EDIT: Now that I've seen you went, glad you had a good time, I think

Edited October 11, 2022 by Gargamel