This is a bucket...

Deddly · October 20, 2023

After a stunned silence, the crowd bursts into spontaneous applause and begins cheering wildly.

AlamoVampire · October 20, 2023

Suddenly the bucket clears its throat.

There are strange things done in the midnight sun

By the men who moil for gold;

The Arctic trails have their secret tales

That would make your blood run cold;

The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,

But the queerest they ever did see

Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge

I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.

Why he left his home in the South to roam 'round the Pole, God only knows.

He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;

Though he'd often say in his homely way that "he'd sooner live in hell."

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.

Talk of your cold! through the parka's fold it stabbed like a driven nail.

If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn't see;

It wasn't much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,

And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel and toe,

He turned to me, and "Cap," says he, "I'll cash in this trip, I guess;

And if I do, I'm asking that you won't refuse my last request."

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no; then he says with a sort of moan:

"It's the cursèd cold, and it's got right hold till I'm chilled clean through to the bone.

Yet 'tain't being dead—it's my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;

So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you'll cremate my last remains."

A pal's last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;

And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.

He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;

And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn't a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,

With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid, because of a promise given;

It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: "You may tax your brawn and brains,

But you promised true, and it's up to you to cremate those last remains."

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.

In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.

In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,

Howled out their woes to the homeless snows— O God! how I loathed the thing.

And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;

And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;

The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;

And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;

It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the "Alice May."

And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;

Then "Here," said I, with a sudden cry, "is my cre-ma-tor-eum."

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;

Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;

The flames just soared, and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;

And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn't like to hear him sizzle so;

And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began to blow.

It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don't know why;

And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;

But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured near;

I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: "I'll just take a peep inside.

I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked"; ... then the door I opened wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;

And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close that door.

It's fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm—

Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it's the first time I've been warm."

There are strange things done in the midnight sun

By the men who moil for gold;

The Arctic trails have their secret tales

That would make your blood run cold;

The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,

But the queerest they ever did see

Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge

I cremated Sam McGee.

010010202023

AstroWolfie · October 26, 2023

An entity known as the Original Poster appears

I AM THE ORIGINAL POSTER, it exclaims.

I AM PLEASED BY THIS THREAD.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.

CONTINUE YOUR CREATIVITY

FLY SAFE

AlamoVampire · October 26, 2023

Our beauteous bucket calls out for his Purreel chorus and kitten orchestra:

Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?
Come with us and you will see
This, our town of Halloween

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat 'til the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween

I am the one hiding under your bed
Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red
I am the one hiding under your stairs
Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
Halloween, Halloween

In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song
In this town, don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

'Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can
Something's waiting now to pounce and how you'll scream
This is Halloween, red and black, slimy green
Aren't you scared? Well, that's just fine

Say it once, say it twice
Take a chance and roll the dice
Ride with the moon in the dead of night
Everybody scream, everybody scream
In our town of Halloween

I am the clown with the tear-away face
Here in a flash and gone without a trace
I am the who when you call, "Who's there?"
I am the wind blowing through your hair
I am the shadow on the moon at night
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween, Halloween
'Alloween, 'alloween
'Alloween, 'alloween

Tender lumplings everywhere
Life's no fun without a good scare
That's our job, but we're not mean
In our town of Halloween
In this town, don't we love it now?
Everybody is waiting for the next surprise

Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back
And scream like a banshee
Make you jump out of your skin
This is Halloween, everybody scream
Won't you please make way for a very special guy
Our man Jack is king of the Pumpkin Patch
Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
'Alloween, 'alloween
'Alloween, 'alloween

134010262023

AtomicTech · October 26, 2023

The crowd once again burts in thunderous applause.

AlamoVampire · October 26, 2023

Our bucket:

What's this? What's this?
There's color everywhere
What's this?
There's white things in the air
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes, I must be dreaming
Wake up, Jack, this isn't fair
What's this?

What's this? What's this?
There's something very wrong
What's this?
There's people singing songs
What's this?
The streets are lined with little creatures laughing
Everybody seems so happy
Have I possibly gone daffy? What is this?
What's this?

There's children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads
They're busy building toys and absolutely no one's dead
There's frost on every window, oh, I can't believe my eyes
And in my bones I feel the warmth that's coming from inside

Oh look, what's this?
They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss?
Why that looks so unique?
Inspired
They're gathering around to hear a story roasting chestnuts on a fire
What's this?

What's this?
In here they've got a little tree, how queer
And who would ever think?
And why? They're covering it with tiny little things
They've got electric lights on strings and there's a smile on everyone
So, now correct me if I'm wrong
This looks like fun, this looks like fun
Oh, could it be I got my wish?
What's this?

Oh my, what now?
The children are asleep
But look, there's nothing underneath
No ghouls, no witches here to scream and scare them or ensnare them
Only little cozy things secure inside their dreamland
What's this?

The monsters are all missing and the nightmares can't be found
And in their place there seems to be good feeling all around
Instead of screams, I swear, I can hear music in the air
The smell of cakes and pies are absolutely everywhere

The sights, the sounds
They're everywhere and all around
I've never felt so good before
This empty place inside of me is filling up
I simply cannot get enough
I want it, oh, I want it, oh, I want it for my own
I've got to know, I've got to know
What is this place that I have found?

What is this!?
Christmas Town?

141110262023

kspbutitscursed · October 27, 2023

the crowd become so excited that they jump on the stage

AlamoVampire · October 27, 2023

Our bucket:

There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best
For my talents are renowned far and wide
When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night
I excel without ever even trying
With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms
I have seen grown men give out a shriek
With the wave of my hand and a well placed moan
I have swept the very bravest off their feet

Yet year after year, it's the same routine
And I grow so weary of the sound of screams
And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King
Have grown so tired of the same old thing

Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There's something out there, far from my home
A longing that I've never known

I'm the master of fright, and a demon of light
And I'll scare you right out of your pants
To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister Unlucky
And I'm known throughout England and France

And since I am dead, I can take off my head
To recite Shakespearean quotations
No animal nor man can scream like I can
With the fury of my recitations

But who here would ever understand
That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin
Would tire of his crown, if they only understood
He'd give it all up if he only could

Oh, there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears

210010262023

kspbutitscursed · October 27, 2023

more cheering

AlamoVampire · October 27, 2023

Our bucket:

Well, well, well, what have we here?
Sandy Claws, huh?
Ooh, I'm really scared
So, you're the one everybody's talkin' about?

You're joking, you're joking
I can't believe my eyes
You're joking me, you gotta be
This can't be the right guy

He's ancient, he's ugly
I don't know which is worse
I might just split a seam now
If I don't die laughing first

When Mr. Oogie Boogie says
There's trouble close at hand
You'd better pay attention, now
'Cause I'm the Boogie Man
And if you aren't shaking
There's something very wrong
'Cause this may be the last time you hear the Boogie song, oh (wow)
Oh (wow)
Oh (oh, he's the Oogie Boogie Man)

Well, if I'm feelin' ansty
And I've nothin' much to do
I might just cook a special batch
Of snake and spider stew

And don't ya know the one thing
That would make it work so nice?
A roly-poly Sandy Claws to add a little spice (oh)
Oh (oh)
Oh (oh)
Oh yeah, I'm the Boogie Man (oh yeah, he's the Boogie Man)

Release me now
Or you must face the dire consequences
The children are expecting me
So please, come to your senses

You're joking, you're joking
I can't believe my ears
Would someone shut this fella up?
I'm drowning in my tears
It's funny, I'm laughing
You really are too much

And now, with your permission
I'm going to do my stuff
Well, what are you going to do?
I'm going to do the best I can

Oh, the sound of rolling dice
To me is music in the air
'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man
Although I don't play fair
It's much more fun, I must confess
When lives are on the line
Not mine, of course
But yours, oh boy
Now that'd be just fine

Release me fast, or you'll have to answer for this heinous act
Oh brother, you're something
You put me in a spin
You aren't comprehending
The position that you're in
It's hopeless, you're finished
You haven't got prayer
'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie
And you ain't going nowhere

213410162023

Deddly · October 27, 2023

One distracted and underpaid cleaner thoughtlessly grabs the bucket, fills it with soap and water and begins mopping the floor backstage.

AlamoVampire · October 27, 2023

Our bucket after a quick rinse:

Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws?
I wanna do it
Let's draw straws
Jack said, "we should work together"
Three of a kind
Birds of a feather
Now and forever, whee (la, la, la)
(La, la, la)
(La, la, la, la, la, la)

Kidnap the Sandy Claws, lock him up real tight
Throw away the key and then turn off all the lights

First, we're goin' to set some bait
Inside a nasty trap and wait
When he comes a-sniffing we will
Snap the trap and close the gate

Wait, I've got a better plan
To catch this big red lobster man
Let's pop him in a boiling pot
And when he's done we'll butter him up

Kidnap the Sandy Claws, throw him in a box
Bury him for ninety years, then see if he talks

Then Mr. Oogie Boogie man
Can take the whole thing over then
He'll be so pleased, I do declare
That he will cook him rare, whee

I say that we take a cannon
Aim it at his door and then
Knock three times and when he answers
Sandy Claws will be no more

You're so stupid, think now
If we blow him up to smithereens
We may lose some pieces
And then Jack will beat us black and green

Kidnap the Sandy Claws, tie him in a bag
Throw him in the ocean, then, see if he is sad
Because Mr. Oogie Boogie is the meanest guy around
If I were on his boogie list, I'd get out of town

He'll be so pleased by our success
That he'll reward us too, I bet
Perhaps he'll make his special brew
Of snake and spider stew (mmm)

We're his little henchmen and we take our job with pride
We do our best to please him and stay on his good side

I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb
I'm not the dumb one
You're no fun
Shut up
Make me
I've got something, listen now
This one is real good, you'll see
We'll send a present to his door
Upon there'll be a note to read
Now, in the box we'll wait and hide
Until' his curiosity
Entices him to look inside
And then we'll have him, one, two, three

Kidnap the Sandy Claws, beat him with a stick
Lock him up for ninety years, see what makes him tick
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, chop him into bits
Mr. Oogie Boogie is sure to get his kicks
Kidnap the sandy claws, see what we will see
Lock him in a cage, and then throw away the key
Ah, ha, ha (he, he, he)

121410272023

kspbutitscursed · November 7, 2023

cloud has thunderous applause

AlamoVampire · November 7, 2023

Our bucket and purreels