Ben J. Kerman Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) WISH GRANT ERROR 404: wish non-existent. I wish for a properly colored, regular Lego scale Remote control Lego Liebherr R9800 mining excavator with all the Lego pieces (Including moving/controllable parts) the proper instructions, and the proper app downloaded on my phone so I can control it, all of this delivered safely to me (Not any clones, alternate personalities, or otherwise not the @Ben J. Kerman asking for this wish) on Earth within a week or 2, without Earth imploding or exploding, without being in a simulation, without me having any medical issues or conditions, without my house being destroyed, without the excavator or my phone gaining sentience, without it being dismantled, without it being stolen, without the granter's head exploding or having any other medical issue or reason why they cannot grant my wish, without the excavator melting, without it being opposite, without being teleported anywhere, and I wish to be happy once I get it, even without other Lego mining equipment, and for my phone to remain non-stolen, non-damaged, and non-otherwise something bad happening to it, and I wish for the following NOT to happen: "After 1 or 2 weeks it arrives, you assemble it, then 'G-Men' swarm your home, inject you with happy serum, and take you away, safely, happily, to experiment on you. During this time, the president signs in an emergency bill that forbids any more of those Lego sets being manufactured from now until the end of time. All current sets will be donated to Lego museums. Also, in the bills sub-paragraphs are legal gag orders to prevent you (both the real you, and any alias or moniker related to Ben J. Kerman and or any subsidiaries thereof) from ever making any wish that is longer than 2 standard English sentences, in which no conjunctions may ever be used and each sentence is confined to no more than 2 nouns and 2 verbs, from this post onwards. Further, any wish made by Ben J. Kerman et.al. may not contain any modified version of a previous wish made by said person regardless of the amount of modification under penalty of a fine not less than 2 million dollars or jail time of less than 10 years." Please read my wish carefully. Edited July 6, 2021 by Ben J. Kerman Dientus's wish grant (About a wish being only 2 sentences and stuff) is now void because it is now a new page. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Fluffy Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Granted, but you are a crane so you can't play with it. @Ben J. Kerman i made a wish. I wish for pizza rolls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben J. Kerman Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) Oh, whoops, sorry. Granted, you get a pizza flattened by a steamroller (Actually called an asphalt compactor) I wish for my previous wish, but with me remaining in human form. Edited July 6, 2021 by Ben J. Kerman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dientus Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Nope Per presidential cease and desist gag order, sub paragraph 2 subsection 4-A that clearly reads "No" I wish to not be transported to any arctic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben J. Kerman Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Granted, you are transported to somewhere in South America where spiders are as big as trucks, it's always 100 degrees, and the humidity never goes below 80%. Have some fun! I simply wish for a Lego Liebherr R9800, is that so much to ask for?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Fluffy Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Granted but it has all of this unneicarlly lumped on: I wish for a properly colored, regular Lego scale Remote control Lego Liebherr R9800 mining excavator with all the Lego pieces (Including moving/controllable parts) the proper instructions, and the proper app downloaded on my phone so I can control it, all of this delivered safely to me (Not any clones, alternate personalities, or otherwise not the @Ben J. Kerman asking for this wish) on Earth within a week or 2, without Earth imploding or exploding, without being in a simulation, without me having any medical issues or conditions, without my house being destroyed, without the excavator or my phone gaining sentience, without it being dismantled, without it being stolen, without the granter's head exploding or having any other medical issue or reason why they cannot grant my wish, without the excavator melting, without it being opposite, without being teleported anywhere, and I wish to be happy once I get it, even without other Lego mining equipment, and for my phone to remain non-stolen, non-damaged, and non-otherwise something bad happening to it, and I wish for the following NOT to happen: "After 1 or 2 weeks it arrives, you assemble it, then 'G-Men' swarm your home, inject you with happy serum, and take you away, safely, happily, to experiment on you. During this time, the president signs in an emergency bill that forbids any more of those Lego sets being manufactured from now until the end of time. All current sets will be donated to Lego museums. Also, in the bills sub-paragraphs are legal gag orders to prevent you (both the real you, and any alias or moniker related to Ben J. Kerman and or any subsidiaries thereof) from ever making any wish that is longer than 2 standard English sentences, in which no conjunctions may ever be used and each sentence is confined to no more than 2 nouns and 2 verbs, from this post onwards. Further, any wish made by Ben J. Kerman et.al. may not contain any modified version of a previous wish made by said person regardless of the amount of modification under penalty of a fine not less than 2 million dollars or jail time of less than 10 years." Please read my wish carefully. I wish Ben could get his Lego crane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dientus Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Granted, for only $450 USD (about 380 Euro's or 33,472 Rubles) he can have it! Does not include shipping and handling or local taxes. Limit only 3 per household (no need to corrupt, its the truth from Lego!) Wish I had some ice for this heat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrdinaryKerman Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Granted, it's shaped like a grid fin for large surface area and thus fast melt speed. I wish for a minifigure-sized LEGO Falcon 9 and Crew Dragon set. readable modern English-language instructions included (booklet in one piece, undamaged, and not scrambled), all pieces made of ABS plastic to the correct size, shape, and color, no delivery mishaps, no surprises inside, no packaging rot, enough free time to make it, no case of 'my 8-year-old brother knocked it over immediately after I finished it'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Fluffy Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 (edited) Granted, but your 9 year old brother knocked it over. I wish I had a blanket on right now. Edited July 7, 2021 by Admiral Fluffy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdJ Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Granted. There is a blanket ban on you making any more posts untill you show me a drawing of a Kerbal dog. (made my own but it is ugly) I wish for a room full of draws that contain every piece of lego available, In enough quantities to make anything I like. Even @Ben J. Kerman's model. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerbiloid Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 (edited) (ninja'd) Just now, ColdJ said: I wish for a room full of draws that contain every piece of lego available Granted. You are hired by the lego museum as a janitor. *** Granted, SET BLANKET = ON. I wish for SET MOSQUITOES = OFF. Edited July 7, 2021 by kerbiloid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dientus Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Granted. SET MOSQUITOES = OFF ..... SET FIREANTS = ON SET CLOSET_MONSTER = ON I wish to see the future and bring back future tech. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdJ Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Granted. You have seen the future and decided to bring back all the "Future Tech" that were in 60s Scifi movies. The future was so bright that you now have to wear shades. (by Timbuck3) I wish I was the janitor at the Lego museum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerbiloid Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Granted. You are a janitor and start collecting your lego pieces. I wish Legolas was named after Lego. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Fluffy Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Granted, Legolas is now the best selling action figure of all time. Ha ha Denmark Language Joke. I wish I had a Working Teleporter that will not disintrigate me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dientus Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Granted. You go up the colored steps, into that round tube and... BOOM teleported across the middle ring of the circus I wish to see A Fluffy fly across the stage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdJ Posted July 8, 2021 Share Posted July 8, 2021 Granted. You see a Fluffy but it is a little fuzzy. I wish I didn't care about apathy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerbiloid Posted July 8, 2021 Share Posted July 8, 2021 Granted? Do you really care? I wish to repeat tomorrow what I did yesterday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdJ Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 Granted. You are now stuck in a logic loop. I wish you well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerbiloid Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 Granted. Now there is a deep narrow pit with water at the bottom in our yard. I wish a huge comet hit Venus, so we could see a steam show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdJ Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 Granted. But you are charged a yearly, auto renewing, subscription fee. I wish that many great mods were stock KSP features. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dientus Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 Granted but now KSP takes 49 minutes to load on a supercomputer and has actual physical space Krakens. I wish I could concentrate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuranAce Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 You can now concentrate but every time you concentrate someone dies. I wish I had a Buran. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Kerbal Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 I want a one eyed octopus with 100 tentiticles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerbiloid Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 Granted. You have a diving trip to Fukushima. I wish you want a three-eared cow with two tails, there is also a special place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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