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Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!


vexx32

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A great chasm opens in the ground, tearing the entire world in twain. There is a violent shaking as the ground beneath your feet lifts and falls as if it were floating on great ocean rollers. You see the sky darken as ominous storm clouds tower high above you, and then the hail begins; slowly at first, but gradually you can see that the hailstones are increasing in both size and frequency. The enormous ice crystals rain down from the heavens and tear through the roofs of houses, cars and businesses. You see enormous skyscrapers tumbling to the ground as if they were mere paper models left out in the rain. Power lines come crashing down around you, starting a myriad fires. Despite the darkness, the constant lightning, flashing like a strobe light, reveals to you the full extent of the destruction around you as entire cities are washed into the great chasm that is getting rapidly wider. The end times are upon you. You realise that there will be no more wishes, save for the desperate cries for mercy from those few who have yet to perish.

The end. I wish we had known

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Unfortunately, the person grilling your sandwich for you never learned proper grammar and spelling like wot I does. So you ask for a "really good grilled cheese sandwich" and he misinterprets what you say and gives you a really well grilled cheese sandwich. You excitedly take the plate from him and pay for the meal, but then you see what he gave you, and your stomach turns as you look forlornly at your charred piece of coal that he served you.

I wish all people were taught good grammar.

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Granted.
It gets ethically inappropriate to accuse somebody in illiteracy, because it's humans who invented the grammur, so a human person can't be illiterate, it's the grammah who is unperfect.
So the grammar gets simplified dramatically, now it's proper to write as you feel correct. So, all peeples knows the good grammer, but not all wayz understand the grammor of itch othah.

I wish others accept my own grammar as a standard.

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Granted. Russian is now adopted as the worldwide official language. However, since it is such a difficult language to learn, most people don't bother actually learning it. It remains an official language, but only in theory.

Spoiler

Outside of the international section, the forum rules now require me to provide a Google Translation of non-Russian posts.

Предоставляется. Русский язык сейчас принят в качестве официального языка во всем мире. Однако, поскольку это такой сложный для изучения язык, большинство людей не утруждает себя его изучением. Он остается официальным языком, но только теоретически.

 

I wish to learn Russian and travel to Kamchatka.

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Granted. Now you live in Petropavlovsk-Kamchatskiy, the City of Eternal Midnight.

I wish others understand the joke. 

Spoiler

In Soviet times and some time later,  every day at 15:00 Moscow Time the Central Radio was (still is?) transmitting the signals of exact time (six beeps) and read a list of local big cities in various time zones from West to East.

As Petropavlovsk is the most Eastern of these cities, and its local time differs by 9 hours from Moscow (15+9 = 24), it was always stated that
"In Petropavlovsk-Kamchatskiy - midnight."

 

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Granted. All those who grew up there understand the joke, everybody else just glazed over.

I wish we could actually get an international sign language to work and be understood by all the people on earth.

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