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Mister Dilsby

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  1. Mister Dilsby
    Hmm, does this mean I've touched the "third rail" of KSP fanfic--and survived? Absolutely! And of course since I'm usually playing for laughs, not only do I shamelessly use tropes but I link to key examples on my Canon page (in .sig)
  2. Mister Dilsby
    @ZooNamedGames, i read through it and it's not bad at all. Some thoughts: I don't think it's that you lose the readers, it's that you never grab them in the first place. What your story is about, and what makes it unique, is that it's about what happens after the mission--we just click "recover" and it's over, right? But maybe for the Kerbonaut, it isn't! However we don't know that that's what this story is about until the second big block of text. And to get there we have to get through the first block. I admit, I read this when it first came out and stopped somewhere in the middle of that first block. "Just another first mission report," I said, and moved on. So, you need to either grab readers with the unique element with your story sooner, or hold their interest longer so they'll get to it before giving up. Actually, you should do both. I would: Cut out anything extraneous in the leadup, anything that doesn't accelerate us directly to the crisis. Show us right away this isn't a routine re-entry and landing. Related to the above, keep the focus firmly on Jabe--when you name the mission controller, that signals the reader to pay attention to Chris. By convention, named characters are important. But Chris isn't important any more once Jabe crashes and loses communication--in fact, Jabe is the only character around for what looks like the whole rest of the story. So, don't distract the reader from her. Break up those blocks of text into paragraphs. Each new line of dialogue is a paragraph also! This makes the whole thing easier on the eyes. Sorry, but grammar and spelling do count. "Breath" is the noun, "breathe" is a verb. "You're still on course," not "Your still on course." Getting and keeping readers is about building trust--trust that the time invested reading a story will pay off with great entertainment. Readers are more likely to trust you if you demonstrate technical proficiency. And that goes for things like proper paragraph spacing, etc. I hope that helps--good luck!
  3. Mister Dilsby
    Radar altitude also makes so much more technical sense; really, the sea-level gauge should only work on worlds with an atmosphere. (they rely on a pressure reading)
  4. Mister Dilsby
    ...
  5. Mister Dilsby
    As tempting as it would be to write a 37-page exposition of how the first ones/creators/others/whatevers built that statue, as of the last page we are back to the year before year zero and will continue moving forward.
  6. Mister Dilsby
    Yeah, I thought about putting a turban on Werhner and giving him a staff, but naaaah.
  7. Mister Dilsby
  8. Mister Dilsby
    Thank you! And yes, I did! In its very first trial I took off, did a nice tight 180 at 1000m, and parked it in the middle of the runway. It's not a bad little plane at all, though it's woefully underpowered for most purposes and doesn't have any 'convenience' features like fuel lines to the wing tanks, or a ladder.
  9. Mister Dilsby
    Well, last time I crossed the street with three of my friends I was wearing shoes, if that's what you're getting at.
  10. Mister Dilsby
    No, not really. I have my arcs and plotlines prepared long in advance--in some cases months ahead--so by the time readers are commenting, what they're commenting on is usually already decided. But in any case, what makes this fun for me is the act of creating my own stuff and seeing if people like it. If it wasn't my story and mine alone I'd have no reason to do it. So, I guess you could say the author is as much 'deaf' as he is 'dead'. I really hope people understand the whole "the author is dead" thing as it pertains to literary criticism and not, you know, dead dead. But yeah, I love it too. You guys are the best readers ever
  11. Mister Dilsby
    Sorry if I'm patting myself on the back here, but I can't resist pointing this out: No, I didn't have any of this in mind back when I wrote Eve: Order Zero--but doesn't it put how cooly Wernher handled Mort in a whole new perspective?
  12. Mister Dilsby
    Yeah, there's definitely something cosmological going on. You're on the right track regarding the Desert Temple--in fact, if I weren't dead I could tell you that every easter egg in the game fits into my grand plot somehow. But anyway-- Nope, impossible because there aren't any! Kerbulus and Kerbin exist in the same one-body, limited SOI, Mister Blocko universe. But anyway, let's have a couple more pages... Surprisingly, the Stormbird worked perfectly the first time out, and I don't think I spent more than 15 minutes building it. It's by no means a high performance fighter but it is fun and easy to fly! I'll release it, the W-2 missile and Wernher's "Fliegenstrudel" to the Spacecraft Exchange at some point in the future.
  13. Mister Dilsby
    Obviously a stunt double. Also pictured, an ME-262 replica with Kerbulan markings taking off from what is clearly Runway 09 on Kerbin.
  14. Mister Dilsby
    Hm, I wonder if I should have had him escape in some sort of flying ziggurat instead? ETA: teaser.
  15. Mister Dilsby
    Nope, you didn't miss it, and it's on my list of Things That Need To Be Explained. Also, note that while lots of Kerbals and Kebulans each know of the others' planet, at this point Wernher and Gene Kerman are the only characters to know that pairs of like-named people exist on the two worlds.
  16. Mister Dilsby
    Yeah, that pretty much captures it
  17. Mister Dilsby
    The way it works is this: I'm dead for any pages that have already been posted, but alive for all the future ones. It's kind of like an ever-moving Heisenberg's Kuzzter... except I can go back and change a page I've already posted at any time, so maybe I'm not completely dead after all. But anyway... you want to talk about this and not Bobak's awesome van Dyck? And my whatever-it-is-but-maybe-Jim-knows? Fine...
  18. Mister Dilsby
    Ok, ok, one more page--anything to get us back on track from this Mechakuzzter foolishness! ...also thought it appropriate given today's wonderful Plan Kappa update
  19. Mister Dilsby
    If I were still living, I could tell you whether you're right or not.
  20. Mister Dilsby
    Dammit, you're right. Well, it was a good life
  21. Mister Dilsby
    You know, we've never established whether Kerbulans have snacks. That could indeed have made the difference between war and peace--I, for one, have never gotten in a fight with anyone with whom I've shared Planters cheez puffs. Oh, Wernher is getting agonized offscreen--that's his assistant/intern/whatever watching in horror, same Kerbulan you see with the clipboard next to the LV-N, and with the radioactive sample in his face that Wernher is holding with the tongs. But I do have an explanation for why Wernher only has a mustache--just haven't gotten to it yet. Fun Kuzzter fact: I did have an evil Kerbulan beard at one point, and then a 'stache, but both disappeared shortly before a trip to Hawai'i for reasons quite similar to the one @Geschosskopf describes. Well, something happened that prevented Evil Gene nuking the planet. Stay tuned! Gees, people! First page, second panel! Two kerbulans visible, one has a full Evil Spock beard, the other is Wernher!
  22. Mister Dilsby
    ...and Thompberry's heart grew three sizes that day...
  23. Mister Dilsby
    Hey, it's Friday! And I have some pages! I might interest readers who weren't aware to know that there really was such a letter in our history. And the kittehkatt's out of the cargo container--Wernher is indeed inside that fairing! With what else, I wonder? Well, there have been some good guesses already, and I think that at least one of you has guessed exactly right.
  24. Mister Dilsby
    Well, I've written about 10,000 words this week and made LOTS of pictures--all for my day job, which is why I haven't made an update. But you can have this teaser: Nickname of this W-2 variant is the "Fat Kerb". Make of that what you will
  25. Mister Dilsby
    Greetings, @Thomas P.! You have achieved a great honor in the internet points. Welcome!
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