Win Prizes and Explore New Languages: Localization Pre-release out on March 16th!

[MiffedStarfish]

Wait, so you gave us a countdown followed by a countdown? Oh no, it's the Sombra ARG all over again.

 

[Rocketthrust]

If you have an article that's really big, can you put it to a link?

[HebaruSan]

10 minutes ago, Rocketthrust said:

If you have an article that's really big, can you put it to a link?

 

Such an entry most likely would be disqualified for not following the rules, unless the length is because you've used some extremely long words:

 

19 hours ago, UomoCapra said:

Rules

• The article must have a title and be between 200 and 300 words in length.

 

[TheEpicSquared]

My entry:

 

 

The Kerbal Chronicles

 

KERBALS IN SPACE!

Author - Chinwen Kerman

Editor - Dimfred Kerman

Photo Credits - Kerbal Space Program

 

 

IT'S OFFICIAL!

 

On Day 79 of Year 1, Jebediah Kerman went where no kerbal has gone before. To space.

 

Jebediah was selected for the historic flight, due to his "unusual courage" and "high resourcefulness".

 

As Jebediah was completing his training, his spacecraft was being developed at breakneck speed.

Above: The particular Merkury CSM that Jebediah was in during the flight

 

The Merkury CSM is the cutting-edge in space technology. Featuring a pressurized capsule and a launch escape system (LES) in the event of a launch failure, it ensures kerbal safety in every situation. 

 

The Merkury CSM, weighing in at 4.5 tons, is too massive to be lifted into space by the Kerbin 2 rocket, currently used by the KSP.

Above: The Kerbin 2 rocket, expected to be retired soon in favour of the larger and more powerful Kerbin 3 rocket.

 

Instead, a new rocket was developed for missions like these, the Kerbin 3.

Above: The Kerbin 3 rocket.

 

Jebediah boarded the rocket at 09:47. Rollout was completed at 11:00 and fueling began shortly after, concluding at 11:30, with Jebediah snugly in the capsule.

 

At 11:59:56, four seconds before launch, the command was given and the first stage engine ignited, delivering a huge amount of thrust. Four seconds later, the hold-down clamps released and Jebediah began his flight to Low Kerbin Orbit.

Above: The first kerballed space expedition, Merkury Ex-1, lifts off, with Jebediah Kerman inside.

 

Six minutes later, the second stage of the Kerbin 3 rocket re-ignited, to put Jebediah Kerman not only into LKO, but also into the history books as the first kerbal to enter orbit.

 

A mere 10 seconds later, the CSM separated.

Above: The Merkury CSM, with Jebediah inside, separates from the second stage.

 

After one day in space, the two CSM engines ignited to de-orbit the spacecraft. After a successful reentry, the parachutes deployed and Jebediah safely floated into the waters east of the Kerbal Space Center.

Above: An aerial view of the capsule descending.

Below: The view of the landed capsule from the recovery vessel.

 

In a statement, Jebediah said, "It was an amazing experience. Even reentry, it was nerve-shattering but exciting at the same time. I guess the fact that flaming tendrils of death are just centimeters away from you serves as a good way to get the adrenaline going. On a more serious note, for now I have gone higher, further and faster than any Kerbal before me. But I hope these records are beaten, that Kerbals go faster, further and higher than me, so that us Kerbals can stand together and charge out into space, to the Mun, Minmus and other planets, to advance space exploration; because space, not Kerbin, is the rightful home of Kerbalkind."

 

The KSP is working to develop a two-kerbal capsule, to extend efforts to reach out into space. We will continue to update the general public on space exploration as it happens.

 

Until next time, I'm Chenwin Kerman, and this has been the Kerbal Chronicles!

 

 

 

 

 

It's actually 419 words (not including the picture captions), because I simply couldn't get it to 300 words (my original was over 600 words). Anyway, it's not that long, especially with the pictures.  

Edited March 3, 2017 by TheEpicSquared

[Sigma88]

2 minutes ago, HebaruSan said:

unless the length is because you've used some extremely long words

 

spoilers

 

Spoiler

OR EXTREMELY BIG

 

Edited March 3, 2017 by Sigma88

[gre8pen]

4 hours ago, gre8pen said:

KSA telescope reveals habitable planets !

KSA's Kitzer Space Telescope has revealed the first known system of 8 Kerbin-size planets. One of these planets is firmly located in the habitable zone, the area around the parent star where a rocky planet is most likely to have liquid water.

The discovery sets a new record for greatest number of planets found around a single star outside our kerbol system. All of these eight planets could have liquid water – key to life as we know it – under the right atmospheric conditions, but the chances are highest with the one in the habitable zone.

“This discovery could be a significant piece in the puzzle of finding habitable environments, places that are conducive to life,” said Gene Kerman, director of the KSC mission control. “Answering the question ‘are we alone’ is a top science priority. We are planning to send a mission to that star system as soon as possible".

At about 40 light-years from Kerbin, the system of planets is relatively close to us, in the constellation Kernarus. Because they are located outside of our Kerbol system, these planets are scientifically known as exoplanets.

This exoplanet system is called KRAPPIST-1, named for The Kerbal Planets and Pudding Secret Telescope (KRAPPIST). 

-Vince Kerman

Imagine if the Kerbals eventually find our Solar system ! That would be a cool addition to the game lore

[Darth Badie]

Hey guys we opened a thread so you can post your submission 

[Kerbart]

LARGE EXPLOSION AT ZALTONICS LABS; ENGINEER BLOWN INTO ORBIT

Early in the morning of March 13th, the secretive complexes of Zaltonics Labs were rocked by a large explosion. Government officials and Zaltonic security personell immediately sealed off the area. A Zaltonics employee, who because of our promise of anonimity will only be referred to by his first name, gave us some insight in what happened:

 

DONFRIT K.: “We were working on a quantum flux capacitor for our new anti-matter power source. Our chief engineer, Scotty Kerman, warned the site manager, James T. Kerman, that we were going to overload the core. I recall him yelling “She's gonna blow, cap’n!” but before we knew it there was a large explosion. When the smoke disappeared we noticed a Mk-II Lander Can sized hole in the roof. THEN we noticed the Mk-II Lander Can test capsule was missing. And poor Flirbarth, our junior engineer, was inside it, soldering some loose wires.”

 

Kerbal Observatories observed that indeed a new object was spotted in low Kerbin orbit. “We are not confirming that, just because the size, mass and shape of the object match that of a Mk-II Lander Can, that it IS a Mk-II Lander Can. In fact, at this point we’re not confirming ANYTHING. We also deny that there is a flying saucer wreck found on the North Pole. No sir!” was all we got from them before the hung up.

 

Zaltonics Labs refused to answer any inquiries. “There has been no explosion or incident. Whatever happened this morning has nothing to do with the rescue mission which is being scrambled together right now on the Kerbal Space Center. There is no such thing. In fact, we don’t know why they are doing that.”

[something]

I couldn't  resist, doing this:

 

'Ok lads, I gonna make this one quick and painless - we do have a huge PR problem. The public does have the distinct feeling that nothing changed in the past years. Society is bored of just being told of the 42nd landing on Laythe or Eve. We need something new. We need the WOW-effect.' the CEO started the meeting. The employees were overwhelmed and for a short time which felt like half an eternity nothing was heard at all. In fact, you could have heard the vacuum fluctuations if that was possible. Finally an employee, apparently a scientist, raised his voice 'We could discover new planets and moons every now and then.' The crowd agreed quickly, although tempting, this proposal would lead to a landing on a planet which is just like Duna. The wow-effect was completely missing. And anyways, there is only one solar system out there. A software engineer proposed, now they had invented communication and the not bouncing wheel, it might be of particular interest to investigate the speed of transmissions as a first proof-of-principle experiment in order to determine the speed of light, should it have any. While this idea certainly was brilliant, it lacked the wow-effect. A physicist then proposed to build huge scale interferometers in space in order to research space-time disturbances. This and many other ideas were proposed but then a trainee, who had studied economics analysed the situation 'Guys, according to a survey, most of our viewers on TV tune to other channels, as nobody knows when the actual action - the launch - starts. We can adress that problem by telling them how much time is left until the next launch.' 'Well and in the mean time we do show footage of explosions and add exciting contests. We make the launch an event that is entertaining' a woman from the Marketing Department proposed. A sociologist asked which language was to favor for those contests, still a bit sceptical.  The CEO raused his voice. 'All of them. Just translate it to all the languages' This was a truly amazing idea, everybody agreed. From now on the company would directly contribute to the understanding of peoples and maybe even win one of those famous Peace Prizes. The thundering applause in the meeting room did not go unnoticed - several kiloparsecs away, a pair of three satellites, orbiting a main sequence star in a distance of 152 million kilometers, noticed a tiny disturbance of its laser links...

[JonathanPerregaux]

Georgia Man Launches Actual Kerbal Space Rocket, with Predictable Results

Exercising 2^nd Amendment Constitution rights, local Georgia man Rupert Grimsby, a retired aeronautics engineer from Northrop Grumman, launched an actual, full-sized replica of a space rocket he designed using Kerbal Space Program. It failed.

Walton County Sherriff Connie Brubaker said, “It was the darndest thing I ever saw. One minute I’m sitting in my prowler, sucking down a coffee from the Food Lion, and the next thing you know the whole sky lit up. I thought it was a nuke. But when a burnt RCS thruster pack crashed into my hood, I knew it had to be old Rupert at it again.”

At press time, cleanup crews were still figuring out how to pry a melted piece of an S3 KS-25x4 “Mammoth” Liquid Fuel Engine from Old Man Weatherbee’s mill stone.

“I was confident about the design,” Mr. Grimsby explained over the phone from his hospital room, where the rasping sound of ventilators could be heard. “Once I arrived at a suitable design for my tiny payload using Kerbal Space Program, I started adding more boosters.”

Rupert had all the necessary parts fabricated using leftovers from a local junk yard.

When asked what went wrong, Rupert was openly honest. “I would say my reach exceeded my grasp, but really it was the struts.”

“Yeah, he’s a little crazy,” opined Rupert’s ebullient daughter Charlotte, who is burned over 40% of her body. “Last year he built a sky-crane using an array of 24-77 ‘Twitch’ Liquid Fuel Engines and used it to drop a clown onto my son’s fourth birthday party. I heard the clown is back on solid foods now, so… worth it!”

What’s next for Rupert Grimsby?

“A mobile version,” he stated. “Next time I launch one of these suckers, it’s gonna be from my iPhone.”

Edited March 11, 2017 by JonathanPerregaux

[Darth Badie]

52 minutes ago, Rocketthrust said:

If you have an article that's really big, can you put it to a link?

Yes @Rocketthrust you can post a link  

[MikeZDB]

I`m Spanish, so my post to the contest was in the 2 idioms the original spanish one, and the english translation (the better i can), here i go:

¿Do the Kerbinauts dream with humans?

For a long time the Kerbinauts have civilized Kerbin looking for answers out there, but, ¿what if they actually have the answer themselves?

 

Since countless times, when there was a version 0.25 of the Kerbal Space Program, we have built thousands and thousands of flying and space devices to sail, understand, explore and often see how they exploded and smoked these devices and the kerbals on board.

Taking a look forward, we often see a glass, not a spaceship or anything that resembles it, a glass blinded by an intense light that we decided to call Kerbol, but, ¿if in fact all this time we have been handled by a superior entity who built and managed our future at will, and we have been mere virtual toys of the so-called supreme god "Human"?

That is the called KERMAN THEORY:
¿Why we all call ourselves Kerman? 
¿We come from the same place? 
¿We are a unique creation? 
¿Why are we all green?

This theory can have the answer to these questions, which precisely explores in this way all these concepts of mental and physical liberation, being able to be oppressed even by a virtual apparatus that keeps us locked up without being able to escape our mission, but, we have not yet been able to launch a probe far enough to know if we are locked in a box, being watched under a glass, but soon we will have the answers that we need...

 

!In the next special, we will unveil the whole "Kerman theory" and surprises about our future!

 

By: Miguel Angel "¿Kerman?".

 

 

Bonus: *Original language (Spanish)*:

¿Sueñan los Kerbinautas con humanos?

Durante mucho tiempo los Kerbinautas han civilizado Kerbin buscando respuestas ahí fuera, pero ¿y si en realidad la respuesta la tienen ellos mismos?

 

Desde tiempo incontable, cuando existía una versión 0.25 del Kerbal Space Program, hemos construido miles y miles de aparatos voladores y espaciales para surcar, entender, explorar y muchas veces ver como explotaban y echaban humo estos aparatos y los kerbals a bordo.

Echando una mirada hacia delante, muchas veces nos parece ver un cristal, y no de una nave ni nada que se le parezca, un cristal cegado por una luz intensa que decidimos llamar Kerbol, pero ¿Y si en realidad todo este tiempo hemos estado manejados por un ente superior que construía y manejaba nuestro futuro a su antojo y nosotros hemos sido meros juguetes virtuales del denominado Dios supremo Humano?

 

La llamada "TEORIA KERMAN":

¿Porque todos nos apellidamos Kerman?

¿Venimos del mismo sitio?

¿Somos una creación única?

¿Porque todos somos verdes?

Esta teoría puede tener la respuesta a estas preguntas, que precisamente explora de esta forma todos estos conceptos de liberación mental y física, pudiendo estar oprimidos incluso por un aparato virtual que nos mantiene encerrados sin poder escapar de nuestra misión, pero, todavía no hemos podido lanzar una sonda lo suficientemente lejos como para saber si estamos encerrados en una caja, siendo observados bajo un cristal, pero pronto tendremos la respuesta.

 

!En el próximo especial, desvelaremos toda la teoría "Kerman" y desvelaremos sorpresas acerca de nuestro futuro!

Por: Miguel Angel "¿Kerman?".

 

NOTE!: This is my Nr.100 Post!

Edited March 3, 2017 by MikeZDB

[Whirligig Girl]

5 hours ago, gre8pen said:

KSA telescope reveals habitable planets !

KSA's Kitzer Space Telescope has revealed the first known system of 8 Kerbin-size planets. One of these planets is firmly located in the habitable zone, the area around the parent star where a rocky planet is most likely to have liquid water.

The discovery sets a new record for greatest number of planets found around a single star outside our kerbol system. All of these eight planets could have liquid water – key to life as we know it – under the right atmospheric conditions, but the chances are highest with the one in the habitable zone.

“This discovery could be a significant piece in the puzzle of finding habitable environments, places that are conducive to life,” said Gene Kerman, director of the KSC mission control. “Answering the question ‘are we alone’ is a top science priority. We are planning to send a mission to that star system as soon as possible".

At about 40 light-years from Kerbin, the system of planets is relatively close to us, in the constellation Kernarus. Because they are located outside of our Kerbol system, these planets are scientifically known as exoplanets.

This exoplanet system is called KRAPPIST-1, named for The Kerbal Planets and Pudding Secret Telescope (KRAPPIST). 

-Vince Kerman

Relevant:

Heck, I might as well drop in my own fake article on the subject of SLIPPIST-1.

 

Seven Worlds around SLIPPIST-1

 

The Kerbal Astronomical Society's SLIPPIST instrument (Shadow of Light Imaging of Planets and Planetesimals In the Sky Telescope, not to be confused with the Kerbal brand of Root Beer after which the telescope was named), has just made an incredible discovery this week. The SLIPPIST-1 Star System, around which we previously knew of three Kerbin-sized planets, has been confirmed to be the parent to an additional four planets, for a total of seven. At least three of these worlds are known to be in the habitable zone, the region of space around which water can remain liquid.

 

Using data assembled from the Kerbal Space Program's tracking station simulator view, each planet would appear in their mutual skies almost as big as Mun or Minmus in our sky. SLIPPIST-1's star is a red dwarf, meaning it is so much cooler than the Sun that all of the planets must orbit extremely close to it to get the same light. SLIPPIST-1 also marks the biggest collection of Kerbin-sized exoplanets that has been found by the Kerbal Astronomical Society. However, as the star system is over 40 lightyears away, it's not likely the KSP will be sending space probes to the system any time soon.

 

Astronomer Fobrin "Coalsack" Kerman was quoted as saying "If we are to find evidence of extrakerbolar life forms, transits in front of small dim stars are the easiest to measure the oxygen of." Despite the fact that very few of his audience understood such big words as "measure" and "oxygen," the Harvester Memorial Kindergarten School and Press Conference Room will be welcoming Dr. Coalsack back soon to talk about his further findings as they are made, preferably at the proper time and in front of the proper audience.

Edited March 3, 2017 by GregroxMun

[Darth Badie]

19 hours ago, Dimetrodonscantfly said:

Here's mine 

                            Kerbals rescued from jool

                                    “Finally some blue” says Jeb Kerman 

        This kriday kerbals jeb bill and Bob returned to kerbin in a huge fireball after being rescued from jool after 5 years in joolian orbit. 5 years ago kerbin was devastated by the failure of all the lv-n nerv engines on the odyssey when trying to manoeuvre for an encounter with pol. Data from the craft shows that the nuclear core shorted out from overheating. Stranded in space for three years until the rescue vehicle arrived the kerbals survived off snacks and dried fruit from a greenhouse. Jeb described the experience boring and “needed more SRB’s”. Bill had built makeshift greenhouses with glass salvaged from the lander and landing struts. Bob had brought back enough science to determine that jool was not in fact made of guacamole. But the most exciting discovery was yet to come. Using the  onboard telescope Bob found a solar system with 3 possibly habitable planets. The planets are much bigger that kerbin but if not made of kerbium a rare high density material that all planets around kerbol are made of could support life. 

Hi @Dimetrodonscantfly can you post it here: 

Please?

Thank you so much! 

19 hours ago, Angel-125 said:

The contest was not the secret project I was hoping for (a comet would've been cool, but maybe I can mod an asteroid), but what the heck, here's my entry:

How Do Astronauts Wear Their Helmets?

The second most asked question to all astronauts beyond how do they go to the bathroom in space, is how do they wear their helmets? The helmet is a vital component of an astronaut’s spacesuit. It keeps the air we breathe in, and the vacuum of space out. Its visor offers unparalleled visibility while blocking the harmful rays of Kerbol. But as any kerbal can tell you, our arms are too short to reach the tops of our heads, so just how do the astronauts wear their helmets? Do they use mechanical arms? Are the helmets equipped with Reaction Control System (RCS) thrusters? Do they get help? This investigative journalist attempted to find out.

To test the mechanical arm theory, while touring Kerbal Space Center, I examined the insides of the crew capsules used by the astronauts as well as the Hitchhiker habitat and MP-LG-2 Mobile Processing Lab. There were no indications of mechanical arms mounted to the insides or tucked away in some storage drawer. Instead, storage containers held items like trash, garbage, and rubbish. Next I looked at one of the spacesuits used by the astronauts, and sure enough, the helmet had no RCS thrusters that let the astronaut pilot it and dock it to the suit collar. The only possible conclusion is that they get help. That would make sense for the three-kerbal Mk1-2, but what about the Mk1? Or the Mk3 cockpit, when only one astronaut is aboard?

“It’s classified,” is all Bill Kerman, one of the "Original Four" astronauts, would say on the subject. Why, do they use alien technology from some crashed flying saucer to wear their helmets? Unfortunately, for now, the answer remains a mystery.

- Mike Kerman, KBC News

Hi @Angel-125 please post it here: 

 

 

Thank you so much! 

18 hours ago, Foxster said:

Here's my entry...

 

So, one pleasant afternoon at the KSC, an astronaut was walking by the VAB when he comes across a tour group.

 

One Kerbal at the back of the group was shouting at his young son.

 

“Hurry up, Jebediah with the big head!” the Kerbal berated his son. Smack! Smack! He struck the poor young Kerbal around his undeniably big head.

 

“The bus is waiting, Jebediah with the big head!” Smack! Smack! He struck the boy again, even harder.

 

The astronaut was concerned. He walked up to pair.

 

“Sir, why must you beat your little boy so?”

 

The Kerbal told a sad tale.

 

“Once upon a time, my lovely wife, Klamidia, was wonderful to make love to. She was so young and inexperienced. It was like trying to fit a Mk3 fuel tank into a Mk2 cargo bay…

 

Then she gave birth to Jebediah with the big head!” Smack! Smack!

 

Hi @Foxster please post it here: 

 

 

Thank you so much! 

17 hours ago, ottothesilent said:

My "entry"

Note: read "entry", as "wastebasket fodder"

________________________________________________________________________

“Performed as Expected”

 By Otto Kerman

 

Last week, Kerbal history was made, as one of our one proudly carried out the first failed EVA. Cern Kerman successfully exited his spacecraft, and failed spectacularly in his goal of carrying out a range of scientific tasks, including a test of new mobility technology, dubbed “the jetpack”. Kerbal Chronicles spoke to Cern shortly after landing.

 

OTTO: So, Kerbonaut Kerman, you were unable to complete your assigned tasks?

 

CERN: That…...ummmmm…….is correct.

 

OTTO: Would you mind elaborating on that, erm, very eloquent response?

 

CERN:  Ummm…….sure. I was trying to……..attach myself to the PMD [Personal Mobility Device], and that sucker weren’t having none of it. I worked up quite a sweat, as you might imagine, since we didn’t have any damn drinks in the suits, and my visor just wouldn’t quit fogging up.

 

OTTO: So it was at that point you aborted the planned EVA?

 

CERN:  Actually, no. I……..uhhhh……lollygagged for a while. I wrestled with that sumpoodle of a jetpack a while, then I just kinda sat. Funny, I was as calm as I ever been, and Kerbin’s whizzin’ by at a million miles an hour. The sight was……..amazing.

 

OTTO: You weren’t afraid of, “rapture of the heavens”, which supposedly befell your comrade Ed?

 

CERN: Hell, no. I don’t put stock in no doctor. They got more “opinions” than a fly’s got eyes. Anyhow, I just kinda…….(large snore)...........spaced out for a while. I guess I really got sucked in, ‘cause I didn’t hear Gene down in Control yelling for me to get back in.

 

OTTO: I imagine that caused your crewmate a deal of anxiety.

 

CERN: Damn straight (laughs). I guess it falls to Buzz Kerman to take the next shot.

 

OTTO: Thank you for speaking with us.

 

Hi @ottothesilent please post your entry here: 

 

 

Thank you so much! 

16 hours ago, ILikeIke said:

KERBAL SURVIVES 200 METER FALL DURING INITIAL SPACEFLIGHT

Two hours ago, Kerbal I launched on the first Kerballed suborbital mission. Launch proceeded nominally, likely due to the fact that Commander Jebediah Kerman was locked out from control access, until just after capsule separation. When given control of the capsule spacecraft, he expended 95% of his capsule’s spacecraft’s RCS propellant firing all the translation thrusters at the same time, and then locked the SAS to prograde, draining the battery and causing him to lose all control over his capsule spacecraft.

He survived a prograde re-entry, only to be informed by Val, in her capacity as CAPCOM, that Mortimer took the parachute home last Friday to patch it and forgot to replace it before liftoff. Gene immediately started flipping through procedure books, while Jeb flipped the only unlabeled switch in the capsule, which ejected the capsule spacecraft hatch around 10,000m. Gene grabbed Val’s headset and told Jeb “At this point, you might as well jump.” Jeb undid his harness. At 350m, according to the camera on his pressure suit, Jeb shifted his weight to roll the capsule spacecraft, and fell jumped out of it. He hit the runway of the Old Airfield head-first, and miraculously survived. Upon leaving the hangar and encountering Jeb, recovery crew leader Gus Kerman reported significant swelling of both his head and ego, remarking “I’ve never seen a head quite that big!” after the post-flight medical check.

As a result of the flight, Wernher is investigating other ways of parachute-less spacecraft recovery, Mortimer is working on the finance team, Jeb is in rehab, Bill is looking for ways to reduce the size of Jeb’s head, and Gus is putting the finishing touches on Kerman II.

 

Walt Kerman

Public Relations Peon, Kerbal Space Program

Hi @ILikeIke please post your entry here: 

 

 

Thank you so much! 

16 hours ago, Mr. Me said:

Here is my submission:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/qtq665q0gzgl9iv/Kerbal Chronicles Submission Mr. Me.docx?dl=0

 

Why do the Rockets Boom?

 

 

 

If you have been paying attention to the news lately (which you should’ve if you actually read us), you would have seen that a ragtag group of scientists, led by the presumed deranged Wernher von Kerman, was testing propulsion methods to get a kerbal to space. I recently had a chance to speak to Wernher in his office last week:

 

 

 

                Greg: So, what do you call this project you are working on?

 

                Wernher: We call this the Jumping Flea. Jebediah, the pilot who volunteered to fly this Kraken of a machine, was generous enough to give us the parts to build it.

 

                G: What do you finally hope to accomplish from this mission?

 

                W: we want the end goal to be that Kerbalkind will eventually expand among the stars.

 

                G: I noticed that all 7,829 previous tests have failed. What are you doing this time to prevent another accident?

 

                W: We tried to pack more Snacks this time. That way Jeb will have less of an incentive to detonate the craft in protest.

 

 

 

This test, the 7,820^th in the past three years, yielded the same result as all the others: an explosion upon launch. I decided to speak with Gus Kerman, the lead engineer of the KSP to find out why it happened:

 

 

 

                Greg: So why did the craft explode this time? In tests past, it was due to pilot distress. Was it different this time?

 

                Gus: Actually, it was. This test we lost because the fuel, which we dubbed boom-boom powder.

 

                Gr: Wait, you don’t know what fuel you use?

 

                Gu: No, we found it lying by the side of the road.

 

 

 

-Greg Gutfeld Kerman

 

Kerbal Chronicles Science Correspondent

 

 

 

 

Question: Do we get messaged by a SQUAD member when our submission has been read?

Hi @Mr. Me please post your entry here: 

 

Thank you so much ! 

15 hours ago, nathan1 said:

Jebediah Announces Munar Contest

 

In celebration of almost successfully launching a rocket, Jebediah Kerman has announced a contest to send two lucky kerbals to the Mun. The winners will be launched on top of a Kerbal X for a one-way trip including in-flight snacks.

Initial reactions are mixed, as some kerbals are overheard complaining that they "were really hoping it would have been Minmus." Unnamed sources say they are "extremely disappointed" that Jebediah is only using stock parts for the contest rocket: "I've got a really good parts pack, and I'm just not sure why [Jebediah] won't use it."

Spirited discussion has also ensued regarding the impact an additional attempted launch will have. One kerbal distressed at the introduction of another launch commented that "if the flight [attempt] numbers get past 5 I'll have to start counting with my other hand, too!" It is unclear how Jebediah plans to proceed if eventual flight numbers exceed the fingers on both hands.

Kerbals have only a few weeks to enter the contest, and some confusion has arisen regarding the contest details, but some enterprising individuals have already submitted entries. Allegedly Valentina has submitted a picture of Bob's face for the "comedy" category, which Jebediah has ruled is "not in the spirit of the competition."

Hi @nathan1 please post your entry here: 

 

Thank you so much! 

15 hours ago, GregroxMun said:

INTRA-ORGANIZATION SPACE RACE DEVELOPS AS TWO ASTRONAUTS STEAL MUN ROCKET

Preparations for the Munpollo-11 rocket's launch into orbit have been sped up as of last afternoon when two astronauts stole the Munpollo-10 launch vehicle and launched it ahead of schedule. Munpollo-10, the planned "dress rehearsal" for Munpollo 11, was to be launched this week as a final test of the Mun-landing equipment. Crewed by Tommy, Eugene, and John Kerman, the mission would fly just short of an actual landing on the Mun, according to a press release this afternoon by the Kerbal Space Program. The mission plan was put into jeopardy this morning as two of Munpollo-10's astronauts--Tommy Kerman and Eugene Kerman--launched the mission, reaching Low Kerbin Orbit a few minutes later. Reportedly Tommy was quoted as saying "So long, and thanks for all the fuel," just before turning off the audio feed.

Mission Director Gene Kerman told us that they have been monitoring the trajectory of Munpollo-10 for the past few hours. Despite the Lander being short-fueled, it appears that the astronauts have attempted to fill up the tanks by scavenging fuel from the spent boosters left in Low Kerbin Orbit from previous missions. The Munpollo-10 rocket is now reportedly on a transfer orbit to the Mun. 

"Tommy always wanted to be the first Munman," said astronaut Jeb Kerman. "I think he took it pretty hard when they told him I was gonna be the first."

The Kerbal Space Program is planning to launch Munpollo-11 far ahead of schedule in order to reach the Mun before the Munpollo-10 lands. When asked why it's so important that Munpollo-11 be the first to land, PR-manager Walt Kerman merely shrugged and mumbled something about pirates, before KSC intern Linus Kerman corrected him and told the press conference "It's a matter of science."

Hi @GregroxMun please post your entry here: 

 

Thank you so much! 

 

[Darth Badie]

13 hours ago, Cadet_BNSF said:

Here is my entry.

 

 

Breaking News

After a successful launch of the Judges Space Telescope, the first of its kind, aerospace giant ZAC went on to land the Adam Class Lift Vehicle. The Adam Class, the first fully reusable SSTO had performed one prior mission to this, the construction of Kerbin’s first relay network, allowing probes to contacted anywhere in the Kerbin system. However, upon launch, it was discovered that Bill had decided to remove the solar panels without telling anyone, and the booster burned up on reentry, without any power. The designer of the rocket, Robert Goddard Kerman, neglected to comment on the abounding theory that the solar panels were not in the original design. It was not long after, that the second successful Adam booster lifted off, with its precious payload of KASA’s Judges Space Telescope. The rocket lofted its payload into a 125km x 124km orbit and subsequently deployed the telescope perfectly. Afterwards, the booster reentered, and touched down only 100km off the coast from the KSC. Upon being asked for his opinion on the subject of reusability, the director of the KSC, Gene Kerman replied “I definitely like that it brings the cost down, but it only has one skipper engine, which also brings the cool factor down,and that needs to be taken into consideration.” Both of these statements have merit, and we hope that ZAC puts more engines on their next design.

 

-Alexey Kerman, Popular Kerchanics

Hi @Cadet_BNSF please post your entry here: 

 

Thank you so much! 

[HebaruSan]

Hey @Badie, maybe the moderators could take care of migrating those submissions, since most of them were posted according to the original rules that specified this thread?

[Foxster]

35 minutes ago, HebaruSan said:

Hey @Badie, maybe the moderators could take care of migrating those submissions, since most of them were posted according to the original rules that specified this thread?

Yup, Badie, you said " We will move all the submission that are in the other thread here.  .."

[Darth Badie]

Yes guys, I already changed that we had some issues moving the entries in to another thread 

[MikeZDB]

 I already had move my post yet @Badie

 

[Darth Badie]

12 hours ago, KSK said:

Mun Cheese Discovery 'Discredited by Facts'

Dinkelstein Kerman vindicated at last

Sky-high public excitement over yesterday's ground-breaking news that the Mun really is made of cheese, was brought back to Kerbin with a bump this morning. After working through the night on a fix for Untitled Spacecraft's balky camera, engineers at the Rockomax Conglomerate were startled to discover that their Munar probe had successfully sampled a partially eaten packet of cheese flavoured snacks, presumed to have been left on the Mun by a previous team of kerbonauts.

After several minutes of feverish speculation about the identity of those unknown explorers, an unnamed intern at the Kerbal Space Centre suggested that the engineers 'turn the camera around and look for them'. As the camera slowly rotated, stunned dignitaries and VIPs were treated to a panoramic view of the Munar surface, marred only slightly by abandoned items of equipment and a large flag bearing the logo of Dinkelstein Kerman's Construction Emporium.

Dinkelstein's oft-repeated claims to have been constructing and flying spaceships long before anybody else, are well known and have led to widely reported public tensions between the irascible construction company owner and the Kerbin World-Firsts Record-Keeping Society. In this correspondent's opinion, members of that learned Society will be eating their words today.

Hi @KSKcan you post your entry here: 

 

Thank you so much! 

5 hours ago, LukasKerman said:

My entry: 

 

Lingo Unchained

Many brave Kerbals have joined the Anomaly Task Force in recent years but none of those have ever witnessed what Billy-Bob Kerman and his squad uncovered just a few days ago.    At exactly 14:47 Kerbal Standard Time, so the computer says, Billy-Bob sent out an emergency call from the Great-Great-Crater. Following a nominal procedure re-balancing the fuel inside its main propellant tanks, their plane quickly started to lose thrust on all of its 13 engines. It didn't take long until Fetha Kerman, the crews flight engineer, noticed an irregularity in the overall shape of the vehicle.    Looking outside the window she saw what sealed their fate. One of the balancing tanks was missing and the fuel was pouring out a chemical trail behind the aircraft. Protocol P404 was immediately executed and the plane landed on one of the Great-Great-Craters islands.    None Kerman was injured but he was later hospitalized and will recover soon. At this point however, no one was expecting what was about to unleash upon them. An ancient artifact, disc shaped and shining in colors no Kerbal has ever seen before. Billy-Bob flaunted his bravery and picked up the artifact. A sudden scream!    One of Billy-Bobs fingers got stuck in an opening right at the center of the disc. Having recovered from the initial shock he quickly learned he was able to spin the artifact around his finger. Surprised but still unable to release his finger Billy-Bob commanded his communication officer Chad Kerman to use the satellite laser link to cut his finger free.    To their surprise their communication device picked up a signal as the laser was pointed towards the still spinning disc. Strange sounds left the cockpit thereafter but the computer recognized a pattern. It was this very moment that changed history forever.  It was this moment when Kerbalkind discovered the Ancient Lingos!

 

Hi @LukasKerman please post your entry here: 

 

 

Thank you so much ! 

6 hours ago, Firemetal said:

Big sandwich going up in next Kerbal Space Program launch?

The Kerbal Snacks in Space company attached a bunch of avionics and solar power to a giant sandwich recently and have asked KSP to take it up to a KEO synchronous orbit around Kerbin. Snacks Kerman said the following.

"We have never done this before. This is a great leap forward in snack technology. It will be quite a hard mission but if we are meant for space, we'll get it up there."

Yes. As he said this is quite a big task but it is doable. It will go up in a Kraken II launch in a month. The Kraken II is a two stage launch vehicle with a payload capacity of about 30 tons to LKO and 8 tons to KTO. The sandwich will have a small propulsion unit for the circularization burn at Apoapsis.

The launch is scheduled for Kapril 1st 2017.

Big sandwich launch cancelled?

After a few slight complications, the Kraken II launch has been cancelled. Apparently, the engineers got very hungry when they received the sandwich.

Hi @Firemetal please post your entry here: 

thank you so much! 

[Foxster]

1 minute ago, Frybert said:

 

I appreciate your eloquent point.

 

To be honest, it was hardly worth posting once, never mind twice. 

[sal_vager]

Moved some posts to the appropriate place

[Jestersage]

Question: 300 words in English or one of the 4 new language?

[DoToH]

@Badie please, can you tell me (us) if language will be selectable via settings menu or with some kind of auto-detection as steam does? (I hate that). I'm spanish, but I would like to continue playing KSP in english. After 4 years and countless KSP hours, Spanish KSP will be weird for me.

 

 

[Darth Badie]

Thanks everyone for your help and moving the posts it will be easier for everyone I think!