totm nov 2023 Thread to discuss negative things in a very general way, just see where it goes y'know?

[Nuke]

this week in louisville slugger vs linux cage match:

i tried to get update some files on an ntfs drives. actually there are 3 aside from the one debian is installed on, a 1tb nvme drive and a pair of old 512 sata drives, which were blank. the nvme kind of the data drive from when the thing ran windows. its not really important as its only a second backup for when the spinneh disk external drive plugged into my router eventually explodes. anyway these files had gotten kind of out of date since i made the backup. i thought id use my cross platform sync software to do it. not so fast. linux decided to mount the file system as read only. after spending an hour in fstab trying to get it to like the file system, i kind of gave up. figured the best backup method was deletion, so i nuked the partition. its ok there are at least 2 drives in the house with my files on it. still i wanted something that would work on windows without being such a pita for linux, thought exfat was a good idea. after two hours trying to get that to work, breaking fstab many times (linux is easy to fix if you can remember the last thing you broke) and ending up in a permissions nightmare again. in the end i just made the drives ext4 figuring its easier to get ext4 in windows than it is to get ntfs or exfat in linux. of course i know the whole permissions thing will bite me in the buttocks should i need to actually restore the files. 

finally got the drives mounted and accessible through my home folder without typing a password. incidentally i got password wrist, as i had to type it over a thousand times this morning.  there is nothing on it, but at least i can now write files to them.  i know 1tb is not enough storage for the data, some of the big stuff like the disc image library (representing all my games i bought back when they still came on shiny plastic disks), and the downloads folder will need to go on the other drives. so i go to get my files off my network share. yea nothing is easy. apparently the linux version of the sync software cant sync from a network share. so i try mounting the share to my home folder with the other drives. after a string of access denied errors, because somehow the command had something wrong with it, my own router has banned me from logging in for the next 2 hours. it probibly also runs linux. i could probibly have window up and running and my backup job started before it expires. but i got to make dinner now. so much for the weekend. 

[AlamoVampire]

Internet goes poof while doing a flight in flightsim. Glad i chose to not fly on vatsim… internets been down at least 40 minutes… and of course its radio silence from my isp… i really hate my birthday…

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[TheSaint]

My best friend's niece committed suicide last week. Nineteen years old. I never met her, but he and I had talked about her a lot, because there had been a lot of family drama revolving around her over the last couple of years. It has shaken him a lot, and by extension shaken me a lot. If any of you are inclined to pray, send one up for Eric and his family tonight.

And if any of you ever think about that sort of thing, talk to somebody. Anybody. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[Superfluous J]

1 hour ago, TheSaint said:

If any of you are inclined to pray, send one up for Eric and his family tonight.

I am not, but you and they will be in my thoughts and I am so sorry for all of you.

That is a horrible thing and I can't even imagine what it would be like to experience it. My heart is broken for all of you.

[SunlitZelkova]

1 hour ago, TheSaint said:

Nineteen years old.

One of the sad things about getting older (I’m 22 now, my sister is 19) is seeing all the bad things in the world happen to people of your generation.

It still seems like yesterday that we were all little kindergarteners and third graders, happily running around the playground during recess.

Your friend and his family will be in my prayers.

[Jacke]

9 hours ago, TheSaint said:

My best friend's niece committed suicide last week. Nineteen years old. I never met her, but he and I had talked about her a lot, because there had been a lot of family drama revolving around her over the last couple of years. It has shaken him a lot, and by extension shaken me a lot. If any of you are inclined to pray, send one up for Eric and his family tonight.

And if any of you ever think about that sort of thing, talk to somebody. Anybody. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Years ago, a friend who've I'd known for a long time started going down a dark path due to problems in her life and how she felt about them.  I could see how bad it was for her, but I didn't know the words to say to her to help.  After a phone conversation that spooked me, I called 911 on her.  She didn't talk to me for months.  Then she did a bit.  Then a few months later, she killed herself.

I've left out details that make things even worse than what it appears to be.

I wouldn't call her problems temporary.  They had real causes, but what I think got to her was the growing feeling that they couldn't be dealt with to get her some sort of relief.  I've talked about her a lot with another friend of hers and we both agree she should have seeked help to relieve those root causes.  But that must have felt to her to be beyond what she could do.

I agree, people in pain should seek help.  You may feel the pain untreatable, but with help, maybe it can.

[Nuke]

15 hours ago, TheSaint said:

My best friend's niece committed suicide last week. Nineteen years old. I never met her, but he and I had talked about her a lot, because there had been a lot of family drama revolving around her over the last couple of years. It has shaken him a lot, and by extension shaken me a lot. If any of you are inclined to pray, send one up for Eric and his family tonight.

And if any of you ever think about that sort of thing, talk to somebody. Anybody. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

had a friend from high school do that a bit over a decade ago. i felt nothing. sometimes i question my own capacity for empathy.  i got a lot of passive suicidal ideation, every time my heart does its thing it does sometimes (they wanted me to see a cardiologist to do a stress test but wanted to send me to anchorage for it, and i find travel too stressful) i curse it for not stopping. but i see my therapist every week when she is available (the sketchiness of mental health providers these days). i wonder how many people killed themselves while their therapist was "in training". but my middle aged failure of a self is little value to the world, its far more tragic when it happens to the youngins. 

Edited October 19, 2023 by Nuke

[StrandedonEarth]

Speaking of suicide:

Weird how just earlier today I read another suicide story (on imgur? Quora? One of those), and the main takeaway I got was that if someone you know is contemplating suicide, one of the more effective things is to have them promise you they won’t. Apparently, that promise tends to stick. 

As for my own story, an old friend’s brother committed suicide around ten years ago, maybe more. However, he had stage four (non-?) Hodgkin’s lymphoma (multiple treatments had failed), and was terminal. He was only in his twenties. He didn’t want his family to watch him suffer more than he didn’t want to suffer himself, and given the lack of availability of MAID (medical assistance in dying), he figured that was his best choice. So he hung out with his big brother one night, smoking, playing games, watching stuff, having fun, then when everyone went to sleep he left his wallet on his bed and hung himself in the backyard, in a way that it would not be family that found him.

In this case it was a means to cut short incurable suffering. It was still a huge shock though. 

[Nuke]

8 hours ago, Jacke said:

Years ago, a friend who've I'd known for a long time started going down a dark path due to problems in her life and how she felt about them.  I could see how bad it was for her, but I didn't know the words to say to her to help.  After a phone conversation that spooked me, I called 911 on her.  She didn't talk to me for months.  Then she did a bit.  Then a few months later, she killed herself.

I've left out details that make things even worse than what it appears to be.

I wouldn't call her problems temporary.  They had real causes, but what I think got to her was the growing feeling that they couldn't be dealt with to get her some sort of relief.  I've talked about her a lot with another friend of hers and we both agree she should have seeked help to relieve those root causes.  But that must have felt to her to be beyond what she could do.

I agree, people in pain should seek help.  You may feel the pain untreatable, but with help, maybe it can.

the quality of the help leaves a lot to be desired. it seems to go away when you turn 18. i spent most of my childhood going to therapy and so when they turned off the valve when i came of age thinking that passing into adulthood (if we can call it that) will fix everything. public assistance gone, childhood disability disregarded (except for when i tried to join the marines), therapy gone, subsidized housing gone, with the added stress of work, school, and living with toxic family members, i think i went a good 20 years without professional help. with a little bit of help while i was still young i could have become a productive member of society. at this point all i got looking forward to is a bleak future, taking care of my mom until i cant. i promised her i wouldn't do anything drastic while i still had a place to stay, but thats subject to change. suicide is still my best alternative to homelessness and im not doing that again.

Edited October 19, 2023 by Nuke

[adsii1970]

On 10/18/2023 at 11:58 PM, TheSaint said:

And if any of you ever think about that sort of thing, talk to somebody. Anybody. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

@TheSaint, my sincerest condolences.

 

[Nuke]

and now, amazon. i ordered some new clothes, four identical pairs of pants and two identical shirts (i take fashion advice from albert einstein and johnny cash). they shipped it in six different packages with six different tracking numbers, and from four different fulfilment centers.

[Ryaja]

On 10/19/2023 at 12:07 AM, SunlitZelkova said:

One of the sad things about getting older (I’m 22 now, my sister is 19) is seeing all the bad things in the world happen to people of your generation.

It still seems like yesterday that we were all little kindergarteners and third graders, happily running around the playground during recess.

Your friend and his family will be in my prayers.

How I miss those good old care free days...

[Nuke]

care free my buttocks. when i was 22 i had to get on a bus for 2 hours, do an 8 hour job, spend an hour on the bus, go to class for four hours, spend 2 more hours on a bus and have an hour left to shower/study/eat (pick one) followed by 7, sometimes six hours to sleep. i got my degree but the whole experience turned me off to work in general. my care free days started in my 30s, il let you know when they end.

Edited October 23, 2023 by Nuke

[TheSaint]

7 hours ago, Nuke said:

care free my buttocks. when i was 22 i had to get on a bus for 2 hours, do an 8 hour job, spend an hour on the bus, go to class for four hours, spend 2 more hours on a bus and have an hour left to shower/study/eat (pick one) followed by 7, sometimes six hours to sleep. i got my degree but the whole experience turned me off to work in general. my care free days started in my 30s, il let you know when they end.

I know, right? I always laugh when people talk about how they spent their 21st birthday. I spent my 21st birthday 400 feet underneath the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, transiting back from my first Mediterranean deployment. "Happy birthday! Now go relieve the watch!" LOL. <rolleyes>

[AlamoVampire]

This whole prep for christmas thing is getting OBSCENE!!!!!!! I am barely 40 minutes into the 24th day of OCTOBER and i just saw a tent that was not there 24 hours ago. Why does this tent bug me and what does it have to do with my first sentence? Its for the sale of LIVE CHRISTMAS TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what the actual <pick your choice of finisher> is going on here? Christmas commercials started a month + ago…. Now this?

004210242023

[Nuke]

sometimes i wish holidays would just be a day off with no baggage attached to them. get the kids an orange and a crisp $20, have a modest dinner with desert. it wouldnt bother me but they are all like that. sugar coma on halloween, turkey feast on thanksgiving, ham and utter chaos on christmas, lamb and lots of eggs and chocolate on easter,  guinness and corned beef on saint patties. chocolate on valentines day, flowers on mothers day, explosives on the 4th. why does every holiday need to come with baggage? why cant it be like veterans day where you just binge war movies and and play taps on your guitar. 

and i haven't even got to my current pet peeve yet. i have just discovered that t-shirts are now lostech. add it to the list right under can openers and chairs. the fabric is wrong, the neck is to tight and while its well above my size its still too small. i also have to fly to anchorage tomorrow and i don't even have a nice shirt to wear. 

Edited October 24, 2023 by Nuke

[SunlitZelkova]

11 hours ago, Nuke said:

care free my buttocks. when i was 22 i had to get on a bus for 2 hours, do an 8 hour job, spend an hour on the bus, go to class for four hours, spend 2 more hours on a bus and have an hour left to shower/study/eat (pick one) followed by 7, sometimes six hours to sleep. i got my degree but the whole experience turned me off to work in general. my care free days started in my 30s, il let you know when they end.

3 hours ago, TheSaint said:

I know, right? I always laugh when people talk about how they spent their 21st birthday. I spent my 21st birthday 400 feet underneath the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, transiting back from my first Mediterranean deployment. "Happy birthday! Now go relieve the watch!" LOL. <rolleyes>

You guys know he was referring to the care free days of kindergarten and the 3rd year of elementary, right?

[Nuke]

1 hour ago, SunlitZelkova said:

You guys know he was referring to the care free days of kindergarten and the 3rd year of elementary, right?

i remember childhood differently.

[TheSaint]

On 9/21/2020 at 3:31 PM, TheSaint said:

Our dishwasher died yesterday. Amusingly the wife and I were just talking on Saturday about how it had been hanging on for 12 years now, how many parts I had replaced on it, and how the door seal was starting to leak by occasionally and probably needed replacing. Apparently it heard us talking and, sure enough, Sunday morning the control board died. We just decided that it was time to put it out to pasture. Went to Lowes last night, bought a new one, I installed it over lunchtime today. I like this one because it has a four-bladed chopper in the disposal, and a PowerBlast setting! It sounds dangerous!

Well, mark time: The new dishwasher made it three years without needing a repair. That...doesn't seem that long to me.  Oddly enough, it was the four-bladed chopper that died. So the dishwasher is down now until the new part shows up on Thursday. Get to washing those dishes, kids. Builds character.

[AstroWolfie]

i'm dealing with annoying people in my classes. i mostly just ignore them, and i don't have many friends, so i just stick to myself. it sucks and it's pretty lonely, but playing ksp and hanging out on this forum is nice.

[Superfluous J]

I have tons of candy and almost no kids showed up tonight.

Or should this go in the "Thread to brag about cool things" thread?

[Nuke]

halloween is canceled because i got a cold and the store was out of candy.

pretty sure its not covid, the flu, or rsv, haven't ruled out strep yet. pretty sure i picked it up from my sister's brats while i was in anchorage. children are a germ factory. 

meanwhile mom is acting like im not about to pass out, demanding coffee and things that she could make herself. may contain virus. dont infuriate the help when hes got a cold. 

1 hour ago, Superfluous J said:

I have tons of candy and almost no kids showed up tonight.

Or should this go in the "Thread to brag about cool things" thread?

we know we only get 2 or 3 trick or treaters every year. we buy candy, we eat the candy, we buy more candy, and then we eat most of that. mothers are telling their kids to only take one, i want them to hold their bag open so i can dump the whole bowl so i dont have to eat it. at least thats the way it usually goes. i lost a whole damn week and didnt have time to buy our second batch of candy. 

Edited November 1, 2023 by Nuke

[kerbiloid]

On 10/24/2023 at 8:42 AM, AlamoVampire said:

Its for the sale of LIVE CHRISTMAS TREES

Spoiler

 

5 hours ago, Superfluous J said:

I have tons of candy and almost no kids showed up tonight.

Spoiler

Little jerks are aware of old tricks. 

On the other hand, when other houses are full of skulls and pumpkins, the only candy hut in the street looks suspicious.

[AtomicTech]

15 hours ago, AstroWolfie said:

i'm dealing with annoying people in my classes. i mostly just ignore them, and i don't have many friends, so i just stick to myself. it sucks and it's pretty lonely, but playing ksp and hanging out on this forum is nice.

I know the feeling

Sometimes you've just gotta go out on a limb and out of the comfort bubble and make a friend or two! That's what I did and I've got folks to talk to in every one of my 6 classes.

In any eventuality, I'm glad that the forums can provide some solace and relief 

 

[adsii1970]

21 hours ago, AstroWolfie said:

i'm dealing with annoying people in my classes. i mostly just ignore them, and i don't have many friends, so i just stick to myself. it sucks and it's pretty lonely, but playing ksp and hanging out on this forum is nice.

I teach at a university and a community college (An American two-year college). I'm also a dad and a grandpa. My youngest child still in the home is a young teen, the same age as my oldest grandchild. So, I am familiar with your struggle - from a parent, grandparent, and educator's viewpoint. I'm going to offer you an old fart's recommendation.

Take advantage of after-school and extracurricular programs related to programs that interest you.

• My oldest granddaughter plays classical piano, is in the intermediate band program (she plays the oboe), and enjoys drama. So, the middle school she belongs to offers an extracurricular drama program - which she belongs to it. In addition to the intermediate band she's a member of, she is also very active in a local classical piano group that performs in a nearby city with a local junior orchestra. She's only the third alternate, but she still loves it. She also enjoys the friendships she's made with the kids her age who share the same interests.
• My child, who still lives in the home, is also in the intermediate band (she plays the French Horn) and belongs to the school's comic club. She enjoys drawing her version of Japanese anime and has a group of characters that reminds me of a cross between the characters of FNAF and some of the Roblox characters she's created or has downloaded mods for (Nah, I'm not too fond of Roblox). She also enjoys the friendships she's made with kids she's made who share similar interests as hers.

5 hours ago, AtomicTech said:

Sometimes you've just gotta go out on a limb and out of the comfort bubble and make a friend or two! That's what I did and I've got folks to talk to in every one of my 6 classes.

This is good advice. And in this case, extracurricular activities can be just one means to break out of your bubble. Or, if you have a public library that offers "leisure learning" activities for all ages that interest you, attend some of those. I often introduce students at the university and the community college to classes taught at some of our regional libraries (I live in a rural tri-state area of the central U.S.). Ours has offered everything from photography classes, genealogical research, plastic model detailing, cooking classes, and even history lectures on topics of interest ( ), ranging in price from free to $15.00 per class. Things like this, if they are available in your area, can increase the circle of people you are exposed to who share your interests.

One of the keys to friendships is having common ground. And while having friends on the forum is nice, nothing can replace having a hang-out buddy where you are.

On the community college campus, I usually have between three and seven students who hang out during my office hours at any time. These are people between 18 to 26 years old, and they all share the same thing as you. They have a hard time relating to others in their peer group, or they have a hard time making friends in real life. It's a shame that in our day of digital communications, we are the most disconnected people on the planet. @AtomicTech is right. Please don't make the mistake that many of my students think friendship is based on. A good friend does not have to have 100% interests in common with you. That's not even possible (ranch dressing on pizza is gross); instead, find people with whom you have 50% interests in common, build friendships around the similarities, and look beyond the differences.

20 hours ago, Superfluous J said:

I have tons of candy and almost no kids showed up tonight.

This could be a very good thing. It's good if you bought the good candy for the doorbell goblins.

It could be a very bad thing if you bought the cheap candy. Very bad thing, indeed.