Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[ColdJ]

Granted. But all the things that happened to your lego model wish happen to it too.

I wish for an infinite probability drive.

[Admiral Fluffy]

Granted, but that is infinitely improbable.

I wish for a Stalkaroy Skycrane that is mine and I don’t give it to anyone.

[Deddly]

A loud rumbling occurs as the earth is rocked by tremendous earthquakes on every continent. Great chasms open, swallowing buildings, vehicles, and living creatures. Super volcanoes erupt, spewing burning lava in every direction and choking the atmosphere with a contiguous ash cloud that remains for many years. The sun, once so proud in the sky, can no longer penetrate the darkened skies of earth, plunging the planet into a thick darkness and a devastating, inescapable cold. Almost all life and civilisation have come to an end. This is the world's final resting place. All that remain are Admiral Fluffy, who is still clinging to his tenuous life, and a Stalkaroy Skycrane that somehow managed to escape unscathed on the opposite side of the world. Since nobody else remains to claim it, it is technically his. 

I wish there weren't such tragic consequences for having wishes granted. 

[Dientus]

Granted.

Your heart is filled with joy as you see everyone on this thread have wishes that are granted exactly as intended. You see the sun shining outside your window, you speak happily with friends family and coworkers alike as you feel content and one with nature. ColdJ's computer woes are over and his mods are famous perfections. Ben J Kerman's new Liebherr lego cranes never fail and his batteries never run out of charge. The world is such a happy place and you feel accomplished with the wish you made as you walk down a cherry blossom tree covered lane. It's a shame you don't realize this is all in your mind because you chose the blue pill and will live forever in ignorant bliss separated from reality.

 

I wish my dogs weren't so mean to strangers.

 

[kerbiloid]

Granted. The finished with the last stranger and now are looking at neighbours.

I wish you have enough neighbours for them.

 

[JcoolTheShipbuilder]

Now there’s way too many!

 

I wish to be able to make a planet glow

[Deddly]

You sense a great disturbance in the force, as if billions of lives had cried out and suddenly been silenced. Somewhere in the galaxy, a planet glows exceedingly brightly before exploding into countless shards as it is destroyed by the Death Star brought into existence by @JcoolTheShipbuilder's wish.

I wish we could defeat the Death Star.

[Stormpilot]

Granted. It blows up early and you are destroyed because you are too close.

I wish for a glass of chocolate milk.

[Ben J. Kerman]

Granted, you get a 1mL glass container of expired chocolate milk.

I wish that planes weren't as overpriced as cranes.

[kerbiloid]

1 hour ago, Ben J. Kerman said:

I wish that planes weren't as overpriced as cranes.

Granted. You get all three basic coordinate planes for free.

 

2 hours ago, Deddly said:

I wish we could defeat the Death Star.

Granted. They ask KSP community for help and then design it according to the KSP principles (moar boosters, moar struts, etc).
First it gets frozen into slideshow, then Kraken brings oblivion.

 

I wish for Yoda in KSP.

[Deddly]

The writers of the Star Wars franchise call a meeting to brainstorm ideas for the next great blockbuster. Today is unlike most meetings, though. This day, all of them are suffering from a severe case of writer's block, and blank stares are exchanged across the board room. Suddenly, the eyes of one of the writers light up as she exitedly stands up, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. She says, "Has anyone here played Kerbal Space Program?" There are a few vacant stares, and one or two nod slowly, wondering where this is going. "Kerbals are a green, short, space-faring race, right? They have so much in common with Yoda! How about we make a pre-prequel where we explore the origins of Yoda's race and it turns out they're all Kerbals?" The blank stares continue and there is silence for a full five minutes. Slowly, the chairman rises. "It'll do", he says, and calls an end to the meeting, just in time for lunch. 

I wish Jarjar Binks never existed. 

[kerbiloid]

Granted. It didn't. Because it is a fiction character.

I wish it never existed even as a character.

[Deddly]

What never existed? 

 

I wish KSP had weather systems

[kerbiloid]

Granted. In winter KSP gets frozen, in summer it overheats the CPU, all other time it depends on weather: when it's raining, KSP starts lagging.

I wish Yoda released a cookbook.

[jimmymcgoochie]

“Cook, or cook not. There is no fry.”  Available at any good bookshop across Alderaan, and soon on its brand new moon that just appeared with a big crater pointed right at-

I wish the noisy neighbours would keep quiet while I’m working from home with all the windows open.

 

 

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You are working from home and have all the windows open and their visual effects enabled, so the CPU and GPU start lagging, the computer power unit  overloaded, the transformer burns, a street blackout begins, the noisy neighbours' music gets off, and they stop crying because actually this was a record, as nobody lives in the houses around for a decade after that nuclear plant incident.

I wish cats had ability to levitate and hunt the birds.

[BuranAce]

Granted but every time they levitate they die

I wish I knew how to do an interplanetary transfer.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You can do it, but for the cost of your and your ship lives.

I wish the cats could levitate safely.

[Stormpilot]

Granted. Though they don’t drop them safely.

I wish for a fully functional F-4j phantom II with 7 aim-9 sidewinders and 4 mk84 bombs to be delivered to my local airport fully loaded with fuel and undamaged in the correct colors. I wish for it to not explode or harm the plane, me, or anyone else on the ground or in the air. I wish for it to be able to return safely and I don’t accidentally drop the bombs or missles on my house. Please read this carefully and have a great day.

[Deddly]

@Stormpilot is arrested for possession of dangerous weaponry. Everyone else has a great day. 

I wish every cricket team were as nice as the New Zealand guys. 

[Admiral Fluffy]

Granted, but the Cricket race soon delves into civil war because there is an extremist group of Crickets, soon the Cricket race develops pesticides and almost wipes themselves out. The few survivors swear to never let this happen again, but they inevitability fail. The crickets in New Zealand, however, are unharmed by the Cricket Genocide War, and go on to become the leading superpower in the Cricket world.

 

I wish for a nice pet alligator that will not bite me.

Edited July 20, 2021 by Admiral Fluffy
Added more

[kerbiloid]

Granted. It can't because doesn't have teeth.

I wish @cubinator adopted the mentioned cricket teams and use them for farming.
Because I can't remember any alligator farmer here to wish this, too.

[Stormpilot]

Granted. The cricket teams are literally crickets. And are accidentally mistaken as food.

I wish for a fully functional F-4j phantom II with 7 aim-9 sidewinders and 4 mk84 bombs to be delivered to my local airport fully loaded with fuel and undamaged in the correct colors. I wish for it to not explode or harm the plane, me, or anyone else on the ground or in the air. I wish for it to be able to return safely and I don’t accidentally drop the bombs or missles on my house. I wish to not be arrested or be in an unhappy situation. Please read this carefully and have a great day.

Edited July 20, 2021 by Stormpilot

[Admiral Fluffy]

Granted, you are apprehended for possession of dangerous weaponry.

I wish I had a dish washer that could do it for me.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. You bought a dog.

Spoiler

 

I wish it likes vegetables, too.