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Explain a film badly 2


ChrisSpace

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So, in 2014 there was a forum game titled Explain a film badly, (https://forum.kerbalspaceprogram.com/index.php?/topic/91285-explain-a-film-badly/&tab=comments#comment-1547719), but since that thread is really old I want to start a new one.

Here's a few starting points (answers in white text):

1. A small isolationist nation decides to change its foreign policy.

Black Panther

2. A young entrepreneur wants his family to be proud of him, so he wipes out the entire global ecosystem and renders Earth’s atmosphere unbreathable.

The Lorax

3. A confused toddler in NYC ruins everyone’s day.

Cloverfeild

4. After being abducted and sent to another world, a tiny creature struggles to survive as its captors keep trying to kill it.

Life (2017)

5. A space whale tries to expand his rock collection, horrifying everyone.

Avengers: Infinity War

Edited by ChrisSpace
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23 hours ago, ChrisSpace said:

1. A small isolationist nation decides to change its foreign policy.

The Dictator?

 

6. A drunken and divorced man fought against criminals/terrorists and ended drunk and divorced.

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5 minutes ago, XB-70A said:

6. A drunken and divorced man fought against criminals/terrorists and ended drunk and divorced.

Die Hard.  Or True Lies?  It's been forever since I've seen it, but I know you're a fan.

 

A dude falls in love, "dies", comes back, kidnaps his true love, dies for real, comes back, and then marries her.

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30 minutes ago, Geonovast said:

Die Hard.  Or True Lies?  It's been forever since I've seen it, but I know you're a fan.

 

Die Hard indeed. Actually I just copy what I've read some years ago in a funny magazine, where an article was depicting many famous movies scenarios but from the end to the beginning. The one for Die Hard was the best, as you can start from A to Z or from Z to A and it's still the same story.

True Lies could be the same, but without the divorced option.

 

30 minutes ago, Geonovast said:

A dude falls in love, "dies", comes back, kidnaps his true love, dies for real, comes back, and then marries her.

At first I thought about Little Nikki, but as he is not "dying" it can't be.

 

 

Edited by XB-70A
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A tired engineer gets retired and enjoys the loneliness.
He spends about a year at an abandoned ranch in the desert, growing potatoes and fertilizing the soil with public restroom products.
Experimenting with a self-made moonshine still he almost blows up the ranch.
Once per several months he takes bath (due to laziness and because "your own doesn't smell", though he has enough water to pour the garden).

At last he gets bored and decides to return from downshifting to normal life.
He gets on the radio with a gang of familiar hijackers in an oathbreakingly stolen ship, puts all goods into a pickup and runs across the desert.
The hijackers have him on board and deliver to the closest city.

Edited by kerbiloid
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On 3/11/2018 at 3:40 PM, kerbiloid said:

A tired engineer gets retired and enjoys the loneliness.
He spends about a year at an abandoned ranch in the desert, growing potatoes and fertilizing the soil with public restroom products.
Experimenting with a self-made moonshine still he almost blows up the ranch.
Once per several months he takes bath (due to laziness and because "your own doesn't smell", though he has enough water to pour the garden).

At last he gets bored and decides to return from downshifting to normal life.
He gets on the radio with a gang of familiar hijackers in an oathbreakingly stolen ship, puts all goods into a pickup and runs across the desert.
The hijackers have him on board and deliver to the closest city.

Well, I'm positively sure its not the Martian so other suggestions?

My turn:

Child comes out of the closet.

Edited by Atlas2342
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  • 2 months later...
On 3/16/2018 at 11:04 AM, Atlas2342 said:

Well, I'm positively sure its not the Martian so other suggestions?

I was sure it was the Martian after the first line. 

---------

Orbiting a planet on the brink of war, scientists test a device to solve an energy crisis, and end up face-to-face with a dark alternate reality.

 

 

Oh wait.... I thought it was explain a bad film.  

--------

Ok for reals....

 

 

Lone hermit makes a wager with a ruthless land owner, and along with an annoying sidekick, reneges on the wager, destroys the prize, and keeps what's left for himself. 

 

 

 

On 3/16/2018 at 11:04 AM, Atlas2342 said:

Child comes out of the closet.

ET.

On 3/9/2018 at 8:59 PM, ChrisSpace said:

3. A confused toddler in NYC ruins everyone’s day.

The Dark Night Rises.

On 3/9/2018 at 8:59 PM, ChrisSpace said:

After being abducted and sent to another world, a tiny creature struggles to survive as its captors keep trying to kill it.

Paul.     Or a New Hope.   Or possibly even ET again... 

 

Edited by Gargamel
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4 minutes ago, Gargamel said:

I was sure it was the Martian after the first line. 

Nope. Doesn’t seem like it, does it @kerbiloid?

On 3/16/2018 at 11:04 PM, Atlas2342 said:

Child comes out of the closet.

Not quite what I had in mind...think lampposts.

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3 minutes ago, Atlas2342 said:

Not quite what I had in mind...think lampposts

Singing in the rain. 

On 3/16/2018 at 11:04 AM, Atlas2342 said:

Child comes out of the closet.

Monsters Inc

4 minutes ago, Atlas2342 said:

Nope. Doesn’t seem like it, does it @kerbiloid?

How does it not fit?

 

On 3/11/2018 at 3:40 AM, kerbiloid said:

A tired engineer gets retired and enjoys the loneliness.

Lost on mars.

On 3/11/2018 at 3:40 AM, kerbiloid said:

He spends about a year at an abandoned ranch in the desert, growing potatoes and fertilizing the soil with public restroom products.

uses martian soil to grow potatoes, using dried poo.

On 3/11/2018 at 3:40 AM, kerbiloid said:

Experimenting with a self-made moonshine still he almost blows up the ranch.

Blows up the water reactor he made.

On 3/11/2018 at 3:40 AM, kerbiloid said:

Once per several months he takes bath (due to laziness and because "your own doesn't smell", though he has enough water to pour the garden).

This is more from the book than the movie.

On 3/11/2018 at 3:40 AM, kerbiloid said:

At last he gets bored and decides to return from downshifting to normal life.
He gets on the radio with a gang of familiar hijackers in an oathbreakingly stolen ship, puts all goods into a pickup and runs across the desert.

Finally makes contact with Earth, the Ares comes back for him, against the wishes of NASA, Drives the rover across mars.

On 3/16/2018 at 11:04 AM, Atlas2342 said:

The hijackers have him on board and deliver to the closest city.

They return him to Earth, which unless our telescopes really suck, is the closest city to him. 

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1 hour ago, Gargamel said:
1 hour ago, Atlas2342 said:

Nope. Doesn’t seem like it, does it @kerbiloid?

How does it not fit?

As the potato engineer in a desert I meant Martian.
So I thought that Atlas2342 is joking presuming this is not him. (As otherwise why did he remember this movie first).

2 hours ago, Gargamel said:

Orbiting a planet on the brink of war, scientists test a device to solve an energy crisis, and end up face-to-face with a dark alternate reality.

SW s01e04 A New Hope.
Imperial orbital power station jokingly named Death Star tests a wireless power network transmitter to solve energy crisis on Alderaan, make its inhabitants happy, and stop the mutiny.

Test was successful, but result overkill.
Old electrical feeders on the planet, with the equipment half old, half stolen, repaired with random pieces of wire by golden hands of local technicians, did not survive this waterfall of power.
Simultaneous explosion of all planetary electric fuses resulted into a total destruction of the planet.
Sad, but instructive..

2 hours ago, Gargamel said:

Lone hermit makes a wager with a ruthless land owner, and along with an annoying sidekick, reneges on the wager, destroys the prize, and keeps what's left for himself. 

Terminator I.
A lonely cyborg hermit travelling in the past, rents a hotel room from the land owner, and makes a wager that he will pay for it.
(The moment isn't shown, but otherwise why would the hotel owner let him stay in the room and not called police? )
But when the land owner ruthlessly asks him from behind the door, what's happening in his room, Terminator answers him harshly, cuts out his own eye, takes weapon, and leaves the hotel, reneging on the wager that he will pay money.

2 hours ago, Gargamel said:
On 3/16/2018 at 6:04 PM, Atlas2342 said:

Child comes out of the closet.

ET.

+1.
As in "IT" he doesn't.

6 hours ago, Vanamonde said:

Cousins eventually reach a compromise on foreign aid policy. 

Dune.
A lot of political cousins there. Some of them even are not married to each other.

Edited by kerbiloid
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13 minutes ago, kerbiloid said:

SW s01e04 A New Hope.
Imperial orbital power station jokingly named Death Star tests a wireless power network transmitter to solve energy crisis on Alderaan, make its inhabitants happy, and stop the mutiny.

Test was successful, but result overkill.
Old electrical feeders on the planet, with the equipment half old, half stolen, repaired with random pieces of wire by golden hands of local technicians, did not survive this waterfall of power.
Simultaneous explosion of all planetary electric fuses resulted into a total destruction of the planet.
Sad, but instructive..

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.   Good, but no.  

I was joking when I said:

2 hours ago, Gargamel said:

Oh wait.... I thought it was explain a bad film.  

It was actually a direct copy from IMBD of the description of The Cloverfield Paradox. 

14 minutes ago, kerbiloid said:

Terminator I.

Nope, but amusing.

I think the humor comes from watching people adapt your poor descriptions to movies other than you intended. 

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Another movie.

A perspective weather management system is being tested by the protagonist.
Talented specialists have constructed the system, the tests run fine, the local weather gets controllable.
More of that, it can even control meteorites, making them to fall at a place of choice, not like they usually do.
Rains, thunderstorms, almost everything is now beyond the power of human.

But a relatively young musclehead Neo-Luddite and a random NPC girl (I still don't see why at all did they inject her into the plot) get bothered by the power of science and the triumph of progress.
They get led astray by a scientifically experienced megalomaniacal sociopath building a rocket in a barn, and jealously hating the protagonist's achievements.

They come to the protagonist's place, make war not love; cause a civil war, playing on local racial problems; and at last completely vanish all successfull researches.
While doing that, the musclehead has replaced the NPC girl with the protagonist's daughter, clever and beautiful, who betrays The Science, betrays her father, just for a stupid meat bag.
(Sad, but this part of the story is quite realistic, while the movie itself looks fictious.)

Anyway, though the forces of light have been defeated this time by brutal force and animal instincts, we still have a hope,
A year or several later the protagonist's daughter (decisive and commanding by nature, like her father was) will get bored with this musclehead, and restore what they have ruined.

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On 3/9/2018 at 5:59 PM, ChrisSpace said:

3. A confused toddler in NYC ruins everyone’s day. 

Some monster movie.  King Kong?  Godzilla?

On 3/9/2018 at 5:59 PM, ChrisSpace said:

4. After being abducted and sent to another world, a tiny creature struggles to survive as its captors keep trying to kill it.

Lilo and Stitch.

 

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11 hours ago, Atlas2342 said:

 

On 3/16/2018 at 8:04 AM, Atlas2342 said:

Child comes out of the closet.

Not quite what I had in mind...think lampposts.

The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

Movie about a bunch of blue persons living in homes made from vegetation

Edited by StrandedonEarth
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18 minutes ago, StrandedonEarth said:

Movie about a bunch of blue persons living in homes made from vegetation

Either Avatar or Smurfs.

(Those are basically the same movie, right?)

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On 3/10/2018 at 4:59 AM, ChrisSpace said:

4. After being abducted and sent to another world, a tiny creature struggles to survive as its captors keep trying to kill it.

Life (2017).

25 minutes ago, StrandedonEarth said:

Movie about a bunch of blue persons living in homes made from vegetation

Outsiders (series, 2016).
They live in wooden shacks and are blue of heavy drinking.

On 3/11/2018 at 4:15 AM, Geonovast said:

A dude falls in love, "dies", comes back, kidnaps his true love, dies for real, comes back, and then marries her.

Walking Dead

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