totm aug 2023 What funny/interesting thing happened in your life today?

[CatastrophicFailure]

31 minutes ago, Geonovast said:

Went to Duolingo to see if they have ASL.

Saw they have Klingon.

My choice ...may have shifted.

taH pagh taHbe', eh? 

[kerbiloid]

On 5/1/2022 at 11:20 PM, CatastrophicFailure said:

Had to throw a broody Cochin in the Hole for a week to dissuade her from sitting on eggs that no longer exist:

Still any questions why dinosaurs got extinct?

You even didn't need to apply a stone.

3 hours ago, Geonovast said:

Went to Duolingo to see if they have ASL.
Saw they have Klingon.
My choice ...may have shifted.

They have KSL.

Literally.

Spoiler

 

 

[Hyperspace Industries]

A substitute teacher threatened to send me to the principal because I put my hand up and asked, and I quote (translated into english), “If I may ask, and if you don’t want to answer just say so, are you going to be just a temporary substitute or are you going to teach in place of miss Chrisnette (a retiring sick teacher)?”

Single rudest, meanest, dumbest teacher I have ever seen. Alright, I’m okay with a reasonably strict teacher, it is always fun to have some quiet in between the cursewords, screams, and talking, but that is just plain mean.

After a few minutes she banned us from asking any questions at all.

She wanted us to sit and do other classes’ homework, I would have loved to, but unfortunately I had already finished all my work in other classes (seriously, I didn’t even have to work in break).

After studying for my maths test, I kept myself busy, first by numbering and counting the lines in my workbook, then by using the classic prison four lines and then cross out number system to do math, after that I rummaged in my backpack and found a tiny bible, I read a while, after that I mostly either did nothing at all, thought about other stuff, or prayed that the old teacher would get healthy and come back.

In retrospect I actually should have went with her to the principal. All she had against me was putting my hand up and asking an innocuous question. I’m sure my principal would not be happy that someone wasted his time because they thought that it was worth bringing one of the top ten kids in his grade to him just because he had put his hand up and politely asked a question.

Though, as my mother later pointed out to me on the way back, there was nothing stopping her from lying, so I may have been right to play it safe, though if I had anticipated the option of lying, all I had to do was to bring along a classmate as witness, since I have a reputation for being the good kid in class who always follows the rules.  

[kerbiloid]

1 hour ago, Hyperspace Industries said:

“If I may ask, and if you don’t want to answer just say so, are you going to be just a temporary substitute or are you going to teach in place of miss Chrisnette (a retiring sick teacher)?”
<...>
after that I rummaged in my backpack and found a tiny bible, I read a while,

 

"Tell me, a daughter of Eve!
Are you ordered to stay here forever, or are you summoned just till the end of the moon?"

[StrandedonEarth]

Ordered some books for my son (and myself) and they conveniently arrived on Star Wars Day

MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!

(And yes, I already have an old copy of "The Last Command" but needed the first two to give him. I read them a long time ago, lost the series, picked up what I could find at the used bookstore. As for the Thrawn series, I can wait to get the rest. Not a lot of time to read these days...)

Edited May 4, 2022 by StrandedonEarth

[Admiral Fluffy]

1 hour ago, StrandedonEarth said:

MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!

Happy Star Wars day to you too.

[CatastrophicFailure]

3 hours ago, StrandedonEarth said:

MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!

And altho with you. 

And just now: Rocketlab Offical liked one of my tweets! 

So far I’ve also got Tory Bruno & Maye Musk, working on collecting the whole set now. 
…and need to get blocked by Rogozin….

[StrandedonEarth]

22 minutes ago, CatastrophicFailure said:

And just now: Rocketlab Offical liked one of my tweets! 

So far I’ve also got Tory Bruno & Maye Musk, working on collecting the whole set now. 

Nice. Although in my experience, Tory hands out a lot of likes, I've gotten several. Maybe he just likes my username. The bigger question is, have you gotten any replies? I've gotten a few of those too, usually (but not always) one word and/or KSP related...

[Gargamel]

On 4/23/2022 at 9:40 PM, CatastrophicFailure said:

Had to go get diesel today, with the usual double-takes. 

I love having to wait for the one diesel pump out of the 28 available, and the one idiot at that pump is getting mad cause you’re waiting for them.  
 

I bought my diesel because I drive 100 miles a day  and it has clearly saved me money.   But yeah, the recent spike is insane.  

[Gargamel]

And I’m just now seeing it’s a Tesla.    

[AlamoVampire]

Around 24 hours ago I ordered MLB the show 22 for my ps5. Tonight after watching critical role (so about 2 hours ago as of this post, i went to the gas station to pick up some soda and crackerjacks. I didnt even think about it as I grabbed them. Then a few minutes ago i went and got a chicken sandwich from Whataburger (unless you live in texas or have passed through or yes even watched king of the hill you may not know what whataburger is, but its a well burger place lol) and as i pulled away from the drive thru it hit me like a ton of bricks. Im installing a BASEBALL game on my ps5 and i have crackerjacks. I laughed harder at myself than i should have and now have: “take me out to the ball game” stuck in my head lol. Now i will see myself out lol.

040005062022

[TheSaint]

10 hours ago, AlamoVampire said:

Around 24 hours ago I ordered MLB the show 22 for my ps5. Tonight after watching critical role (so about 2 hours ago as of this post, i went to the gas station to pick up some soda and crackerjacks. I didnt even think about it as I grabbed them. Then a few minutes ago i went and got a chicken sandwich from Whataburger (unless you live in texas or have passed through or yes even watched king of the hill you may not know what whataburger is, but its a well burger place lol) and as i pulled away from the drive thru it hit me like a ton of bricks. Im installing a BASEBALL game on my ps5 and i have crackerjacks. I laughed harder at myself than i should have and now have: “take me out to the ball game” stuck in my head lol. Now i will see myself out lol.

040005062022

You were missing the hot dogs....

[AlamoVampire]

Was watching a funny signs compilation on YouTube and saw one about skunks. It said: “Please do not pet the fart squirrels.” Too funny!

055605082022

[Geonovast]

It was last night, but we were playing Blatherround and two turns in a row in the same round were guessed on the first try with only the initial clue.

I thought it was hilarious.

If you haven't played it, Blatherround is a very simple party game but man is it fun.  It's great to finally find something to play with my near-teenager that isn't Minecraft.

[Gargamel]

@Pthigrivi  @MechBFP @JoeSchmuckatelli

Here ya go, from a post I made up-forum earlier.   This happened almost two decades ago, but it fits here best. 

Working as a medic, we’re driving home one night.   Dark, heavily wooded, high speed two lane road.   In that weird transition area between the suburbs and rural areas.   Doing about 60-65 mph. 

Suddenly, out of the darkness comes this huge bird flying right in front of us.  I see the dark wings and the white head.   Whole thing is slightly oddly shaped.  No time to react, I only see it for maybe half a second. 

*WHUMP*

Ahhhhh man.... we just hit an eagle.   That sucks.   And it was a solid thump.  We felt it.  It cleared the cab of the truck, but the box behind sticks up quite high.   We hit it good.  

Get back to base, pull into the bay.  One is the dispatchers is sitting there, having a smoke break.   We get out, he looks over at us and says “Why is there a large bass on the roof of your truck?”

Sure enough, wedged under the light bar is a large fish, quite dead.   Seeing as we have to wash the truck anyways at the end of every shift, and comical as it would be giving the next crew a roof mounted billy bass screaming along with the sirens, we knock it off the truck with a stick.    Aside from the obvious trauma caused by being hit by a barn on wheels at 65mph, there are clearly talon marks in the fish.  

So the eagle, being laden down by his over sized dinner, had to release it in flight to escape being hit himself.    We like to hope he managed to get away cleanly.  
 

And that, my friends, is how I managed to hit a fish with an ambulance. 
 

 

 

Edited May 17, 2022 by Gargamel
Got rid of funky mobile formatting

[razark]

7 minutes ago, Gargamel said:

And that, my friends, is how I managed to hit a fish with an ambulance. 

I like to think that there is an ambulance out there somewhere, with a fish silhouette painted on the side.

(Although, you shouldn't get full credit, as you has air support.)

[Pthigrivi]

34 minutes ago, Gargamel said:

@Pthigrivi  @MechBFP @JoeSchmuckatelli

Here ya go, from a post I made up forum earlier.   This happened almost two decades ago, but it fits here best.  
 

Working as a medic, we’re driving home one night.   Dark, heavily wooded, high speed two lane road.   In that weird transition area between the suburbs and rural areas.   Doing about 60-65 mph.  
 

Suddenly, out of the darkness comes this huge bird flying right in front of us.  I see the dark wings and the white head.   Whole thing is slightly oddly shaped.  No time to react, I only see it for maybe half a second.  
 

*WHUMP* 
 

Ahhhhh man.... we just hit an eagle.   That sucks.   And it was a solid thump.  We felt it.  It cleared the cab of the truck, but the box behind sticks up quite high.   We hit it good.  
 

Get back to base, pull into the bay.  One is the dispatchers is sitting there, having a smoke break.   We get out, he looks over at us and says “Why is there a large bass on the roof of your truck?”

Sure enough, wedged under the light bar is a large fish, quite dead.   Seeing as we have to wash the truck anyways at the end of every shift, and comical as it would giving the next crew a roof mounted billy bass screaming along with the site, we knock it off the truck with a stick.    Aside from the obvious trauma caused by being hit by a barn on wheels at 65mph, there are clearly talon marks in the fish.  
 

So the eagle, be laden down by his over sized dinner, had to release it in flight to escape being hit himself.    We like to hope he managed to get away cleanly.  
 

And that, my friends, is how I managed to hit a fish with an ambulance. 
 

 

 

Bruh that was 100% worth the price of admission. 

[Gargamel]

Just now, Pthigrivi said:

Bruh that was 100% worth the price of admission. 

Thankfully it was free. 

[Gargamel]

1 hour ago, razark said:

I like to think that there is an ambulance out there somewhere, with a fish silhouette painted on the side.

(Although, you shouldn't get full credit, as you has air support.)

We only painted silhouettes when we got a save, not a kill.   I was reminded of this every time I time brought in my grim reaper stencil.  

[Spaceman.Spiff]

1 hour ago, Gargamel said:

comical as it would giving the next crew a roof mounted billy bass screaming along with the sirens,

It’s a travesty you guys didn’t do this. 

[JoeSchmuckatelli]

1 hour ago, Pthigrivi said:

Bruh that was 100% worth the price of admission. 

Yup.

 

@Gargamel - you win today's one internet.

[Gargamel]

Geez, you guys really seemed to like that story.  I have a few more if you'd like. 

My 3 favorite patients of all time, and a funny story.  I've had quite a number of patients over the years (I estimated somewhere around 15k), and not every one of them stuck in my mind, but these stand out more than others.

--

Elderly man, I noticed on the wall of his room a number of military memorabilia, in particular 101st/502nd patches, and a black bar.  I asked if those were his, and he replied he had jumped into Normandy.  As Band of Brothers had recently come out, I had to ask if he knew those guys.  Yes, he was in Fox Company, and was friends with a number of those guys.  He also said it was the best depiction of the war he'd seen on screen.  Really friendly about me asking those questions, nice guy overall.  

--

Once got passed, on the road, I was doing ~30mph, by a guy on a suped up electric wheelchair.   As he blew through the red light in front of us at the next block, causing quite a commotion, he started to wobble.  Soon, a wheel came flying off, sending both him and the chair tumbling down the road.  As he was commando crawling to the curb, as his legs obviously didn't work, we pulled up behind blocking the lane.   Got out, walked over to him, he yells out "Dang it! I told my brother that wheel was loose!".  He refused our help, but we made sure he was safe in the chair on the sidewalk, and he insisted he was fine, his brother (who was supposedly coming behind on a bicycle) would catch up to him. 

--

Did a lot of contract work for the VA, so we'd often go on long trips in the region to transfer patients to the main VA facility in Cleveland.   One trip to the far outskirts of Pittsburgh, Picked up a patient by that went by the name Little John.   John was a quadriplegic from a car accident IIRC, but had done 3,4 tours in Vietnam, mainly as a sharp shooter / sniper with Marine Recon.  He said his last tour, they dressed him up as a Soviet officer and inserted him by submarine into Hanoi City, where he stumbled around acting drunk, doing recon.    Even being wheelchair bound, with limited arm movements, he said he still gets out to the range every year to qualify on the 1,000 yd range.   When I met him, he made his living being a motivational speaker.   He was 6'7" tall, hence Little John, and was one of the nicest people I have ever met in my life. 

--

And my all time favorite.

Called to a Doctor's office on the seventh floor of a professional building with a patient with Bradycardia (slow heart beat) to be taken to the ER.   We get off the elevator, notice a little (she was tiny) old lady sitting in the waiting room, calmly reading a magazine.  I walk up to the receptionist, and the Doctor standing right beside, and they indicate the lady is our patient.   Doc says she needs checked out because her heart rate was about 36 (normal is 60-100).  

At that moment I notice my partner is, not quite fighting with, by trying to hold back this 5 foot nothing elderly lady from scaling up the side of our cot.   We quickly lower the cot to a more suitable height for her to climb onto.  "Oh it goes down, how nice, that is much easier, thank you!"

I ask her how she's feeling, is she short of breath or anything.

"Oh no, I'm fine now, but I did start to get a little tired by the fifth floor."

"Did you take the stairs up all seven flights?"

"Why yes, I always take the stairs.  It's better for you."

"So what brought you to the Doctor today?"

"Well, I started to get a little after my swim this morning"

"Oh, you swam today?"

"Yes, I try to swim a mile every day.  Keeps me young."

"Ma'am, how old are you?"

"I'm a 105 years old."

Ok then.   Stunned silence from us.  I look back over at the doc, he's standing there chuckling, he's obviously dealt with her before. 

"So you came here after swimming?"

"Oh no, I went over to the old folks home where my son lives, I volunteer there in the mornings.  Although, I think it's funny I'm the oldest one there!"

We are now laughing along with her.   Take her vitals real quick, Yup, the HR is really low, her pressure is a bit low, but not seriously, and she's in no distress, so we're not too worried.

Get her out to the truck, start doing our thing, yadda yadda, on the way to the ER.   Keep talking to the lady, absolutely charming.  I call the ER to tell them we're coming, and oh look, yet again this particular ER, which I won't name but it's the largest employer in the state and named after the city it's in, is closed, no room.  So I have to pick another hospital to go to instead, and I ask if she has a preference.

"Well, since I live in ----, could we just go there?"

"Sure, not a problem"   Off we go.

Halfway to the diversion ER, she suddenly looks concerned and asks "Wait, do they have cable at this hospital?"

"Cable?  Why do you ask?"

"I need Comedy Central, I absolutely cannot miss my Daily Show and Colbert Report."

And that's when I lost it laughing. 

 

[Spacescifi]

So I was at a restaurant last night. I went to the bar section because in my experience service is faster than if I sit in the guest tables or booths. Plus a chair was off to the side on the floor so it was was not raised like the rest of the bar, making it like a stretched table for me.

I sit down and I gaze blankly at the TV screen above.

 

It's baseball. I have zero interest in baseball, but it was TV so I gazed anyway.

Within less than a minute of me sitting my butt down I hear a voice.

 

"Hi." said a smiling blond lady with her entire left arm covered with tattoos. She also had a a double ball stud nose ring.

I just was a bit surprised, since she was about 5 seats away from me, so I felt, wow, aren't you bold?

"Hi." I responded back and went back to gazing at the TV. I had come solely because I was hungry and had no interest in chatting.

Did  not matter.

"Like baseball?"

She was gazing at me again and had to turn from watching the TV to do so.

"No. If there was something else on I would actually be interested." I frankly replied.

I went back to waiting for my food and I noticed her movements out of the corner of my eye. They were mimicking mine slightly, and I can read body language.

If someone is mimicking your body language they have an interest in you. I had only minimal interest in her.

 

Why?

1. A fully tatted out arm is not appealing to me. Neither are nose rings. Beyond that she was somewhat attractive. Had nice hair.

2. Even if I was interested in her I was tired and was seriously not in the mood for chatting with a female stranger who may want more than chatting. Nor am I the type to try to pick up bar girls. I seriously am cautious and have no interest in precarious relationships or contracting diseases.

 

Nonethless I was not above a friendly chat. After I went to the bathroom and came back I asked her what team she wanted to win, and she somewhat sadly answered the team, no doubt realizing I was not interested in her.

She did tell me bye after leaving, which was more than I expected.

 

In my life I have noticed a pattern.

 

I apparently attract females with tattoos like a magnet. She is not the first.

I attract flirts, wildchilds and so forth.

The funny thing is, what I actually desire is someone.... I dunno... more of a dreamer or artist, but at the same time with a certain physical fitness and atheleticism.

 

Edited May 21, 2022 by Spacescifi

[kerbiloid]

Mr. Vallejo? Nice to see you.

[Spacescifi]

12 minutes ago, kerbiloid said:

Mr. Vallejo? Nice to see you.

 

Who is he?