Kerbals, what are they?

[Admiral Fluffy]

@Dientus, you dare say mushrooms are bad!?!

Edited July 12, 2021 by Admiral Fluffy
oh hey llok new page

[Dientus]

Oh I like mushrooms well enough, I like them on my steak! Muah ha haaa

[ColdJ]

Well I have got to say. I would hate to be a fungi riddled zombie ant.

[Dientus]

43 minutes ago, ColdJ said:

Well I have got to say. I would hate to be a fungi riddled zombie ant.

I remember seeing a documentary about that, and about a parasite that zombifies fish to be eaten by predators as well...

 

So are you saying thats what Kerbals are? An animal that has fungus in the brain controlling them and thats why they move like that, it's not because of apace suits?

 

[ColdJ]

2 hours ago, Dientus said:

I remember seeing a documentary about that, and about a parasite that zombifies fish to be eaten by predators as well...

 

So are you saying thats what Kerbals are? An animal that has fungus in the brain controlling them and thats why they move like that, it's not because of apace suits?

 

Well now you have have opened a kettle of fish.

[Mahnarch]

That explains why they don't mind being stuffed in like sardines.

 

Also, I guess I'm now having steak for breakfast... 

[Beerasaurus]

People are way too caught up on the color of Kerbals. Just look at the diversity in color of mammals on Earth and it's easy to see how selection, both natural and engineered, can account for their greeness. Maybe ancient Kerbin was dense jungle and it's effective camoflauge. Maybe the sun's rays hit Kerbin differently and the green helps diffuse harmful rays. Maybe green is sexy to Kerbals and they naturally evolved it through breeding. Don't know, but there are lots of potential reasons.

It's their shape that is the head-scratcher. That giant, flat-topped head. Short arms. Insane center of balance...

It's the why they have those bodies that troubles me.

[ColdJ]

Now you have me thinking that all the original Kerbal craft were made of wood and that is why there are no trees anywhere in my game.

[Admiral Fluffy]

10 minutes ago, ColdJ said:

Now you have me thinking that all the original Kerbal craft were made of wood and that is why there are no trees anywhere in my game.

Why does that sound Plasible?

[adsii1970]

21 minutes ago, ColdJ said:

Now you have me thinking that all the original Kerbal craft were made of wood and that is why there are no trees anywhere in my game.

 

10 minutes ago, Admiral Fluffy said:

Why does that sound Plasible?

In version .24, there was a mod that converted the stock KSP parts to trash cans, cardboard boxes, and true junkyard finds. It was fun.

[Ben J. Kerman]

6 hours ago, adsii1970 said:

In version .24, there was a mod that converted the stock KSP parts to trash cans, cardboard boxes, and true junkyard finds. It was fun.

What was it called? I know that now there is "Bargain Rocket Parts", but that adds in new parts rather than replacing them.

[StopIteration]

Since they don't require food to live they are obviously completely photosynthetic and don't eat other plants.  "Snacks" refer to sources of ionizing radiation, which kerbals find particularly tasty.  Kerbals are simply a manifestation of the plant life that covers Kerbin.  They were created by Kerbin's sentient biosphere to allow it to extend its green tendrils into space.

[adsii1970]

1 hour ago, Ben J. Kerman said:

What was it called? I know that now there is "Bargain Rocket Parts", but that adds in new parts rather than replacing them.

How should I remember? I don't even remember what I had for breakfast three days ago... Wait, what was three days ago?

[OrdinaryKerman]

2 hours ago, Ben J. Kerman said:

now there is "Bargain Rocket Parts"

Bargain Rocket Parts Recycled. The original version was in fact for version 0.24.

On topic, I still think kerbals are fully animals. Not plants, not fungi. Green skin may be camouflage to blend in the grasslands (tall grass may have been more widespread on Kerbin a few hundred millennia ago). I'm pretty sure 'Snacks™' is a friendly trade name for Kerbal all-in-one food/drink capsules, cheese flavoring optional.

[Souptime]

On 7/12/2021 at 2:53 PM, Dr. Kerbal said:

I asked the Game Theorist for help. 

 

On 7/12/2021 at 2:55 PM, Admiral Fluffy said:

Oh Boy!

Maybe this thread will get a cameo or something like that.

I better get my cut of the revenue! 

[ColdJ]

Revenue? Oooh, Did you guys read my T&Cs giving me all rights in perpetuity to the original idea that started this thread? You didn't? Oh, then just wait a sec while I go write it up.

As you all know, Jeb is a Fun Guy. No nose or ears(have you ever actually seen them pull their helmets on?, I don't think you could do it if they had a solid bone skull.) and they are very resilient and bouncy. I have had a Kerbal leave an orbiting space craft and fireball down through the atmosphere only to land safe with a parachute. When they do sort of die, they explode into a cloud of spores that gets carried on the (non existant)wind. To repopulate with hundreds of clones. (send in the clones, there has to be clones, don't bother they're here.) The green colour is only so they can hide in the grass to play pranks on each other. (they all have the same sense of humour.) They don't actually have a gender. (Val is just a natural variance in the cloned DNA) And they absorb all the nutrients they need through the skin.(snacks were created by a marketing company that wanted to see what results excessive sugar and salt would have on the populace through the generations.) Fungi naturally prey upon all the other Phylums and because they are very good at it they have wiped out all animal life and most plant life that once existed on the planet. So in closing. Kerbals are higly evolved Fungi. Thank you for your time.

P.S I would have "Liked" your answers but I have apparently used up my "Likes" for the time being. I will try again when enough time has passed to reset.

Edited July 14, 2021 by ColdJ

[ColdJ]

Damn, got 1 in. Guess I will have to make a note of the time everytime I "Like" someone.

[BuranAce]

That's the thing. they don't exist. We are all living on a simulated flat earth controlled by time travelling lizard aliens. Wake up!

[Aerodynamic Kerbal]

What if Kerbals play a game called "Human space program", meaning that they build our rockets and fly them, just like we play Kerbal Space Program 

[kerbiloid]

I would insist on my old proposal

Brief version: Kraken larvas separated into a separated neotenic evolution line.

Kraken drops caviar/eggs as mystery goo into the ocean to the East from KSC, their underwater hive/castle.

Just born Kerbals live underwater and eat whatever they catch or gather.

Full-sized Kerbals get ability to live in air, surface to the bright spot above, and start swimming to the West (i.e. to KSC), following the bright hot spot (the Sun).

They reach the coast on evening and have a rest. The place of their rest is exactly where the KSC stands.

The admin building is where the wild Kerbals were typically gathering next to the water pool (still here).

When they got sapient, they build KSC and start making rockets to keep following the hot spot,
That's how they invented the space rockets, and why they have nothing else. And why the space flights are their basic instinct.

They are neotenic, they started reproducing in earth-like manner, avoiding the Kraken phase.

So, Kraken is both their ancestor and obsolete-world antagonist, their evil granny.
They stay cautious about the Kraken, but at the same time keep the family relations as far as it's possible.

The mystery goo is the Kraken's slime with various organic things, for the eggs incubation and newborn Kerbals curing and feeding.

Also that's why the Kraken is invulnerable in KSP since its early days. No Kraken- no Kerbals, no KSP.

 

The medieval Kerbal world picture is a giant ProtoKraken swimming in space ocean, with ancient unfixed bugs standing on its top, with flat Kerbin on their backs.

The  names of these First Bugs are known to developers and other wise ones. These bugs stay unfixed since early versions.

Edited July 14, 2021 by kerbiloid

[Lisias]

29 minutes ago, Som-Boi_lol said:

What if Kerbals play a game called "Human space program", meaning that they build our rockets and fly them, just like we play Kerbal Space Program 

As a matter of fact….

 

12 minutes ago, kerbiloid said:

I would insist on my old proposal

Brief version: Kraken larvas separated into a separated neotenic evolution line.

And I on my counter proposal! They are molluscs that evolved into a higher form of life using hemocyanin on the blood - they virtually have blue blood, what on a yellow flesh give them the green colour.

 

[Rakaydos]

On 7/12/2021 at 4:19 AM, Dientus said:

Not saying its impossible mind you, just thinking about the useage of rocket fuel vs escape velocity given the known gravity on Kerbin, physics and speed of flying in atmosphere, and the clock on the screen that follows conventional time format of minutes and seconds as well. Given the evidence that the game gives us, it appears to be consistent with our time frames and what we see on screen happens as it would in life as if we were there.

 

To elaborate... Time may flow it different rates throughout the universe, hence why I won't dismiss it out of hand, but the rate that all time flows is relative and is influenced by speed and gravity. The game gives us those numbers (speed and gravity) in our standard formats so when we watch Jeb walk across the tarmac it's happening the same as if you or I walked across the tarmac in a space suit.

 

If we are assuming a plantlike dialation of perceved (not actual) time, then the actual gravity of kerbin is significantly lower than what we have been led to believe, as we erronously assume 1 kerbal-perceved "second" is equal to a human, x million vibrations of a cesium atom second, and so assume that 9.8 kerbal meters per k-seconds per k-second is the same as our familiar earth gravity.

But is a k-second is actually, say, an earth minute, the gravity of Kerbin would be 9.8m per minute per minute, or about 1/360th of an earth gravity.

 

[Dr. Kerbal]

mAYBE THERE FROM LAYTHE! aND LAYTHE HAS THAT GREEN JOOL GAS MAKING KERBALS GREEN! 

[Admiral Fluffy]

1 hour ago, Dr. Kerbal said:

mAYBE THERE FROM LAYTHE! aND LAYTHE HAS THAT GREEN JOOL GAS MAKING KERBALS GREEN! 

Theory Analysis…. Loading……

Conclusion Reached.

Spoiler

Not True.

You spell like a kindergartener.

 

[Dr. Kerbal]

11 minutes ago, Admiral Fluffy said:

Theory Analysis…. Loading……

Conclusion Reached.

  Hide contents

Not True.

You spell like a kindergartener.

 

I was in a hurry.